The Night Mail

[br2975]

The subject of 'gongs'

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Many moons ago,  I was invited to a medal ceremony at our Police HQ for the award of my Long Service & Good Conduct medal(s).

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Present was the Lord Lieutenant, Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable and an Assistant Chief Constable (acting as master of ceremonies).

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As with those who had gone before me, my name was read out, with a brief pen picture of my service to date.

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The ACC was deeply embarrassed as I laughed at him, as he told of my wonderous career so far.

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Why ?

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Because at the time my 'good conduct' was being recognised I was on a year long sabbatical - forcibly moved from my post, and normal station, whilst a long drawn out investigation was carried out into allegations made against me.

AND

The senior officer responsible for moving me, was telling the gathered throng, and dignitaries how good I was at my job !

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You couldn't make it up - but then, where the police are concerned, you don't need to.

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Anyway, I was totally exonerated, whence a different ACC informed me "you were the victim of internal politics"

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[Tony_S]

There wasn’t much “Secret Squirrel” activity in my career but once I was asked to go down to a school and I would be given some written instructions and asked to follow them. Now I knew this school used a computer system I wasn’t particularly knowledgeable about but was told (by a manager) that would be an advantage. So I was ushered in to the deputy heads office and asked to access their admin system using the instructions on a piece of paper.  I did this successfully and said something like “OK, so what do I do now?”  There seemed to be a bit of surprise and they asked what I had done. I said I followed the instructions provided. It turned out that a senior teacher who used to be responsible for the system had left, perhaps not with the  best attitude to his then colleagues. He was supposed to document everything and had done so. However for some reason his former colleagues had not followed his instructions exactly and had assumed he was being difficult and they were even considering further action possibly legal of some kind. 

[br2975]

Re; Hippo's  tale of  'competing' agencies.

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I have lost count of the number of operations I was involved over 40yrs where different departments, groups or agencies failed to cooperate or share intelligence or information.

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All seemed to believe in "knowledge is power"

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Whereas, "failing to plan, is, planning to fail"

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At the opposite end of the spectrum, another anecdote.

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Together with my DI and DS we were looking out of the office window, into the street below when a car pulled up, and the well known local villain driving alighted and came into the station to sign his bail.

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"He's a ******** disqualified driver", blurts out my boss, who instantly phones downstairs and tells a uniform PC to head off up the street, stop the scroat, and nick him for "driving whilst disqualified" (the power of arrest at that time was 'found committing' and 'in uniform').

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We watch as the bobby hot foots up the street, then the scroat gets into his car and moves off - to be immediately stopped by the officer.

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A conversation takes place between the officer and the driver, before the car moves off and the officer returns to the station alone.

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"What the ***" scream my DI who saw a bargaining chip and possible information disappearing off up the street.

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The experienced PC was summoned to the office, to explain his lack of action.

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"I told him he was disqualified, and went to arrest him, but he said - I'm a target for the Regional Crime Squad, and if you arrest me you'll blow their job !"

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So the next day, when he came to sign bail, I nicked him !

 

[Tony_S]

1 minute ago, br2975 said:

Regional Crime Squad,

My brother used to live on a street with a very active Neighbourhood Watch. Suspicious looking characters were seen sitting about in a car. The local police responded to be told they were Regional Crime Squad and the local police had compromised their surveillance. 

[Happy Hippo]

2 hours ago, Tony_S said:

My brother used to live on a street with a very active Neighbourhood Watch. Suspicious looking characters were seen sitting about in a car. The local police responded to be told they were Regional Crime Squad and the local police had compromised their surveillance. 

The whole idea of a covert surveillance operation is to do it without getting seen.

 

Again, too many TV dramas see a CS operation as sitting the car on a street corner with your oppo drinking tea and eating burgers.

 

In this day and age,  with the sophisticated technology that is available, any surveillance ought to be completely invisible.

 

Perhaps it is the requirement for 'signing off' on the use of electronic devices, to make sure the letter of the law is adhered to, that leads to an attempt at a cheap and cheerful solution that circumvents the need for a huge paper mountain.

[Winslow Boy]

I have noticed over my career that there is always a battle going on between the people who actually do the work and the people who monitor/assist them.

 

So you get a system designed to supposedly ensure that everything is recorded so as to limit the possibility of something going wrong. There's great cheers and applause allround because the system reduces costs and the number of errors. However after a short while costs start to go back up. Nobody can understand why until someone asks the people using the system. It turns out that they have worked out a way of getting around the checks the system had in place because they weren't able to do there job.

[Happy Hippo]

5 hours ago, br2975 said:

The subject of 'gongs'.

Many moons ago,  I was invited to a medal ceremony at our Police HQ for the award of my Long Service & Good Conduct medal(s).

 The LS&GC: Known in military circles as '16 years undetected crime'.

 

I'm pretty sure my brother has one................

 

I don't!

[Winslow Boy]

55 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

 The LS&GC: Known in military circles as '16 years undetected crime'.

 

I'm pretty sure my brother has one................

 

I don't!

 

Which of course Mr H requires the question 'and why haven't you got one?' to which the response is........?

[br2975]

1 hour ago, Happy Hippo said:

 The LS&GC: Known in military circles as '16 years undetected crime'.

 

I'm pretty sure my brother has one................

 

I don't!

He would have qualified  after 22 years in our mob.

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Which equates to 25 or 27 years in South Wales.

