Jump to content

Please use M,M&M only for topics that do not fit within other forum areas. All topics posted here await admin team approval to ensure they don't belong elsewhere.

Modelling mojo and state of mind


Recommended Posts

The problem with stress and depression (and probably other m.h. issues that I know nowt about,)  is that they are insidious and sneak up on you. (This does not happen with a broken leg, for example.) You may be unaware you have them and/or you may be in denial until a crisis hits. As eventually, given the pressures of life in general and working life in particular, it almost certainly will.

 

My wife spotted I was ill (or nor right) months before I realised.  She kept telling me to take time off work, but I wouldn't, as I was convinced that there was either nothing wrong with me or it was just a low mood that would pass. I wasn't having time off with that! But if I had gone with her advice I might not have become as ill as I eventually did.

Edited by Poggy1165
completing bracket.
  • Agree 1
  • Friendly/supportive 12
Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, laurenceb said:

The trouble with stress related pain is that it creeps up and you don't necessarily realise the cause until you are out of the situation that caused it

It was about 3 months after a stressful situation that I realised just how stressful it had been.

  • Like 3
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

When it came to anxiety and depression with me, the gamechanger was the realisation that basically, I have an introvert personality. This means that I rapidly lose the ability to function and think rationally if I try and cram too much into my schedule, especially through interaction with others through work or socially.

 

The solution to this is quite simple, and involves allowing myself some quiet time to recharge. It is far from being a time of inactivity, instead I'll nip out into the countryside on the bicycle, tinker with my models, or even just  sit in my favourite armchair in silence facing the garden, having a good old think! Allowing myself that space gives me time to process all the information I've received in the big wide world out there, and I plan my next manuevres out there. It is also lovely to live in the moment for some of the time.

 

I appreciate that many of you will have busy schedules and family commitments, but if the above rings true, then do consider allowing yourself some 'you' time. There are plenty of good articles regarding introvert and extrovert personalities on t'internet if you fancy a surf.

Edited by 97406
  • Like 3
  • Friendly/supportive 10
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
19 hours ago, Poggy1165 said:

The problem with stress and depression (and probably other m.h. issues that I know nowt about,)  is that they are insidious and sneak up on you. (This does not happen with a broken leg, for example.) You may be unaware you have them and/or you may be in denial until a crisis hits. As eventually, given the pressures of life in general and working life in particular, it almost certainly will.

 

My wife spotted I was ill (or nor right) months before I realised.  She kept telling me to take time off work, but I wouldn't, as I was convinced that there was either nothing wrong with me or it was just a low mood that would pass. I wasn't having time off with that! But if I had gone with her advice I might not have become as ill as I eventually did.

They do, and as blokes too often we don’t listen early enough. I had a week in hospital back in August (kidneys issue) that might have been prevented had I acted earlier. Cause now diagnosed and awaiting long term solution.

  • Like 1
  • Agree 1
  • Friendly/supportive 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

On 13/11/2021 at 13:09, woodenhead said:

It was for me, many occurrences during my time with the company, stopped when I left.  It was crippling pain, not helped by a hidden condition with my brain that wasn’t discovered until my early forties, but by then the stress related triggers had been resolved.  My brain cannot regulate the pressure within it so if I get stressed or my blood pressure is raised it can lead to problems.

 

 

I was very interested reading this- thanks for sharing the information.  Over the last few years I've developed a couple of stress-triggered medical conditions myself (I had an unpleasant job which got very much on top of me, and some very unsupportive management who wanted rid of me).  I had a couple of fainting spells from the stress, but when I left that job and started a new one which I enjoyed, those medical issues vanished.  Interestingly, they came back with a vengeance after I'd left the newer job and ended up in my current circumstances...

 

Without going into too much details, I developed insomnia, when I did manage to drop-off I sleepwalked, and one night I tumbled down the stairs and injured my chest.  It triggered a condition called Costochondritis where the cartilage swells and forces my ribs apart.  Stress is known to set it off, and in turn I picked up a stomach problem too (thought to be the result of some of the meds they put me on whilst thinking my chest was a heart condition).  It also has to be said that having a stress-induced chest condition isn't helped when you're having to wait 8 months for a Cardiac MRI on the assumption you've a malfunctioning heart aged 33.  All it means after the barrage of tests is that when my chest is stinging, I can at least try and re-assure myself that it almost certainly isn't a heart attack, as I've had all manner of tests to show my heart is generally fine.

