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The time has come to take a break.


Stevethomas6444

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Railway modelling has been quite an emotional rollercoaster over the past couple of years. So many projects come up then quickly get scrapped. Th problem is that I push myself to build a layout that I have in my head but then I find myself not enjoying it or face an obstacle and that'll be that. I've built some layouts that I am so proud of, Chalk Lane being my first and Leahurst Green being the largest so far, but I feel as though I can't get the motivation to build one from start to finish. The enthusiasm quickly dies off and any project that gets started gets scrapped very quickly. This is the case for a layout that I've been trying to build over the past few months using bits recovered from Leahurst Green and it's been getting nowhere. 

 

So the decision has come to take a long break from the hobby, put everything into storage and come back to it when the time is right. A lot of factors have come into this decision: 

 

  • Time, money and motivation - all limited at the moment. Work has taken up a lot of my free time and has done for the past 5 years. Money is limited due to multiple house moves and a wedding to pay off. Motivation is just non-existent, the job has made me tired all the time and I rather focus on other things. 
  • Space - or the lack of it! The new house is substantially smaller than the last place, we relocated quickly, perhaps too quickly! This is only a temporary place until we can find a more suitable place, hopefully with a good spare room for a decent sized layout. 
  • My mental health - I was diagnosed with depression after losing my job as a trainee signaller, it was quite a big hit and still is after just over a year and my current job as a bus driver doesn't help it either. This plays a big part in why I don't have the get up and go with the hobby and why I get quite irate when things go wrong. 

 

In short, I can't keep forcing myself to engage in the hobby as it makes me not enjoy it, The main part of the hobby is enjoyment and if there is none then what is it? I think a break will do me a world of good and I can come back to it with a much better outlook and with some proper motivation! 

 

In the meantime, I will enjoy looking at other people's layouts and projects on here and on Twitter, there's no end of fantastic projects that you people have done. :) 

 

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I think you've put the main reason for your lack of motivation third on the list - depression, you can find away around the other reasons if the motivation was there.

 

I've always struggled when it comes to the scenery - I would begin my layout enthusiastically and then reach the scenic stage where my confidence would wain and before I knew it a new idea for a new layout took hold and off I went in a new direction.  It was only last year that I finally accepted that I couldn't keep buying stuff for each new project and then see myself with too much stock and no railway to run it, then I sold off a good proportion of my stock.

 

During some counselling last summer I had an epiphany - my incessant need to purchase was dopamine driven, it was the thrill of the finding and making the purchase - once I got the item it lacked any thrill and then made me feel bad that I had bought something I didn't really need - it's a sign of an addiction.

 

I've also accepted that when I become obsessed with a new layout plan it is probably a sign that I am depressed and this is how I look inward into myself, falling back onto a comfortable pattern of behaviours.

 

What's changed in the past few months is that knowing why I purchase stuff and why I make plans that I wont actually deliver is part of repeating patterns of behaviour that do more harm than good.  I've not purchased any railway stock since last summer, what I am buying in limited amounts are scenic items - paints, gravel etc and I am working towards finishing a railway and only once it is finished can I think about my next railway which will utilise some of my N stock.

 

Take the rest you owe yourself, sort out your head and then come back to modelling but pick something small and achievable, look at the Billy Bookcase threads - simple baseboard, simple track.

 

I typically use NHY581's Mutton as what can be achieved with simple track and baseboards, but I've also been looking a Ladmanlow sidings (Mutton inspired actually) as well

 

Can I also recommend you find yourself a local mindfulness or Buddhist group - those groups can transform people's lives.

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Hi Steve,

Depression is a real bummer mate and in my case it comes and goes. Like you, I sometimes hit a bit of a problem and then feel perhaps I am attempting too much. I have two such modelling problems right now and forcing myself to deal with them ain’t easy. I have a variety of other interests too, not of which I particularly excel at, and so with those and some of the superb modelling on show here, it is easy to slip into a depressive state. I find that breaking down issues into small chunks makes them more manageable and I hope you have a supportive partner.

If you need to take a break, that is understandable but have you thought of building rolling stock / buildings / signals / locos etc as a way of doing smaller projects to get over your personal hump? Perhaps a shelf layout on which to test anything you make?

Good luck anyway.

Tony

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Definitely empathise with this and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it mate. I've had to take a 12 year break from the hobby, with only minor indulgences inbetween, because of similar struggles. But you know what's great about that? In the intervening years, the hobby has advanced tremendously. The fact that I now have a Sentinel, Cargowaggon, Polybulk, and PBA "tiger" hoppers, sat in boxes in my drawer, is more than I could've dreamed and it's opened a lot of doors. Added to that is the Hornby 08, Dapol class 22, various other clay wagons by DJ Models and Dapol, Hattons coming out with the definitive class 66, and Bachmann retooling their class 25. Winding the clock back 12 years, that stuff would've been a HELL of a lot of scratchbuilding, kitbuilding, and superdetailing! I like scratchbuilding, but not 98% of my fleet!

If you can find the motivation to check him out, I can highly recommend the work of Dr Jordan B Peterson. Whether it be his book, 12 rules for life, his interviews on podcasts such as the Joe Rogan Experience, his youtube videos, or the online Self Authoring Suite... this guy has probably helped more people, particularly men, to get out of depression and get their life back on track, then any other psychologist at any time in history. Truly an extraordinary guy and his work has helped me immensely.

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