Lady_Ava_Hay

Never ever drive whilst you are in receipt of Morphine. You will al most certainly be illegal and liable for a hefty fine plus costs plus forfeiture of your vehicle. Although very good at targeting and reducing pain ( another reason to think it will be OK) Morphine is a very powerful analgesic. And to think that there are still people addicted to the stuff, For me, family brought me home again, safe, well and only partly under the influence. The stuff takes ages to leach out of the system

At times like these, your bucket list actually takes on real meaning and everything stops dead as you suddenly realise that something has clicked and the bucket is not only full but has combined two items in one splash. As you may recall, I sailed Tenacious last August and although ( or even in spite of ) it being a sunny drifter I vowed I would return in a heartbeat. At the same time I have a yen to see the Northern Lights. An affordable combination of the two will be irresistible. God I so want to do this. You resourceful guys might have some suggestions...………. I believe Tenacious is probably the only boat big enough to stay out long enough to finish the job and that the Northern Lights are, these days, more predictable than hitherto. Comments on both are welcome plus of course, I will be on a boat I know and love to work. It also has a resident medic to senior nurse level who Has told me that I am fit to go at a time when I felt less able than I do today. At the same time I have NOT told the barman I am planning a trip as I am sure he would drink the boat dry before I could say hello to the rest of the crew.

Things have not been very good here of recent, About 10 days ago I had a bout of uncontrollable dry retching. It didn't last long and was swiftly over , so I carried on. After a few days I had another one maybe slightly worse. Then another...…. I was admitted to Poole Hospital and had the worst bout yet directly in front of the consultant! Anyway I was duly injected with various anti nausea drugs and after two days,I was discharged. Apparently the trick is to balance my meds between pain relief and the attendant nausea caused by the pain relief. When it all works it is good but needs adjustment in terms of volume and delivery method. At least the pain has near gone and that is a blessing. Nothing really learnt but the barman is looking at me differently than before; should I worry? Ava xxxx PS What a shame the NHS is so rushed particularly at consultant level; they are bl&&ry good when stood still!! X

You may find that it is an automatic file. You will find it in the random files section. I assume you have your own file to cover the demand. ESU used to have a time delay on theirs which would play if the loco was stationary for more than 10 seconds. I have to advise you that my knowledge stops with V3.5 but I think the feature was much admired and has probably survived as a result. You will need a Lokprogrammer to adapt any files.

Safety is paramount. A short crossover would almost certainly be operated by one lever to prevent a train being directed via a properly set point onto an incorrectly set one. I am also fairly sure that facing point locks were used where there was the slightest chance of a train taking a point when the blades were facing the oncoming train. I think there was a speed limit on points not fitted with operational locks so slow shunting moves on such unfitted points were Ok. I think there was also a prohibition if any passenger servies were involved. The best bit is that all modelling of point rodding is purely cosmetic anyway and is small enough to be purely an addition in any event.

The learning curve is steep! I went to the party as planned. I made the mistake of not checking the miles between my very cheap hotel and the party venue. £24 later...…. I also booked the outbound driver for an 11pm. return. A couple of hours later I looked for but couldn't find my mobile. To cut a long story short the fellow guests at the party were amazing and made me feel like a princess. For me that was an emotional moment. At 11pm sharp the booked driver turned up and gave me back my mobile phone. Right, you are thinking, what a prize chump!! Sure enough I went to our local palliative care centre on Monday last and met two ladies ( I made the third. I was dressed as Ava ). They were calm and reassuring and when I described my symptoms they suggested that with my disease advancing and my recent lung troubles, it was little wonder that I felt so unwell. Even as they were speaking I realised that my stress and anxiety levels were sky high so the slightest thing was either imminent sudden death or my reaction to circumstances advanced greatly by an overactive imagination. In other words I was reacting to things in a psychosomatic way based on fear of the immediate future and my over-active imagination. I could immediately see that they were right. Calmly, they re-inforced the Oncology estimate of my life expectancy, still measured in years ( albeit only a few ) and told me that they were sure that there was nothing else imminent that could bite me in the bum. Within the hour I felt so much better. Uncanny. So today's lesson is don't overthink things, seek advice when needed and be aware of the psychosomatic power that these diseases bring with them. The barman is looking up psychosomatic even as we speak as I sip my latest love which is high quality tomato juice with a goodly splash of Worcester sauce ( and the occasional vodka ).

