Coming Out/being outed

[mr magnolia]

So, as a stereotypically middle-aged man, but with 3 children under 10, I spend a lot of time in the school playground, and have a lot of 'acquaintances' who, in dad-like fashion, have names that are unknown to me.

 

The recent emergence of my 'modelling mania' has the support and enthusiastic participation of my children (and wife) but nevertheless i am amused by the way in which my loving wife has approached this.

 

She has elected to ensure that 'railway modelling' is not a secret activity by telling almost as many folk as she can, in a way that I imagine that she would if I were coming out as being gay.

 

Its a sort of 'carry on regardless, chaps' tone.

 

Personally, I stay quiet about it, and while being a purchaser of many railway modelling magazines, I find it difficult to be comfortable reading them on (say) a bus or train where your choice of reading material is open to observation. I don't feel in any way furtive about this, just guarded in my approach to publicising my interest. I have, on the other hand, been surprised by the number of engineering/modelling interests that are now creeping into discussions with others (both men and women) in the playground though!

 

What about you lot?

 

Life long interest and no revelations to make? Not a revelation at all? A secret still held? Do tell!

[amdaley]

I tell anyone who will listen because I'm proud of what I try to achieve & also I don't really give a damn what anyone else might think.

[highpeak]

In these United States, there isn't the same attitude towards the hobby that seems to be prevalent in the UK. If you declare your interest in model railroads, you will probably have to clarify exactly what form your interest takes, because the mostly likely initial response would be based on an assumption that you were into "toy trains", the kind that go round a Christmas Tree.

 

The usual outcome of your explanation would generally be a somewhat wistful remark along the lines of "wish I had a hobby/time for a hobby like that" or "you must have a lot of patience" and so on. I've never had my interest mocked in any way by colleagues or friends over here.

[PaulRhB]

Show a non enthusiast pictures of the sort of quality models we can buy and create and they are impressed and a suprising amount admit that they would quite like to own one

['CHARD]

Show a non enthusiast pictures of the sort of quality models we can buy and create and they are impressed and a suprising amount admit that they would quite like to own one

 

Better still, send them the link in Paul's signature strip above and once they've taken a look at those pics on their Blackberries (as I've just done on this laptop), they'll basically go 'WOW' and see you as part of some craftsman super-elite

 

EDIT: see, some very good modellers also joined (or rejoined) on 11-October 09!

[Mr.S.corn78]

hi all,

 

Unfortunatly as it's not seen as being cool people won't mention it unless some one else has first. I don't till people ask and if they say "toy trains, your a bit old for that" I send them to have a look here and they soon change thier minds.

 

Whilst in the local shop it's surprising the number of nieghbours that see each other and the same for people who work together.

 

A recent example is two guys who are members of a forum who have worked together for 20 years who are friends but niether knew the other was into the hobby.

 

Cheers

Simon

['CHARD]

If it all goes horribly wrong and someone releases The Fell in RTR, I'm going back in, like Barrymore did last week

[coachmann]

Try explaining it in sentences of one word when its your living! Typical conversation...

 

"What is your job?"

"Stray Painting".

"You spray cars?".

"No, I paint model locomotives".

"Ah, my dad had a Hornby trainset".

"The models I paint are this big" (holding my hands a yard apart ), and cost many hundereds of pounds".

This was always a conversation stopper as the concept of big expensive locos was beyond their ken.

 

I was asked what I did only last week while in hospital, but these days I am able to say "We produce brass railway coaches". For some reason this answer sounds reasonable...

[Chris Chewter]

I know what you mean about not openly talking about the hobby to outsiders. I managed to keep it quiet from work for several years, until they found some DVDs at my house. Railway related ones I hasten to add! I still don't mention it too much unless asked about it or my interests. I've pointed out how geeky they get when talking about football, but it falls on deaf ears.

 

I think that generally unless you like what everyone else likes, you're viewed as being slightly odd. If you're a bloke, then that's sports. So if you like something different, most people find it easier to poke fun at it than showing support for it. I understand that in America and Germany, the general view of modellers is totally different. There (as far as I've been made aware) it's seen as a perfectly respectable hobby.

 

 

There is a general thing in this country where if you like model railways, they think you play with toy trains. I'm still trying to explain to the guys at work what the difference is between a model railway and a train set, and its a damn sight more sophisticated than playing with brio!

 

Having said that, I was buying a copy of a modelling mag in a newsagent, when the fella serving me asked where was the best place locally to start buying modelling stuff from!

 

Its a strange world really, how can you enthuse and educate about a hobby without being labelled a geek?

