Modelling mojo and state of mind

[woodenhead]

19 minutes ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

 

I've spent just about all day clearing out books, trying to sort out which negs have or have not been sorted, and trying to get the study a bit tidier. It just feels like a mountain and in turn that seems to make doing modelling harder. 

Sounds like me and well anything.

 

I got to a point in the early summer where I felt everything was going wrong (work and model trains) but somehow I managed to pull it back by creating lists and only thinking of the current item in the list and limiting my time spent on it so I didn't dwell if it wasn't going so well.

 

Two months later having worked through most things and on Friday I tackled what was the most daunting of the tasks and the one that had caused me the most grief.  And I was amazed even here I now made amazing progress.

 

Sometimes it is a case of too much going on and you have to step back, break it all down and then come back at it slowly.

[jbqfc]

19 minutes ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

 

I've spent just about all day clearing out books, trying to sort out which negs have or have not been sorted, and trying to get the study a bit tidier. It just feels like a mountain and in turn that seems to make doing modelling harder. 

 

yes my record is 15 years from starting a kit to getting it finished I also have something that are part done for a lot longer 

I have not done any modelling for about a year due to me suffering from work related anxiety  which thankfully this is getting better Thanks to medication and work helping by moving me to a less stressful job  

 

John

[Northmoor]

30 minutes ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

Story of my life and career, pretty much.

In the last year I have focused on trying to finish things rather than buying more kits etc., (the projects pile is actually multiple piles of boxes each containing several projects).  It's been mostly model aircraft from my youth, the majority being built, never painted and needing repairs.  In terms of records @jbqfc; well a lot of these models were built in the early 1980s, so have taken nearly 40 years to complete.  15 years is practically last week.....  Don't ever beat yourself up for not finishing your projects, no-one's marking your work or setting a deadline - least of all on RMWeb - and never forget it's meant to be a hobby.  If you're not enjoying it, put it away until you're inspired again then do something small and achievable.

[Blandford1969]

Thanks all, I recognise things in what you have all said. Work colleague who made my life unpleasant, too much going on in life and of course family illnesses thrown in. Working at home has helped by getting me away from things, however work is still very stressful at times and the anxiety does like everyone else get in the way as a blocker. Getting rid of some voluntary roles also has helped, and sadly the illness resolved itself.

 

Tomorrow is another day and my target is to just get more sorted and get back to planning to do some modelling. Its so good to have a thread like this. 

[westernviscount]

2 hours ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

 

I've spent just about all day clearing out books, trying to sort out which negs have or have not been sorted, and trying to get the study a bit tidier. It just feels like a mountain and in turn that seems to make doing modelling harder. 

 

Yes I do. I find the opening stages of any project are a buzz. However, dependant on the project a lull happens somewhere in the middle. 

 

Flow state is a very delicately balanced state of mind and if the challenge to skill ratio is not spot on, motivation can be quickly lost. 

 

The best result I have had recently is a comet coach kit. Totally new process and deeply engaging throughout. But, if I am honest it was completed at a time when my work was returning to normal and i perceived that expectation of performance was low and the "it's coz covid" excuse could be deployed legitimately. Thus stress levels were low and modelling time was guilt free. No longer I am afraid. 

 

So projects stall and chances to become absorbed diminish. Now in the back of the mind is bloody work and my creative brain is now given over to attempting to match up the BS expectations of bosses against reality. This is such a mind bender, there is little room for applying myself fully to a project and the will to complete disappears because I want to do good modelling!

 

This ebbs and floes of course but the mountain looks all the harder to scale from the valley floor. 

[john new]

3 hours ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

 

I've spent just about all day clearing out books, trying to sort out which negs have or have not been sorted, and trying to get the study a bit tidier. It just feels like a mountain and in turn that seems to make doing modelling harder. 

I think part of it is that the getting the idea together and refining it is actually more interesting than the subsequent doings phase. Then before the doings of that is finished the brain has moved on to a further idea. 

