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Modelling mojo and state of mind


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On ‎14‎/‎07‎/‎2019 at 18:54, south_tyne said:

 

Can only agree with what had been written in the last few posts. There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help, it is actually the bravest thing to. 

 

I resisted medication for a long long time and suffered in silence. However, when struck down by a severe physical illness at the end of last year I was out on pills for anxiety and depression. I must say it has taken a little while to get the right dosage but now I feel like things have levelled out. I would say I feel somewhat numb, but if that is helping me deal with all of the issues I am grappling with at the moment then I don't see it as a bad thing. Mental illness is the result of chemical imbalance and medication can help for some folk. I would rather not be on the pills in the long-term but at the moment it is what I need. 

 

Anyone reading this who is suffering, please talk and seek help. It really does help and can be the start of recovery. 

 

Well said ST. I was using Sertraline for a couple of years, a few years back, after an 'episode'. Took me almost 6 months of evil side affects to level out and they helped immensely. However, after about eighteen months I felt that I was in a better place and began my own withdrawal regime, having told my GP who is wonderful; very slowly and gradually reducing the dose as suggested by many people on Forums that were users. That took about six months as well. In the mean time I had investigated the depletion of body chemicals and minerals by my other conditions (Coeliac for one) and got the relevant supplements to counter this depletion. There is a huge amount of influence between gut health and mental health and health professionals are at last recognising this. However, I am in a position that I can afford to purchase supplements and also maybe take other alternative treatments and not everyone can do this as has been mentioned on here in the past.   Supplements tend to be natural substances whereas medication is almost always chemicals and I don't like stuffing my body with manufactured chemicals.

Along with being outside far more and having good mates on here and also meeting up in the real world, plus other mindfulness activities (yes, that Tai Chi thing again) is keeping me quite stable at the moment.

All the best to you all and be strong and seek help as it is out there.

Sincerely

Phil 

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On 14/07/2019 at 16:30, chuffinghell said:

 

The taboo surrounding depression  is not as it once was and seeking help is most definitely a sign of strength

 

Anyone of the “just walk it off” generation deserves a slap!

 

recognising a problem and seeking a solution is the first step and in my opinion a very brave one

 

I’m on the ‘happy pills’ which help to take the edge off but I found counselling a very good thing

 

Talking to friends and family can be difficult so talking to someone impartial who doesn’t know you is a really good way to get things off your chest

 

There doesn’t have to be a ‘trigger’ it can simply be a chemical imbalance so having medication is nothing to feel embarrassed about

 

Saying that my ex-wife was my trigger :lol: my new partner is very supportive, caring and understanding.....and she likes to go to preserved steam lines too

Keeper, mate. 

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14 hours ago, Mallard60022 said:

Well said ST. I was using Sertraline for a couple of years, a few years back, after an 'episode'. Took me almost 6 months of evil side affects to level out and they helped immensely. However, after about eighteen months I felt that I was in a better place and began my own withdrawal regime, having told my GP who is wonderful; very slowly and gradually reducing the dose as suggested by many people on Forums that were users. That took about six months as well. In the mean time I had investigated the depletion of body chemicals and minerals by my other conditions (Coeliac for one) and got the relevant supplements to counter this depletion. There is a huge amount of influence between gut health and mental health and health professionals are at last recognising this. However, I am in a position that I can afford to purchase supplements and also maybe take other alternative treatments and not everyone can do this as has been mentioned on here in the past.   Supplements tend to be natural substances whereas medication is almost always chemicals and I don't like stuffing my body with manufactured chemicals.

Along with being outside far more and having good mates on here and also meeting up in the real world, plus other mindfulness activities (yes, that Tai Chi thing again) is keeping me quite stable at the moment.

All the best to you all and be strong and seek help as it is out there.

Sincerely

Phil 

 

Thanks Phil. I must admit, I have similar thoughts to yourself with regard to pumping your with chemicals, but in the short-term it does appear to be the best option for me. It is sertraline that I am on too and I feel it is making a difference now that the dosage seems to be right. I would rather be taking something 'natural' but that is a longer-term priority once I have gradually reduced my medication. It's very interesting what you mention about the link between gut health and mental health; I had not heard of that interaction before. 

