Coming Out/being outed

[Poggy1165]

There are few advantages to growing older. One of them, I find, is that I now longer give a flying **** for what people think of me or the things I do.

 

Since I no longer work for anyone except myself, I don't even have to worry about 'professional credibility' or whatever. I have never taken myself too seriously, and if others don't, frankly, I don't care. I have achieved a few things in life (though not notably in modelling!) and am quite contented with my lot.

[Guest Phil]

I guess it is something which becomes easier with age, but I was pretty much always happy to accept the pillorying "train spotter" because I was being true to myself. I actually gave up spotting at 16 when I started work on the railway.

 

The most annoying thing is when you meet the odd railwayman who tries to call any "interested" railway worker a "trainspotter" when it is widely known that he himself is also rather keen on steel rails.

 

My move from Bescot to Virgin in Birmingham was quite enlightening because I moved into an office where the majority of staff were cranks, even if a few weren't "out". It was actually perfectly acceptable to use "bash speak" on certain shifts and normals were pretty much in the minority. One of our duty managers is the daughter of a "famous" railway journalist and photographer and utterly denies being interested. Another controller understands "hellfire" and "dreadful" and the business but she doesn't actually do railways as such.

 

A colleague I used to work with years ago was a volunteer on the Severn Valley and used to take coach doors to work on night shift to restore and paint !!!

[pointstaken]

I took my 'new' wife to Barry Scrapyard in 1969 (not on honeymoon I hasten to add)

36E

 

So long as wifey didn't get totally the wrong impression

 

Dennis

[10800]

I'm not proactive about it in the world at large but neither do I hide it. When I freelanced and took my own laptop into clients' offices, it was always entertaining to see who had gathered around the model railway slideshow screensaver after I came back from getting a coffee! I've never had any ridicule as far as I remember, in fact such episodes usually result in finding out that many colleagues also have constructive hobbies.

[peach james]

I don't care who knows. I have 330 000 pieces of lego, 2 3.5" railway engines, a 4" steam traction engine, and a large OO model railway. If people don't understand my hobbies, then why should I worry about theirs, if theirs consists of drinking copious quantities of alcohol and urinating it against a wall...at least, come the next day, I have _something_ to show for it, other than a headache. I can fully understand the guys whose hobbies are woodworking, or models of any kind. I kind of get the guys whose hobbies are sports, I can see the attraction. Cars, I understand...its like full sized models . (mostly 4x4's for the guys at work- redneck p0rn is how we phrase the 4x4 mags at work). Even sports like Airsoft and paintball, I can understand. (and partake in paintball with fun occasionally). It's couch potato sports that I don't get, like watching hockey. I can understand playing it, but watching it ??? (as a religous event). That, and watching the TV for hours at a time...

 

James

[vac_basher]

I've never come out. Probably never will.

I've kept the train thing hidden even from the people I've known for years

I worry so much about what the postman thinks of all the parcels obviously containing model railway related items.

Sad but true.

 

I do however see it as a rather productive hobby. Because of this hobby of mine whilst out train spotting, or just looking into things in books or on the internet, I've learnt allot of history, geography, mechanics, architecture.... I don't think my acquaintances who are in the pub every night can say the same. Nor have those who sit in front of the TV watching practically every football/cricket/rugby match.

I'm not really into sports. But I keep myself fit. If I put on a few lbs I'll run a few miles everyday, or go to the gym. I don't like team games though.

The thing is I'm a loner (I have about 2 real friends) and don't often go to the pub because I don't really have much to say to anybody. I much rather prefer to stay home and mess with my trains or play my guitar or talk to the dog or whatever. But sometimes I sort of feel my neighbors must "know" I'm a bit odd, so I go out just to show them that I'm not a total recluse and do have a social life of some sort.

Sad aren't I?

[Jon Fitness]

Where railway based hobbies (and bus ones as well) are concerned, I always find the biggest p*** takers are the ones with the emptiest and least productive lives .

In the past, when they've taken a pop at my love of modelling, I've just asked them what they've made recently.

That'll be, er .... nothing then will it......?

[JZ]

Don't have a problem with people knowing at work. Probably over 50% have an interest in railways and a good 50% of these model. But I imagine that that is about the average in the industry.

 

 

 

 

My wife spent part of our honeymoon helping me measure up what's left of Newton Stewart station. She makes a good ranging pole - "Just stand next to that please while I take a photo..." (5'6" at 4mm:1 foot = 22mm).

