Modelling mojo and state of mind

[tomparryharry]

Well an hour or so later and I have this

 

IMG_4396.JPG

 

It was fiddly, it's not like an Airfix kit but it rolls like a wagon and looks like a Mink. The trussing isn't perfect but it's my first kit and I was more concerned about snapping it than lovely angles.

 

Little victories add up, wife is home soon so time to make up for my behaviour yesterday.

 

Nice looking van there. That is a well-deserved pat on the back.

 

Ian.

[sb67]

Well an hour or so later and I have this

 

IMG_4396.JPG

 

It was fiddly, it's not like an Airfix kit but it rolls like a wagon and looks like a Mink. The trussing isn't perfect but it's my first kit and I was more concerned about snapping it than lovely angles.

 

Little victories add up, wife is home soon so time to make up for my behaviour yesterday.

 

Great stuff, well deserved pat on the back Woodenhead, that looks fine to me.

Steve.

[Foden]

I do suffer a little anxiety with modelling, not so much in every day life (atleast no more so than the next person), but there's a certain amount of having to kick one's self up the arse to get anything started, let alone finished. I guess it all comes down to the fear of ballsing it up.

About a year or so ago, I got into the idea of respraying a loco. I really wanted a dutch liveried 31/5 with roof mounted marker lights, a model that's not available on the shelf. I done lots of research, spent a shed load of money on all the good gear, a top spec airbrush, compressor, and accessories, all the phoenix paints and varnishes, Tamiya masking tapes, etched depot plaques and fox transfers, paint stands... the lot. I also bought an old Lima 31 to practise on, and some superstrip paint stripper. The superstrip wasn't any good atall at removing the Lima paint from the body shell, so after conducting some research on the web I found that many people have successfully used brake fluid to strip paint. I tried it on the Lima model and excellent, it worked a treat. I applied a primer and then started masking up and practised the allbeit rather simple livery on the model, it was brilliant, much better than I could have hoped for on a first model, I was dead happy with myself. On the back of this I bought a brand new DCR Hornby class 31, and set about stripping it all down. I followed exactly the same procedure as for the Lima model, and to my horror, the brake fluid had totally destroyed the Hornby plastic, I was absolutely mortified.

 

I went back to the computer wondering where I went wrong, the advice was out there, and I'd even tested it on a cheaper model. I later found out that the brake fluid reacted badly with some plastics, and by awful luck, when I'd researched using brake fluid as plastic stripper I'd only fell on the success stories. I was so angry with myself at the time, I actually felt embarrassed posting the results on here, but I wanted to put the info out there so that others would be aware. Infact here's the link if anyone's interested http://www.rmweb.co.uk/community/index.php?/topic/125475-stripping-paint-using-brake-fluid/

 

Moral of the story is that I was so set back and hurt by my own cock up, I haven't touched the majority of all that gear I bought save for a little weathering in nearly a year.

 

The second problem is time, I'm very fortunate in that I have managed to build and establish my own business that has and is doing extremely well for itself, and for me. Infact the business has done so well that a few months ago I've completed on a deal for a much larger competitor to buy my business for very satisfying terms to myself. The downside, as has been the case for the past seven years is that I'm flat out at work for the next 12 months whilst my business is integrated into that of the purchasing one, all part of the terms of purchase. Reality is I get about 3 hours an evening to spend with my very understanding and very overdue wife to be, and a fraction of that still left to do any modelling. Weekends are much the same, if I'm not in the office putting extra work in, then I'm constantly being hounded by phone which brakes up any momentum atall when modelling.

 

I've recently had my garage extended to double its length, the plan was in motion some 24 months ago and would allow me to construct my 'dream' layout that I've planned in my head for decades, and it dawned on me that another investment in a hobby that does actually give me so much happiness would probably end up a white elephant (in modelling form atleast) for years to come unless I recognised the need to turn the grand ideas into reality.

 

In a little under a year I'll be out of my position in the company I built, and although only 32 by then, I intend to take a breather for a small while, tie the knot with the woman who makes it all worthwhile, and spend a little time fulfilling the project that's been a pipe dream for so long, before seeking a job that allows considerably less than the 60+ hours a week I've given for what feels like much longer than what it actually has.

