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Modelling mojo and state of mind


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4 hours ago, leopardml2341 said:

I think that's sort of right, I readily do things for others because I feel it's selfish to do things for myself. So as long as someone needs me to help them, they go to the top of the list. 

Know what you mean. but the downside of this apparently laudable approach is that you think that other people are more important than you, and have low self esteem.  This is a very common thing in those of us who suffer from depression related problems, and is a self-replicating, worsening, and predicatble symptom.  You are not as important as other people, who inevitably avail themselves of your subjugative actions, which makes you feel even more of a failure, engendering the concept that you are not as important as other people, who inevtiably.... and so the long night wears on!  Stop being a gratitude whore; you will rarely get the thanks you deserve, but of course you don't think you deserve them, and you didn't do it for the thanks anyway.  What did you do it for?

 

Wanting to be helpful and useful to others is A Good Thing, but if you are depressive it can be very damaging to yourself.  Consider this; that you are actually of no use to anybody that you wish to be helpful to until you have resolved your own issues first.  As a depressive, you will tend to associate with others with similar issues, and you natural inclination is to try to help them.  BUT YOU CAN'T, until you have resolved your own issues or at least come to terms with them and attained a degree of understanding of them, you will in fact only make their problems and your own worse as you develop a co-dependent self-defeating and self-realising prophecy spiral.

 

The most important person in your life is YOU.  You might not think this is correct, but, trust me, it is!  You are more important than your partner, than your children, than your parents, or anyone, as until you have accepted that it is you who are the most important person in your life, you are actually a burdensome bringer-downer to those peoaple.  You must of course recognise that this is the same for everyone else as wel at the same time. but that doesn't matter; what matters is that you know who Number One is and that it is the person you see in the mirror.  Realising this, I mean really realising it and not just parrotting it as a feelgood mantra. that you are as entitled as anyone to your place in the world, and to respect and consideration, is the beginning of accepting yourself as a worthwhile person, and is the bedrock of a good self image and of self respect.  Thinking this way is not selfish, your character will still be helpful and useful to others, in fact more so.

 

Accepting your own prominent postion in your own existence will not solve any of your problems, not overnight anyway; self image is a thing that I have been struggling with for many years despite it, but it is a start.  There should only be one person at the top of your list, leopard, and it's feline and spotty...

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It’s really interesting reading through this thread and I’ve contributed to it a couple of times a while back.

As I said in my layout thread today, I’ve found myself in a position where I’ve pretty much finished my model railway, and in all honesty I’m not really sure what to do next? I never thought I’d actually get to this point and I need something to do (that won’t cost too much) for my own sanity. Hmm.

Got a couple of ideas and I know that I need to keep busy as just watching something on telly isn’t enough for my brain.

Reading what @The Johnster said in the last post about the most important person being ‘you’ is a fair point. It’s not a selfish way of looking at things. It’s a case that if your needs are met by you having the time to lose yourself in something purely from the point of view of finding it relaxing, you’re far more able to leave that and be present when the people in your life need you.

 

We’ve got a very large family and they still need us even though they’re all getting older, I’m definitely there for them more if I get to lose myself in what I enjoy now and again though.

Went to a little music festival with my other half this weekend and that’s really helped with relaxing us too actually. It’s always good to enjoy stuff like that together.

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On 10/08/2021 at 15:55, Rugd1022 said:

I think my modelling mojo may have just been accidentally given a kick up the Aris', simply by diving into a few threads on RWMeb - in particular newbryford's recent one on renumbering / repainting locos which I've contributed to, Bachmann's fantastic new Class 47 and the discovery that Accurascale have released a beautifully proportioned and detailed 00 gauge Deltic, something I wasn't aware of despite the thread on it being started way back in November 2018! I have no particular 'need' for a Deltic but seeing where we are now in terms of quality, accuracy and detail has waken me up somewhat.

 

It's making me look back at what I've done / haven't done in the past and realise that daydreaming whistfully about 'the perfect layout' has got me nowhere. I think being honest about it, even if I had the space I'd still struggle to stick with the plan and get anything anywhere near up and running before changing my mind and going off in a different direction. With this in mind, I now want to build a reasonable sized diorama instead, something simple and not too region or area specific to display any locos or stock I might buy in the future, and more importantly something that I can actually finish that won't take up to much precious space. Whatever transpires, I hope the mojo doesn't go walkies again for a good while yet.

 

 

I built just such a diorama last year under lockdown. It’s powered (DC) and serves as a backdrop for the locos I was starting to amass. One thing lockdown made me realise is that it is work and interacting with people for too long during the day that wears me down, but I recharge whilst alone and modelling helps (I’m a textbook introvert, most of the time). The lockdown served as a blueprint for retirement, and now my task is to work out how I can retire as soon as possible, but manage a reasonable income, through whatever means. 