 

And she thought you married her for her brains and good looks

[Andy C]

Like many here who are getting the wrong side of middle age, I no longer give a monkey's. In fact look on the facebook profile and you will see pics of the layout. My non railway friends and work colleagues know what I'm into - only one takes the p but thats because I take a similar line with his obsession with Liverpool FC and his thieving scouse ancestry, in actual fact we are very good mates. Its the same with the other hobby, Brass Banding. Folk will ask if Ive been out "playing / parping my trumpet" - wrong on many counts, no trumpets in brass bands, and I play Tuba (slight difference ), plus the usual cloth cap / whippet references, but then admire the fact you can actually play a musical instrument.

 

At the end of the day a lot of hobbies people do require an amount of skill or talent, and generaly I find others acknowledge that skill - usually along the lines "thats amazing i could never do that". That is reward enough for being honest and open about what you do.

[Buhar]

Don't know if it really makes a difference, but I always say "railway modelling" rather than "model railways", it's more active and hopefully makes people take a mental step away from the train-set on the carpet. Concerning 304mm to the foot I also say "railway history" for similar reasons. I'm "out" at work, where I am comfortable explaining how it is a really effective stress-buster (or perhaps stress-displacer would be more accurate). In fact one of my most productive modelling periods was when while I was doing child-protection training and really needed to get stuff out of my head when I got home.

[coachmann]

Coming out took on a whole new meaning for my future wife in 1960 when I took her out to York 'to see the town' in 1960. She complained bitterly when A) no one would serve us in a restaurant because of my white jacket and shoes, and B) when she was sitting at the end of York station while I took photos, even though I had thoughtfully moved a platform barrow close to a brazier that was stopping a water column from freezing up so she would have somewhere to keep warm and rest her feet. What are some people like eh.........

[Shedmaster]

I know people who would shout us all down as being nerds/lesser quality individuals etc for our interests, and then gloat how clever they are for going out and downing twenty pints of beer, cos of course "thats real 'ard an clevver, innit ?"

 

They would'nt know one end of a screwdriver from another !!!

[John M Upton]

Don't have a problem with people knowing at work. Probably over 50% have an interest in railways and a good 50% of these model. But I imagine that that is about the average in the industry.

 

Sounds about the same proportion as in my depot too. The point about being not understood by those who have 'empty and non productive lives' seems valid to me as railway interest is generally accepted across the industry, many of us are interested in railways and/or are modellers and those who are not have other active hobbies and interests as well.

 

Golf and motorbikes seem to be the main non-railway attractions at my depot, oh along with the careful selection and consumption of alcholic beverages along with the complicated working out of when said liquids can be consumed without breaching the railway alcohol regs!! I don't drink though which probably makes me fairly rare in this business.

[TT3]

I dont tend to out myself to unsuspecting strangers but tend treat it like any normal interest, indeed it is quite hard to hide it having a display case in the living room and the railway right off the front door. In fact most people have announced their interest to me. For instance I read railway mags on the train to work and managed to find a few people with similiar interests that way. Another notable time was the guy painting our windows revealed his own interest and had to have a look round at the layout.

 

In fact it is quite hard to stay in the closet as the simple thing will give you away. Just last week the chap delivering our wood cooker noticed a piece of old 00 track on the floor of the carport, a leftover aborted garden project and asked what other railway stuff I had around. Turns out he is just starting in 0 guage and was looking for advice on the best way to get started cheaply as he obtained a had a huge amount of track but had no rolling stock. I suggested a look at RMweb and to try and pick up some old Lima and Triang 0 for little money before moving on to the Bachmann and Heljan varieties.

[Talltim]

She complained bitterly when A) no one would serve us in a restaurant because of my white jacket and shoes,

Could you expand on that, is there a railway reason you were wearing them and/or why were they frowned upon?

[Kenton]

I've never been shy about boring the pants off anyone prepared to listen to my model railway "other life". However, I have learned to spot those tell-tale signs, snoring, pallid complexion, fidgetyness, running away and so moderate my infliction on all but the closest (and thick skinned) of friends.

[bluebottle]

I used to regard my interest in railway modelling as a "guilty pleasure" until I came across this quotation from the writer and Oxford academic C.S Lewis:

"Critics who treat "adult" as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adults themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence.... When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

Not the kind of reasoning that would have too much effect on the more neanderthal types of scoffers, but Lewis (and the contributors to this forum) had/have the right attitude.