 

My grandfather used to work on the railways, he was responsible for my passion, and he too had a fascination with model railways. He was a hardworking gentleman too, even after retirement. He had a small layout in the spare room, but we'd always talk about the 'big one in the shed' that was being built the next year. We talked about that from when I was a young teenager right upto when I was in my early 20s. I talked about that at the poor old man's funeral too with tears in my eyes. He never achieved his dream layout, he had all the stock, all the gear, and all the passion to go with it, but there was just always that something that made it 'next year lad'. Anxiety? Mojo? I really don't know.

 

I'm fortunate, I accept and appreciate that every day. I have age, and as far as I'm aware health on my side, and I've worked bloody hard to be able to finance it too, I wouldn't know what a silver spoon was if it fell in my porridge. But I won't let my life pass by making excuses not to embrace something that makes me happy, life's too short for that.

Try things, make mistakes, don't kick yourself too hard when you make them. But learn, and become better. Have a vision, have a dream, and do what you can to achieve it. Life really is too short to let opportunities pass you by.

 

Keep at it gentlemen, make yourselves proud.

[sb67]

Thanks for sharing that Matt, and some great advice at the end, from experience not always easy to put in to practice though. Did you get your paint stripping problems sorted at all and are you planning another try? I similarly bought an airbrush and all the stuff a few years ago and it hasn't seen the light of day since. I really envy those people that just seem to do things and get on with it, although I could have only been reading success stories.

Steve.

Edited July 23, 2018 by sb67

[Foden]

Not at all easy Steve, no. But we do what we can to overcome the barriers in our way, and I think when we do, the satisfaction it brings us reminds us why we love this hobby.

 

I’m afraid I haven’t stripped another model since, I’ve been researching suitable chemicals and methods for stripping paint, from dettol to something called super clean degreaser, I’m at the point where I’m ready and willing to try again now.

 

I have however found much more use recently for the airbrush, using it to paint some wills retaining walls and a tunnel portal in engineering blue brick for a practice diorama I’m working on. I’ve also been weathering some old stock and then moving onto my newer stuff with quite pleasing results too.

 

I’ve also took the plunge and put a milling machine that I bought back at Warley last year to use for milling a class 37 to accept an EM2 speaker which took some courage, but I was happy with the results of that.

[Mallard60022]

I have to say that a whiff of Mek Pak and a decent plastic kit makes for XLNT Occupational Therapy, even more so in the winter. Very satisfying and quite an instant fix IMO unless, (of course) it is a Cambrian Walrus...............................

Also, this hot weather makes me very tired and I have to work very hard not to drift off into unhelpful thinking sometimes.

Phil

[sb67]

Not at all easy Steve, no. But we do what we can to overcome the barriers in our way, and I think when we do, the satisfaction it brings us reminds us why we love this hobby.

 

I’m afraid I haven’t stripped another model since, I’ve been researching suitable chemicals and methods for stripping paint, from dettol to something called super clean degreaser, I’m at the point where I’m ready and willing to try again now.

 

I have however found much more use recently for the airbrush, using it to paint some wills retaining walls and a tunnel portal in engineering blue brick for a practice diorama I’m working on. I’ve also been weathering some old stock and then moving onto my newer stuff with quite pleasing results too.

 

I’ve also took the plunge and put a milling machine that I bought back at Warley last year to use for milling a class 37 to accept an EM2 speaker which took some courage, but I was happy with the results of that.

 

Great stuff Matt, I find it all too easy sometimes to ignore the satisfaction and ust think about stuff I cant do,  it's only been the last year or so that I have started to notice that. Have you got any threads about your weathering?   The milling out the 37 is something I'd never try so big up for that! I've been building kits, weathering wagons and dabbling with a new layout but I've not used the airbrush yet but I'm building up to it.

Steve.

[woodenhead]

I have to say that a whiff of Mek Pak and a decent plastic kit makes for XLNT Occupational Therapy, even more so in the winter. Very satisfying and quite an instant fix IMO unless, (of course) it is a Cambrian Walrus...............................

Also, this hot weather makes me very tired and I have to work very hard not to drift off into unhelpful thinking sometimes.

Phil

I have four Cambrian kits to go at - I'll do another Parkside Dundas first though, then the Cambrian with the prebuilt chassis/solebars and the Cambrian with millions of bits last - these are just simple pre-grouping wagons.

 

I spilt MEK on the kitchen table once - for a second I was like whooaaaah then it evaporated and all was good (it's wooden).

Edited July 23, 2018 by woodenhead

[tomparryharry]

My modelling is all on stop at the moment, and all boxed up. The proposed new shed is in the offing, on the basis of creating a lot more space once it's done.

