Geevor Clayton Loco

Last Saturday I was waiting at Perranwell for a train to Falmouth, I just missed the first train back and watched it leave towards Falmouth - then half an hour later another train arrived from Truro. Usually the second train would have come from Falmouth, gone on to Truro then gone back to Falmouth, was this replacing a train that had left the branch? I can’t get my head around it

Giss on pard, nothing could survive mor’n one of ‘ey “ginsters” - be like eatin’ the burry up bleddy Poldice! Your not gowen’ to bamfoozle me that eazily boy!

Will it have a location thingy on it, so we can track and trace and cull the ginsters?

Or a pillar?

A hipster walks into a pub, the barman asks “Why the long face?”

First the moderators came for the groan button But I did not speak out Because I did not use the groan button Then the moderators came for the sexist jokes But I did not speak out Because I did not tell sexist jokes Then the moderators came for the racist jokes But I did not speak out Because I did not tell racist jokes Then the moderators came for the religious jokes But I did not speak out Because I did not tell religious jokes Now the moderators come for my jokes And there is no one left To speak out for me (I’m not saying racist, sexist or religious jokes are funny, it just went well with the poem)

I got my friend’s kids a jigsaw for Christmas, wasn’t that lovely? I rung him up other day to ask if they enjoyed it. ”Dunno yet, they’re still in hospital having their fingers stuck back on!”

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

Should I make a sodium joke? Na...

What do you say to a smelly nun? Time to get out of that habit.

I like this bloke's use of a bike chain. I think he's going to go places. But he'll have to walk. 'coz I stole his bike.

How do you describe a pun you thought of yourself? Home groan.

EUROPEAN PIPE SPECIFICATION EC Directive 21-95-32275-EC-666 1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. 2. All pipes must be hollow throughout the entire length of the pipe - do not use holes of a different length to the pipe. 3. The ID (internal diameter) must not exceed the the OD (outside diameter), else the hole will be on the outside. 4. All pipes must be supplied empty, so that water, steam etc can be put in at a later date. 5. All pipes over 500ft (150m) in length, should be marked with the words "LONG PIPE" for ease of identification. 6. All pipes over 2 miles (3.20km) long must also be marked with "LONG PIPE" halfway along so the contractor does not have to walk the full length of the pipe to establish whether or not it is a long pipe. 7. All pipes over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have "LARGE PIPE" clearly written on it so the contractor does not mistake it for a small pipe. 8. All pipes must be specified under one of the following categories to prevent accidents: a) A LEVEL pipe b) An UPHILL pipe c) A DOWNHILL pipe This is to prevent water placed in an incorrect pipe from flowing the wrong way on a slope. 9. There are a large number of so called pipes on the market under the 3mm length threshold. These are classified as "WASHERS", and should be used accordingly. 10a. The joints between pipes carrying water, must be water tight. Those pipes carrying air need only be air tight. 10b. Directional joints should be classed as "LEFTHAND" "RIGHTHAND" "UP" or "DOWN" and clearly labelled as such to prevent the contractor from inadvertently laying the pipes so that they are going the wrong way.

I had two dates and pretended to guard one of them. It was the date-a protection act.

INSTRUCTIONS ON FALLING DOWN STAIRS Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 5 Step 9 Step 15 Step 22 Step 35 Floor