Modelling mojo and state of mind

[woodenhead]

This is most of my N Gauge collection, I've already sold some of it, more is up for sale at the moment and not in the picture.

 

I am stuck what to do with what is left - on the one hand I don't realistically think i will build another N gauge layout as I am more than happy with my OO stock  which itself has been culled very recently when I realised I had gone off 'collecting' again.  In my head I have another N gauge layout in mind but I really don't see me unpacking all those boxes and looking at the stock I have there is enough for a northwest England BR Blue layout, a Southwest BR end of steam layout or a GW/LM Welsh railway.

 

It's all been used in the past, I have had enjoyment from it and also stress i found it difficult modelling in N and because I've always had too much stock so most of it was just sitting around, this stuff is still just sitting around but now in boxes without a layout.

 

I'm not about to have two layouts, I am not a prolific modeller (just a spender) and I am not about to sell the remaining OO but despite everything in my head screaming sell the N gauge, I can't let it go.

 

What is the point of keeping hold of something that isn't going to see the light of day and why can't I just let go and move on.

Edited April 14, 2018 by woodenhead

[96701]

This is most of my N Gauge collection, I've already sold some of it, more is up for sale at the moment and not in the picture.

 

I am stuck what to do with what is left - on the one hand I don't realistically think i will build another N gauge layout as I am more than happy with my OO stock  which itself has been culled very recently when I realised I had gone off 'collecting' again.  In my head I have another N gauge layout in mind but I really don't see me unpacking all those boxes and looking at the stock I have there is enough for a northwest England BR Blue layout, a Southwest BR end of steam layout or a GW/LM Welsh railway.

 

It's all been used in the past, I have had enjoyment from it and also stress i found it difficult modelling in N and because I've always had too much stock so most of it was just sitting around, this stuff is still just sitting around but now in boxes without a layout.

 

I'm not about to have two layouts, I am not a prolific modeller (just a spender) and I am not about to sell the remaining OO but despite everything in my head screaming sell the N gauge, I can't let it go.

 

What is the point of keeping hold of something that isn't going to see the light of day and why can't I just let go and move on.

8E13195A-6C34-4756-9178-8D426DFE5B75.jpeg

I'm very lucky in that respect, I have no reason to hang onto stuff that I'm not going to use, even to the extent of getting rid of a box full of stuff from my youth at a car boot sale for forty quid just to get shot of it. Mrs 96701 said that she thought it was worth more than that, but if I had decided not to sell it, I'd still have a big box of useless stuff taking up space.

[Northmoor]

I'm very lucky in that respect, I have no reason to hang onto stuff that I'm not going to use, even to the extent of getting rid of a box full of stuff from my youth at a car boot sale for forty quid just to get shot of it. Mrs 96701 said that she thought it was worth more than that, but if I had decided not to sell it, I'd still have a big box of useless stuff taking up space.

I sympathise with others who have collected too much; I also have far too much stuff filling the loft and garage, as I am frequently reminded by my wife.  I do a car boot sale at least twice a year, clear out plenty to charity shops but it never seems to make much difference.  Even when I decide to sell things myself, it is often difficult to know where to start or what to get rid of next.

 

Particularly when it comes to disposing of model railway items from the loft (but it can apply to anything), priority goes to items which are one or more of the following: Heavy, Bulky or Valuable. If it is none of those, there's no hurry to get rid of it.

[woodenhead]

Well I tried to add another loco to my sales list and failed. Looks like I am stuck with what I have, boxes back on the shelf and N Gauge lives to fight another day in the Woodenhead household.

 

I guess it's pretty important to me, probably because it's what my dad has always modelled, I was the 00 renegade when I was growing up.

[tomparryharry]

Black Dog comes & goes here. I'm hoping that the onset of sunny weather will chase him away. I have however, managed to stow away all of my train stuff, so at least it's retrievable.

 

One thing that has happened, is to stop collecting/buying 'new' arrivals. If the loco wasn't in the shed allocation, then I can't have it. So, no Kings, 47xx etc despite how much I'd like it. It does help to keep me focussed on completing what I already have.

 

I have a house to finish restoring, with a firm promise to myself to start on the railway room. That 'should' provide me with some impetus.

