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The Rivet Police: Part 1 - Dawn Raid


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You want to be careful.  Word in the Monkey and Dog Takeaway is that most of the Rivet Police are members of the Finescale Brigade on the side and are not above slipping a packet of rail joiners into your morning porridge if you so much as stand with your feet too close together.

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23 hours ago, KalKat said:

You missed out the kitchen door leading to the herb garden...

That was discretion. Some police take quite an interest in 'herb' gardens. DG is in sufficient grief as things stand, without alerting other departments to further 'matters of interest'.

 

Our force is always on the look out for herb gardens, and unintentionally got a look at my layout as a result. Fortunately they didn't have the expertise on hand to spot a V2 with an eight wheel GNR pattern coal rail tender, or the N7 with a 56xx underframe and wheels, and I think I got away with the coaches that have different liveries either side.

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There ought to be a film of this : "Who Framed Ducking Giraffe?"

Have you started negociating the film rights?

 

Wanted: Actors with experience of working with trains.

Here's a few we could put in the frame:

 

Jim Broadbent (The Great Train Robbery)

Amy Schumer (Trainwreck)

Euan McGregor (Trainspotting)

Burt Lancaster (The Train)

John Wayne (The Train Robbers)

Danny DeVito (Throw Momma From The Train)

Emily Blunt (The Girl on the Train)

 

Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean's Holiday) perhaps?

And Bob Hoskins of course.

 

Any more?

 

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Harrison Ford for the magnificent train wreck in 'The Fugitive', and David Jansen, the original Dr Kimble from the tv series for an episode where he commandeers a train to rescue a town from an oil well fire just before the timber trestle collapses with the baddies on the train.  A loco at Barry scrapyard for many years carried the graffito 'Kimble is innocent' for many years on the tender, Stanier 8F IIRC.

 

Frank Sinatra (Von Ryan's Express), but Burt Lancaster should be disbarred despite his magnificent contribution to 'The Train' because of his participation in 'The Cassandra Crossing', the biggest load of railway bo**ocks in history.  Similar banning of Sophia Loren's part in 'Arabesque' on Crumlin Viaduct, as she is also guilty of serious Cassandra offences.

 

Stephen Ward for wrecking a 14xx in 'Young Winston' at Craig y Nos.  And the entire cast of 'The Ladykillers', but especially the superbly evil Alastair Sim, who also appeared in 'The Great St Trinian's Train Robbery'.  Sean Connery as Bond on the Orient Express in 'From Russia With Love', and anyone who ever played John Hannay in any version of 'The 39 Steps'.

 

And don't get me started on Jenny Agutter.  Too late, excuse me, must go for cold shower...  

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  • That's great guys, good list of train movies. Harrison Ford's train crash in The Fugitive  

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPzWRNV9PMo

 

 

must surely be the best. Yes I know, Don't call me Shirley. The wreck is still there apparently, which is pretty bad.

 

  • Thanks so much to The Johnster for Jenny Agutter, I've hastily revised Part 2 and put her in Riot Control. Daddy my daddy? From The Railway Children? Stop it I'm welling up already.
  • I really think we should grass up 34theletterbetweenB&D, his crimes and misdemeanours look beyond the pale. More to the point they’re subtle and deep-rooted, you couldn’t just pass them off as a drunken foray on ebay like my Eastern and Western region mk3 coaches. However, as we shall see in part 2, Modeller's Prison is not such a bad place, what with certain Music Industry sponsors who see we're alright - the model railway brotherhood looks after its own...
  • Further to Clive Mortimore's excellent suggestion, I'm soon to bring out a complete range of mechandise, including 

485304584_thegiraffeisinnocent.png.cc68ed51600667777ea76b83ccc2adba.png

 and

 

1791175118_thetriangone.png.0c5e580bd0a3c67b0038e5f8dcddeba3.png

 

 

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46 minutes ago, Ducking Giraffe said:

Any competent investigator having recognised my MO would find loads more. The examples were the ones that happened to be on view... Thankfully the tide of ever better choice in RTR has enabled some of my wilder forays to be safely buried. There is now no evidence of a Lima class 40 body on an adapted Bachmann Peak mechanism, a recylindered Hornby 8F mechanism powering a much modified Replica B1 body for an O1, and so forth; although plenty of Dapol LMS van bodies on any cheaply available 10' wb underframe and damn the brake gear fit are still much in evidence. I am glad to see that the durance might not be so vile...

 

54 minutes ago, Ducking Giraffe said:
  • Thanks so much to The Johnster for Jenny Agutter, I've hastily revised Part 2 and put her in Riot Control. Daddy my daddy? From The Railway Children? Stop it I'm welling up already...
  •  

This though is as nothing to the lady in life, whom I encountered when she was with child, and consequently nicely developed topside...

