lightengine

Allan included the murder hole above the portcullis. This was for pouring heated colron onto attackers.

No doubt tunelled straight under the garderobe.

It is definitely an amalgam of the Union flag and the British Railways 'arrows of indecision' emblem

I love the story of the Austrian town of F****** and how the signs get stolen by English tourists and how the shopkeepers have to reply to visitors questions, saying that "we have no F****** postcards".

An English man, a Welsh man and a black South African arrived at the hospital to see their children for the 1st time. The English man rushed in to the ward and picked up the black baby and kissed it. The South African asked him how he knew it was his. The English man replied "I dont but one of them is Welsh and I aint taking any chances". (Children of other nationalaties are available also) I'll get my jacket!

A priest was driving along a country road when he saw something white in the road in front of him. He stopped his car and got out and found it was a rabbit. As he attempted to nurse it back to health another car pulled up and the woman got out. She saw what the priest had in his hands and went to the back of her car and got a bottle out. She poured some into her cupped hand and gave it to the rabbit. The rabbit drank it down, stood up, jumped onto the road and then ran off. Halfway across the 1st field it turned and waved, it carried on into the next field and turned and waved and then carried on stopping to wave every so often. The priest asked the lady what the drink was. She replied that it was white hair restorer with a permanent wave. Jack andJill were planning their wedding. Jacks father decided to give his son some advice. "Son, before your mother and I married I took her aside one day gave her my trousers and said here you are dear try these on" Of course they were far too big for her and they wouldnt fit her. So I told her "of course they dont fit you, I wear the trousers in this house and I always will. Since then we have never had any problems in our marriage". Jack thought about the advice for several days and when Jill next visited he took off his trousers and gave them to Jill. "Here darling try these on". She tried but the big baggy trousers just looked stupid on her. "I cant possibly wear these Jack they are far too large". Jack replied "yes that is because I will wear the trousers in this house and I always will". Jill thought for a few minutes and then slipped off her knickers and giving them to Jack said "here Jack try these on". Jack pulled and strained to get the skimpy briefs over his large thighs but he couldnt get them on. "Its no use Jill I cant possibly get into these". And Jill replied "thats right Jack and if you dont change your f****** attitude, you never will".

I thought Allan was just displaying the models and they were not in situ. Perhaps I am wrong.

Allan, Two questions re the 1st and last photos of this group. What are the main buildings walls made of? And did/do you make all your windows? Cheers LE

We could start a new thread Iain. Sadistic school masters/ma'ams.

I did a year at a minor public school, (attended by a well known distributor of paper bags full of money(allegedly)) before getting thrown out also Iain. It seemed that the gym master picked on and bullied a number from each years intake. How I hope he has received his comeuppance (the paper bag distributor has already) LE

Similarly Allan, although I was a day boy. Reciting amo, amas, amat .................. I found singularly boring. However in these days when I attempt my genealogy I sometimes wish I had studied it properly, but then again, I wouldn't need it very much.LE

Sasquatch, I am glad you broached the lighthouse subject. I was wondering whether it involved an item similar to a yoghurt pot. It looks excellent as does the rest.LE

This photo taken at Havanna airport shows the luggage wrapping machine on the concourse. Fairly un pc here. Incidentalto this, I was talking with a Cuban artist who was of mixed race and his use of the 'N' word regarding races showed that such un-pcness does not exist in Cuba.

At least the artist got the rivets right. I'll get my jacket ........................

2 offerings from Belgium,where in the 1st photo they don't pussyfoot around with their 'scams'. In Liege they have found a novel way to overcome the parking problem.

One for the French speakers amongst you who may pick up on this play on words/double entendre. One of my favourites is that the French like our road sign 'Soft verges'. Maybe the word like is not the right choice!

Is this situated near the Palace of Westminster? If your local is shut and you are desperate. I saw this outside the newsagents in the summer. I thought that the placement of the 2 unrelated news items was quite funny.

I walked for miles past this sign and my mobile worked ok. Even down in deepest Devon, fire still works all year round.

Sorry Allan didnt mean to confuse, but Freebs has already explained. Regards LE

Allan, sad day for you I guess with the passing of Noel Harrison today. Cheers LE

Hi Iain Thanks for that info. Most useful. I had read earlier of your use of pencils and already have some paper covered ones to hand. Must have been a shock for someone to open up a lovely folder of colouring pencils only to find when pulling the 1st one out that it was only 1" long! Your photo looks good, I must start assembling the required ingredients. Does Plaka have any benefit over such as Halfords primer or a n other plastic primer? Cheers LE

Thanks for that Allan. Have you any suggestions for the basis for a gas holder? Is it a case of guess work on measurements of such things? Re the mix up just lately with the 'woollen gloves' I hope you are strongly seeking withdrawals of much earlier references of you to Rolf Harris in view of recent events. ( I am now desperately trying to find the smileys but can't). I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this lengthy thread and hope that one day your and Iain's modelling will inspire me and many others to attempt something approaching your qualities. Cheers Lightengine

Allan, When you construct something like the steelworks do you ensure that the pipework from the whatsit goes to the oojamaflip and the steam pipes from there go to the doovrey whilst the cold water feed pipes come in from the howsyerfather? Or do you join biscuit tins and aerosol cans with plumbers piping bits in a way that looks like it should probably go there and look good esthetically? Lightengine