 

Of course, anything could change in the next sentence...

 

Cheers,

 

Ian.

[The Johnster]

Same thing here, tp; Cwmdimbath's loco would have come from Tondu, exclusively, and if the type was not allocated there, I can't have it, simple as.  The locos do not have to all be Tondu's actual prototypical residents, as I reckon it is reasonably to assume about another 5 or 6, about a 10th of the allocation, would have been transferred there to work the Cwmdimbath branch which never really existed outside my bedroom, but the majority need to actual Tondu locos from the RailUK site or known photographic sources.

 

I have 6 working locos at the moment, of which only 2 are actual Tondu residents; more renumbering is in the pipeline.  2761 is a Hornby 2721 pannier that was at the shed in 1948 until withdrawal 31/3/50; a photo of it shortly after on the reception road at Swindon works shows it in black G W R initials 'grotesque' Caerphilly Works austerity livery, which it carries on the layout.  5756, renumbered Baccy, is the other one.  6422, 6604 (previously replated for another layout), 4287, and 4585 are not correct, and my feeling at the moment is that 6604 can be the transferee as it already has etched plates, leaving 3 locos to be replated; come on, Johnster, it's not expensive and not hard!  Plus the 94xx when it turns up, unless of course Baccy do me a favour like H did with 2761 (which, of course, also needs proper etched numberrplates).  The 94xx, and possibly a Dapol prairie to replace my defunct Airfix, are the only new types I will need to buy, and I can make a case for an 8750.  Tondu also had 3100 and 3x 44xx for the Porthcawl traffic, and I may have a go at kitbashing the 31xx at some time as I like the engine, the biggest looking prairie and very businesslike, but this would be a very long way into the future!

 

This is one of those smaller, not very hard, jobs, that can be undertaken when black dog demands something quick, easy, and satisfying and prevents more involved modelling.  The hardest part will be ordering online, which again sometimes needs me to be in a particular sort of head place; I have very little faith in online ordering although my experience is that it works fine!

Edited April 18, 2018 by The Johnster

[Bill_J]

Last night, I actually got around to fixing a piece of track to a cake board - for my cake box challenge entry. The first modelling that I've done for more than two years, apart from building the Lego Holiday train my best friend (swmbo) gave me for Christmas ( I still have to install the remote control system). 

 

Now I'm concerned that, having started this small project, I will fail to finish it, something that I have tended towards for a very long time. Failing to finish anything that is.

 

I suffer much from over ambition, with even the smallest of projects, whether they are railway modelling, crafting, art-works or DIY projects. I even started a blog a couple of years ago, which has seen no entries for eighteen months or so...

 

I get a lot of vicarious support from the time I spend on RMWEB. So thank you everyone, because when I read of the various struggles with missing mojo, knowing that I'm not alone, gives me much encouragement to persevere.

 

Thank you all, may you all find a glimmer of light here, as I have.

 

Regards

 

Billj

[irishmail]

Last night, I actually got around to fixing a piece of track to a cake board - for my cake box challenge entry. The first modelling that I've done for more than two years, apart from building the Lego Holiday train my best friend (swmbo) gave me for Christmas ( I still have to install the remote control system). 

 

Now I'm concerned that, having started this small project, I will fail to finish it, something that I have tended towards for a very long time. Failing to finish anything that is.

 

I suffer much from over ambition, with even the smallest of projects, whether they are railway modelling, crafting, art-works or DIY projects. I even started a blog a couple of years ago, which has seen no entries for eighteen months or so...

 

I get a lot of vicarious support from the time I spend on RMWEB. So thank you everyone, because when I read of the various struggles with missing mojo, knowing that I'm not alone, gives me much encouragement to persevere.

 

Thank you all, may you all find a glimmer of light here, as I have.

 

Regards

 

Billj

 "I suffer much from over ambition, with even the smallest of projects, whether they are railway modelling, crafting, art-works or DIY projects"

 

I have to admit that I do also have the same problem.  But as you say Billj,   at least we are not alone with this.  

 

Regards

 

John

[Northmoor]

 "I suffer much from over ambition, with even the smallest of projects, whether they are railway modelling, crafting, art-works or DIY projects"

 

I have to admit that I do also have the same problem.  But as you say Billj,   at least we are not alone with this.  

