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Modelling mojo and state of mind


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It's all too easy when you have a multitude of tasks or projects on the go to become bogged down with which one to prioritize. If you are struggling with motivation, pick the simplest one and stick at it, no matter what. It's surprising how much more rewarding that task becomes.

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Just been in my room, shuffled a few boxes about, found something broken. 
Quite surprisingly I managed to fix it. Feel a bit better but no net gain.

Spend most of my time trying to decide what I can manage but don’t actually do anything.

 

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On 02/05/2021 at 17:25, durham light infantry said:

 

Still in good order this afternoon. Complete with supervising cat, Ellie.

 

20210502_171947.jpg.ab8364a68f9ef7afbe00fe7168269a4a.jpg20210502_172005.jpg.089afece233850906b2a21ba014db3fd.jpg20210502_172056.jpg.2a202a560d649eee10ce4d427889836a.jpg

 

 

Great to see Sheep Lane playing it's part, Mike. 

 

 

Rob. 

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On 13/05/2021 at 19:46, David Bell said:

If your modelling mojo has completely deserted you my advice is,.... buy Airfix kit. Choose something you did when you were a kid, even better.

 

On 13/05/2021 at 19:46, David Bell said:

...........and remind you why you like making models.

Hmm, tried that. I still gave an unopened Folland Gnat I bought about 5 yrs ago :(

 

My main or root problem is that I feel guilty about doing things 'just for myself ' - tasks don't seem to have value or reward unless they're being done for someone else. 

 

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2 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said:

 

Hmm, tried that. I still gave an unopened Folland Gnat I bought about 5 yrs ago :(

 

Open it....................................

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33 minutes ago, 33C said:

Open it....................................

Do it...... Photo it....... post it (on here).......you have 3 days..............tick, tock........:D

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My modelling mojo has up and left me. Finally cleared my shed had a board set up and professional built by my dad. Was all psyched up ready to crack, even managed to get some track down and trains running. Then I went away for the weekend for a friends birthday. When I come back the lodgers (my partners bro and sis in law) had filled it up with all the rubbish they had hoarded over the years without clearing it with me. It was all over the railway and all my storage boxes had been shoved out the way. Then they had the cheek to moan that the railway was taking up space in their shed. 
 

When we moved in the landlord had the shed renovated and fixed up specially for my railway. So I’m not so much depressed I’m just really angry to the point it’s demotivated me. I even said to my partner that unless they sort it me and the railway will be leaving. 

sorry for the rant. I really don’t have anyone to talk to. All I get from those closest to me is they wanna come round we kick them out. But I can’t do that as it’ll alienate my partner from the only family she’s really got. 
 

Big James

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Are they truly "family" or just a couple of leeches? Does your partner not count you as family? If they are contributing to the household bills/on the lease then you have to come to an arrangement between them and the landlord as he/you may be in breach of the tenancy due to overcrowding , if not, tell them where to get off and put their "rubbish" in paid for storage and find their own place to live. Frankly, you only get one life and i do not put up with anybody trying to take the p**s, give 'em an inch etc........been there , done that, had words, living my best life!  Trust me, people DO NOT  change.

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I believe in the mantra that a layout is never finished, so if it takes me 10 years to finish my layout, so be it.  As @The Johnster says, don’t beat yourself up about it and if you only do 10 minutes on the layout, it’s 10 minutes closer to finishing.

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13 hours ago, woodenhead said:

Not touched the layout in a couple of months, locos all off track ready for me to install point motors but I cannot bring myself to begin to install them.   Each time I think about it, I end up finding something that is a complete time waste to avoid it, like today, sitting on my laptop typing this.

 

It's like the railway has turned into Kryptonite

 

Back in May, you were facing a huge assessment, and suffering from "imposter syndrome". May we know how the assessment panned out? And if you've now 'passed', have those negative feelings you were having passed?

 

I'm wondering if you have lingering doubts about your competency in your chosen career that are spilling over subconsciously into your hobby mojo? I mean, I bought second hand insulfrog points because wiring up live frog points scares the bejeezuz out of me; I will have to be in a bl@@dy good frame of mind before I ever even buy my first, let alone work out how to wire it up and motorise it!

