Jump to content
 

Please use M,M&M only for topics that do not fit within other forum areas. All topics posted here await admin team approval to ensure they don't belong elsewhere.

Modelling mojo and state of mind


Recommended Posts

  • RMweb Gold

We have tropical fishes, which are more decor than pets, and a guinea pig, who is a constant source of fun and interest.  He's the squeeze's idea, she had them as a child in Poland and loved them so I bought her one and very quickly fell in love with it myself, a proper little character and ideal for a flat too small for a dog.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

My partner wants to get either Guinea pigs or rats. I wanted another bearded dragon. We’ve compromised and decided we are going to get a house cat. I miss having pets and mr frank is still only at my parents house. But I do miss having him around. 

 

Big James

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium

Returning from a conference in a government underground bunker yesterday I was on the EMT HST which stopped abruptly south of Leicester at Knighton just before 6pm. I had a bad feeling about it and it was duly announced that the train in front had hit a person. After about 90 minutes the train reversed wrong line to Wigston then ran back to Market Harbro where we were detrained, in due course a bus arrived for the many passengers, the bus reached Leicester and was in time to catch the 2010 EMT which had run through after the line was reopened after 2 hours.

 

EMT are sadly getting plenty of experience as there is a growing number of fatalities on the MML, Mrs Dava and I have been affected by 3 this year and they seem to occur weekly with major disruption to the core services on the London line. One naturally feels for the families affected by these [usually] fatalities and the mental or emotional state of those who decide to end it or just go walkabout on a high speed railway. Also for the train, track and emergency services who have to clean it up.

 

All the operator can do is cope and take reasonable preventive steps. Network Rail, BTP and local lineside partners need to work together to reduce trespass [especially by young people] and suicides because they are growing  and the effects of each one spread beyond the immediate tragedy.

 

Dava

  • Friendly/supportive 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

If anyone ends their own life under a train, I think it can safely be said that matters have passed the ‘cry for attention’ stage.  I have been in some pretty dark places myself, but cannot imagine the state of utter despair and desperation that such a person must be in. 

 

My sympathy to anyone suffering like this.  I know from personal experience how the driver can be affected, and my feelings go out to the man involved in this incident, and anyone else who had to deal directly with the situation.  

 

  • Agree 2
  • Friendly/supportive 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium

Reading my RCTS "Railway Observer" each month, it is amazing how many major disruptions are caused by people hit by trains.  The delays run into thousands of minutes every time.  I know Network Rail are working with the Samaritans to help address this; you may have seen the signs on your favourite overbridge or near a platform end.  They have learned a lot from London underground, who offer training to all operational staff in spotting vulnerable people and unusual behaviour.

  • Agree 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

I doubt these terrible incidents are any more common than they've alway been, sadly, but whereas in my day the incident resulted in the railway police clearing away the unpleasantness, the loco being examined, the driver offered relief and everybody getting on with their day, nowadays a crime scene is established and a full investigation carried out, with all running lines closed off behind police tape to establish a safe working area.  This takes much longer to set up and to dismantle, and the effect on services is the more pronounced and lasts much longer. 

  • Agree 3
  • Informative/Useful 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It is such a tragedy when anybody gets so low and feels so hopeless that they end up taking their own life. It is devastating for all involved. Clearly when it involves a rail accident, this extends beyond the person and their family, and also involves the driver and other staff. It is just so sad. As Northmoor said, the Samaritans are doing some excellent work and have prominent notices and helpful information around railway stations and lines.

 

We must always remember to talk and share out problems. As a sufferer of mental illness I know that this can be key to trying to move forward. We all had good days and bad days but it is important not to let things exacerbate. My heart goes out to all those directly and indirectly impacted by such tragic events. 

 

Edited by south_tyne
Spelling error - silly predictive text!
  • Like 1
  • Agree 3
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure with all heard local travel reports of delays on the line due to an "incident". Any other rail delays we are told the reason, this, we just kind of know.

 

Just the other day two railtrack workers were killed and a third, along with the train driver, must be in need of some serious pastoral support. My thoughts and prayers go out to their families.

