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Purley Oaks

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Purley Oaks last won the day on June 25 2018

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  1. Coombe Barton

    Mal will be missed. But he will always be spoken of with affection and respect.

    John 

    1. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      Sorry to hear of Mal's passing but glad that it was so peaceful for him at the end

  2. Purley Oaks

    Hello, Mal's wife Gabe here.

     

    Really very sorry for being the bearer of the worst news, but Mal died on Monday 18 March at 9.40pm. His children Cat, Fin and I and his best friend (my brother Vic) were all with him, here at our new home in Ancrum Bank. It was so very tranquil. So tranquil in fact that it took me and Fin ten minutes to be absolutely sure Mal really wasn't breathing, he looked so serene and calm. But he was definitely ready to go.  All medical and caring staff said how content he looked, wrapped comfortably in all the warm wishes of all those who loved him, from both near and far.

     

    A celebration of his life will be held at Mortonhall Crematorium, Edinburgh on

    Thursday 28 March at 12 noon to which all are warmly invited.

     

    I've been working hard all week getting his funeral arrangements sorted and his celebrant, Onie Tibbitt, is keen to get close friends to share the funny things he said or did that exemplified the kind of man he was. You guys were a massive part of his life. He was very close to you. Many is the time he would leave your forum with a moist eye telling me some sad news, or, much more often, with a chuckle. Sadly, you are the guys with whom I have least connection as I have never met or spoken, or indeed communicated in any meaningful way with any of you apart from the briefest of updates while Mal was in Basingstoke after his major op in February last year.

     

    You guys may have been a facet of his life which was an entire mystery to me but now it is time to unveil the mystery. It is clear, as Onie and I have pored over Mal's lifetime, that the theme of Railways surfaces time and time again as a major focus in his life. Apart from your friendships, I would love to receive sentence or two from you guys explaining the significance of trains in general and RM in particular to Mal.

    It is one of my biggest regrets that Mal never achieved his long-held ambition to set up his own model railway here in our new home. Who knows, in the fullness of time, I may even pick up that challenge, but don't hold your breath or you may turn blue and keel over and I've had more than enough of that thank you. 

     

    If any of you would like to contribute your thoughts, Onie is happy to get in touch with you for a chat, or you could email her anecdotes of funny things he said, or things he did which seemed to exemplify his character, before 5pm Monday 25th March so she can start compiling a tribute in good time. Onie's email address is celebrant@onietibbit.com, so feel free to email her direct, or if you would rather chat, let her know and she can arrange a convenient time.

     

    And in case you don't know it already, our new address is 1 Ancrum Bank, Dalkeith, Midlothian, EH22 3AY, tel 0131 660 1609. My mobile is 07563557310. I’ll be shutting Malcolm’s email and phone contracts down at some point, so remember to delete him from your contacts list, but feel free to please add me if you wish ;-) 

     

    I know you will understand that I have my hands full. So please don't be overly concerned if I don't acknowledge any replies on the forum for a couple of days. Once I can stop juggling balls while unicycling, and once things start to feel a bit more settled, if it is not too presumptuous, I look forward to logging in and maybe getting to know you guys a wee bit.

     

    Gabe

     

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. Purley Oaks

      Purley Oaks

      Hello lovely ERs, 

       

      The outpouring of your good wishes is really overwhelming. Thanks so much. It means a lot to me and my family. Yeah. He was a great guy wasn't he?

       

      I thought you might like to know that a live webcast of Malcolm’s service can be viewed online at www.obitus.com on Thursday 28 March 2019 at 12 noon.

       

      You will need to enter the username: mortonhall6265 and password 051456

       

      The same log in details can be used to access the webcast after the service from Tuesday 2 April for a further 28 days.