 

I can reflect many others’ comments on here that being stressed, through work does not make me want to do any creative pursuits after. Instead I prefer to disappear into the countryside on my bike for a bit of greenery and nature.

 

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Money Money Money

 

Because of my job situation, new job didn't work out and back to old job. Able to keep my head above water but not by much, suddenly can't afford to indulge myself quite so much and its affected my wellbeing. I like my job, but I don't think people appreciate who much living expenses are stacked against you living on your own. Thinking about trying to earn money elsewhere but not really sure I can find a saleable talent.

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If you don’t have a mortgage or dependents, think about whether you actually need to work.  This is very counter-intuitive, and you will certainly have to cope with a drastic drop in income, and downsizing your living arrangements will be a potential factor as well.  
 

But it’s not hard to see that you are struggling, and it looks quite possible that your work situation, already a red flag, will deteriorate and you may even lose work eventually anyway.  This was the situation I faced in 1997, with my sick leave due to my rapidly deteriorating mental state resulting in my being under threat of termination.  Fortunately, my trade union managed to negotiate early retirement for health reasons.  
 

I was surprised at how little difference it made to my already fairly poverty stricken lifestyle when pension, DLA, and the housing benefit from my local council which paid for some of my rent, were factored

in to the mix.  I was fortunate in living alone with no dependents and being able to manage accordingly.  I lost the DLA when that allowance was replaced, and it was tough going for about 18 months, but then I was old enough to was access government old age pension.  I’m by no means well off, but I can pay my rent top up, the bills, eat reasonable food, have internet and a nice phone, go up the pub sometimes, even have pub food or takeouts once in a while, and of course the little railway.   No chance of a car,  much in the way of holidays, and I’m scruffy, but I always was. 
 

Clearly, this may not be suitable or even possible for you, but all the same it might be worth considering seriously and not dismissing out of hand over some sort of guilt, work ethic, or the feeling that you are a burden on society; you’ve supported society in net terms for years, and paid your dues!  I am certain that, had I not ‘retired early and hang the cost’, I would would not have survived into this century, and I’m not saying that it has been the smoothest ride in any case. 
 

But there are benefits to be had from being your own master, even a poor one.  Opting for this solution will require some very, and I mean very, deep and serious soul searching and self analysis, and there are certainly risks, but this is best done before the situation deteriorates to the point where loss of work is inevitable and you are still able to manage parts of the transition on your own terms. 
 

Best thing I ever did (not that anything I ever did set a particularly high bench mark), literally a life saver!

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1 hour ago, Coldgunner said:

Money Money Money

 

Because of my job situation, new job didn't work out and back to old job. Able to keep my head above water but not by much, suddenly can't afford to indulge myself quite so much and its affected my wellbeing. I like my job, but I don't think people appreciate who much living expenses are stacked against you living on your own. Thinking about trying to earn money elsewhere but not really sure I can find a saleable talent.

Retrain as a lorry driver. My brother in law ditched his old job of eroded wages and creeping longer hours and now he's his own boss, shorter hours, twice the dosh and a great camaraderie. A complete life change in under 8 months and his leisure time allows him to indulge his hobby for twice as long! What I'm saying is,  don't look, leap! :D

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On 31/08/2021 at 15:05, leopardml2341 said:

I think that's sort of right, I readily do things for others because I feel it's selfish to do things for myself. So as long as someone needs me to help them, they go to the top of the list. 

You need you to help you. Put yourself at the top of the list. It's what I do when necessary.

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1 hour ago, The Johnster said:

If you don’t have a mortgage or dependents, think about whether you actually need to work.  This is very counter-intuitive, and you will certainly have to cope with a drastic drop in income, and downsizing your living arrangements will be a potential factor as well.  

We no longer have a mortgage, but that's "thanks" to both being made redundant within 2 years of each other and losing two parents, both leaving some legacy.  The first redundancy was my wife and it just happened to coincide with our daughter finishing at the (thankfully, subsidised) nursery and starting school, so that was a big expense no longer necessary.  The pay-off went towards two lump sum payments to reduce the mortgage by more than 20% in 6 months.  My wife was no longer interested in staying in the same field and whatever she earned in a similar job would have been mostly spent on childcare.  We looked at what we needed to earn and decided that if she wasn't driving to work, we'd be barely £100/month worse off, which was manageable. 

 

It was the best decision we could have made.  She volunteered in the local school where our children attended, the voluntary role became a small P/T role, which became two P/T roles which became a full-time role (in school hours only).  And it's at the end of the street...... The "normal thing to do" would have meant us both working in full-time jobs, probably putting the children (one child showing signs of being on the Autistic Spectrum at an early age) with child-minders for hours every day as we have no family within 3 hours travel, all for about an extra £3/day?  It would have driven us both over the edge, we were both mentally struggling anyway but the small financial pressure was much preferable to the alternative.