I spend far too much time on this forum instead of actually modelling, but it is great therapy.  

 

I suspect confidence is much less common that we think.  I came to a conclusion a while ago that in the workplace:

- about 5% of people were genuinely self-confident,

- about 5% suffered from a crippling, public lack of self-confidence,

- the other 90% are, to a greater or lesser extent, acting confident every day of their lives.

[Norm81]

Well, I'm not getting any modelling done but having to respond to the daily works requests in my position as "Chief Civil Engineer - Wooden Railway Division", trains are trains, right?

[Tricky]

Well, I'm not getting any modelling done but having to respond to the daily works requests in my position as "Chief Civil Engineer - Wooden Railway Division", trains are trains, right?

Absolutely! Start them young...

[The Johnster]

This is the place to mention that I have been getting a very large amount of support and understanding of my current bout of black dog from contributors to RHY's Mutton thread over on layout topics.  There are some very kind and good hearted people on this website!

[E3109]

Black Dog comes & goes here. I'm hoping that the onset of sunny weather will chase him away. I have however, managed to stow away all of my train stuff, so at least it's retrievable.

 

One thing that has happened, is to stop collecting/buying 'new' arrivals. If the loco wasn't in the shed allocation, then I can't have it. So, no Kings, 47xx etc despite how much I'd like it. It does help to keep me focussed on completing what I already have.

 

I have a house to finish restoring, with a firm promise to myself to start on the railway room. That 'should' provide me with some impetus.

 

Of course, anything could change in the next sentence...

 

Cheers,

 

Ian.

The paradox is, when the weather improves, the mojo tends to wane as there are other things that tend to be more appealing.

[Tricky]

That’s good to hear. Ref The Johnster’s post 237...!

Edited April 22, 2018 by Tricky

[Edge]

If’black dog’ is referring to what I think it is (Winston Churchill? Please let me know if I’m grabbing the wrong end of the stick here) then I suffer quite paralysing bouts of it from time to time.

 

One of the things I do the get myself out of it is to force myself to pick up a model (usually games workshop but quite often a model train of some kind) and do something with it. Once it’s finished, I have achieved something. And a small victory like that is often times the building block to getting better again.

 

So while the common view to outsiders is that I may be a few sandwiches short of a picnic for enjoying this hobby, it helps to keep me away from the people with the soft food and soft rooms

[E3109]

Depends really Tricky, I mean don't get me wrong I enjoy nipping down the local as much as the next man during summer days, just to observe the blart knocking about if nowt else.

 

But I've been absolutely RA on my current modelling project this year (Reddish TMD) and I can predict with some confidence that I'll be dismissing the pub environment to an extent, in order to get stuck in.

 

As much as I love railway modelling, I've never really had such passion for a single project before.

Why? Dunno. But I suspect the fact that 40s, 25s (hmmm) 47s and of course 76ers were a constant there, has gone some way towards me seeing this model through.

[The Johnster]

If’black dog’ is referring to what I think it is (Winston Churchill? Please let me know if I’m grabbing the wrong end of the stick here) then I suffer quite paralysing bouts of it from time to time.

 

One of the things I do the get myself out of it is to force myself to pick up a model (usually games workshop but quite often a model train of some kind) and do something with it. Once it’s finished, I have achieved something. And a small victory like that is often times the building block to getting better again.

 

So while the common view to outsiders is that I may be a few sandwiches short of a picnic for enjoying this hobby, it helps to keep me away from the people with the soft food and soft rooms

 

 

You are holding the correct end of the elongated piece of wood, Edge; Winston Churchill is not a great hero in South Wales, especially Tonypandy from whence a good part of my family hails, but his command of language and imagery (he invented the term 'Iron Curtain' as well) was peerless.  Black Dog, skulking and prowling, always there in the background, an ever present oppression and, on occasion, absolutely overwhelming in it's ability to cripple and paralyse, is a superb personification of the beastly thing.