 

[beast66606]

Its not my problem if people can't deal with my interests

 

Interestingly I am working on a new software solution which involves a project manager from a major London hospital, by chance conversations it turns out he is also a prototype enthusiast and has a model railway ! - we get along even better now B)

['CHARD]

I may have related this anecdote before, but for those who were watching football at the time, here it is on I-player

 

A few weeks ago, our postman (well, post-youth to be accurate) walked nonchalantly up the drive where I was fettling the car, weeding the cat or some such, waving a nicely wrapped parcel, the size and weight that always shouts Hornby. Or model railway engine to the initiated (or another bl00dy train, to the WAG).

 

This was from the fabtabulous Trains On Time in Paisley (no connection other than as satisfied customer), whose return address was clearly emblazoned on the side of the package, so there was a dead giveaway. The ensuing conversation went something like this:

 

'You into model trains then mate'

'Yes, I do as it goes, this is just a loco chassis in here though'

'But you've got a RAMONES t-shirt on!'

'I saw them nine times too, doesn't stop me building model railways'

'You got a layout then? Is it in the loft? Where have you built it?'

'I have got a layout as it happens'

'What do you model, steam or diesel? I like 37s because they used to go past the sorting office [sutton Park station, ed], but I've never said anything to the guys I work with, they'd just take the pi55'

'You'd be surprised mate, try them...'

 

Apologies to any RMWebbers whose parcels were late that morning - the conversation went on for about 40 minutes! Touching on DC vs DCC, diesel sound, shunting-planks vs roundies, how today's models differ from the eighties, and so on. Not for the first time I was happily evangelical about this great pastime of ours

[Chrislock]

 

I think that generally unless you like what everyone else likes, you're viewed as being slightly odd.

 

Interesting. As someone returned to the hobby in my fifties, I was amazed to see the diversity of people at the first exhibition I went to. Actually, it was quite reassuring, and the people I've met since, and their kindness in putting themselves out, has been a pleasure to me.

 

There is a general thing in this country where if you like model railways, they think you play with toy trains.

 

 

Though get a bunch of blokes together and say " want to play trains?" and you can't get rid of them!!

I'm not sure they don't compare "electric trains" with Scalextric in that context, making it somehow more acceptable, and might be more aghast to think you spend hours detailing one model for total accuracy!

 

As for spouses' attitudes, I can't help but think they view modelling as an activity which keeps you out of trouble!!

 

Regards,

Chris

[Mallard60022]

Fortunately I am old and retired so I can say more or less what I like! If asked what I do I say nothing and if asked if I have any interests I say yes and what are yours? People usually then forget to ask what mine are again but if they do I say driving steam locomotives! That usually makes them look a bit phased!

Cheers, 36E

[the fuzzler]

Its the same at work....I make things go and stop on the real railway, and its generally advised to keep quiet about any crank related activity. Slowly but surely, you then realise that there are many others, cranking away. The giveaway was when, say, 40145 or a kettle went through the station, and you noticed some others stopping and staring. Ah ha ! Then you talk to them and find out that "so and so" is a crank....and blow me, its pretty much everyone ! Apart from the miserable ex bus drivers who sadly are just in it for the money......

 

I moved TOC a few months ago and the same gradual discovery of who's who starts again. Of course, there's the odd real giveaway - the driver with Sulzer and EE engine plates riveted to his leather bag, and the odd one spotted in the nearby Ian Allan bookshop.

 

Should you risk ridicule and start reading a modelling mag in the messroom, once the guffaws have died away from the non-believers (bless 'em), someone else is bound to come over for a read. Ha ! Thats another one then!

[PrestburyJack]

Most of my work colleagues know that I like railways, real and model, I don't keep it a secret, and I think they respect me more for that, even if they do take the mickey on occasions. Doesn't stop them asking me for advice when they want to travel somewhere by rail, or take their son to see Tornado though!

 

The other day I was looking at RMWeb at work and someone asked if I was "looking at trains again". This prompted a lady who was visiting to ask me if I was a "Train Spotter". Not knowing her too well, I was a little guarded in my reply, until she mentioned that her husband had a model railway, and was interested in a new train that was being produced - turns out this was the BP from OT. There followed a 40 minute chat about model railways (she even knew that Howes are the importers for Heljan!) and preserved steam lines! She admitted to teasing her husband by calling them "choo-choos", but really she seemed happy with his hobby. The conversation ended with me e-mailing her a link to RMWeb and recommending that he join!

[Roddy Angus]

I find that the best way to read a railway magazine is to tuck it inside a copy of Playboy, you don't get as many funny looks.

 

Roddy

 

PS why do so many model shops use yellow bags? Nondescript bags make it so much easier.

