Modelling mojo and state of mind

[leopardml2341]

12 minutes ago, john new said:

If you can do it, and your body clock/biorhythms adjusts to the change (some don’t) put the alarm clock forward half an hour, shortens any dark mornings. As I am retired it isn’t generally a forced waking but making big mental adjustment to the time you think you need to be up and dressed (habitual) helps in the dark mornings of winter. 

TBH, as an individual, dark mornings don't biother me too much. I was just commenting on the 'oddity' of the science

 

[MJI]

On 21/12/2021 at 17:40, Northmoor said:

I will endorse this recommendation completely.  About 6-7 years ago I suddenly got severe stomach discomfort that made me very short of breath and I spent a night in A&E to confirm it wasn't a heart attack.  It wasn't, it was a hiatus hernia (probably stress-related) but by chance, the on-call doctor that night was a geriatric specialist (despite me being in my early 40s at the time), who spotted something in my blood results and diagnosed Pernicious Anaemia.  I was put on B12 injections twice a week for several weeks, which progressively reduced to quarterly which I am on for life.  I also take iron tablets daily, am a bit more careful about my diet (more cereals and leafy green veg) and have swapped some of my daily coffee for tea (which doesn't suppress absorption of iron).  

 

It causes the symptoms you describe and others; I thought I was still run down 12 weeks after a cold, then nearly passed out on the train one morning and had got to the stage where I could barely walk 100yds without feeling exhausted.  For a couple of years, I had found myself getting forgetful of names, not remembering a famous actor's name was one thing but the first name of someone I'd worked across a desk for two years, was another.  It is why doctors, when relatives worry about signs of dementia in elderly relatives, first do a blood test, because many of the symptoms of aneamia and dementia are similar.

 

 

 

On 21/12/2021 at 19:33, MrWolf said:

That's interesting, I have been talking to a friend of mine today, just turned 66 and suffering from the same symptoms as you. The doctor has put him on Ferric tablets as of today because he has anaemia. He has always eaten healthy, exercised, walks and cycles daily and his only vice is the occasional cigarette, which is a hangover from bored hours sitting in the loco men's mess awaiting a driving turn thirty years ago.

 

 

I have done more digging and apart from not eating meat (I had to insist I was not a veggie) that a major factor is stomach acid shortage.

 

I have cold turkeyed my H2 inhibitors again, yes I sleep better with them but I will be calling NICE up in the new year.

 

I was put on PPIs about a decade ago, ended up in hospital on intravenous antibiotics.

 

Recently found for some people they cause https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achlorhydria probably what happened to me.

 

I did have H2 inhibitors but they were stopped I was on Ranatidine, it worked.

 

Ended on on worse H2 inhibitors not as bad as PPIs but worse than Ranatidine.

 

So now on Rennies and Gaviscon and no blockers.

 

 

 

[Coldgunner]

Been a while since I've returned to this thread, but I come back at my lowest eb. Got the awful news that my dad has terminal lung cancer that's spreading fast, chemo will be too much for him and care will be palliative. Hopefully we get several months, but it could be a matter of weeks. We are devastated as you can imagine. Friends have rallied around, showing incredible support.

 

I have broken down a few times and have developed and almost split personality to cope with it. There's my emotional side that is suffering hard, then there is my practical side that's kicking in. The latter serves a good distraction, trying to get business all tied up, preparing things etc.

 

I know that a 1000 ton freight train of emotions is going to hit me when the end comes.

 

At the moment, my models are not just toys, but they're my escape from my current reality.

Edited February 9, 2022 by Coldgunner

[Dava]

Very sorry to hear that, all our thoughts with you.

 

It won’t help now, but there are times you just have to cope with and keep going day by day, doing the best you can for Dad and family. 
 

Dava

Edited February 9, 2022 by Dava
Ads & video hid text

[Coldgunner]

Thank you, I understand its an inevitability, just don't think you're ever 'ready'.

[chrisf]

Coldgunnner, cancer is evil - no two ways about it.  It is not just the patient that suffers but those left behind.  My late father contracted lung cancer 20 years after he gave up smoking.  How cruel is that?  He was given between six and nine months after diagnosis but perhaps mercifully lasted only three.  Almost 17 years after his passing it still hurts.  I wish there was something I could say that would be of comfort to you.