Edited by Bill_J
Mustn't forget the driver.
  • Agree 3
  • Friendly/supportive 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I am pleased to say my mojo has somewhat returned in the last couple of weeks. I've started a new micro-layout and that has spurred me on, to be honest the first practical modelling I have done in a couple of years. I have set myself the challenge of doing 'something' each day, even if it is just 10 minutes, but importantly not beating myself up if I don't manage it. I am also trying to be objective, so when little tasks haven't gone to plan I haven't become too disheartened or down. It's sensible really, because when hints haven't worked I have always managed to recover it. It's easier said than done, especially for those of us suffering from the black dog, but I'm trying not to get too up and down and just take things slowly. 

 

I am really enjoying this little project though and I am really pleased it has got me back on the bandwagon. As many folk have said before, I have finally followed the good advice and just tried 'something', even when it is so small as this. It's amazing what positive feelings can be gained from completing seemingly insignificant tasks. It really can help self-confidence and has really helped with my anxiety over the last couple of weeks. 

 

So, what I am trying to say, in a not very eloquent manner, is if you are feeling low, maybe just try a small modelling project, it can do the world of good. After sitting on my hands, literally for years, I feel better for it. I am certainly not saying it is the answer to all my  problems. There will continue to be low days but if trying something creative can help in a little way then that can only be of benefit to my mental state.  

 

Anyway, keep on sharing folks, and maybe try 'something' if you are having a rough time.

Edited by south_tyne
Clarification
  • Like 4
  • Friendly/supportive 11
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

I’m having a bit of a downer this week, and the weather is failing to cheer me up.  An alleged friend has turned out to be no such thing; no great or lasting harm has been done but it’s dented my confidence a good bit and re-awakened my trust issues, not that they were that deeply asleep in the first place...

 

This too will pass, I know, but in the meantime I’ll have to cope with it the best I can, not easy when you’ve been made to feel small and stupid.   Reading Ozymandias is some relief, arrogance and pride humbled by tiny and insignificant grains of sand. Look upon my works, ye mighty...

 

It’s an unpleasant reminder of how fragile and vulnerable I am, only able to manage the approach of The Darkness when everything is going my way and folding at the least problem.  

Edited by The Johnster
  • Friendly/supportive 16
Link to post
Share on other sites

On 10/07/2019 at 16:57, The Johnster said:

I’m having a bit of a downer this week

 

Johnster,

 

I am very sorry to hear you are having a low spell. I fully understand how something like this can trigger a relapse. Even things that can seem fairly insignificant from the outside can have a major impact on our mood and self-confidence. Although not comparable to your experience, a very minor thing yesterday, which most people wouldn't have even noticed, had a huge impact on my self-esteem. As a result I had a real setback after what had been a fairly good spell. 

 

All I can say is that this low period and those associated feelings will pass. Even as a fellow suffer of metal health issues, I would never be so condescending to glibly suggest that 'I understand'; putting it simply, each individual is different and suffers and copes in a different way. None of us can fully appreciate what is going on in someone else's head, even those that are close to us.  

 

However what I will say is just to hang in there. Try to find something that is a distraction, even if it is a minor task or interest, to offer a displacement technique. As you highlight above, reading can definitely help. It certainly works for me sometimes, although at the worst times I cannot concentrate enough to take things in as my mind is racing and the anxiety can be crippling. Another thing I do is to go out walking - I particularly like to do this early on a morning, around 5am, when the world is a more peaceful and very quiet place. By the time I get back, the world is just starting to work up but I feel as though i have already achieved something positive for the day. That really helps to clear my head, albeit often only temporarily.

 

Critically, remember to keep sharing here and keep contributing to our online community. There are great benefits to be gained from socialising, even if it is just online in this manner. Personally, it certainly helps me to realise I am not alone. My own struggles are certainly not unique and together we can help each other climb out the other side. Hopefully you will be able to find some comfort or support here. 