 

Edited September 25, 2021 by john new
Typo correction

[33C]

Work. -  Only do what you can do, do not do anything for nothing, never take work home, only do contractual hours, join a union.     Hobbies. - it's supposed to be fun, if not, do something else, don't fret about anything unfinished, no-one else is, and some days, I just want to watch the telly!  

[MrWolf]

Work - Being able to do things others can't will always keep you in a job. However, never show your full hand if you are truly multi talented. For you will end up picking up the slack of your co workers whilst still being paid the same as the man next to you who will repeat the mantra of one man one job like it's still 1973.

You will also be seen as a threat by those above you, particularly those versed in selling themselves at others expense to hide their lack of practical worth 

They will keep you where you are because you're the benchmark between the workers and the bosses. You've proven useful everywhere at your level, if promoted, you might bring the whole house of cards down. If you're happy in your job, keep quiet. If you know that you can do better, go somewhere else. Nobody goes from teaboy to managing director anymore. 

Use your talent for your own benefit if you can. I've been very lucky despite a lot of misfortune. I decided that even if I had to struggle sometimes, I would never again get up in the morning in order to make someone else a millionaire.

[The Johnster]

5 hours ago, Blandford1969 said:

Does anyone struggle to finish anything. Its like starting is really easy but then you get to a hard point and you put it to one side and do something else, but going back to the other just get gets harder. 

 

I've spent just about all day clearing out books, trying to sort out which negs have or have not been sorted, and trying to get the study a bit tidier. It just feels like a mountain and in turn that seems to make doing modelling harder. 

When I came back to the hobby 6 years ago, I told myself that I would avoid this situation, that of having a large number of unfinished models, by being disciplined about projects.  Once a build becomes a project, it is given a project box, and the rule is that no other project is started until the current project is finished.  This approach has been fairly successful, and I have finished several projects before moving on to the next one and finishing that.  But I have not maintained the rule strictly, because some builds that should have been classed as projects have not been and these have a greater tendency to languish in the unfinished 'round tuit' box. 

 

Actually, this is not altogether a bad thing, and works well for me; a disciplined approach that ensures that projects are successfully completed, and, in parallel, jobs that I can pick up where I left off 'between projects' or if I'm not in the mood for the project today.  So for example, at present, the project, progressing steadily and on track despite a minor setback this week, is the kitbash Collett 1938 31xx, the result of a night of ill-advised passion involving a Mainline 43xx, Mainline 56xx, and an Airfix large prairie with smaller Markits wheels, while there is a Collett bowended non-gangwayed all third simmering away in the background based on an old CCW aluminium bodyshell, which is nearing the final stages of glazing and permanently attaching to a surplus Airfix B set underframe.

 

This is punctuated by general maintenance, and the odd new/2h purchase needing weathering or working up to my standards.  So, according to my mood, I can operate the layout, fettle things a bit (general maintenance, minor improvements, no layout is ever truly finished), tackle the next stage of whatever project is in progress, or faff about with the all-third.  There is still the train lighting job to complete, and the layout lighting is not 100% reliable yet and could do with a full rewiring and re-install.  I've had a very satisfying operating session yesterday evening, and not touched any of the other jobs; this is fine!  But I can recommend the idea of not starting a project until the current one is finished as an effective discpline and organisation of work.

[TerryD1471]

This is a fascinating conversation; not least because I am aware of many talented people who have become "tortured geniuses" (should that be genii? Don't answer that!) and suffered much as a result. Just think Van Gogh among many others.

 

Life is a minefield, with many a snare to trap the unwary, but my belief is that we are here to undergo many a trial. One of the trials is, I think, to use your given talents to the best effect. No-one ever gave you any credit for saying  "I could have done that!" Just get on with what you think is worthwhile.

[woodenhead]

So when my mojo took a dive back in May I left all my stock out on the layout with many locos off the track but sat on the baseboard.  The room is airy, dry and where I work so in regular use.