 

I've noticed there are a lot of shed builders out here on RMweb, and I've shamelessly plundered each & every idea you've had or used, so thank you, one & all.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ian.

[leopardml2341]

It's recently taken me over a week to pluck up he courage to take an rtr model that I bought out if its box.......

 

I thought I was 'getting better'.

[Mallard60022]

It's recently taken me over a week to pluck up he courage to take an rtr model that I bought out if its box.......

 

I thought I was 'getting better'.

You are excused if it was from a certain Company, it was an 0.4.4 and was an ex LSWR/BRSR Tank engine..................................

P

[leopardml2341]

You are excused if it was from a certain Company, it was an 0.4.4 and was an ex LSWR/BRSR Tank engine..................................

P

Nope, sadly, just a run o' the mill class 40.

[Foden]

Great stuff Matt, I find it all too easy sometimes to ignore the satisfaction and ust think about stuff I cant do,  it's only been the last year or so that I have started to notice that. Have you got any threads about your weathering?   The milling out the 37 is something I'd never try so big up for that! I've been building kits, weathering wagons and dabbling with a new layout but I've not used the airbrush yet but I'm building up to it.

Steve.

 

I haven't to be honest Steve, it had never crossed my mind to showcase any of my weathering work, maybe it's something I'll do in the future.

 

One of the best things I did was to buy a good few older wagons and locos, and start weathering them free of any real fear. Maybe you could try the same, at the very least it'll get the airbrush out, and you'll realise just how much enjoyment there is in using it.

[sb67]

I haven't to be honest Steve, it had never crossed my mind to showcase any of my weathering work, maybe it's something I'll do in the future.

 

One of the best things I did was to buy a good few older wagons and locos, and start weathering them free of any real fear. Maybe you could try the same, at the very least it'll get the airbrush out, and you'll realise just how much enjoyment there is in using it.

 

I do have some older locos and stock so I might give it a go.  It would be good to see your models, I do find it inspiring looking at other peoples work.

Steve.

[Coldgunner]

Sometimes I like to look at older loco's and investigate what I can do to 'tart' them up abit. Maybe that means fitting a DCC chip, but more often that not its touching up some paint work or adding detail parts. 5 minute jobs really.

 

I did consider doing a small Youtube series of 5 minute modelling jobs once.

[tomparryharry]

Sometimes I like to look at older loco's and investigate what I can do to 'tart' them up abit. Maybe that means fitting a DCC chip, but more often that not its touching up some paint work or adding detail parts. 5 minute jobs really.

 

I did consider doing a small Youtube series of 5 minute modelling jobs once.

Well, why don't you? People like me need a bit of encouragement & tuition from time to time. I enjoy Youtube tutorials. Missed a bit? No problem, rewind....

 

I'm still wading through 16 ton minerals, I'm determined to finish the rake. I'm ok-ish with the wagons, it's the locos I baulk at.

 

Cheers,

 

Ian.

[south_tyne]

I've just spent some time reading this thread through. I can emaphise with so much here. My turn to be honest...

 

I have increasingly sufferered from depression, severe anxiety issue, low self esteem and an eating disorder over the last 6-7 years, something which culminated in a breakdown of sorts last year. I have had CBT sessions that have helped in some respects in recognising triggers etc but, coupled with some physical health problems, I have just about reached the bottom at times.

 

In this time I have basically stopped modelling, going from having a number of projects on the go and a range of interests to having sold the majority of my stock and modelling material. Constant physical exhaustion, lack of motivation and crippling lack of self confidence have all meant I haven't achieved anything in recent years. The black dog brings a lack of motivation that that has impacted negatively on all aspects of my life.

 

I have maintained an interest in the hobby, but only through looking at magazines and RM Web from time to time. Punishing myself is a an issue - as a silly example I stopped myself looking at RM Web for a period of around 12 months...... not because I didn't want to but as I felt "what is the point, you will never achieve anything" so punish yourself...

 

The ultimate outcome is that my low mood and lack of self confidence mean I am 'scared' to try anything. Scared to start a project for fear of failure, with anxiety over making decisions about any project crippling me and causing compete inertia. I just cannot decide what specific project to try and that means I don't start anything.