 

After my redundancy, I worked in another company with a culture I never got with (and will gladly never work in again), but found another role suitable for my skills, but with a salary towards the bottom of what would be normal for the role.  It was only a 5% GROSS pay rise and meant a London rail commute instead of a 90-mile drive every day.  Again, I did the maths and worked out that allowing for extra leave, pension, travel allowance etc., the NET raise was more like 25%.  That and the workplace culture was as enjoyable as anywhere in my career.

 

I second @The Johnster, do the maths.  You might be surprised at what you can afford to do.

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Thanks for the tips, I did wonder about a change of career into lorry driving, it does peak my interest but I have the hurdle of needing the qualifications and not being quite 100% sure. I like IT and fortunately I'm moving away from that direct customer facing role I was once in. I have ideas about getting a second income from my hobbies and only just uploaded my first vlog on Youtube (link in signature if anyones interested).

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2 hours ago, Coldgunner said:

Thanks for the tips, I did wonder about a change of career into lorry driving, it does peak my interest but I have the hurdle of needing the qualifications and not being quite 100% sure. I like IT and fortunately I'm moving away from that direct customer facing role I was once in. I have ideas about getting a second income from my hobbies and only just uploaded my first vlog on Youtube (link in signature if anyones interested).

My mate had an HGV licence , and when covid wrecked the airlines , tried to find some work, but without experience no one was interested . I understand there’s a big shortage , but the companies deserve that with people paying to train then shoddy and disrespectful hourly rate .

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On 31/08/2021 at 15:00, 33C said:

Probably because you enjoy the adrenaline rush of buying because it's for you, whereas you sound like somebody who needs encouragement or reward to make or do. Do something, anything, post it on here because, WE would love to see it! And it could really inspire others. As Mrs. Doyle would say, "Go on, go on, go on, go on, GO ON!" ;)

This is the only thing I’ve done this year and it didn’t take  me that long and it’s seems Mojo may be returning. For those that don’t know, it’s a 3D reprinted Hudswell that fits on an un-modified Bachmann 03 chassis and so if I’d balls up the body I could stick the chassis back in the 03. 
Its not the best but perhaps it may inspire someone to go searching for Mojo.

Good luck, Robert4F235870-E095-429A-A4FD-96A66C26A83C.jpeg.1f4d352a320dbc0f8995b5056395ac0e.jpeg

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4 minutes ago, Erichill16 said:

This is the only thing I’ve done this year and it didn’t take  me that long and it’s seems Mojo may be returning. For those that don’t know, it’s a 3D reprinted Hudswell that fits on an un-modified Bachmann 03 chassis and so if I’d balls up the body I could stick the chassis back in the 03. 
Its not the best but perhaps it may inspire someone to go searching for Mojo.

Good luck, Robert4F235870-E095-429A-A4FD-96A66C26A83C.jpeg.1f4d352a320dbc0f8995b5056395ac0e.jpeg

Nice, quality job. What can you do when the Mojo is completely restored! "Power Up!" :superman:

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2 minutes ago, 33C said:

Nice, quality job. What can you do when the Mojo is completely restored! "Power Up!" :superman:

I’m  part way through a Kerr Stewart Victory class, the same as is being introduced as RTR soon. Mojo deserts me when I open the box as I know I won’t  be able  it to get it to the same standard.  

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2 hours ago, Coldgunner said:

Thanks for the tips, I did wonder about a change of career into lorry driving, it does peak my interest but I have the hurdle of needing the qualifications and not being quite 100% sure. I like IT and fortunately I'm moving away from that direct customer facing role I was once in. I have ideas about getting a second income from my hobbies and only just uploaded my first vlog on Youtube (link in signature if anyones interested).

How about 3D printing EMU bodies/cab fronts/panelled coach sides etc. That is surely in your IT field? Precious few RTR and would appeal to the younger/next gen modellers if they want to model the current/recent past scene they are growing up in and around (and some of us not so young!) Could sell the coaches (e.g. 302 BDT, MC, TC, DT.) individually so people could build up a set over weeks/months as and when pocket money/birthday money/gifts allows? Designed around an easily obtained/cheap power bogie using 3D or proprietary bogie (Hornby plug-in's) or as a set for christmas! :D

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6 minutes ago, Erichill16 said:

I’m  part way through a Kerr Stewart Victory class, the same as is being introduced as RTR soon. Mojo deserts me when I open the box as I know I won’t  be able  it to get it to the same standard.  