 

On the mindfulness issue, I have found that of great help. There are a number of times when I have been inflicted by severe panic attacks caused by anxiety but some of the mindfulness techniques have helped me to get out of them and, more recently, have very importantly helped me to stop them becoming too bad as I have recognised the early signs that one is coming on and used methods to combat it. Tai Chi is something I have always wanted to try... I think it would benefit me. I might look into it further. 

 

10 hours ago, The Johnster said:

Keeper, mate. 

 

Definitely. The support and understanding of those we love and the people closest to us is critical in overcoming depression and keeping the black dog at bay. 

 

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2 hours ago, south_tyne said:

 

Thanks Phil. I must admit, I have similar thoughts to yourself with regard to pumping your with chemicals, but in the short-term it does appear to be the best option for me. It is sertraline that I am on too and I feel it is making a difference now that the dosage seems to be right. I would rather be taking something 'natural' but that is a longer-term priority once I have gradually reduced my medication. It's very interesting what you mention about the link between gut health and mental health; I had not heard of that interaction before. 

On the mindfulness issue, I have found that of great help. There are a number of times when I have been inflicted by severe panic attacks caused by anxiety but some of the mindfulness techniques have helped me to get out of them and, more recently, have very importantly helped me to stop them becoming too bad as I have recognised the early signs that one is coming on and used methods to combat it. Tai Chi is something I have always wanted to try... I think it would benefit me. I might look into it further. 

 

Definitely. The support and understanding of those we love and the people closest to us is critical in overcoming depression and keeping the black dog at bay. 

 

Good on you ST. I went to Tai Chi when I was still having Anxiety and PA's and didn't want to go anywhere due to catastrophising stuff. I actually had quite a bit of Counselling, at cost because I am lucky to be able to afford it (or I could back then). Someone listening and reflecting is such a great situation to be in.

I did not mention it but it was a Webber that suggested TC for me and I bless him for that. I also did not mention above a local group that does 'gardening' in a lovely outdoor setting on a nature Reserve near me and my wife support Volunteers there still. I went as a 'Volunteer' and was supposedly a support version but was actually a recipient of the lovely easy going and embracing group doing stuff like beekeeping and quite a lot of reasonably physical stuff such as laying wood chipping pathways and building storage places. The Reserve was a favourite place of ours anyway.

As regards gut health, it is worth reading up on it as the condition of your gut really does control the chemistry of your body and the 'ancients' knew all about this. Modern medicine is only just catching on but fortunately my GP has a really open mind and is supportive of 'decent alternative medicine'.  Sertraline sort of helps replace depletion of certain chemicals in the body; if you check on these you can search out the alternative natural products. I find Magnesium is a good one.

If you need to OM me then feel free and all the best.

Phil

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While I wouldn't dare tell anyone what medication to take, I would suggest approaching complementary (not alternative) medicine with caution.  Rightly, many GPs will now recommend CM if the patient find it works.  Unfortunately AM attracts any number of charlatans spouting mystical nonsense. 

 

My mother, experiencing a terminal condition over about a year before her death, found nothing in conventional medicine was working and started looking elsewhere.  She contacted a woman - can't remember where she was based, but it was nowhere nearby - who having heard her symptoms over the phone but knew none of her medical history, diagnosed her as suffering a Selenium deficiency and went on to sell her a course of (presumably expensive) supplements.  I thought this diagnosis especially remarkable since Selenium is in particularly low concentrations in soil in much of Western Europe (especially the UK) and hence, in the food chain, so it's surprising we aren't all deficient.  I didn't want to argue with my Mother who had enough to deal with as it was, but it reinforced my view that this unknown person was preying on pretty desperate people by offering diagnoses that were, to be blunt, complete <expletive deleted> .

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19 hours ago, Northmoor said:

While I wouldn't dare tell anyone what medication to take, I would suggest approaching complementary (not alternative) medicine with caution.  Rightly, many GPs will now recommend CM if the patient find it works.  Unfortunately AM attracts any number of charlatans spouting mystical nonsense. 

