Easterner

The All-Purpose Joke: A ghost, a white horse, a bloke with a giraffe, a polar bear, another horse, a penguin, another bloke, a piece of string, a duck, another bloke with another penguin, and an elephant all walk into a bar. They all ask for a pint except the single penguin who asks the barman if he's seen his brother and the bloke with the giraffe asks for a pint for the giraffe too. The barman says, "We don't serve spirits"; "We've got a whisky named after you"; "There you go"; "??1.85"; "Why the long face?"; "What does he look like?"; "I hope you're not a piece of string"; "??2.20"; "I told you to take that penguin to the zoo"; "??5.63"; and, "We don't get many elephants in here." Some nearby peanuts say "You're looking good", but the cigarette machine says "You're a ponce." The white horse says "What; Dave?" The bloke with the giraffe says "One for me, and one for the giraffe." The Polar bear says " ... OK." The piece of string says "I'm a frayed knot." Another bloke says "What's going on here?" The duck says "You can put it on my bill." The bloke with the penguin says "I took him to the zoo and now I'm going to take him to the pictures." The elephant says "At ??5.63 a pint I'm not surprised!" The barman says, "There you go"; "Why the big paws?"; "The peanuts are complimentary"; and "The fag machine is out of order." The bloke with the giraffe gets up to leave and the giraffe collapses on the way out. The polar bear says "So I can hack through the ice in the arctic." The barman says, "You can't leave that lion there." And the first bloke says "IT'S NOT A LION; IT's A GIRAFFE!"

After that long interval, some sort of a trackplan: This obviously shows only the front curve of the layout, the return curves and fiddleyard being hidden. Although notionally on a double track line, the fiddleyard will have single line entry - see below. I wanted a double track line with main line trains, but wanted to work it as a single line for operational interest (and fiddleyard flexibility). A contradiction in terms? Not if a double line has to narrow to single to pass over a swing bridge! Sweedymen may imagine from the plan that St Olave's station has been shuffled up the line a bit to be adjacent to its bridge. The very end of the down platform makes an appearance on the layout, though it's the goods siding, dock and (fictional) up lie-by siding that are actually on stage. However, there is room to the right of the layout for an extension in the future which would give another 4 scenic feet, allowing the station buildings and level crossing beyond to be modelled. At the present rate of progress that will be in about 2020! The sidings will lie on an embankment, with a grey Norfolk sky beyond. The other main feature, of course, is the bridge (and the muddy creek it crosses). Although the trackplan is based on St Olave's I may use the (old) Beccles bridge as the prototype here - it looks more picturesque and will probably be easier to build. I suspect matchsticks will be the material of choice for much of the bridge. If anyone has a non-copyright picture I'd be glad of one to post. Now all I have to do is get on with it.

Well, it is in a parsonage study, anyway. This space over the fireplace and the photocopier seemed inviting, so I filled it with some benchwork: The space is 116" wide, and the layout is 25" deep at the two ends, about 13" in the middle. This view gives an indication of the shape: (Apologies for the picture quality, by the way. My camera is on the blink, and these are taken on my 'phone. I hope to get the camera sorted and have clearer pictures as this progresses.) There are two boards, which clip together in the middle, and which simply rest on battens on either side and on the mantelpiece in the middle, so the whole thing will be removable, and could be used elsewhere. Construction is a pretty heathen mixture of 2x1 and MDF, but I used the same for my last layout (ages ago now) and didn't have any problems. Here are the two ends of the layout: It will be in N gauge, roundy-roundy, and you can see in the pictures the trackbed for the curve round to the rear fiddleyard. The curves will be hidden, too (with a minumum 2nd radius curve for good running) and viewing and operating will be from the front. I'll have to have a mirror setup for seeing into the fiddle yard once the backscene is in place... that's something to think about. Next jobs are to get the backscene structure in place and to paint and stain the timber. Then some actual railway might appear. As to what I'm going to put in that scenic gap, watch this space...

Like the rest of you, I'm trying to get the hang of this new format. I've had a few days not posting at all to watch how it all works, and I thought what better time to turn over a new leaf and become a bit less of an armchair modeller, a bit more of the productive kind. So I've resisted posting until now; this is my first contribution to the new forum, and the big news is that it contains some actual modelling! Here we go...