 

Incidentally, I have a new job starting in September and part of it involves teaching singing. I have, as the musical director for over sixty full stage musicals, "taught" performers the notes to sing, and coached principals in delivering their songs from a perspective of interpretation, but I have never "taught" anyone to sing per se nor have I ever sold my services as a 'singing teacher'. Interviewing for the role, I was asked about directing choirs (done that) and setting up after school "glee clubs" (done that too) and was offered the job. Two weeks later, I learn I am going to be teaching "classical voice" (think 'opera') to a sixteen year old who is working towards her Licenciate (post graded exams, half way to degree level) and "imposter syndrome" has set in with me big style! As mentioned elsewhere, the £66 'bible' for teaching classical voice has been ordered and I will need to read, absorb and understand it all before 6 September if I am to avoid feeling like a fraud!

 

And I am on a probationary period of six months before the job is permanent - I have a feeling my modelling mojo may well be hibernating until Spring 2022!

 

Steve S

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9 minutes ago, SteveyDee68 said:

 

Back in May, you were facing a huge assessment, and suffering from "imposter syndrome". May we know how the assessment panned out? And if you've now 'passed', have those negative feelings you were having passed?

 

I'm wondering if you have lingering doubts about your competency in your chosen career that are spilling over subconsciously into your hobby mojo? I mean, I bought second hand insulfrog points because wiring up live frog points scares the bejeezuz out of me; I will have to be in a bl@@dy good frame of mind before I ever even buy my first, let alone work out how to wire it up and motorise it!

 

 

So the assessment came and went - to give you an idea of the disparity between my view of how I performed and how the assessor saw me - I thought I'd failed because I hadn't evidenced automated testing of code nor mentioned I would put it in a development plan, the assessor rated me as Exceeding - the top mark and this was across all my submitted work and the interview.

 

I felt great for a few days but I've had to come back to web development, time to face my demon asp.net core, I am used to asp.net framework, in core it is very different and I am struggling at present.  I've also a problem with handling a JSON file whose form isn't being accepted by some other code and I don't know (yet) how to code around it - there is a simple way but that is a fudge, I want to know the correct way.  And finally, there is a web extension a colleague wrote that needs attention because it is no longer working as it should.  What do all these have in common - Object Orientated Programming and I find some of the concepts in this difficult to decipher so hello impostor syndrome my old friend.  Luckily I have had the commonsense to put some of the items down and do other work so that I don't simply freeze, but I am doing all the same distractions on this that I do on the model railway - do other mundane stuff that has no value rather than face the demon.

 

The railway issue is daft I know it is, I built a new layout at the end of last year, went DCC for the first time and used a Sprog and JMRI.   After purchasing Farish 40 with the fitted speaker I added sound to my DMUs which involved soldering minute wires, all was good until I came unstuck with the Cobalt IPs - these are the all singing dancing versions.  All I need to do is screw them under the point, add a minimum two wires (to the bus) plus one soldered to the point for the frog and then flick a switch to program it.  I've tested making one work on a test jig, so it is just a case of install and repeat - but it took two months to get to trying to install one and then I picked the hardest one for the first attempt thinking, if I can do this one the rest will be a cinch - no it just wrecked my confidence such that I have not looked at the railway since.

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57 minutes ago, woodenhead said:

So the assessment came and went - to give you an idea of the disparity between my view of how I performed and how the assessor saw me

 

Well, that sounds very familiar! When I got the call, I was convinced it was to tell me that I hadn't got the job because I focussed upon all the things that I felt didn't go right in the interview.

 

I truly don't know anything about programming (other than creating formulae in Microsoft Excel, if that counts?) but I suspect that you have far more capability than you yourself believe. What is it they say about the first step of a journey being the hardest? I expect to read here (in due course) that when you bite the bullet and tackle your coding projects that you will succeed, and likewise your point motors.

 

All the best

 

Steve S

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1 hour ago, woodenhead said:

So the assessment came and went - to give you an idea of the disparity between my view of how I performed and how the assessor saw me - I thought I'd failed because I hadn't evidenced automated testing of code nor mentioned I would put it in a development plan, the assessor rated me as Exceeding - the top mark and this was across all my submitted work and the interview.

 

I felt great for a few days but I've had to come back to web development, time to face my demon asp.net core, I am used to asp.net framework, in core it is very different and I am struggling at present.  I've also a problem with handling a JSON file whose form isn't being accepted by some other code and I don't know (yet) how to code around it - there is a simple way but that is a fudge, I want to know the correct way.  And finally, there is a web extension a colleague wrote that needs attention because it is no longer working as it should.  What do all these have in common - Object Orientated Programming and I find some of the concepts in this difficult to decipher so hello impostor syndrome my old friend.  Luckily I have had the commonsense to put some of the items down and do other work so that I don't simply freeze, but I am doing all the same distractions on this that I do on the model railway - do other mundane stuff that has no value rather than face the demon.