 

My mother, experiencing a terminal condition over about a year before her death, found nothing in conventional medicine was working and started looking elsewhere.  She contacted a woman - can't remember where she was based, but it was nowhere nearby - who having heard her symptoms over the phone but knew none of her medical history, diagnosed her as suffering a Selenium deficiency and went on to sell her a course of (presumably expensive) supplements.  I thought this diagnosis especially remarkable since Selenium is in particularly low concentrations in soil in much of Western Europe (especially the UK) and hence, in the food chain, so it's surprising we aren't all deficient.  I didn't want to argue with my Mother who had enough to deal with as it was, but it reinforced my view that this unknown person was preying on pretty desperate people by offering diagnoses that were, to be blunt, complete <expletive deleted> .

 

Honestly, these phony practitioners make my blood boil. Many years ago I was working in a children's endocrinology clinic and we had this woman who didn't want to give her child the treatment we prescribed, and instead decided she wanted to have this homeopathic substance instead. Eventually the consultant talked the mother around to having both (after all, the homeopathic stuff wasn't going to harm the child), but the results had the child not been put on the prescribed medication would have been catastrophic. All because some quack knows how to sound clever when peddling sugar pills.

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Mystical nonsense makes my blood boil as well, but not all of it's practitioners are charlatans.  A good few certainly are, and are deplorable human beings, but there are some who genuinely and sincerely believe this rubbish and are thus deluded idiots rather than mendacious charlatans.  In fact, the deluded idiots are most frequently the victims of the mendacious charlatans.  

 

 

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When my wife was off with depression she found Buddhism via yoga - it's opened up all kinds of opportunities - meditation, kirtan singing, retreats and lately astrology.

 

 

She gets nearly all this for free (or a donation which she happily gives), but she does know someone who does view all these activities as a business and it makes my wife's blood boil when she is copying stuff my wife has done at a profit for herself.

 

Selling buddhist mindfulness to businesses at a profit is fine by me, but selling something that comes for free to someone in need of help is terrible.

 

I came across a site on Facebook recently, some woman in Brazil, preaching a programme for female empowerment with one to one sessions starting at £25, she was quite clearly getting a nice life from spouting the bleeding obvious to vulnerable ladies.  On the one hand people are fools to be taken in, but then the targets are already vulnerable and possibly desperate to get out of a situation and see this woman as a saviour not another user.

 

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My modelling mojo has stopped..... But, it has a very good reason. I'm just doing some plumbing at home, with new radiators, pipe circuits, and re-decoration.  Digging out tools I haven't used for 2-3 years has been highly beneficial; like meeting an old friend  you haven't seen for a while. The driveway contractors have finished, and Mrs Smith is very happy. Later on today sees a delivery of materials for 'my' shed base, so it's all systems 'go'.  

 

Writing this, I realise that the Mojo isn't stopped, just mildly displaced. That said, I need to crack on, as I want the shed to be up & running before Autumn comes around. 

 

It's a really cracking day out there; enjoy it whenever & whatever you can. After all, you deserve it!

 

Cheers,

 

Ian.

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On 23/07/2019 at 17:17, woodenhead said:

When my wife was off with depression she found Buddhism via yoga - it's opened up all kinds of opportunities - meditation, kirtan singing, retreats and lately astrology.

 

 

That's very interesting. I think there is more and more scope and need for such techniques and practices in the modern world. Life is so busy, so hectic, we spend much of our time chasing out tails and we have to take to time to stop and rest, both physically and, just as importantly, mentally. I have found mindfulness very useful and the benefits of taking time and space to try and switch off and have some quiet time cannot be underestimated. 

 

21 hours ago, tomparryharry said:

Writing this, I realise that the Mojo isn't stopped, just mildly displaced. That said, I need to crack on, as I want the shed to be up & running before Autumn comes around. 

 

 

It sounds like your mojo is well and truly burning brightly

 mate! :good_mini: Undertaking practical projects is a great way to boost our mental health and it doesn't matter at all that it isn't related tp modelling. It's great to see tasks completed, giving that sense of achievement. Hopefully this will translate to model railways in due course!