       

      It seems clear from the amount of glasses being raised that, no matter how distant you are, many of you will be at tomorrow's service in spirit, but this way, you can get more of a flavour of the event. Be sure and raise a glass afterwards, it's what Malcolm would have wanted ;-)

       

      Cheers

      Gabe 

       

    3. Barry O

      Barry O

      Gabe

      Can you check that You have my email address please?

       

      I am away but will "tune in"

       

      Baz

    4. Purley Oaks

      Purley Oaks

      Hi Baz

       

      So sorry for not having been in touch. I have been having some technology glitches and I think my days on this forum may be numbered :-(

       

      No, I'm afraid I don't have your email address, but I would be keen to have it please, especially as I am struggling with communicating on the forum. I'm happy for you to forward my email (gabe@holyroodholistic.com) on to trusted, decent people who won't give me any grief, and who you know would like to keep in touch.

       

      I look forward to communicating in a medium I know I can trust (i.e. I'm never too sure if my messages are getting through on the forum and I find it hard to access any replies)

       

      Cheers

      Gabe 

       

  3. Purley Oaks
    Mmmm, just love that Ricky jangle...! Turn up the dirty treble
  4. Purley Oaks
    Hi everyone Unable to log on from the hospice for a while, apologies. Arrived home this afternoon, which is a wonderful place to be. And it's our new home! Gabe managed the move with help from many wonderful friends and family last Friday. Course nothing was signed until the previous Monday - the clown holding it up for our buyers was an architect moaning about a fifty-quid lavatory extractor fan. FF and S. Not only that she dealt with all of the other extraneous stuff that goes with moving house too (apart from Virgin who insisted I call from the hospice!) so I figure that qualifies her for dealing with anything anywhere on the planet; she is truly awesome (not that I'm totally indispensable, of course). Back later when I've recovered from the excitement! Mal
  5. Purley Oaks
    Thinking of you, Geoff, you've been through a tough one. My hospice bed had air mattresses pumping 24/7 to stop pressure sores so I'm sorry to read that a possibly preventable condition has happened. Sounds like you've reached your BMI weight, though! Very best wishes to you, hope you're up and running a wee bit more now, a fortnight on. Mal
  6. Purley Oaks
    Just checking in to say that Gabe's about to give me a jacuzzi bath in the hospice - never knew they had one, but it should be a whole lot better than a bed bath. It's quite an amazing place here, very calm and restful but also cheerful. Speaking of which, one of the indignities is suppositories which I've decided to rename Deep Joy (thanks to Stanley Unwin). The jacuzzi bath is fantastic, just out and resting on the bed now. Things still surreal, feeling like an actor speaking some of these words, still shocked but with a quiet acceptance and getting on with quality things apart from the admin! RMWeb is a great place to be - sure I've done no modelling whatsoever since I've been here, but I have bought a lot of stuff for the layout in my new house, so there'll be some auction bargains somewhere sometime. Will pop in again soon. My real life name is Malcolm Stewart, btw. Take it easy Mal
  7. Purley Oaks
    Hi everyone Time to pop in now that I have a laptop. I was moved to a Marie Curie Hospice last Friday - a bit apprehensive at first but no need to worry, it's a fabulous relaxed place, wonderful. The plan is to get me home after the house move on 22 February. Yes, we're still going ahead with that, crazy at it seems. The new place will be much better for Gabe, a new start, a place to keep busy, and there's a great south-facing back garden which we've always wanted. Medically, the second opinion concurred with Edinburgh. The peritoneal cancer is kind of like an alien exo-skeleton squeezing the small bowel closed and too close to the stonach for them to do anything. But once over the shock I felt the best thing to do was accept the inevitable with good grace and good humour - there will be tears, too, but there's some great black humour to be had. No point in getting angry about it which would achieve nothing. There's a helluva lot of admin to be done beforehand, anyway! But it is a flippin' nuisance (please use another word starting with f, I did with my mum today and she agreed!) Thanks for everyone's PMs and other thoughts here, makes a difference. We'll keep you updated. Sun's out here, days are getting longer so spring's on the way, which is all great. Meantime, take care Mal