 

The railway issue is daft I know it is, I built a new layout at the end of last year, went DCC for the first time and used a Sprog and JMRI.   After purchasing Farish 40 with the fitted speaker I added sound to my DMUs which involved soldering minute wires, all was good until I came unstuck with the Cobalt IPs - these are the all singing dancing versions.  All I need to do is screw them under the point, add a minimum two wires (to the bus) plus one soldered to the point for the frog and then flick a switch to program it.  I've tested making one work on a test jig, so it is just a case of install and repeat - but it took two months to get to trying to install one and then I picked the hardest one for the first attempt thinking, if I can do this one the rest will be a cinch - no it just wrecked my confidence such that I have not looked at the railway since.

I only understand about half the words in that post, which suggests that you do actually know what you are doing! However I do understand the sentiment. It's one I have felt many times in both work and personal life but happily not in modelling, which tends, for me, to be an oasis. The way I try to see it is that it's just a train set and unlike everything else we encounter in life it actually doesn't matter a jot if we get something wrong. I find that quite liberating. I hope you don't think this is one of those 'pull yourself together' comments because that is not the intention by any means - just a different take on it I suppose, for what it's worth !

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Ok, so banging on about my lack of confidence might have been beneficial.

 

Layout is in bits (for good reasons!!):

  • Swap out my perfect points for one's I have previously wired - be easier to do the frogs
  • Wire the frogs, remove spring and relay them
  • Remove a platform line I was never happy with
  • Re-site the troublesome point
  • Add motors
  • Fiddleyard to go back to cassettes, just need some brass strip for contacts, sure I can find some somewhere when the time comes.

I also fixed the extension problem at work, turns out the code when it was written didn't reset times only dates, so fixed now.

 

All in all a positve day, onwards and upwards.

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Managed to knacker my GoPro at the weekend and nearly knacker my DSLR to boot. Was caught in the sheet of rain that came down over Lincolnshire and my gopro didn't have the waterproof casing on. DSLR was playing up for a bit after a soaking but seems to have sorted itself thankfully.

 

The gopro was a gift so I'm a little bit sad, I might get it repaired even though its an older model (and about £300+ for a new one anyway).

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15 hours ago, 33C said:

Are they truly "family" or just a couple of leeches? Does your partner not count you as family? If they are contributing to the household bills/on the lease then you have to come to an arrangement between them and the landlord as he/you may be in breach of the tenancy due to overcrowding , if not, tell them where to get off and put their "rubbish" in paid for storage and find their own place to live. Frankly, you only get one life and i do not put up with anybody trying to take the p**s, give 'em an inch etc........been there , done that, had words, living my best life!  Trust me, people DO NOT  change.


This is very good advice by the way. People that treat you like that need to be shown very very firm boundaries and actually if possible need to be edged out of day to day life and kept slightly at arms length for your own state of mind.

They might be perfectly fine in a social setting now and again but some people have major limitations where it comes respecting other people’s space and interests.

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I find it's stupid little things that set me back.

I started to convert a couple of old Airfix churches into an upland longhouse farm and used a few of the leftovers to make an agricultural shed of undefined purpose.  I must have made and rejected five roofs for the longhouse and every failure has simply inspired me to try again. 

Over the weekend I had my first attempt weathering the corrugated iron roof of the shed.  It wasnt a success but was nothing like as big a disaster as some of the longhouse roofs.  Even so, I now find myself seriously considering giving up railway modelling (I've only been doing it for 50+ years, after all) and finding a hobby I'm good at.

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15 hours ago, Big James said:

My modelling mojo has up and left me. Finally cleared my shed had a board set up and professional built by my dad. Was all psyched up ready to crack, even managed to get some track down and trains running. Then I went away for the weekend for a friends birthday. When I come back the lodgers (my partners bro and sis in law) had filled it up with all the rubbish they had hoarded over the years without clearing it with me. It was all over the railway and all my storage boxes had been shoved out the way. Then they had the cheek to moan that the railway was taking up space in their shed. 
 