[Happy Hippo]

31 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

Which of course Mr H requires the question 'and why haven't you got one?' to which the response is........?

I was commissioned before I was eligible  to recieve the LS&GC, and was therefore not awarded one.

 

During my time Officers were not rewarded for their conduct which was supposed to be impeccable at all time and therefore did not warrant the issue of a medal.  The exceptions being those soldiers who had completed the 16 years service prior to being selected for a  Late Entry commission on their merit.

 

However, after I had left the Army it was decided that Officers should and would get the LS&GC if they were so entitled.  When announced it was a bit like the Platinum Jubilee saga, and the MoD decided that it was too difficult and expensive to award them retrospectively to those who'd already left their respective service but who would otherwise have qualified for the award.

Edited January 20, 2022 by Happy Hippo
Rumours of me being a very naughty boy are completely without truth!

[Winslow Boy]

12 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I was commissioned before I was eligible  to recieve the LS&GC, and was therefore not awarded one.

 

During my time Officers were not rewarded for their conduct which was supposed to be impeccable at all time and therefore did not warrant the issue of a medal.  The exceptions being those soldiers who had completed the 16 years service prior to being selected for a  Late Entry commission on their merit.

 

However, after I had left the Army it was decided that Officers should and would get the LS&GC if they were so entitled.  When announced it was a bit like the Platinum Jubilee saga, and the MoD decided that it was too difficult and expensive to award them retrospectively to those who'd already left their respective service but who would otherwise have qualified for the award.

 

So from that we can assume that a) you had too many medals already or b) got caught snaffling the colonels leaving cake and were discharged under the little know clause of 'cake before queen'.

[jamie92208]

I even managed the 22 years if undetected crime medal. I didn't have rnough service in for the Silver jubilee medal in 77, they were rationed.  I did get the golden jubilee gong which seriously annoyed some senior people as at that time I was on my 3 months of fully paid leave prior to retirement, using up all my accumulated  overtime and rest days in lieu.  I made a fuss just to annoy them even more and with bad grace I was given it. 

 

Jamie.  

 

 

[Happy Hippo]

39 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

So from that we can assume that a) you had too many medals already or b) got caught snaffling the colonels leaving cake and were discharged under the little know clause of 'cake before queen'.

a.  You can never have enough medals: If I stand on the top of my medal pile I can almost see Jamie's barn.

 

b.  Never got caught doing that, although I nearly got caught snaffling his daughter.

[PupCam]

On 19/01/2022 at 09:27, br2975 said:

"And now for something completely different......"

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My son and his colleagues playing football on pack ice, at 84'N

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The players required  "security" measures, in the form of three other crew members, with rifles.

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There was a fear of a pitch invasion, by polar bears !

 

And I thought @polybear was too busy plastering to go sniffing around boats parked up in pack-ice!

 

[Happy Hippo]

5 minutes ago, PupCam said:

 

And I thought @polybear was too busy plastering to go sniffing around boats parked up in pack-ice!

 

Whilst they were outside, he was inside carefully sorting through their cake supplies.

 

Never underestimate his guile and cunning when he is high on cinnamon and cranberry fumes.

[PupCam]

10 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

Whilst they were outside, he was inside carefully sorting through their cake supplies.

 

Never underestimate his guile and cunning when he is high on cinnamon and cranberry fumes.

 

"Smarter than the average bear!"  

 

Oh no, that was Yogi

[Winslow Boy]

26 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

Whilst they were outside, he was inside carefully sorting through their cake supplies.

 

Never underestimate his guile and cunning when he is high on cinnamon and cranberry fumes.

 

Don't you mean LD. It's terrifying seeing a bear high on concentrated Lemon Drizzle.

[Oldddudders]

4 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

 It's terrifying seeing a bear 

So I understand. 

[AndyID]

As I was born a bit too late for National Service my military career was limited to a few years in the Wolf Cubs and the Boy Scouts. But things are usually just as bad in industry. My main claim to fame was that I was quite good at getting to the root of problems and suppressing inter-departmental finger-pointing. Sometimes it was hard to believe these people were actually working for the same company. Any sort of joint-venture was ten times worse

[AndyID]

20 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

Don't you mean LD. It's terrifying seeing a bear high on concentrated Lemon Drizzle.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8Fqin1VigU

 

[Tony_S]

1 hour ago, Happy Hippo said:

I nearly got caught snaffling his daughter.

I only know one person who was the daughter of a Colonel. I gather she was a rather wild child. Once she was picked up by the German police for some sort of underage drinking offence and the police contacted her Dad and he said he wasn’t coming to get her and they should lock  her up over night. When I knew her she ran the first 15 Rugby team at the school she worked in where she taught physics.

Edited January 20, 2022 by Tony_S

[AndyID]

We are straying into very dangerous territory here. For goodness sake don't mention any admirals' daughters.

[PupCam]

19 minutes ago, AndyID said:

We are straying into very dangerous territory here. For goodness sake don't mention any admirals' daughters.

 

"She was only the Admiral's daughter but she knew ....... "

 

Enough already!

[br2975]

She was only the Admiral's daughter....................but her naval base was full of seamen ?

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I sense a RMWeb suspension looming..............................

 

[SM42]

Changing subject before it's too late.

Remember that wall I was supposed to paint before Christmas? 

 

Well I've finished 

 

Andy

Edited January 20, 2022 by SM42