Proceedings of the Castle Aching Parish Council, 1905

[Regularity]

34 minutes ago, CKPR said:

I have a sense that the greased piglet's behaviour is basically a throwback to the libertine (i.e. 14 year old boy) behaviour of the entitled upper class rakes of  pre-Victorian times.

Possibly, but he is descended, is he not, from people who in pre-Victorian times were neither upper class nor indeed of these isles.

 

I mention this because I think the biology to assimilate other peoples within a generation or two is an outstanding positive feature of being English (not having any meaningful descent for any other nations, I can’t speak for them).
Just like we accepted the Home Secretary’s parents. Although if we had known what their progeny would be like, we might have imposed the same restrictions on them as she would herself wish to do.

[Northroader]

We (I) need an English win as a pick-me-up, having tooled around this afternoon with a complicated bitty kit I got on eBay. It’s been an ongoing saga for around two years now, so I decided to do another small step forward with it, then realised towards the end of the operation that it has no sideplay built into it, which is a bit off putting for a six coupled loco. Come on England!!!

[monkeysarefun]

1 hour ago, Regularity said:

I always though that Australians had a rather, shall we say, “robust” approach to diversity. 
Given a preference for rugby league, is some of it a case of protesting too much?

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/jul/07/huddersfield-kenny-edwards-10-match-ban-for-inserting-finger-into-opponent-rugby-league

Thats obviously because he's a new Zealander, they tend towards that sort of thing when they are lonely,  far from their flock. 

 

None of that suss finger play goes on in Aussie rules, not during the game at least , nor does any  of that soccer style screaming in agony whilst rolling around and around on the ground  like a dying blowfly  because some opponent daintily  brushed against them.

 

The only excuse Aussie rules players are allowed  for not getting straight back up and into it is because they  are knocked out cold or perhaps dead.

 

 

Edited July 10, 2021 by monkeysarefun

[Nearholmer]

It’s always seemed very odd to me that it is called “Aussie Rules”, since it doesn’t appear to have any.

 

Surely, there is a correlation between the complexity of rules, and the ‘civilisedness’ of a sport, so that association football is one step up, on the basis of the off-side rule, tennis has a silly scoring system that makes it seem civilised, while cricket is the height of civilisation, because the rules are so numerous. Various forms of Rugby do seem to have complex rules (I certainly can’t understand them), but most of them seem designed to interrupt the flow of play and thereby make it immensely tedious, so I’m not sure how to rank rugby.

[Regularity]

1 hour ago, Nearholmer said:

I’m not sure how to rank rugby.

“Soccer is a game for gentlemen, played by thugs.

Rugby* is a game for thugs, played by gentlemen.”

* Strictly speaking, at least during “amateur” days, only the Union** code.
** It seems that the other code appeals to people in the closet.

[CKPR]

At my northern grammar school, we played Union, which always seemed a violent and ungentlemanly game compared to League. 

[Hroth]

I propose we all sit in front of the telly tomorrow, with a cup of tea (more in the pot for topups) and crumpets on a fork, toasting in front of the fire.  After all, foot-the-ball is a winter game, is it not?  Then we can cheer on our chaps, but not so loud as to disturb the neighbours, whilst raising a disbelieving eyebrow as the Italians go for an acting Oscar each time they come within a yard of our blokes.

 

And if it descends to the farce called penalty shootouts, we can break out pizza with a pineapple topping, which I am reliably informed puts the Italians right off their game!

 

Yours indignantly

Mrs Trellis

Colwyn Bay  

 

[Nearholmer]

Odd that Mrs Trellis should write-in, because, a mere few days ago, I paused from a cycling expedition to have lunch at her place. It was in Rottingdean, rather than Colwyn Bay, which I found strange. Maybe she has an outlet in every resort, as the local sewerage companies seem to.

 

 

[monkeysarefun]

10 hours ago, Nearholmer said:

It’s always seemed very odd to me that it is called “Aussie Rules”, since it doesn’t appear to have any.