 

The interesting thing is that after years of mis-diagnosis and investigations, a pain-management study got hold of me, and they reckon that whilst I do indeed have a physical condition, the years of stressing about it (and the other stuff) have effectively re-wired my nervous system to mis-interpret pain levels.  My brain therefore thinks pain is worse or non-existent depending on the injury or even my mood at the time.  So when I'm stressed, my chest aches abominably, and increasingly I get horrible pressure headaches with it too.  It interprets a relatively minor pain as a major one, which makes me more worried, which sets up a kind of feedback loop until I'm practically passing out.  But then my nerves have odd moments where I don't register any pain at all; I can use a hot-glue gun for example, and not notice at all me accidentally getting molten glue on my fingers.  The doctor on the study gave me a set of exercises to do where I tense, in sequence, the muscle groups starting with my fingertips, working up and down my body, to try and effectively re-wire the relays and normalise how my brain picks up feelings.  The doctor also said do practical and relaxing things like model-making, which is more of an issue of course, as I have to get over the tremendous mental and physical guilt that whilst I'm gluing model kits together I ought to be getting a better paid job, or at the very least doing more housework and DIY...  I've yet to master the balance.

  • Like 1
  • Friendly/supportive 12
Link to post
Share on other sites

I do not usually recommend retail therapy as a means of dealing with the Black Dog, but it has it's place and uses.  I was very depressed on Friday following information from Hermes that they had delivered my eBay order of a Bachmann Ivatt 4MT running chassis which was to be adapted for use with my Collett 1938 31xx project, which included a photo of the package in my doorway.  The next part of the story is almost sell-telling; it wasn't there when I went out to collect it and is no doubt in the possession of some drug-addicted chav scumbag of the sort that infest the area I live in, so, gone.  Hope he drops it on his toe...

 

I managed to find a replacement on the Bay and order it, but my mood was definitely down and it looked like a bleak weekend, but I was coming home from another thing I do on Saturdays (local samba/latin percussion band, great fun) and, with a bit of a wait for the connecting bus, had a browse in an antiques market with a trains & dinky toys type stall, and picked up a very good Hornby J94 for the colliery for a not unreasonable number of beer vouchers.  This has undoubtedly cheered me up no end, saved the weekend, and while retail therapy is at best a false and temporary fix solution, it has worked (for now)!

 

The loco is a superb runner and has already been given a repaint into a freelance grey NCB livery; brilliant!

 

Wouldn't rely on it as a proper approach, though...

  • Friendly/supportive 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
1 hour ago, Northmoor said:

I can make one small recommendation for reducing stress.

 

Never Never Never Never Never use Hermes as a delivery choice.  Their cardboard packaging has more brains than their entire management team.

Problem is the customer rarely has the choice of carrier, but gets whatever suits the sender. I have had  parcels of review books arriving and just being left on the step.

  • Like 1
  • Friendly/supportive 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Northmoor said:

I can make one small recommendation for reducing stress.

 

Never Never Never Never Never use Hermes as a delivery choice.  Their cardboard packaging has more brains than their entire management team.

 

I think I should order some beach balls to be delivered, give the Hermes driver some practise punting them over my 6ft gate as he does with all my parcels if I'm not in.  A few weeks of it, and he could make the next Olympic Beach Volleyball team :)

  • Funny 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hermes, for all their well publicised faults, are not directly responsible for the loss of my chassis, some nameless local scrote (and we have a comprehensive and varied range to choose from) is.  I sort of don’t need revenge, his life is already destroyed and will end badly, but I’d like my chassis

back…

 

The photo shows, in fairness to H, that they delivered.  It might’ve been better had they tried again next day or given me a collection option, but that’s not how they do their thing. 

 

 

  • Friendly/supportive 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
9 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

Hermes, for all their well publicised faults, are not directly responsible for the loss of my chassis, some nameless local scrote (and we have a comprehensive and varied range to choose from) is.  I sort of don’t need revenge, his life is already destroyed and will end badly, but I’d like my chassis

back…

 

The photo shows, in fairness to H, that they delivered.  It might’ve been better had they tried again next day or given me a collection option, but that’s not how they do their thing. 