 

Hang in there Johnster, it will get better :)

  • Like 2
  • Agree 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
On 07/07/2019 at 18:09, south_tyne said:

Had a nice afternoon across at the Tanfield Railway today. Raised the spirits to sit in the sunshine and watch some industrial steam in action :)

 

 

 

20190707_150246.jpg

Don’t suppose you’ve a picture of the cab and backplate on No.2? Looks like a possible pug-bash from a Smokey Joe. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just now, john new said:

Don’t suppose you’ve a picture of the cab and backplate on No.2? Looks like a possible pug-bash from a Smokey Joe. 

 

Interesting idea! Not great but it may be of limited help? Won't be long until I am back up there, so can take some better photos next time if you need them.

 

 

 

20190707_134229.jpg

20190707_134221.jpg

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

Thank you. Interesting loco. I like the Tanfield railway and the Arch but from Dorset it can't be a regular visit! Last there in 2016. Glad your trip helped.

 

Fortunately my varnishing job on the wooden box went well yesterday, therapeutic outcome to what might have been a different outcome if there had been too many streaks and runs. On some days I find I just want to crawl away and hide (Hit me badly a fortnight or so back) yet on others I can be up for the challenge and it is all totally random.

Edited by john new
  • Friendly/supportive 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

The last month or so, I've been trying to push aside the darkness. I mentioned a few weeks ago, how the company I work for presented me with a loco as a thank you for fifteen years of service, in various roles. So I decided to build myself a micro layout to run some trains on, and as a scene for photographing models as I build or acquire them.

 

Measuring 1 x .4 metres, so far I have built the baseboard. Working 20 minutes here and there, and a couple of hours at weekends. It hasn't been easy. Doubting my skills and abilities continually, I have managed to push through the early stages. There is a small sense of achievement at each stage, followed immediately by doubts on whether I can follow through with the project.

 

Health issues have continued to dog, with more than a year of poking, prodding, blood tests, ultrasound and MRI scans, gastroscopies etc. I now have a diagnosis, and with a confirmed chronic condition, find I will be on medication with periodic monitoring,  for the rest of my life. While I know that there are many other people who find themselves in a similar situation, or worse; it still gets me down. It has affected my plans for after I retire, and may restrict my ability to function in my current work role.

 

I'm sharing this, not for sympathy, but to encourage anyone else that, finding themself in a slough or struggling to find their own mojo, that it is still there, somewhere. Making models, is an excellent way to put aside negative thoughts, even if just for a little while. I found that some of the more mindless, repetitive tasks that we set ourselves in this wonderful hobby, can be quite therapeutic. And, as well as good mental exercise, re-awaken dexterity and other manual skills.

 

Regards, and wishing good mental health to all...

  • Like 4
  • Friendly/supportive 10
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

Mojo can come along in all different forms. It can also disappear in many & different circumstances.  I think the 'art' is controlling the mojo.  My modeling is on stop whilst I try to complete my home, which is a battlefield at the moment. Funnily enough, a lot of the 'battlefield' was caused by myself, so clearing away and creating some space has been theraputic.  My long-awaited railway shed has also stopped for the same reasons also.  

 

The one thing I found out is that alcohol doesn't work. In the past week, I've gotten blind drunk and made a monumental screw-up with my life. Getting sober is all right, but assessing the social damage afterwards is also very frightening.  The lifelong learning curve remains. I now know  that I'd rather spend out on a box of track, than hiding in a glass of Strongbow....

 

On a positive note, no railway models were harmed during this final escapade....

  • Friendly/supportive 10
Link to post
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Bill_J said:

I'm sharing this, not for sympathy, but to encourage anyone else that, finding themself in a slough or struggling to find their own mojo, that it is still there, somewhere. Making models, is an excellent way to put aside negative thoughts, even if just for a little while.

 

Bill,

 

I am sorry to hear that you have had a difficult time recently and hope things improve. Your post has certainly encouraged me, someone who is in a very similar position with regard to health issues. With my particular physical health issue, I am trying to take the positives - I am being treated and looked after, even if there are restrictive implications for the rest of my life. Hopefully you will be able to feel similarly in due course. 