Quite a lot when they are spewing copious quantities of fireworks and the fuselage is festooned with LED lighting. The finale was Otto the Helicopter with no less that 700 kg of fireworks aboard. I got the impression that once lit it was sh1t or bust until it went out! Quite spectacular to watch. Being able to make the trip to see it was the icing on the cake, really.

As always, I try not to spread any doom or gloom but this can be difficult as you feel and have confirmed by the medics, that your lifespan is going to be short. Nevertheless I feel I have learned something about my disease of recent. You will know that I have reported pain and the discovery of blood clots in my lungs. These events gave reason for me to believe that I was closer to the end than I had thought or had been predicted for me. Stoicism can only take you so far but I felt I had no choice but to submit to further treatment although there were times when I felt that if this was how it was going to be for the remainder, then a short time was better. So I went for radio therapy to see if that would relieve the pain in my upper left leg and stop me limping and using a stick. I also commenced a course of Fragmin , daily self injections for the blood clots. Well I have to report with all digits crossed, that both treatments have worked. I am relatively pain free and able to walk quite a distance unaided and without noticeable limping. The pressure/pain in my ribcage has also subsided and I can move and breathe better than for many months. Hallelujah! My wife and I went to the Saturday Night Air display, Bournemouth Air Festival ( an annual event that I have shunned for a couple of years having captured some fabulous, apparently unrepeatable pics in previous years ). We managed to bag a bench seat that had a good view to seaward to give us the best chance of seeing any action, by being there early and coming in on the bus. It was a magical display and I can honestly say much improved over previous recent years. I made it back to the bus stop albeit a bit cold and back home without fuss. Although I took my stick and used it, I calculated that I had walked nearly a mile all told. An unimaginable distance only a week or two before. I felt really pleased that I had both made the trip and enjoyed it and my wife was similarly pleased. I feel well enough to go out on Saturday night as Ava via a cheap hotel stay for changing and breakfast. So the lesson I have learnt? Diseases in general and mine in particular do not travel in straight lines or at predictable speed. Listen to the medics and get yourself checked out at every turn. They are there to keep you alive and, given a chance, they will shift heaven and earth to do that. You have to volunteer though, they are not mind readers and you have to be scrupulous with yourself as well as them. I have an appointment with the palliative care team on Monday. I think I will go dressed as Ava. They need to know who they are dealing with!!

Which would have added much to the sticky thread in DCC Sound

In honour of you having suggested something which links with everything else...…..the barman has been replaced by the barsteward. Excellent!

The only reason that properties are no longer as relevant as they were is that the credit scoring industry has become vastly more sophisticated and that lending to properties with a chequered credit history has not subsequently gone bad. Nevertheless, there are 'poor' credit areas where folk who have somewhat indifferent credit scores might be seen to congregate. Although I agree that credit history is more people focussed, it is also effectively unregulated and can very often be product driven. It is for instance much easier to obtain credit on a brand new car than it is to obtain a bank loan for home improvements. The first three years after a change of address can make obtaining credit rather more difficult even though you have borrowed before perhaps from the same source but your credit score has dropped slightly due to difficulties over utility transfers and the fact that the previous occupier(s) had poor history. I was involved in the birth of the credit score industry and can vividly remember the revelation that credit scores were initially meaningless as, under the previous manual system, anyone in a slum address could borrow with impunity as, because nobody in their right mind would lend to an unemployed slum tenant, their credit score said they must be wonderful payers!!

To add a note of levity to the proceedings...….. I have learnt how to inject myself every day. I told my wife that the District Nurse is scheduled to come today to supervise her giving me one of these injections. Without a moments hesitation, she suggested that she would rather stick to her voodoo dolls. Ah right!