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Stop it! You're only making it worse for yourself.

 

Personally, when I was banged to rights, it was A Fair Cop:

 

Modeller's Prosecution Service Exhibit 1

Picture1.jpg.bf4a52b38b5977a491c4498c3ee6afbc.jpg

Oh s*d it, they all look the same to me and I'm not paying 40 quid for a flippin' coach!

 

Modeller's Prosecution Service Exhibit 2

Picture2.jpg.ebe84e5787c00a4c7005bee84c29fd51.jpg

 

Modeller's Prosecution Service Exhibit 3

image.png.6d01d31d1ae09d55ea0ff792e50d5c10.png

That's the trouble with DC, your crimes are easy to spot.

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18 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

Is it obligatory to add a Rivet Counter Detector Unit?

 

 

WHAT did I say..???!!! Yet again, utterly the wrong colour. :rolleyes: :shout: :nono:

 

:jester:

 

Edit: Perhaps we need a Confessional Thread, where we can post photos of our modelling crimes, and seek leniency on the grounds of Diminished Responsibility - because what we'd really like is beyond our skill to model, or space available, too expensive, or just not available R-T-R.?

 

Here's one of mine. I confess I built a US-outline layout in O Scale but used Peco bullhead track.

000043795712.Jpeg.46d9f18203eab97fbf6d3fb58bc75c30.Jpeg

Edited by F-UnitMad
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KeithMacdonald I think you're trying to pull a fast one on us here, that looks all too much like a Triang R567 Battlespace command radar tracking car in heavy disguise.

 

Triang-R567-Battle-space-Radar-Tracking-Command-Car.jpg.ef38e355470a0c207f86b46bfcf9073a.jpg

 

For goodness sake man keep it quiet, that's six months minimum if they even catch you with that in your eBay watch list!

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On 16/12/2019 at 11:34, Ducking Giraffe said:

I don’t think we should be too hard on Eric at no 52, he has actually been a good friend in the past, lending a cup of static grass on a Sunday evening when I've run out. Initially I thought it was him who dobbed me in, hoping to get in with The Wife by extolling the virtues of a reduced track gauge layout 1/3rd of the size, leaving room in the shed for a display of  her Franklin Mint Princess Diana memorial figurines. 

 

 

As they say, it isn't what you've got, it's what you do with it.

 

Andi

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2 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

WHAT did I say..???!!! Yet again, utterly the wrong colour. :rolleyes: :shout: :nono:

 

:jester:

 

Edit: Perhaps we need a Confessional Thread, where we can post photos of our modelling crimes, and seek leniency on the grounds of Diminished Responsibility - because what we'd really like is beyond our skill to model, or space available, too expensive, or just not available R-T-R.?

 

Here's one of mine. I confess I built a US-outline layout in O Scale but used Peco bullhead track.

000043795712.Jpeg.46d9f18203eab97fbf6d3fb58bc75c30.Jpeg

 

At least you can claim that you got the yankee track wriggles right, that should get you a couple of months reprieve off you sentence.

 

Regards

Julian

 

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3 hours ago, Ducking Giraffe said:

KeithMacdonald I think you're trying to pull a fast one on us here, that looks all too much like a Triang R567 Battlespace command radar tracking car in heavy disguise.

 

Triang-R567-Battle-space-Radar-Tracking-Command-Car.jpg.ef38e355470a0c207f86b46bfcf9073a.jpg

 

For goodness sake man keep it quiet, that's six months minimum if they even catch you with that in your eBay watch list!

 

Now that is very definitely a item to go onto a wishlist! Can we forward this to (A) Mr. McDermott and his team, and (B) Hornby. What a send up!

 

PC Dockson of Dick Green.

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Wonderfully festive!!!

Can't wait for part 2 just, what I need to counteract the Xmas grumps.

 

On a slightly more serious note I have found you have to be careful with the RCTS as well. Railways Crime Terror Squad.

I was questioned at an exhibition as to why my J72 was running with a number which was actually allocated to a different type of engine.

My response was that I occasionally put the wrong numbers on engines just to see if people are paying attention. 

 

He seemed bemused by my response and wandered off writing in a little notebook.    [True Story]

 

Where will it all end???? 

It won't be long before Random Flocking is a criminal offence.

 

SAD:(

 

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Ducking Giraffe said:

All they need now is a coat of arms....

 

I've found a copy of their letterhead. "Per Parva, Per Magna" - is that close enough?

 

Oh, alright, I'll confess, it was a Warning Letter. They'd noticed my post on An Idiot's Guide to Acrylic Paints? and rumbled I'd used Southern Region Green instead of Malichite Green.

 

image.png.a231093685f8d3a8c0df75a7f93b3557.png

 

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