 

Most of my locos came back to life as before and because I had now wired all my points were running better over the points, however, three motors have not come back as they were - a 47 which was grounding on the points (known issue), a Dapol Western that is stuttering and one of my 108s that doesnt like to start but once going is fine.

 

The 47 I finally tackled today, required the use of a file to remove some of the bottom off the bogie, I did lose a tiny part off the side of the bogie - might see if I can glue it back, not that I can tell from whence it came lol.  However, again, by putting it to one side and coming back to it I felt more confident to do the fix and it is now running agai.  The 108 remains stabled but I did take a look at the Western, this seems more complicated as two things stand out - it seems that the electrics may only be getting power from the odd wheel which would explain it's poor performance and on a rolling road only one of the bogies was turning at one point - maybe a gear problem.  Ha - maybe in sharing this I have found the issue - a broken gear - if one bogie wasn't turning the wheels and the loco is jerky at 'regular' internals might it be a broken tooth/split gear.  Some more investigations required......

 

But this is the thing with mojo, when I was down these issues would have me grabbing my OO gauge stock and thinking, I'm done with this N gauge malarkey.  But when the when the mojo is up I remember how much I like these models, the ones I can never bring myself to sell and then I get around to making things work.

[The Johnster]

My missus reckons that creative and artistic people are more prone to clinical depression because they are more sensitive and empathetic to fellow tortured souls, and she may be on to something.  I am usually aware of other people who suffer before they tell me about it, and I seem to be a person that they open up to more readily than a 'norm', but I don't actually think that creativity and artistic talent are a cause of depression, rather that they are an effect, a result or consequence. 

 

Mental illness of this sort is no repecter of talent, creativity, age, social status, wealth, ethnicity or any other feature of human existence; it can and does happen to anybody on a Martini basis. anytime anyplace, anywhere.  Van Gogh was a somewhat different case, a sufferer from paranoid schizophrenia, but the list of talented depressives is long, and includes luminaries such as Beethoven, Schubert, Billie Holliday, Curt Cobain, Hemingway, and many, many others; those are just off the top of my head!

[TravisM]

I’ve been struggling with my modelling mojo since I lost my job in 2018 after having a stroke, then just as I was getting back to normal, early last year, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and then lock down.

 

I have a unfinished Revell Saturn V which I keep looking at, but a few weeks ago, I got my boards back and cracked on with my Sleaford East Junction layout.  I’ve laid out the track on two of the boards and just waiting for some PVA glue to arrive so I can finish off the gradient.  Hopefully the weather will be good for one day, so I can take the third board outside and scrape off the remaining cork roadbed.

[Tangoman69]

Jools, it sounds like you’ve been truly through the ringer mate, you’ve not had the best last 3 years.

But the project above looks like it should be tackleable (if that’s a word!) in small steps.

Remember, we re not all Alan Downes, James Makin to name a few great modellers, it’s a hobby that we do at our own pace. Sometimes I have an absolute cracking period where I get loads done, then nothing for months.

Stick with it and all the best with your conditions.

[john new]

When you are down already items on the switchback of what are relatively minor setbacks/highs take on a much higher significance than they should. I was on the up curve on Monday, had a minor setback with the current model project on Tuesday, was on the up again on Wednesday and had loaded up the car ready for a trip to the SVR Diesel gala/Society AGM at Kidderminster. I should have been leaving early Thursday morning for those and then onwards to a family break in York.

 

An unexpected medical setback in my existing condition overnight required a DRs visit to get a scrip on Thursday morning delaying departure by three hours meaning both Kidderminster events got cut.  Did eventually get to mother's a couple of hours late and got petrol on route ok. A decent sleep and have managed today to get some serious hedge cutting done for her and as seeing the family tomorrow and Sunday so was on the up swing again. Sadly I then learnt during the afternoon that an acquaintance I've known for just short of 50 years, and extremely well respected in the village, had passed away this morning. 

 

All minor things but in my mind they are getting overly amplified creating the feeling I am on a massive roller coaster ride.