 

You are right, making models can be a great release and therapy. I too have gone did the micro layout route and have found that competing small tasks and realising short-term goals, in short bursts, is really good for my mood and mental health. It is great for the confidence too, helping you recognise that you can do things. We don't have to give in to anxiety. 

 

If you feel it would be beneficial, please share some details or photos of your layout project. I for one would be interested to see what you're doing! :good_mini:

 

Take care,

David

  • Friendly/supportive 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, tomparryharry said:

 

 

The one thing I found out is that alcohol doesn't work. In the past week,

 

On a positive note, no railway models were harmed during this final escapade....

 

As my chronic condition has implications for liver health, getting drunk, although tempting, is a definite no-no. Also, it is only ever at best, a temporary escape, issues and problems are still there and, still need to be dealt with.

 

I do hope you find a way through your current situation. Sharing here, I have found, is nearly always a release. The support and encouragement offered freely by others, a massive help.

 

David (south_tyne)

 

Thanks for your comments, much appreciated. It was your recent posts, that encouraged me to open up a bit more about why I've been down for such a long period.

 

I have,  just this morning, started a new topic in the box-files and dioramas section on this forum.

  • Funny 1
  • Friendly/supportive 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Bill_J said:

David (south_tyne)

 

Thanks for your comments, much appreciated. It was your recent posts, that encouraged me to open up a bit more about why I've been down for such a long period.

 

I have,  just this morning, started a new topic in the box-files and dioramas section on this forum.

 

I am pleased if my comments have helped, even if only in a very small way. It is a cliche, but it definitely is good to share if we feel we can. If you said to me 12 months ago that I would write so starkly in a public environment, on a model railway forum at that, I would have thought it was April Fool's Day. However, my recent experiences have done more to convince me that we shouldn't be embarrassed, we shouldn't bottle things up and we should be open to talking. I actually find the process quite theraputic. I find that just as much (if not more so) with he written word as I do verbally. I also find the support and encouragement offered here, from folk I have never met and am probably unlikely to do so, of great help.

 

There are so many who suffer but always know you are not alone Bill. 

 

I am really pleased that you have started a layout topic. I will swing by there for a peruse! 

 

Take care,

David 

 

  • Thanks 1
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve been reading this thread for a while and I have finally decided to take the plunge about how I am at the moment. For a while I have been feeling a bit low, this coincides with, but not entirely due to, a move to the North East so my better half can be with her family after been away for around 30 years. 

 

A bit of background, I am in a well paid job that gives me the freedom to do what I want, in the way I want, as longs as targets get met and the client(s) are happy, and they are usually more than happy. My job can be based anywhere in the country, as long as I have an internet connection and a mobile nearby, hence the move to the North East. I am in London usually once a week, along with frequent trips to Manchester, Birmingham & Reading, all completed on the train, so my only commute is to Durham station and back. The travel really doesn’t phase me, I enjoy being sat on a train taking in inspiration for my modelling. It is a job I really enjoy, I am good at and is my escape, along with modelling, from the black dog.

 

My problems come from the in-laws. My wife had a small disagreement with one of her sisters nearly a year ago, the outcome being that her other 2 sisters took the others side, without discussing my wife’s point of view, and so a truly biased relationship seems to be the norm. So without going into too much detail, we both wish we hadn’t moved from the North West to the North East, but C’est la vie, I’m not really in the best position with 4 years to retirement to move again. The reason we came up here seems to have gone and this is what is making both my wife & I have really poor mental health.

 

So to my main release, my modelling, I’m on version 3 of Didantet, (Diane, Daniel & Collette (Tet) – Wife & kids), but it has taken 10 months to get where I am today, building my interchange, totally against all the advice of proving trackwork & wiring before scenery, but I just need to concentrate on something.

 

I’ll keep plodding along, smiling, disappearing into my den to add a bit more here and there and dream that one day my Interchange that has a Northern theme (LNER & Northern trains, with Go Ahead Northern buses – with one from back home) will be complete.