 

I remember the first inter-school AFL game14 year old me played.

The game starts with the umpire bouncing the ball at the centre spot, one player from each team is positioned each side of the centre bounce area and jumps up to attempt to punch the ball to one of their teammates thus commencing the mayhem. In my first game, ball is bounced, our player jumps up to reach the ball,  opposing player ignores the ball but instead  belts   our player straight in his  stomach dropping him like a rock, "play on!" goes the umpire, who was the teacher from their school. 

 

Shortly after, ball comes to me, I grasp it. At this point a player has 3 options, he can run with the ball but must bounce it every 15 steps, he must kick it or he must punch it to another team member - this is called punting it and is the only way to pass the ball,  throwing it or passing any other way is a hand over  to the other side.

I  consider punting it to a team member but decide instead to make a valiant run down the wing towards our goal. I commence a run but am immediately  coathangered around the neck -  my legs  keep going until I am horizontal in mid air at which point I drop straight down to the ground bruising my ribs and coccyx so I can't sit down without pain for several days.

If I'd punched it to the team mate standing close to me I'd have been unharmed and he'd have copped the pain instead. 

 

So as a metaphor for life the first 5 minutes of that game taught me valuable lessons that have stayed with me.

 

1/ Its who you know that determines if you'll pay for your crime.

2/ Never  get caught holding the ball, let someone else take the pain.

3/If in doubt just punch.

 

10 hours ago, Nearholmer said:

 

 

Surely, there is a correlation between the complexity of rules, and the ‘civilisedness’ of a sport, so that association football is one step up, on the basis of the off-side rule, tennis has a silly scoring system that makes it seem civilised, while cricket is the height of civilisation, because the rules are so numerous. Various forms of Rugby do seem to have complex rules (I certainly can’t understand them), but most of them seem designed to interrupt the flow of play and thereby make it immensely tedious, so I’m not sure how to rank rugby.

 

In turn, I reckon that there is a correlation between the number of rules and how 'artificial' and unlike civilisation a  game becomes.  A game which needs many involved detailed rules is a flawed one because those rules are needed to counter brilliant ways that players have come up with to gain some advantage, thus proving the game has a loophole that can be exploited.

The most civilised sport shouldn't hamper a players natural inclinations by bunging in a rule stopping it, it should just let their creativity flow, mimicking how civilisation has evolved, therefore the fewer rules, the more civilised the sport.

 

To get started playing Australian Rules, you just need to know the following - 

 

You must kick or punch the ball.

You cant tackle a player without the ball

If you run with the ball you must bounce it every 15 steps

You can only tackle someone between the knees and the shoulders. 

A ball through the centre posts untouched by the opposing team scores 6 points, through the posts either side, 1 point.

 

Thats it. With just those rules you could put together a team of you and 17 equally neophyte mates and go  off and play the Geelong Cats next weekend.

Oh damn, , I forgot about the  covid travel ban. 

 

a

Edited July 11, 2021 by monkeysarefun

[monkeysarefun]

8 hours ago, Regularity said:

** It seems that the other code appeals to people in the closet.

Just dont google "MItchell Pearce and dog" , okay? League players are bred for their size, nothing else matters.

Edited July 11, 2021 by monkeysarefun

[Hroth]

9 hours ago, Regularity said:

Rugby* is a game for thugs, played by gentlemen.”

* Strictly speaking, at least during “amateur” days, only the Union** code.
** It seems that the other code appeals to people in the closet.

 

Originally played by the thugs of the school, gentlemen* only by convention?   Given their other pastimes of toasting younger boys in front of an open fire and tossing them in a blanket...

 

6 hours ago, monkeysarefun said:

To get started playing Australian Rules, you just need to know the following - 

 

You must kick or punch the ball.

You cant tackle a player without the ball

If you run with the ball you must bounce it every 15 steps

You can only tackle someone between the knees and the shoulders. 

A ball through the centre posts untouched by the opposing team scores 6 points, through the posts either side, 1 point.