 

To conclude - RIP Willie Anderson, you were one of the good guys.

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by john new
Edits redone - system crashed earlier mid edit.

[great central]

My mojo almost put in an appearance today, it would be the first I've seen of it for several years but things conspired again to send it scurrying back into it's hiding place.

Spent yesterday cutting down some rather large trees and then cutting them into manageable pieces to dry for eventual use in the stove. By the time I'd done that pretty much all day I'd had enough.

Took the wife to church this morning, then went to meet a friend. After collecting wife again I set to and cleared a lot of the bits and pieces left over from yesterday as well as loads of leaves.

Decided then I'd tackle cleaning the portescap gearbox that is seized up on a bargain kit I bought some time ago.

No chance, wife called me upstairs, can hear an odd noise coming from the airing cupboard, galvanized header tank has decided today is the day it springs a leak!! After some messing with that, the drip is now filling a bucket rather than the living room ceiling, phew!

So tomorrow is taken care of with replacement of the header tank and now I'm back to can't be bothering with model stuff.

There's other things going on as well that make any time I might find for modelling simply too much effort because I'm likely to get called away at a moments notice.

Thinking I'll just give in to the inevitable, keep the stuff I have got as it will make a decent legacy for my son. Simply need to find some sort of calm in my life.

 

[Blandford1969]

Its ironic the pressure at work over the last three months has been intense trying to get some payrolls transitioned to new software. With two this month it seemed to be touch and go for a time as to if people would be paid yesterday. Eventually it all came through but my anxiety was through the roof, so I could not summon the energy to do any modelling. 

 

With people paid you would have thought it would be a big relief and off you go, but no yesterday was a virtual wipe out with struggling to do anything, which was horrible. So I was up and at the laptop at 6.50am sending emails today and by eleven finally got the job finished. 

 

Not sure if that helped but a good modelling session then followed with parts sorted out, and everything laid out for a soldering session. Hopefully tomorrow I will manage to do what has been impossible for months and actually do some proper modelling of soldering things together. 

 

Hopefully the tiredness will start to abate too. 

[The Johnster]

1 hour ago, Blandford1969 said:

 

With people paid you would have thought it would be a big relief and off you go, but no yesterday was a virtual wipe out with struggling to do anything, which was horrible. So I was up and at the laptop at 6.50am sending emails today and by eleven finally got the job finished.

 

I've experienced something like this, though not work related.  When you are under stress, you concentrate on coping with the job in hand, with solving the problem so that the stress, which you know is killing you, is relieved. and when it is it's like banging your head on a brick wall, lovely when it stops.  But your brain has been concentrating on stress relief to the extent that it has not dealt with the associated depression, anxiety, and emotional damage at all during that time, so when you stop banging your head and it's lovely, it is only a very short time before all that undealt with stuff comes flooding in, and there is no desperate stess causing issue to divert you from it.

 

Give yourself time to debrief.

[Dava]

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme, 1.5 weeks pay per full year worked, including service in related organisations in the sector, capped at 20 years. Requires exit between Feb & May next year.

 

I have 20 years+, aged 62 next year.Realise that tax payable on payments over £30k. But in next tax year that can be managed. Thinking about what to do….?

 

I have a lot on next year, Jan-June, don’t want to let people down with a chaotic exit. I also want to do some modelling, cycling & travelling…..

 

Dava

[chrisf]

Dava, ask yourself how happy you are at work.  When I was paid to go away from the civil service in 2006 I had been desperately unhappy and the opportunity to escape was too good to miss.

 

Chris

[john new]

6 hours ago, Dava said:

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme, 1.5 weeks pay per full year worked, including service in related organisations in the sector, capped at 20 years. Requires exit between Feb & May next year.

 

I have 20 years+, aged 62 next year.Realise that tax payable on payments over £30k. But in next tax year that can be managed. Thinking about what to do….?

 

I have a lot on next year, Jan-June, don’t want to let people down with a chaotic exit. I also want to do some modelling, cycling & travelling…..