When we moved in the landlord had the shed renovated and fixed up specially for my railway. So I’m not so much depressed I’m just really angry to the point it’s demotivated me. I even said to my partner that unless they sort it me and the railway will be leaving. 

sorry for the rant. I really don’t have anyone to talk to. All I get from those closest to me is they wanna come round we kick them out. But I can’t do that as it’ll alienate my partner from the only family she’s really got. 
 

Big James

 

People move into your home (I know it's the landlord's property, but it seems you've been there some time before the in-laws) and on the first day are complaining about something YOU have done?  Even forgiving them for the stresses of moving house that is really ill-mannered. 

Obviously I don't know your family but my immediate thought is if you don't nip this in the bud straight away, it WON'T get better.  Believe us when we say this is only the start, they will complain about more and more until everything is set up to suit them and suddenly you'll feel like the lodger in their home.  Let them know exactly how you have been offended by their behaviour before they get any more comfortable.

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28 minutes ago, Northmoor said:

 

People move into your home (I know it's the landlord's property, but it seems you've been there some time before the in-laws) and on the first day are complaining about something YOU have done?  Even forgiving them for the stresses of moving house that is really ill-mannered. 

Obviously I don't know your family but my immediate thought is if you don't nip this in the bud straight away, it WON'T get better.  Believe us when we say this is only the start, they will complain about more and more until everything is set up to suit them and suddenly you'll feel like the lodger in their home.  Let them know exactly how you have been offended by their behaviour before they get any more comfortable.

Damn straight!

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30 minutes ago, Northmoor said:

 

People move into your home (I know it's the landlord's property, but it seems you've been there some time before the in-laws) and on the first day are complaining about something YOU have done?  Even forgiving them for the stresses of moving house that is really ill-mannered. 

Obviously I don't know your family but my immediate thought is if you don't nip this in the bud straight away, it WON'T get better.  Believe us when we say this is only the start, they will complain about more and more until everything is set up to suit them and suddenly you'll feel like the lodger in their home.  Let them know exactly how you have been offended by their behaviour before they get any more comfortable.


Thank you for the advice. That’s probably the most constructive I’ve received. My best friend and parents are just saying kick them out. But they are all my partner has so I can’t use the nuclear option. The next day off me and my partner have off together is Saturday. So we are going to sit them down and talk to them as a united front. We are going to lay down the ground rules for both parties and make the shed off limits to them. Plus their rubbish in the loft as to where it should be. 

Our landlord is a friend of my dads that’s why the house has been customised so much towards me and my partner. It’s also why we’ve had such a great deal for it. They wasn’t even included in the equation. But only ended up with us because they had know where else to go and my partner couldn’t make her only brother homeless. 
 

Big James

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Homeless! I was homeless once,    for 8 hours!  That's how long it took me to get an affordable place to live.  No excuse. There are people out there to help you if you can be bothered to look!

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15 hours ago, jools1959 said:

I believe in the mantra that a layout is never finished, so if it takes me 10 years to finish my layout, so be it.  As @The Johnster says, don’t beat yourself up about it and if you only do 10 minutes on the layout, it’s 10 minutes closer to finishing.

 

I sometimes volunteer back stage at the local theatre, I am not trained in several of the tasks so plod on with basics - the key thing though as is often stated is that the tasks I do have to be done therefore that frees up the trained crew therefore overall the jobs get done faster.

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My son volunteerd at our local theatre as stage hand and 3 years later was in charge of lighting and sound, learning on the job and loved it. Had to leave though because the money wasn't great. Pity. On the plus side, the artistes taught him to play classical piano to about grade 3!

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1 hour ago, Big James said:


Thank you for the advice. That’s probably the most constructive I’ve received. My best friend and parents are just saying kick them out. But they are all my partner has so I can’t use the nuclear option. The next day off me and my partner have off together is Saturday. So we are going to sit them down and talk to them as a united front. We are going to lay down the ground rules for both parties and make the shed off limits to them. Plus their rubbish in the loft as to where it should be. 

Our landlord is a friend of my dads that’s why the house has been customised so much towards me and my partner. It’s also why we’ve had such a great deal for it. They wasn’t even included in the equation. But only ended up with us because they had know where else to go and my partner couldn’t make her only brother homeless. 
 

Big James

I'd be inclined to listen to your father on this, it's his mate who let you the house, did the work to customise it.  How might this affect your father's relationship with his friend if suddenly rather than two people there are four people in the home?

 

Another question, would this landlord rent to them if they hadn't just turned up on your doorstep claiming to be homeless and can he house them?

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