 

21 hours ago, tomparryharry said:

It's a really cracking day out there; enjoy it whenever & whatever you can. After all, you deserve it!

 

The good weather and getting out in the sunshine certainly helps my mood! The impacts of SAD are well documented and widely discussed but I know I feel so much better when the sun is shining. Whatever you are all up to today, try to enjoy the lovely weather :)

 

 

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3 hours ago, south_tyne said:

 

That's very interesting. I think there is more and more scope and need for such techniques and practices in the modern world. Life is so busy, so hectic, we spend much of our time chasing out tails and we have to take to time to stop and rest, both physically and, just as importantly, mentally. I have found mindfulness very useful and the benefits of taking time and space to try and switch off and have some quiet time cannot be underestimated. 

 

 

It sounds like your mojo is well and truly burning brightly

 mate! :good_mini: Undertaking practical projects is a great way to boost our mental health and it doesn't matter at all that it isn't related tp modelling. It's great to see tasks completed, giving that sense of achievement. Hopefully this will translate to model railways in due course!

 

 

The good weather and getting out in the sunshine certainly helps my mood! The impacts of SAD are well documented and widely discussed but I know I feel so much better when the sun is shining. Whatever you are all up to today, try to enjoy the lovely weather :)

 

 

 

 

 

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Just now, tomparryharry said:

 

Thank you. I guess I'm lucky. SAD doesn't affect me, and it never has. What does get me down, is when I do work on the house, and associated tasks. There is no euphoria, because mentally I'm covering old ground in umpteen different jobs & scenarios that I've seen over the years. Whatever you do, it has to meet the required building standard. For me, it's very often "here we go again" when I encounter a c*cked -up job, which I know 'I' will have to sort out.  What I'd like to do, is to get on with the shed. There are certain smallish civil engineering challenges that I know I'll need to undertake  to get the shed base going. When I get to that, I know it will be an euphoric moment. 

 

On a second positive note, the second pack of concrete blocks arrived today. I very deliberately had them delivered blocking the driveway. I 'had' to barrow them around to the new site, by way of a workout. That was a minor triumph for euphoria. Then, a local builder 2 doors up came along to 'have a nose' and had a look at my sketches. "That's fine" was the verdict, so another small step in the euphoria  stakes. 

 

Hot day today, so it'll be a plumbing in the cellar job. Euphoria? No,; no euphoria, I'll be satisfied if I can do my next task without finding another c*ck-up inflicted by the previous homeowner.

 

What I can say is this. If it's a nice sunny day, enjoy it. You need to reflect upon the times you've been in the sh1t, and had to work your way through. You've paid the entrance fee, so reap the ambiance. 

 

Have a great day folks, and enjoy the ice cream!

 

Ian.

 

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Am I in a good place at the moment - no.  Zero ability to focus and old habits back, I know what I need to do and i've done it before but the energy to begin is severely lacking.

 

Wife is having issues and it's bringing me down too, son #1 is moving out I am guarantor to his shared property, is this stressing me yes - the words unlimited liability fill me with dread.

 

Am I working well at the moment - no and this is worrying me as well.

 

Trains going into boxes this weekend for an unspecified length of storage, how do i feel about them - numb.

 

 

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I pop in on this thread occasionally and like to say hello to all you dear folk.

Because of my previous experience of a nervous breakdown, panic attacks, overwhelming feelings of imminent death etc I feel an affinity with most of you on here. That all started 2 1/2 years ago and I'm a lot better now - so much so that I consider myself in a 'processing' phase. This is where I'm not ill as such but still processing what happened to me, why it happened to me and what the effects still are on me. It is exactly the same as getting over any trauma - physical or mental.