 

Chris

[MrWolf]

Coldgunner you have my sympathies. My father contracted cancer a few years back. I was in Africa and by the time I could be contacted and get back to England his illness was too far ahead for him to be more than semi conscious. It was only a few days before he passed. 

Make the most of any time you can spend with him and don't give up on anything that you do in life, never waste a day, I'm sure he wouldn't want that.

[The Johnster]

My absolute and full sympathy, Coldgunner.  I lost my mum to lung cancer, and I am not going to tell you that it was anything other than the most horrible time of my life.  Take it a day at a time, and spend as much quality time with him as you can, especially the next few weeks while he can still be taken out on his good days and some shared enjoyment can still be had.  Having to watch him deteriorate and feeling powerless to do anything to help is devastating, but you will have a chance to help him sort his affairs and to say your goodbyes.  Try to reserve some respite time for yourself if you can; this will be difficult, though perhaps less so in the very final stages when the palliative care medication will mean that he is asleep for much of the time.  It may seem selfish, but you will be better able to care for him if you take some time out to prevent yourself from degenerating into a physical and emotional basket case. 

 

Mum developed a taste for bottled Mackeson in the final stages, the only nutrition she could keep down, but that was after chemo which tbh messed her up perhaps more than it was worth.  She was diagnosed and given a year, and had a year almost to the day, but she was capable of being taken out to see rellys or to view spots for about 7 months on her good days, then the chemo started and it went fairly rapidy downhill from there.

 

 

Edited February 10, 2022 by The Johnster

[sb67]

Thinking of you and your family @Coldgunner I've read your post with a tear in my eye, my Dads passing lasted 12 weeks and nothing prepared me for the inevitable, I prob was closer to him than when he was fit and healthy, the only time I ever told him I loved him was when he was in the ICU.  I just took each day as it came and dealt with any emotions as they appeared, personally I couldn't focus on much else than caring for my Dad and looking after my Mum, strangely enough at the end I didn't feel any emotion for months maybe a year or so after, there's no rules about grief.  

Take care of yourself .

 

Steve. 

[BR traction instructor]

All good wishes for getting through this dark period. I was there 6 years ago as my wife failed to recover from breast cancer. The strongest & brightest memories that recur from that period are of ensuring that all was in place care wise to get her home for those final 2/3 weeks. Throwing the house open to all friends & family so that there was a constant procession of good wishes and shared experience to her bedside. The care & nursing staff had to repeatedly evict numerous well wishers just to get their work done. Preparing her favourite foods/drinks, to make every mealtime one that she looked forward to. Ensuring that all of her wishes to make the funeral a celebration of her life were followed and everyone encouraged to attend/linger afterwards at the wake to remember and share the mixed emotions of the day.

 

I still get comments from those that attended, hoping that their departure might be in similar style.

 

Choosing the strongest personalities best able to deliver tributes, positive reflection and even some humour to the church service was vital in striking that note of celebration of her life. Around 50% of the overflowing congregation wore black, whilst the remainder followed her instructions to wear the most colourful outfit in their wardrobe.

 

Her choice to have me scatter the ashes from her ten favourite coastal viewpoints gives pleasant memories whenever I’m near one…there being no marked grave or stone in a churchyard.

 

BeRTIe

Edited February 12, 2022 by BR traction instructor

[Phil Bullock]

So sorry to hear this Coldgunner. It is a horrible thing to have to deal with to be told that a relative or someone else close to you is afflicted with cancer and it is even worse if their departure comes rapidly after as you do not get time to deal with the issues before grief is superimposed.

 

I know you have had other issues to deal with but remember these are your own feelings. Others will have developed coping strategies that may be different to yours and it is important not to beat yourself up if you don’t feel exactly the same. Personal strength can be key for both you and your father and that can come from mutual support. 
 

I lost my mother far too early 23 years ago to cancer over two years. Because of my professional involvement I knew the inevitable immediately but had to carry that myself as others …. Especially Mum …. Needed to believe otherwise. A strategy of planning short and long term activities worked well … easy things to do next week and a trip to Africa next year. The latter was never going to be credible but gave Mum strength thinking and talking about it. 
 