 

Reading other peoples issues on this thread indicate that I am not alone with my issues.

 

  • Like 1
  • Friendly/supportive 9
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

I'm feeling a little better; as I predicted, this too will pass and the person involved has apologised and accepted that his behaviour was not acceptable, and I have accepted this apology in the genuine spirit I believe it was meant; we can draw a line.  The mojo has been definitely lacking this week though, and although I've managed operating sessions I've done no modelling at all; just haven't been in the mood for it and still not, but tomorrow is another day.  I've had another issue on the go to do with claiming PIP benefit that is seriously oppressing me as well, but nothing can be done about that until I hear from DWP and I'm trying my best not to think about it for now.

 

You are never alone, Tangoman, but it feels like it sometimes.  Your problem sounds seriously intractable as the solution is in the hands of your wife and her family and out of yours.  I am not in this position, as my family is far too dysfunctional to have enough contact for rows of this sort, and I'm better off without 'em.  Your move away from them may turn out to be a blessing in time.  Family disputes of this sort are devastating and both your wife and yourself are clearly upset and suffering.  Beyond breaking contact, not easy in an internet age, the best suggestion I can come up with is to visit your GP and explain that you are (understandably!) having difficulty coping.  The rights and wrongs of the issue are completely irrelevant, the important thing is you are both suffering.  A GP may suggest medication or counselling.  Of course, you may have already done this!

 

GPs' response to these situations varies in my experience, but they are much better trained and more aware of such matters than they were even a couple of decades ago, and you will be taken seriously!  People of our generation are taught to be self reliant and to get on with things and stop moaning, but there is a point at which this becomes difficult and it's not far from the point at which it becomes impossible.  Seeking help is a strength, not a weakness; a weakness is burying your head in the sand and hoping it'll go away, something I am myself often guilty of!

Edited by The Johnster
  • Thanks 1
  • Friendly/supportive 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
2 hours ago, The Johnster said:

A GP may suggest medication or counselling.  Of course, you may have already done this!

 

GPs' response to these situations varies in my experience, but they are much better trained and more aware of such matters than they were even a couple of decades ago, and you will be taken seriously!  People of our generation are taught to be self reliant and to get on with things and stop moaning, but there is a point at which this becomes difficult and it's not far from the point at which it becomes impossible.  Seeking help is a strength, not a weakness; a weakness is burying your head in the sand and hoping it'll go away, something I am myself often guilty of!

 

The taboo surrounding depression  is not as it once was and seeking help is most definitely a sign of strength

 

Anyone of the “just walk it off” generation deserves a slap!

 

recognising a problem and seeking a solution is the first step and in my opinion a very brave one

 

I’m on the ‘happy pills’ which help to take the edge off but I found counselling a very good thing

 

Talking to friends and family can be difficult so talking to someone impartial who doesn’t know you is a really good way to get things off your chest

 

There doesn’t have to be a ‘trigger’ it can simply be a chemical imbalance so having medication is nothing to feel embarrassed about

 

Saying that my ex-wife was my trigger :lol: my new partner is very supportive, caring and understanding.....and she likes to go to preserved steam lines too

  • Friendly/supportive 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, chuffinghell said:

 

There doesn’t have to be a ‘trigger’ it can simply be a chemical imbalance so having medication is nothing to feel embarrassed about

 

Can only agree with what had been written in the last few posts. There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help, it is actually the bravest thing to. 

 

I resisted medication for a long long time and suffered in silence. However, when struck down by a severe physical illness at the end of last year I was out on pills for anxiety and depression. I must say it has taken a little while to get the right dosage but now I feel like things have levelled out. I would say I feel somewhat numb, but if that is helping me deal with all of the issues I am grappling with at the moment then I don't see it as a bad thing. Mental illness is the result of chemical imbalance and medication can help for some folk. I would rather not be on the pills in the long-term but at the moment it is what I need. 

 

Anyone reading this who is suffering, please talk and seek help. It really does help and can be the start of recovery. 

 

  • Agree 4
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...