 

 

Which failed and in my book they (the carrier) are liable by guilt of negligence by merely abandoning your parcel which was not actually delivered, it was just abandoned. They should be duty bound to replace the product. Unfortunately, as I found out as the innocent party fairly expensively in another past instance, common sense and the small print in rules, regulations, and laws don’t always tally.  Hope that somehow you do get recompense and a replacement chassis for the one Hermes have lost whilst in their transit.

 

The carrier business is a farce, just recently promised delivery of an expensive item with a Wednesday time slot, they delivered it on Tuesday when I was out, but luckily a neighbour spotted it.

 

Edited by john new
  • Like 1
  • Agree 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Preaching to the choir, John,  Problem is that this is Hermes' published standard method of working, and, as has been pointed out, as the recipient I have no control over the delivery service that the vendor chooses to use.

 

Farce on not, this is the Future.  We will be encouraged to stay in our homes and order stuff, even our normal groceries, online, and have them delivered.  There will be no more supermarkets, only delivery vans, and we can only hope that the savings accrued to the suppliers by not having retail outlets will be passed to us.  Do you trust these people, and whether you do or not, will you have a viable choice?

  • Like 2
  • Round of applause 3
  • Friendly/supportive 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
On 16/11/2021 at 00:30, The Johnster said:

Preaching to the choir, John,  Problem is that this is Hermes' published standard method of working, and, as has been pointed out, as the recipient I have no control over the delivery service that the vendor chooses to use.

 

Farce on not, this is the Future.  We will be encouraged to stay in our homes and order stuff, even our normal groceries, online, and have them delivered.  There will be no more supermarkets, only delivery vans, and we can only hope that the savings accrued to the suppliers by not having retail outlets will be passed to us.  Do you trust these people, and whether you do or not, will you have a viable choice?

Concur and today have just found another flaw in their systems.

 

We may be out tomorrow when a parcel that may be slightly too big for the letter box arrives. The Hermes register a neighbour address system I have just discovered has a big flaw. Our house is at a cross roads I want to add a neighbour four doors away but in the other named street. No option to add that address. Naff company with a naff system.

 

Edit - when I ordered the goods I had expected it to come Royal Mail.

 

Edited by john new
Add extra note.
  • Like 1
  • Agree 1
  • Friendly/supportive 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I suppose everbody has to have a system and keep to it once it's set up, even if it's a carp system.  The missing Ivatt chassis's replacement has been dispatched and should arrive tomoz courtesy of APC, who I have no reason (yet) to mistrust.  One can of course chose the 'click and collect' option, collecting at your own convenience from a local shop or petrol station, and I prefer this option as it reduces the chance of doorway theft and you don't have to stay in to recieve your parcel.  But in this case the eBay site ticked my chosen collection shop but, when I pressed 'pay now', the item was booked to be sent to my address, so fingers crossed we'll be ok this time around.

 

But this is proving to be a drawback to ordering from eBay.  If the seller does not specify the delivery method, before you pay for the item, how can you make the choice to avoid being at the mercy of dodgy and inefficient operators like Hermes or UPS?  UPS used to be one of the best in the business, but since they've started farming out household deliverys to casual labour (they pay peanuts so they ge monkeys) have become one of the worst, and most expensive. 

  • Like 1
  • Agree 1
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm fortunate enought to have a post office a short walk away, getting stuff dropped in from Amazon and not having to worry about being in is a godsend. Also amazon seem to have free delivery when it'd cost to deliver it home the same day.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
On 16/11/2021 at 00:47, Ben B said:

 

I was very interested reading this- thanks for sharing the information.  Over the last few years I've developed a couple of stress-triggered medical conditions myself (I had an unpleasant job which got very much on top of me, and some very unsupportive management who wanted rid of me).  I had a couple of fainting spells from the stress, but when I left that job and started a new one which I enjoyed, those medical issues vanished.  Interestingly, they came back with a vengeance after I'd left the newer job and ended up in my current circumstances...

 

Without going into too much details, I developed insomnia, when I did manage to drop-off I sleepwalked, and one night I tumbled down the stairs and injured my chest.  It triggered a condition called Costochondritis where the cartilage swells and forces my ribs apart.  Stress is known to set it off, and in turn I picked up a stomach problem too (thought to be the result of some of the meds they put me on whilst thinking my chest was a heart condition).  It also has to be said that having a stress-induced chest condition isn't helped when you're having to wait 8 months for a Cardiac MRI on the assumption you've a malfunctioning heart aged 33.  All it means after the barrage of tests is that when my chest is stinging, I can at least try and re-assure myself that it almost certainly isn't a heart attack, as I've had all manner of tests to show my heart is generally fine.