That opens another can of worms …. Untruths. We were peddling them to Mum but to do otherwise would have felt brutal and unfair. So we went on with them and she gained mental strength with them in mind…. Until realisation dawned, at which point it was a rapid downhill journey.

 

But that brings me to another point that is key for you. You may be faced with some challenging decisions and when you look back you may wonder if you did the right thing. Make sure that you help yourself by gathering as much information as you need to inform those decisions so that when you look. back you can assure yourself you did the best that was possible in very difficult circumstances.

 

These were my own circumstances and I certainly don’t advocate that yours might be similar. But if these thoughts … and those of others above …. Help you evolve a coping strategy of your own then that might help.

 

You are not alone …. amongst friends here, don’t hesitate to post publicly or PM if it is what helps you. I know it sounds glib but please try to keep strong yourself, this is a huge challenge. 
 

Stay safe

 

Phil

[Chrisr40]

We have a feature in our company magazine called behind the person. I have just been invited to submit an article about me and used the platform to explain how beneficial hobbies are and how model railways helped to pull me out of depression and anxiety problems. I am spreading the good word.

[steve fay]

I’ve recently wrote an article about the positive effects of modelling and hobbies in general on our mental health in the Gauge O guild gazette 

[Coldgunner]

Dad passed away yesterday. Mum went to see him in the morning and he was ok all things considered, he was tired and the nurses put him down for a sleep and he passed away. We're utterly lost. I saw him on Tuesday, and I think my last words were 'I'll see you later'.

 

Heartbroken

[cctransuk]

26 minutes ago, Coldgunner said:

Dad passed away yesterday.

 

My condolences to you - my (nearly) centenarian father passed away during the pandemic - though not from Covid.

 

He was in a care home, and lockdown prevented all family contact - I honestly think he decided that life was no longer worth living.

 

Sad times!

 

John Isherwood.

[AndyB]

Sincere condolences for your loss. 

[08221]

@Coldgunner so sorry to hear your sad news and for your loss.

 

We are all here to support you, stay strong and take care of yourself please .

 

Feel free to PM me at anytime if that helps you.

Edited February 17, 2022 by 08221

[laurenceb]

Condolences

[woodenhead]

Condolences Coldgunner.

 

Both my parents went quite quickly but peacefully from terminal illnesses, indeed my father had been in the shower by himself at the hospital the morning he passed and was gone several hours later in his bed, going to sleep and not waking up.

 

Watching someone pass or being told they have passed and not being there are both difficult to deal with.  Having done both neither are easy but knowing their passing was peaceful was all I could wish for and is what they got, and it sounds like that is how your father passed.

[Phil Bullock]

@Coldgunner so sorry to hear that. You are amongst friends here …. If anything can be done to help don’t hesitate to get in touch . 

[The Johnster]

My condolences as well, CG. 

[Blandford1969]

My condolences 

[Florence Locomotive Works]

A few days ago, I found myself looking at a picture of an BR lined green LMS Duchess descending Shap in 7mm scale. And I felt something along the lines of disgust when looking at this photo. Not because I have anything against BR liveried Duchesses, or Shap or anything, but because it seems that Im starting to find railway modeling or anything to do with locomotives a severely taxing endeavor, or at least I think that’s the right word. For example, I’m struggling to even find the motivation to run my personal favorite engines, as (now) it seems like a lot of effort to go through for not very much return.

 

I have tried taking breaks before, but they never seem to work and often only make it worse. So I ask if yee, be there a remedy for this state of mind?

 

Douglas

[MrWolf]

That sounds like a case of the doom. I know I'm struggling when I lose interest in the things I have always done, the things that are a part of me. I can spot it straight away when the Memsahib goes off the rails too and vise versa.

Speak to your doctor about the loss of interest in what normally makes you happy.

If you're lacking energy in general too, ask for a blood MOT, it may be that you have a deficiency of vitamin D or B.

[Coldgunner]

I know how you feel FLW (I think). Case of the black dog for me. Not interested in railways, going out or anything else. Just sit indoors a lot.