However, what has prompted me to reply now, is to say that the mind is an incredibly powerful thing and above all it wants and actively seeks self preservation. This means that it will try and prevent me going into situations that I found difficult or painful before by reminding me of it. However, I am learning to recognise this and overcome this by gradually exposing myself to situations once impossible to face bit by bit, thus eroding the sub-conscious fight or flight reflex. Much more could be said on this subject but suffice to say and encourage you that quite often no bad situation you feel you're in right now is quite as bad as you think or imagine. I'm not trivialising or making light - I do know what I'm talking about. For many weeks I went through a phase of not being comfortable on the top floor of our house for fear I might jump out of the window. I still remember that feeling when I go into a certain room, but that is a MEMORY not current REALITY. For me, understanding what I'm thinking and why I'm thinking it is huge in being able to heal myself (with God's help). For what it's worth I was on Sertraline for quite a while up to quite a high dose but gradually (with my doctor's knowledge) took myself off it as I wanted to tackle this whole thing with my own clear (ish) mind, not one altered by drugs, however I must stress that is purely my own personal experience and opinion.

I have also learnt that the whole process of coping, re-learning how to think and react and facing fears is absolutely physically exhausting. Often I feel like giving up but have to actually stop myself thinking in that way. It is hard work but will pay off.

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And now I've managed to do something immensely stupid, so stupid I am not even going to write it down here suffice to say if the worst happens then I don't know what the financial consequences may be for me.  Equally absolutely nothing may happen but I have created a situation of my own making that could really bite me.

 

So I literally wanted to die before I felt such an idiot, my wife rang me earlier to ask how my day had gone and I am glad I confessed my error straight away and not let it fester longer as I was paralysed by it.

 

She's put a sensible head on and asked what are the chances of the catastrophic situation I imagine and that it's done now so we will deal with the consequences should they happen.

 

Usually that's my job to be the sensible one, but it was reassuring to hear her views on my idiotic episode and whilst I am still in a mess I am at least now coming to terms with the situation.

 

I Di Ot

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It will probably be ok in the long run, your better half has assessed the situation and classed it as within the normal range of crazy stuff that blokes do. Suggest find an opportunity to show appreciation...

 

Dava

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Unless it's a job threatening or potentially home losing situation, I'd say that there is a rational limit to the amount you can justify beating yourself up.  Listen to Mrs Woodenhead, who sounds like a sensible sort; if she hasn't abandoned ship it's probably going to be ok in the long run!

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On 24/07/2019 at 09:20, tomparryharry said:

 

It's a really cracking day out there; enjoy it whenever & whatever you can. After all, you deserve it!

 

I'm totally the opposite, too hot, too sunny, colours all bleached out by the sunlight and working all day in 30deg+ heat does nothing to improve my mojo. Give me a warm, light summer rain in the low 20s any day. Colours are more saturated, I find it very relaxing to be out and about then.

 

Be careful out there everyone, while temperatures are so high, drink plenty of fluids and take lots of breaks from the heat and sun. Stay healthy...

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Our American cousins frequently call it 'that sunshine vitamin'. I love a burst of the old sunshine stuff. In our old foundry, the building next door was a Distillers CO2 plant, so we used to pop in, and politely ask (and get) some dry ice.  We had a scrupulously clean bucket, into which we made fizzy pop.  Once decanted, it would last about 8 hours, and in a 50-60 degree heat, it was very welcome.  

 

I hit a small building snag yesterday, enough to put me on stop. However, It gave me some thinking time & space, enough to mentally plan out the (was) problem. Suffice to say, progress is mostly restored. 

 

The downsides of excessive heat exposure are well known, so as we know, keep or stay cool. I'm currently working about 3 feet below ground level, which is 'just right'. 

 

Our 2 dogs are doing OK. Mrs Smith has them sitting on the bed, with a fan playing over them. I bring them cool drinks every hour.  "I say! Boy! Bring me another cold bone from the fridge"!

 

It's Friday folks. I hope you enjoy it. Have a good & hopefully relaxing weekend.

 

Ian.

 

 

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12 hours ago, Dava said:

It will probably be ok in the long run, your better half has assessed the situation and classed it as within the normal range of crazy stuff that blokes do. Suggest find an opportunity to show appreciation...

 

Dava

 

12 hours ago, The Johnster said:

Unless it's a job threatening or potentially home losing situation, I'd say that there is a rational limit to the amount you can justify beating yourself up.  Listen to Mrs Woodenhead, who sounds like a sensible sort; if she hasn't abandoned ship it's probably going to be ok in the long run!