Well what a difference a day makes, to steal a verse from a song. Actually this new saga is spread over two days and has the usual educational lecture somewhere in it! Today is Tuesday. It all started on Sunday morning with me waking at 5;30am with a lot of new-to-me pain in my left side, numbness of my left shoulder and pins and needles in two fingers of my left hand, like i had slept awkwardly. I got up and took a dose of morphine, sat in the lounge and thought positive thoughts, trying to gain control of what I surmised was merely either a need for painkillers or just a sleeping awkward scenario. Half an hour passed and things seemed better so I returned to bed. As I laid down, on my back, usually the best position for my aches and pains, it actually got worse. So I lay there for 5 minutes. Eventually I just knew I needed help so I awoke my wife and she grabbed our use anywhere phone and dialled 111 at my suggestion. I thought that a District Nurse bearing extra painkillers was all I needed. The 111 operator listened to my description of my current ailments and medication, put me on hold for about 2 minutes and came back to say that they felt I should see a paramedic. Sure enough he arrived a few minutes later and went through the usual tests. By this time the 'new' pain was subsiding although the numbness in my shoulder and the pins and needles in my fingers were still there with no loss of motor control of the limb or fingers. He announced that I appeared clinically stable and had not had a heart attack or stroke. Then he suggested that an ambulance trip to hospital might be wise. I, of course was of a mind to say 'no'. Too much trouble, I wasn't that ill, didn't want to be a burden etc etc, all the usual macho stuff. He persuaded me to get up from my bed and try a circuit of the room and unbeknown to me, he was communicating with my wife behind my back. I had to admit the pain was still there and new to me although I had apparently slept awkwardly on my left arm a few times of recent and it had taken a while for those symptoms to go away. Stick with me, it gets VERY interesting in a moment. So I said yes to the ambulance and that duly arrived 15 minutes later. The car park was now dominated by bright yellow vehicles!! After a short transfer and suitable paperwork I was gently perambulated to Bournemouth Hospital A&E. To shorten the story I went home that night and returned in the morning for a scan. I have multiple pulmonary embolisms in both lungs. These are basically blood clots. If one of them had decided to form in my heart or brain I would have died or at best survived in a very damaged condition. As it was, I was slowly drowning in fluids on my lungs which made breathing difficult and near always through my mouth. I am now on daily injections of Heparin and having had two, I already feel light years better and breath quite noticeably through my nose most of the time. Two things. The original paramedic said never to withhold the call because you don't want to make a fuss. They positively love us because we are not wasting their time at all, far from it. I can confirm that much of A&E was populated by a fair number of people who seemed to know the ropes or who were elderly and infirm who had had a fall or a minor medical problem with no-one else at home to help. In my case, I firmly believe that had I not called 111 been persuaded to go to hospital I would have been very much closer to sudden death than I am right now. I feel bright and chirpy and ready to give things a try rather than sitting here feeling unwell and thinking it was the cancer. Plus I have an appointment with Oncologytomorrow which, if it works will relieve the pain in my hip area. See you all on the dance floor then. BTW the barman mixed Ava's Ruin and tequila and is still semi conscious but the never ending goodbye party rages on around his prostrate form. I have persuaded him to clean the brass rail while he is down there.

Do NOT read this if you have just eaten or are about to! Not all wine and roses this week. A lot of body pain and lethargy plus a real problem with hiccup/burps, some loss of appetite and an increasing worry about bowel movements. The last one was solved with lots of groaning and pushing followed by lengthy, world class farts ( author's disclaimer; I did warn you! ) The body pain comes and goes but needs constant damage control to ascertain if the step I am about to take is achievable without pain and getting up from armchairs is increasingly difficult. Any exercise at all will usually result in several days recovery time, much of it semi comatose due to morphine and sheer boredom. I can recommend a Kindle if you don't have one yet and I am now catching up on Patrick O'Brian stories. I have a radio therapy session on Monday as the medics are convinced that a small growth on my spine is pushing against a major nerve exiting from my spine at that point plus they are going to treat part of my pelvis lesion as treating all of it will result in an over weakened bone. My regular barman is absolutely sure that tequila would be an alternative to morphine and is asking for volunteers to join him in a group test. It transpires that his surname is McMillan. I smell a rat ( or is it just a fart? )

Thank you for this Stubby. I always re-read all my posts on this thread so I can make the comparison between what I felt when first told, what I feel now and indeed what I may have done in between times to make a difference. So here is a picture of me steering TS Tenacious on a sunny painted sea last Saturday. I have been a committed small boat sailor in the past and I was completely overwhelmed at times with the sheer joy of working this vessel, settling down to a shipboard routine and feeling at peace with both the ship, by far the biggest I have ever steered, and the crew, either on the vessel anyway or day sailing like me. I felt old muscles and skills returning, pain ebbed away, increasing confidence with companionways and heavy rope pulling...…..delightful. I slept like a log the following night and the pain has relatively stayed away with minimum morphine ( the resident medic banned me from climbing the rigging due to my morphine intake ). I think I may have found an antidote...…….