 

I have bouts, by which I mean that in my case the depression is ever present and my ability to cope with it varies, even with the aid of medication.  It never leaves me alone and I am never truly happy; don't think I ever have been come to think of it.  The railway in the bedroom is very effective distraction therapy, and a very positive influence enhanced by it's instant accessibility, but sometimes things are so bad that even this does not pull me out of it.  You seem to be able to do it by forcing yourself to model as distraction therapy, and I do this as well, in the form of either an operating session or completing a realistically 'completable in an evening' task that I can regard as an achievement.  But there are times when even this is not enough to pull me out of the pit; I have been in this game long enough to be able to console myself that it will, eventually, pass, put my head down and pull the blankets up, and ride it out.

 

PM me if you need to talk to someone about it.  Sometimes it is hard to access anyone who has the experience to understand the problem, and you can feel very alone.  You are not alone, mate, depression is one of the biggest growth industries on the planet.  There's a lot of it, and us, about...

Edited April 23, 2018 by The Johnster

[woodenhead]

Never been 100% comfortable in my own skin, I am different to most people and i sense it - can't put my finger on what exactly it is but it seems to mean I don't register in other people's thoughts - I don't make connections at a personal level.

 

Yet, here I am nearing the end of a working life that began at 16 and I am in a position of trust and authority - I am respected for my work even if personally people can just ignore me - go figure.

 

Confidence, what's that, I truly don't rate myself like other's do - perhaps my invisibility also comes from within, I don't project onto other people the necessary signals to illicit friendship.

 

Interestingly my soul mate, my wife has a similar outlook to me, maybe that's why we gel so well, we truly understand how the other feels, she has recently found Buddhism and meditation and it is turning her around.  I'm not spiritually ready for that but I can accept a lot of the aspects of attitude to life and others.

 

Suffered from the black dog when I was younger, never sought help as I didn't recognise it and no-one else suggested I get help and it took me years to realise what I had been suffering every winter ironically only after it had gone away.

 

Having accepted my lot in life I think I am more content, i would never say happy, who would be truly happy if they have very few to share it with, but it doesn't worry like it did and I get on with life and live in the now rather than an unhappy past or a trouble myself imagining possible futures.

 

Why do trains figure in my life, sometimes I really don't know as it seems to have caused me no end of ridicule as a child, caused anxiety when I try to build models and cost a fortune to sit in boxes on a shelf - but somewhere in there is some enjoyment from time to time and that is all I need I suppose.

[TT3]

yeah well, when you find all you have it is boxes of models for layouts planned in your mind and nothing else left it is hard to do something.

 

Now I look at it, no career now as was made redundant, no wife as she left and now house or anywhere else as that need to be sold and all the money will god to solicitors and no hope of getting anything back after working all this time with so little to show for it makes you a little low.

[TT3]

Would you believe, all I wanted to do was build the layout of lifetime, my N scale PRR empire in my 15 by 30 foot shed, TT3 of shillingstone and a bit of 00 in the garden and now all as to be chopped up and burnt.

 

PM me if anyone wants one of the biggest collections on TT3 and Triang.

[The Johnster]

This sounds dreadful, TT.  There is nothing I can say that will alleviate the situation; you're having a rough time and it ain't over yet.  You will have to find somewhere else to live, within your means, and you may not even at this stage be sure of what those are going to be, but you will, after a marriage break up and loss of job, be in reduced circumstances, that's for sure!  One can forgive you for feeling bitter and betrayed.

 

Advice FWIW, having been in a not dissimilar situation twice in my life (you'd have thought I'd have learned the first time, wouldn't you); try to keep a lid on the stress as much as you can, and, when you can and some of the dust has started to settle, take stock and re-invent yourself.  I know this is much easier for me to suggest than it will be for you to do, but monitor yourself; feelings, alcohol or other substance abuse/consumption, mood.  If you feel unable to cope, don't whatever you do man up and deal with it, seek help or you'll crash and burn, I assure you!  

 

The layout of a lifetime is still waiting to be built, but it might be a smaller layout.

 

Make decisions now about the models; I'd suggest deciding what you want to keep and selling the rest off, but not on eBay which will suck too much of your time and add to the stress even if you might make more out of it that way; if you are going through the divorce nightmare your ex will want her cut of whatever you make anyway.  Sell to a dealer and be done with it.  The stuff you keep, bearing in mind it's future use is likely to be in a flat rather than a house, needs to be securely packed and stored until you are a bit more settled.  Stock, obviously, but signals, buildings and accessories need to be considered as well.  Track will be a write-off, but controllers, switching, and such can be saved for future use, which will save a bit of money when you start up again.  If you are able, clean out all the lubrication from locos and re-lube when you unpack; this might be a while though hopefully not as long as my hiatus.