Little and often, little and often. 10 mins here, 20 mins there and it's done before you know it. Works for me and i've usually got 2-5 things on the go so, the model and job matches my mojo at that particular time. With the shifts I do, which are all over the clock, i'm amazed how much i get done! :blink:

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10 minutes ago, Erichill16 said:

I’m  part way through a Kerr Stewart Victory class, the same as is being introduced as RTR soon. Mojo deserts me when I open the box as I know I won’t  be able  it to get it to the same standard.  

For me, perfection is the enemy of progress, if I can get something 90% the way I want it - it's good enough.  

 

I also found inspiration in @ianathompson AFK Altonian Complementary Railways thread which exudes charm and a brilliant back story.  I can thoroughly recommend it:

 

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Is it worth having a Senior Railcard? It hasn’t been since I passed 60 last year.
 

I’ll be travelling East Midlands Parkway to Leicester a couple of times a Week and have a Nottingham-Cardiff trip next month.

I would also like to travel some of the Northern, Scottish and Welsh routes I’ve never been to. Also visiting some rail connected preserved lines such as the Bluebell.

 

Dava

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1 hour ago, Erichill16 said:

This is the only thing I’ve done this year and it didn’t take  me that long and it’s seems Mojo may be returning. For those that don’t know, it’s a 3D reprinted Hudswell that fits on an un-modified Bachmann 03 chassis and so if I’d balls up the body I could stick the chassis back in the 03. 
Its not the best but perhaps it may inspire someone to go searching for Mojo.

Good luck, Robert4F235870-E095-429A-A4FD-96A66C26A83C.jpeg.1f4d352a320dbc0f8995b5056395ac0e.jpeg

You might not think it's the best, but I would be very pleased with it if I'd buit it!

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3 hours ago, Dava said:

Is it worth having a Senior Railcard? It hasn’t been since I passed 60 last year.
 

I’ll be travelling East Midlands Parkway to Leicester a couple of times a Week and have a Nottingham-Cardiff trip next month.

I would also like to travel some of the Northern, Scottish and Welsh routes I’ve never been to. Also visiting some rail connected preserved lines such as the Bluebell.

 

Dava

 

You'll save 33% on every trip with a railcard. Still cost £30 for a year or I think you can get a three year one online cheaper. 

You'll get your money back on the Nottingham-Cardiff trip alone if you're buying an on the day ticket.

 

Information here, after a quick Google, although I'd rather you didn't use the train line. If it's reasonably easy use station ticket offices or for shorter journeys from unstaffed stations buy on the train, unless there's a penalty fare system and ticket machine.

The train line is merely a travel agent and if something goes wrong the rail companies can't alter anything.

https://www.thetrainline.com/trains/great-britain/railcards/senior-railcard.

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10 hours ago, Erichill16 said:

I’m  part way through a Kerr Stewart Victory class, the same as is being introduced as RTR soon. Mojo deserts me when I open the box as I know I won’t  be able  it to get it to the same standard.  

Doesn't matter - the satisfaction of building it yourself is something you will never get from just opening a box. I built mine from an old Centre Models kit a couple of years ago. Yes, it's slightly galling that everyone will soon own a 'better' one but this will do me.

 

WP_20191130_14_11_48_Pro.jpg.b710d93617e33ed7780e37bd67e6fd69.jpg

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10 hours ago, sjp23480 said:

For me, perfection is the enemy of progress, if I can get something 90% the way I want it - it's good enough.  

This is what held me back for most of my career, I don't "strive for perfection" enough.  I've met and worked with people who say they do but unfortunately their definition of perfection was usually set by them, so it was easier to know when they've met it.  They were also usually the ones who worked until 10pm (well, were sending e-mails at home at that time) and told everyone within earshot how hard they worked.

Personally I prefer to get something "good enough", get it finished, tick it off the list and move on.

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12 hours ago, Erichill16 said:

I’m  part way through a Kerr Stewart Victory class, the same as is being introduced as RTR soon. Mojo deserts me when I open the box as I know I won’t  be able  it to get it to the same standard.  

It will be your model in a way that the rtr one will never be

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13 hours ago, 33C said:

Little and often, little and often. 10 mins here, 20 mins there and it's done before you know it. Works for me and i've usually got 2-5 things on the go so, the model and job matches my mojo at that particular time. With the shifts I do, which are all over the clock, i'm amazed how much i get done! :blink:

That’s how it went with the Hudswell. I like to process in the time I’ve spent but sometimes it take 20mins to getmy tools out and by then the initiative has be lost. I don’t want to proceed until I can work out how the boiler is supposed to be completed. It looks like it’s just butt joined but can’t see it holding. Until I can work that out I don’t see have the energy to proceed, it not the next step in the kit but I’ve got it in the back of my mind. 
I don’t like too many projects on the go at once as invariably they get left at a tricky stage and then I end up just shuffling boxes trying to find something ‘do-able’.

Anyway back to the gardening. 
Please all keep your peckers up.

Robert

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