[coachmann]

She complained bitterly when A) no one would serve us in a restaurant because of my white jacket and shoes,

Could you expand on that, is there a railway reason you were wearing them and/or why were they frowned upon?

I was piano-player in one of the many rock groups that were trying to 'make it' in the late 1950s/early 60s. We did pubs and clubs around Oldham, Rochdale and Manchester and dressed as we liked, hence the outlandish white coat and shoes referred to. It was all slightly unreal but thats teenagers for you......

[HerbertHopkins]

Most of my mates at college know im into Model Railways, especially after i bought a 5 inch gauge Railbus! (I couldn't think of another way a 16 year old could spend £800 so suddenly!)

 

I'm sure there are other ways a 16 year old could spend £800 so suddenly, but you'd only be wasting it!

[Baby Deltic]

It doesn't bother me too much what people think, although I wouldn't go blurting it out on a date. My mates all know I like railways and railway modelling, and don't give it a second thought. Even previous girlfriends didn't seem bothered about it. I seems that the sort of characters that extract the urine are usually the insecure ones who have to meet the requirements of what is considered normal in crappy men's magazines (which usually feature some scantily clad girl on the cover) or their peers in general.

[JZ]

Golf and motorbikes seem to be the main non-railway attractions at my depot, oh along with the careful selection and consumption of alcholic beverages along with the complicated working out of when said liquids can be consumed without breaching the railway alcohol regs!! I don't drink though which probably makes me fairly rare in this business.

 

Same in Bristol. The golfers almost sound like trainspotters when they discuss the merits of a particular hole or course. But I suppose it is the same with those of us who are Camra members.

[Guest 30-something]

I dont advertise nor hide my model railway interest, my girlfriend thinks its an extremely clever and mentally simulating hobby that utilises a lot of skills from woodworking to airbrushing. When people find out and are appalled or interested then that is their own personal choice, its the folk who try to shoot me down that are the first to shut up when I ask them what they do for a hobby that doesnt include alcohol, football and designer labels.

 

I know a few folk who are avid Star Trek fans, they are classed as weird and given a wide berth but are very decent folk who can hold a conversation on many different topics much longer than the 'accepted' people. Its not an interest of mine but that doesnt mean I wont talk to them.

 

Some folk at work would have a field day if they knew my interest, as most of them find it perfectly acceptable to spend 200 pounds plus at the weekend on drink and spend 100 pounds on a t-shirt that will be out of date in a week never to be seen again, and get into a fight every weekend (and Im not just talking about guys here). Obviously that is the right thing to do and anyone who doesnt do that is classed as a sad pathetic weirdo. However, if/when they find out my hobby I'll not be shot down by their attempt to embarass me as I have much more substance to my life than they do. I do wonder though just how many of them actually want to be that way, rather than just doing it because their friends do it.

 

Incidently, my choice of music which has a very masculine/hard image (hip hop and Drum n Bass) has a large number of railway enthusiasts of both prototype and model, why I dont know!!! It may stem from the early days of grafitti on the NY Subways/US railroad cars.

 

Cheers

 

Joe

[jamie92208]

This topic ame to mind yesterday when I was asked to do a short slot on our local BBC radio station. When I was being taken through the newsroom to the studio I was greeted by a friend who comes with his son to our modle railway club. My guide asked him how we k new each other. There was a short pause and my friend said 'we know each other from way back'. It was obvious that he hadn't come out and later I teased him about it. However the good thing is that hopefully he and his son will be at the club tonight.

 

The sad thing is that at least one other member of staff at that place is a well known 2mm finescale modeller as well as a well known TV reporter.

 

Jamie

[trisonic]

I just read through the last page only. Don't people that model railways drink? I used to, quite a lot actually. No one ever really gave me a hard time about my modeling hobby because back then I was also a competitive Practical Pistol/Rifle/Shotgunner. Simulated combat with real ammunition. Shocking, eh, in a nanny state?

I don't know whether this thread came about from my reply to Jim S-W on his blog where I mentioned "outing" Phil Collins but my tongue was in my cheek at the time.

 

In any event, in good humour, Pete.

[vac_basher]

Don't people that model railways drink? I used to, quite a lot actually.

 

Same here. Still do sometimes actually.....