[Guest stuartp]

I hated football at school (still do) which marked me down as sufficiently odd for nobody to be the slightest bit surprised at anything I was actually interested in. Nowadays I'm old enough not to give a monkey's what anyone else thinks.

 

I don't evangelise though. If people ask I'll tell them but there's nothing quite so boring as listening to someone enthusing about something you have no interest in...

[coachmann]

Beast66606 said : Its not my problem if people can't deal with my interests

Ah but you can say you're a signalman.............respect!

[wollastonblue]

I have Model Railways and Railways on my CV. Gives the prospective employer something to talk about after the main professional bit of an interview.

[br2975]

Never had to worry about 'coming out' or 'being outed' as I figured the best form of defence, is attack - so I never hid the fact that I was a railway enthusiast.

.

I have been subject of 'p!ss taking' at work over the years, but used to respond with "what's so macho about 30 blokes rolling in mud trying to hold on to a leather bag ?" or "you sit for hours beside a river dangling a worm on a string - and you call ME strange 1"

.

My working environment for over 30yrs has subjected most colleagues to some form of ridicule, based upon how they spend their leisure time .... Cardiff Blues fans - "rich club, but no silverware", Cardiff City fans - "empty bank account, empty trophy cabinet" etc etc.

.

In fact, through my job I was able to access the local railway facilities from time to time, and gain access to places through my job that are usually denied to others.

 

Brian R

[iak]

Never bothered me nor will it ever bother me.

And anyone who does try to get silly gets short shrift - the yappy wee scrum half reappears

[Oldddudders]

Never bothered me nor will it ever bother me.

And anyone who does try to get silly gets short shrift - the yappy wee scrum half reappears

Having been born near a railway line, and then attended senior school just a few miles further along it, there were always railway influences, so plenty of like-minded souls, and even a school model railway club with a basic layout. When I got to know the girl of my dreams (at 16) in the year below mine, her father turned out to be a member of a model railway club, too. Thus I never had an issue.

 

My career was another matter. Travelling 1st class every day, as my BR job entitled me to do, to London in the rush hour, one became aware that fellow-travellers were paying serious money to sit next to me, and not all thought the deal was wonderful. There tended to be "railwaymen's clubs" on such trains - safety in numbers, perhaps. Some chaps would read Modern Railways or some such, but I tended to have my head in a broadsheet, or mag from another interest. At parties (not my fave environment) the railwaymen would always congregate in one corner, with the rest wondering what dark deeds were being plotted!

 

Now, as a long-haired scruffy ghytt in a foreign country, none of this matters - they think we're weird anyway!

[ClikC]

Most of my none railway enthusiast friends know, but as we all have certain geeky interests, and none of us fall into the category what most of our American members would classify as 'Jocks', it's never an issue. Occasional ribbing is issued by all parties, one memorable occasion during a "Debate" between myself and a friend over the pro's and con's of Warhammer Vs Model Railways, another chimed in with "Matty thinks Warhammer is sad, and he likes Trains!" Needless to say, we both joined forces to defend our "Over priced pieces of plastic". Although, mine move so I still think that makes me the winner.

 

During the inevitable cars vs bikes debates that my friends have, i often like to chime in with lines about 'Not having enough cylinders', or that only '16 wheels' is the correct answer.

 

Occasionally, and typically though the medium of facebook, the odd acquaintance come to realize my interests. Typically this is a shock to them, as they don't consider me to "Look like some who likes model railways". But I'm certainly not the only person to have long hair and a liking for English Electric loco's, although admittedly their hair perhaps isn't UV reactive bright red!

 

In all honestly, it's my hobby and I care not what other peoples opinions on it are. My normal rebuttal for someone pointing out that is is "Sad", normally runs along the lines of indicated how rather "Pathetic" calling the hobby sad really is. My Bite is rather worse than my bark

 

Regards

 

Matt

[The Stationmaster]

One big bonus of the hobby in days gone by was asking the girlfriend if she would like to 'come up and see my layout' ? Beats etchings any day of the week - the old type of etchings that is. B)

[Gavvy2]

My experience has been that people are often interested in my model railway,but it is my love of the real railway that attracts the anorak jokes! The usual jibes centre on living in the past but what's so wrong with that? My formative years were spent living in the fork of the lines north of Wilmslow and I have vivid memories of BR in the fifties, including the 'Twins' on the Mancunian which I could see from my bedroom window!

 

Most male friends have some interest but I was astounded last year to find that my female neighbour of over 20 years standing harboured an active interest and she is now my scenery builder!

 

I have one rule in the railway room for non enthusiasts -No Alcohol-. Even 1 drink can turn visitors into wouldbe trainwreckers lusting after crashes!

 

Gavin