 

The interesting thing is that after years of mis-diagnosis and investigations, a pain-management study got hold of me, and they reckon that whilst I do indeed have a physical condition, the years of stressing about it (and the other stuff) have effectively re-wired my nervous system to mis-interpret pain levels.  My brain therefore thinks pain is worse or non-existent depending on the injury or even my mood at the time.  So when I'm stressed, my chest aches abominably, and increasingly I get horrible pressure headaches with it too.  It interprets a relatively minor pain as a major one, which makes me more worried, which sets up a kind of feedback loop until I'm practically passing out.  But then my nerves have odd moments where I don't register any pain at all; I can use a hot-glue gun for example, and not notice at all me accidentally getting molten glue on my fingers.  The doctor on the study gave me a set of exercises to do where I tense, in sequence, the muscle groups starting with my fingertips, working up and down my body, to try and effectively re-wire the relays and normalise how my brain picks up feelings.  The doctor also said do practical and relaxing things like model-making, which is more of an issue of course, as I have to get over the tremendous mental and physical guilt that whilst I'm gluing model kits together I ought to be getting a better paid job, or at the very least doing more housework and DIY...  I've yet to master the balance.

 

I worked in relatively high pressure roles for most of my working life and developed a tendency to absorb stress without apparent affect ill effect until I experienced burnout on completion of a task, received assistance or a colleague told me they could not understand how I could keep my head under such pressure.

 

The problem became more persistent after moving from the private to the public sector about 10 years ago with very high levels of personal workload and problems with IT system reliability a recurring problem. Stress management was based on 'building resilience" and providing 'stress leave" while failing to resolve the underlying problems, a workplace culture developed of people working long hours and taking work home to cope with increasing levels of workload as the office operated under strength and system problems remained un-filled, a close analogy is boiling a frog.

 

Going back to Ben Bs post, I began to experience joint pain and fatigue shortly before my 60th birthday and continued to develop physical symptoms including chest pain and a trip to an Emergency Room where the doctor suspected that I had Costochondritis. My physical symptoms continued to worsen as the year progressed deterioration in an underlying condition, taking longer to recover from colds but the penny failed to drop.

 

Pressure increased in the second half of the year more pressure to increase productivity under a new Business Plan and a new younger manager trying to impress his boss. 

I thought I had things under control (for that is what I do), that I was in the right, had faith in the "systems and processes" had the union behind me and above all did not want to walk away until our finances were in a better position  when we closed some business deals.

 

The situation with my manager continued to worsen, my symptoms become more psychological in nature, I began to realise that I was in a 'no-win" situation over Christmas started to become obsessed with the whole situation and experienced difficulty sleeping but still  continued to believe that I was in control and would not back down until the penny finally dropped four weeks later I experienced a panic attack and had to literally runout of the office to avoid breaking down and crying.

 

I returned after 3 weeks stress leave and went 'through the motions" for another 6 weeks before the deals were closed and I felt that I could afford to 'walk away"

 

It was a crazy hectic year my relief from the stress at work was renovating a house one of our business deals.

 

The most ironical thing about the whole episode was that I left the construction industry 20 years ago at the peak of my career as a project manager to become a health and safety inspector in order to get "a secure pensionable job" and avoid the booms and busts of the construction industry and ended up finding out that it was pretty much do as I say not what I do when it comes to managing stress in the public sector, my employer was apparently not prepared to consider stress unless I produced a specialist diagnosis

 

In hindsight I should have walked when my instincts told me regardless of the consequences, its taken me four years to recover mentally and physically and we may never recover financially but at least I am beginning to accept my limitations.

 

I should have turned to specialist help earlier or insisted on a referral when I sought medical attention after the anxiety attack , I ended up changing my GP he showed little interest I told him that the emergency doctor suspected Costochondritis and apart from granting a medical cert was of limited help in responding to my stress.

 

I guess my best advice is follow you instincts and get out if your gut tells you, change your GP if you believe that they are not providing a good service, get a union involved or an employment advocate involved in case your employer decides to play hard ball. 

 

 

  • Friendly/supportive 13
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...