 

Dava

The bottom line is can you live adequately enough on the income between going at 62 and getting any additional state and/or private pension?  If yes then if you are like I was when I took e-ret, stressed out with related knock on medical issues, it will be the best personal decision you will ever make. Quality of life is far more important than feeling you are owing your employer by not taking the package they are offering. They’ve offered it, up to them to reorganise at their end if you say you will take up their company wide VS scheme.
 

Post retirement it shouldn’t be your problem, when I left there was a long running task I would have liked to have finished, the interesting bits of that didn’t outweigh all the other associated c**p acting as stressors. Take it now while you can.

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by john new
Punctuation

[Blandford1969]

6 hours ago, Dava said:

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme, 1.5 weeks pay per full year worked, including service in related organisations in the sector, capped at 20 years. Requires exit between Feb & May next year.

 

I have 20 years+, aged 62 next year.Realise that tax payable on payments over £30k. But in next tax year that can be managed. Thinking about what to do….?

 

Is this on top of your Statutory Redundancy or instead? 

[Barclay]

6 hours ago, Dava said:

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme, 1.5 weeks pay per full year worked, including service in related organisations in the sector, capped at 20 years. Requires exit between Feb & May next year.

 

I have 20 years+, aged 62 next year.Realise that tax payable on payments over £30k. But in next tax year that can be managed. Thinking about what to do….?

 

I have a lot on next year, Jan-June, don’t want to let people down with a chaotic exit. I also want to do some modelling, cycling & travelling…..

 

Dava

If it works for you financially then bite their arm off - In the employer/employee relationship, loyalty seldom works both ways. And if you may not actually leave for 6 months, you're hardly leaving them in the lurch, it's up to them to cover your duties after you leave.

[Mike Bellamy]

7 hours ago, Dava said:

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme,

 

David - also look at the Pension Scheme - with some if you leave within x number of years from retirement due to redundancy, you can get an immediate full pension rather than wait until your pension scheme retirement age. Normally if you just leave early, the pension is reduced.

 

When I was told my job was 'at risk' three years ago, I obviously applied and was rejected as I had 'a valuable knowledge and skills base' - but if that was the case why say my job was at risk - the real reason was that they wanted to reorganise, reduce staff numbers and give everyone new job descriptions, so virtually all the admin staff got the same letter. Not all applied and there were many like me who were disappointed. I made my feelings known - I felt it was age discrimination as they knew I was approaching retirement age and would be leaving anyway.

 

The end result was that I was asked to stay on a bit later to ensure an 'orderly handover' and would be paid a couple of months extra.

Redundancy rejected February - age 65 April - stayed at work to end of July - State pension (and Bus Pass!) in November as I was part of the transition year between retirement at 65 and 66. Work pension was due to start at age 65 and so when I left that was back dated to April.

 

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

 

Mike

[figworthy]

19 hours ago, Dava said:

So my employer has launched a Voluntary Severance scheme, 1.5 weeks pay per full year worked, including service in related organisations in the sector, capped at 20 years. Requires exit between Feb & May next year.

 

I have 20 years+, aged 62 next year.Realise that tax payable on payments over £30k. But in next tax year that can be managed. Thinking about what to do….?

 

I have a lot on next year, Jan-June, don’t want to let people down with a chaotic exit. I also want to do some modelling, cycling & travelling…..

 

Dava

 

As others have said, you need to do the maths on going at 62, or staying on.  What you haven't mentioned is whether or not you are enjoying what you are doing.  As others here have mentioned, if you are not enjoying it (for whatever reason), then a half decent package is a big hint as to what to do.

 

Several years back, my then employer came up with a voluntary severance scheme which almost anyone with a reasonable length of service and within 5 years or so of pension age would have been daft not to take (in financial terms). Unfortunately, whilst local manglement were happy to let people go, human remains decreed that those in certain roles had to stay, and I fell into one of those groups.

 

Adrian