 

Despite all this, my interest in railways and an element of planning has helped to keep me going im the darkest moments. I have other hobbies which I have managed to maintain somewhat more successfully - playing a musical instrument and following non league football - but I know that a return to modelling would be a positive in terms of practical application, creativity and filling my time in, providing a focus.

 

As I mentioned, I disposed of nearly all my 4mm scale stock a coupleof years ago. I have decided a fresh start in a new scale might help and therefore have acquired a handful of O gauge items. I really want to get back to some form of modelling and think a micro layout could be the answer.

 

Generally I am on the up but there are still extremely difficult days when I feel worthless and low. My aim is to make some progress by the end of 2018, just to have something to show for this wonderful hobby. So a micro layout, a loco and a handful of wagons to shuffle is my goal for the end of the year.

 

Hopefully I can move forward but even if I don't get very far I have at least got back to reading and contributing to RM Web in recent weeks. That does make me feel more positive about the future and it feels I am making progress, even if extremely small. Just contributing and sharing in this online community helps me to feel more worthwhile.

 

Apologies for the somewhat negative nature of this message but reading of others' experience has given me the confidence to share. Thank you to everyone who has told of their experience, it is good to know I am not alone. I realise I am so lucky compared to many in this world, which makes me feel guilty about feeling this way. However, it feels very therapeutic to put things in writing. No doubt a bumpy road is still to follow but hopefully it is a case of a slow onwards and upwards.

 

David

[RJS1977]

Although I have my "modelling mojo" at the moment, the priority modelling jobs all involve soldering and it's too hot to turn the iron on!

[RJS1977]

I have to say that a whiff of Mek Pak and a decent plastic kit 

 

Reminds me of the former colleague of mine who was going through a very quiet spell at work so out of desparation brought a wagon kit in one day and started doing it at his desk!

 

All going well, until the boss came along and hastily shoved the 'evidence' in the pedestal of his desk. Unfortunately the lid wasn't on the liquid poly properly and when he closed the drawer, the bottle fell over.

 

Cue several puzzled colleagues wondering what the strange smell was.... 

[woodenhead]

I know the scared to try feeling well, years of I don't have the time, the space or some other excuse when it was simply I was afraid it and/or I would look stupid. I think it all stemmed from an impulsive decision to weather my trains as a child and I regretted it badly later and since then I think I have managed just once to get a layout past the basic track laying.

 

It's still that way now though I am beginning to make progress but being over 50 I need to get my skates on.

 

At the end of the day, if I cock it up, who will know but me?

[Tiptonian]

Sometimes I like to look at older loco's and investigate what I can do to 'tart' them up abit. Maybe that means fitting a DCC chip, but more often that not its touching up some paint work or adding detail parts. 5 minute jobs really.

 

I did consider doing a small Youtube series of 5 minute modelling jobs once.

 

That is an excellent idea. Of all the model railway videos on youtube, there are very few on basic detailing and improving, or re-modelling in the manor of Corbs, Sandhole, Relaxinghobby and all the other highly imaginative "bashers" on here.

[Dava]

I'm just doing 'little' projects that I can complete, which hopefully can be linked together into something worthwhile.

 

My eyesight and dexterity are not getting better so it can take longer, be frustrating and results not the best I could once achieve.

 

I have bought too many kits, parts, supplies so time to use some of them. I think I enjoy the process of actually completing something and making it work.

 

Latest project will be unveiled if it works out!

 

Dava

[enginelane]

I modelled because it helped me with work, it was totally unrelated and I could pick up and put down. Now retired thought would have more time to model but some days it becomes more like work and I have to put it down and do something else. For me it’s a balance of well being, getting projects done and having satisfaction at the end

[Metr0Land]

I haven't suffered a loss of mojo recently (though have in the past).  However things have conspired recently which may be of interest.

 

Unfortunately I've become my wife's full time carer, and along with rampant growth of the garden, and prolonged hot spells, have found I couldn't find much time for the railway in the garage.  It does mean I can only find 30-40 mins max at a time presently but with a mounting list of to-do projects has pushed me into planning what I'd do with those little sessions.

 

For example here's a Hornby Gresley Coach which I've been working on.  Weather just one side at a time (if I'm lucky I'll do 2, but be satisfied with 1).  Then mask them off and spray the roof.  The come back and do the ends/underframe.  Over the course of a week (or less!) another coach pops out of works.  Success!

 

New

 

Part weathered

 

Complete

 

 

 

 

[tomparryharry]

I'm highly impressed with that coach.

 

Ian.