 

Hang on in there, buddy.  Keep in touch on here and with magazines and shows; I went off grid for nearly 30 years and found that I had to relearn a lot when I came back (Command Control is now called DCC or something, and I don't understand it).  I now have a layout I enjoy working on, operating, and living with. and a supportive partner, but the road was bumpy!

 

But there is life after marriage, and after work, and some of it isn't too bad.  I won't look like that to you at the moment, but it's true, honest guv...

Edited April 26, 2018 by The Johnster

[TT3]

Well this this is the third time and am too old for it now

 

I agree, there is, but with property prices they way they are, who knows what one will get. Also being seen as too old, too far away, makes the job thing difficult to say the least.

 

Guess building a layout is something that could of happened just for the lucky ones out there.

[Bill_J]

TT

 

Can I just say, whatever you do don't sell everything, you will regret it later. I did.

 

Keep at least, your favourites. If you haven't yet, check out the Boxfiles, Microlayouts and Dioramas section on this forum, you'll be amazed by what people are achieving with very limited space and resources. It will give you something to occupy your mind. 

 

Many of us have come to realise that we may never get to build our dream layout of a lifetime, but that doesn't mean you can't work towards it a little at a time, keep developing your existing skills, while learning new ones.

 

My ex, never really understood how I could possibly want to "play with" those "toy trains".

 

I lucked in though, and found someone that didn't need to understand why, she understands that it's a part of what makes me who I am, and she likes me for who I am. (She must be mad)...

 

You face a bit of a rough road for now, but it does eventually become smoother. One day, when you are not even looking, it will be better.

 

Take care.

 

Billd

 

edited to ad t to can'

Edited April 26, 2018 by Bill_J

[Coldgunner]

I'm at a weird place right now. Being a multi-scale modeller, I've bought my first OO scale loco in a long time, Hornby Henry! Forget the naysayers, and I feel its the end of an era to see the range on its way out, but having a bright green engine with a face among a multitude of BR/GWR/LNER/LMS/SR loco's is a breath of fresh air.

 

You know what I'm going to do tonight? As I don't have a layout, the e-z track is being put out and I'm playing trains!

[The Johnster]

Well this this is the third time and am too old for it now

 

I agree, there is, but with property prices they way they are, who knows what one will get. Also being seen as too old, too far away, makes the job thing difficult to say the least.

 

Guess building a layout is something that could of happened just for the lucky ones out there.

 

 

Well, I was only lucky enough to be able to build a layout after several decades of working towards that situation!

 

Are you a member of a club?  If so, this may at least provide an opportunity for some modelling and operation while you are without a layout.  And don't forget that stuff like building wagon kits or weathering stock can be done with very little room; all you really need is a work surface and a lamp, and as small box to keep your tools and brushes in.

 

It may be a while before you are in a stable enough situation to build anything other than the most basic layout, but something portable that can easily be moved from flat to flat while you are re-establishing yourself might be worth considering.  Early days yet and I suspect your current priority is damage limitation and recovery, but even now you can plan and draw up micro layouts and N gauge Pennsy yards when you have a quiet moment.  I spent the best part of 30 years drawing up layouts for imaginary spaces fun in itself of course, before I managed to achieve the stability that I felt I needed to build again, but I had a particularly bad run of unsuitable flats/bedsits, unstable relationships and chronic depression to contend with; hopefully you will be able to sort yourself out in less time than it took me!

 

Rebuilding your life is onerous and soul destroying, but you might benefit from considering that it is a build, a constructive and positive thing, that enables you to develop a life situation that suits you, despite the reduced circumstances.  Money is important, but not the only thing that makes your life good or bad, and the same might be said for relationships; you have a chance to ultimately rebuild your life to suit your own circumstances without having to consider others; I found this to be a very positive thing, though it didn't happen overnight.

 

Like I said, hang on in there, buddy!