 

12 hours ago, Tricky said:

Woodenhead, you could always bend our ears on it - you never know, there might be someone sane enough come along to help you put it in

perspective...!!!

 

The issue involved the potential exposure of enough information for someone to steal my identity - it was just for a few seconds but enough, it was my own fault, but because I've not been thinking straight for some time I didn't do the sensible things i should have done beforehand and it led to the situation that then occurred.   I've been given assurances that the information wasn't disclosed beyond those that should see it so I should take that at face value as they had nothing to gain by disclosing anything at that moment with me close by.

 

Mrs W was very good last night and having reached rock bottom I do actually feel a lot better today, maybe it was the shock to the system yesterday has caused a bit of a reset in the brain hormones or something - I was seriously flooded with Adrenalin.

 

Work has been an issue for a few weeks now and I've logged on to work this morning and my head is still foggy but maybe not quite as much, I am looking at database tables that I have created and been using for years like they are alien to me which is quite worrying.  I don't retain information well, I have had memory problems for years and I am looking at my own code and it's all been gobbledygook to me recently.  I am hoping that maybe now I've calmed and the shock of yesterday has maybe cleared my head a little that I can begin to piece this work stuff back together.

 

Maybe what this situation has highlighted is that i am becoming fearful of other people and their motives, I've become very insular so when i am out and about i treat people as a potential threat rather then just another human being going about their day.  Paranoia is another name for this, I haven't spoke his name for a few years but I think he may be at play with me.

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Woodenhead: I have been in the same situation before and I never lost a penny but only because I kept ahead of the fraudsters which could be stressful (but it's worse if they are ahead of you).  My first advice is, if you think your main bank account may be compromised, contact your BRANCH immediately and check that no new Direct Debits or Standing Orders are set up against your name.  Ask that they refuse any new instructions unless you come into the bank IN PERSON, they should agree to this.

Secondly, your description of symptoms at work are also very familiar.  This does sound stress-related - I am not a doctor BTW - but when I got these and some physical symptoms I got a diagnosis by my GP which was a huge relief and explained everything, just from a blood test.  Mine has been attributed to just a long-term iron deficiency, which can be dealt with by daily tablets and quarterly injections.  Low iron and B12 affect memory and cause many of the same symptoms as dementia.

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32 minutes ago, Northmoor said:

Woodenhead: I have been in the same situation before and I never lost a penny but only because I kept ahead of the fraudsters which could be stressful (but it's worse if they are ahead of you).  My first advice is, if you think your main bank account may be compromised, contact your BRANCH immediately and check that no new Direct Debits or Standing Orders are set up against your name.  Ask that they refuse any new instructions unless you come into the bank IN PERSON, they should agree to this.

Secondly, your description of symptoms at work are also very familiar.  This does sound stress-related - I am not a doctor BTW - but when I got these and some physical symptoms I got a diagnosis by my GP which was a huge relief and explained everything, just from a blood test.  Mine has been attributed to just a long-term iron deficiency, which can be dealt with by daily tablets and quarterly injections.  Low iron and B12 affect memory and cause many of the same symptoms as dementia.

My bank stuff is safe and wasn't on the paperwork, it was way more personal than that.

 

I've always had memory issues, I don't remember much of my life, Mrs W is my external memory of the past 28 years or so and she reminds me of things I should remember.   I used to be very good at storing all the bad memories by keep replaying them in my head but i learnt to let go of them a couple of years back.  The way I see it, memories are just the past and we need to live in the present, because I don't know what I've forgotten it doesn't hurt me emotionally in any way.  I don't have any short term memory issues or forgetfulness so I don't think I have an underlying illness it's just how I am.

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On the modelling front, it's all going into boxes this weekend - with my son leaving home I am about to take us office residence in his bedroom and turn my existing office space into somewhere for Mrs W to read / relax.

 

My current layout is round the current office but it needs to come out and I will start over with proper baseboards some time in the future, I have the option of 00 or N so I will pick the one that gives me most happiness nearer the time.  I'm not getting any pleasure from modelling at present so I'm not going to miss it.

 

Lots of de-cluttering ahead, son #2 also needs a wardrobe removing and replacing with a something more appropriate to his needs.

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