  8. Purley Oaks
    Thank you all so much for your supportive comments and PMs. It means a lot. Still in shock about the whole thing - it's very surreal, as though I'm a writer writing this stuff. Think I may try for a second opinion, or at least ask if they can put a camera on a tube into my stomach and find out about the blockage from the inside rather than the scan. The plan appears to be that I return home sometime next week to be delivered palliative care by the district nursing team. As I'm unable to process food, the sentence is to be starved to death - which I don't consider particularly humane. Goodness know how agitated (and emaciated) I'll be in a few weeks. So I wonder about the main blockage... Meantime
  9. Purley Oaks
    Promised I'd post. Since November I'd been having stomach problems, sickness once a week, which gradually became daily by last week. Oncologist admitted me to the Western General in Edinburgh which is where I've been for the last week. I expected them to be able to treat it and I'd be OK in no time. The problem is the peritoneal cancer which has blocked my small bowel just below my stomach along with a few minor blockages further below. Saw my oncologist yesterday along with some surgeons. They're unable to operate (but surely there must be something else? I asked) and my body is unable to process food, and you need food to live. So I'm on IV fluids and that's it. I've been given a few weeks, possibly not that. As you can tell the family is devastated by the news because I look well and feel great. It's just this b*gger of a thing called cancer. I'm not looking forward to the last part - organ failure - and think we treat our pets more humanely than we do ourselves. I could do with a gentle send-off into the long good night, It would save the NHS money and would save the family a lot of needless unhappiness, and would save me a lot of worry. The palliative team is coming today to see if they can get me home. I have quite a few railway items that my family won't want and would love it if someone would offer to help dispose of them, or give advice on the disposing. Will try and post again Mal
  10. Purley Oaks
    Hi bit of a weird post. Been in hospital since last Thursday with bowel obstruction hoping for something from oncologist and surgeons later today. Will post more on Jock's thread later, map
  11. Purley Oaks
    I was prescribed co-codomol for sciatica around 20 years ago. After 3 days I felt all at sea (the room was going up and down) so stopped it. I'm never good with opiods, though. When I was in hospital last February they prescribed Fentanyl for pain relief which sent the walls crawling in my head. Yes it's 3am and yes I'm up, sleep elusive just now! Mal
  12. Purley Oaks
    Thanks, Andrew, that's great! Mal
  13. Purley Oaks
    Good morning all Red on the horizon here at 0745, looks dry, no idea about the temperature. Switched on the radio but first thing I heard was B, so switched to hear Zoe Ball and pleasantly surprised by and large. Better than the previous occupant, imho, who is off counting an extra 250,000 pound coins or so. Quite an exciting week, really, what with the B (achmann) announcement and the other B tomorrow. We're planning to visit Amsterdam for 5 days in June - we're Amsterdam virgins - would really appreciate hearing from any Amsterdam-experienced ERs re tips for hotels, places to stay, or indeed visit, apart from the Rijksmuseum, Van Gogh, and canal trips. We're not interested in the red light district, nor "coffee" shops. All advice welcome. Please PM. Thanks! Hope your Monday goes well Mal
  14. Purley Oaks
    Afternoon all Glad to hear the good news, Brian! We periodically trawl through my mum's cupboards - she doesn't really like it most of the time, but it's good to get rid of stuff that's 5 or 10 years' old. Even the stuff with Best Before dates can taste stale after a while. Last week her carer found a small tin of Heinz Baked Beans a couple of years out of date; it wasn't dented, but the contents were mingin', so it was chucked away. Common sense is the main thing, as you say, but the dates do give us an indication of whether to take a little extra care, especially with older people whose immune systems may not be as good as ours. Looking forward to Ski Sunday for the first time in almost a year! Have a good Sunday evening Mal
  15. Purley Oaks
    Walk? We 'ad to crawl on our bleeding hands and scabby knees...
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