 

Too complicated!

 

Also

 

Quote

If you run with the ball you must bounce it every 15 steps

 

would never work here, especially on a cold wet afternoon in late November, where there is little noticable difference between the school pitch and a WW1 battlefield.

 

* A gentleman being defined as someone who's father can afford the fees.

[monkeysarefun]

7 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

would never work here, especially on a cold wet afternoon in late November, where there is little noticable difference between the school pitch and a WW1 battlefield.

 

You have the option of tapping the ball on the ground as long as you use both hands or you could do what Queenstown in Tasmania did and replace the grass with gravel. 

[Edwardian]

One of my minor pleasures is listening to BBC Sounds whilst modelling.  I note that series 3 of Elvenquest, the fantasy parody, is currently available.

 

IMHO, one of the best episodes is the one with the rather recognisable White Wizard (Episode 5)

 

For those unfamiliar with the series, the rather craven Sam (a fantasy author) and his dog, Amis, are dragged into to a fantasy realm by the Questers because Amis, who becomes human, is the Chosen One. The Questers are a really stupid Elf Lord, a Warrior Princess and a rather unsanitary Dwarf.  

[Annie]

Wonderful fun!  

 

https://archive.org/details/elvenquest1-4

[Regularity]

15 hours ago, CKPR said:

At my northern grammar school, we played Union, which always seemed a violent and ungentlemanly game compared to League. 

When at school,  my only contact with Rugby League was seeing it on TV on a Saturday afternoon, with the inimitable Eddy Waring commentating. It was, compared to the lively mayhem of Union, a complete baffling form of the game to me.

It seems we have more or less 4 forms of the game of “football” where handling the ball is more common:

USA: American football, so regimented, they have markers every few yards, game is largely one scrum and a few outfielders;

Northern England (and exported), Rugby League: less regimented, but still have things like the “6th tackle”, but rucking anmauling doesn’t seem to happen;

England, Rugby Union: rules which often act as guidelines, except for set pieces, rucks and mauls aplenty;

Australia, Aussie “Rules”: what rules?

What that says about various psyches, I dare not say.

[Ian Simpson]

14 hours ago, monkeysarefun said:

... To get started playing Australian Rules, you just need to know the following - 

 

You must kick or punch the ball.

You cant tackle a player without the ball

If you run with the ball you must bounce it every 15 steps

You can only tackle someone between the knees and the shoulders. 

A ball through the centre posts untouched by the opposing team scores 6 points, through the posts either side, 1 point.

 

Thats it. With just those rules you could put together a team of you and 17 equally neophyte mates and go  off and play the Geelong Cats next weekend.

Useful, but soccer still seems simpler:

1. Put the ball in the opponent's net, not your own.

2. Don't use your hands if you're wearing the same colour shirt as your teammates.

Okay, there's also an offside rule. Don't worry about it, the referee will tell you if you break it. [Edit: in which case everyone on your team will still believe you, rather than the ref.]

Edited July 11, 2021 by Ian Simpson

[Nearholmer]

Arguing about refereeing decisions is an important sport in its own right, a cultural phenomenon with some similarities to bartering in Arab markets, in that wild exaggeration, insults against the referee’s mental condition, eyesight, honesty etc are essential elements.

 

There is no real reason why it shouldn’t be included in the olympics, apart perhaps from the language barrier, and the way translation would slow the game down.

 

There could be several layers of meta-sport too, in which the arguments are about the refereeing decisions in contests of arguing about refereeing decisions.

[Regularity]

6 hours ago, Nearholmer said:

There is no real reason why it shouldn’t be included in the olympics, apart perhaps from the language barrier, and the way translation would slow the game down.

When you say “language barrier”, are you referring to problems with translation, or “naughty” words?

[Nearholmer]

I was thinking that the time taken to translate “My mate and his guide dog could tell that was over the f*****g line!” Into, say, Italian, would impede the cut and thrust of repartee.

[Regularity]

Compounded by idiomatic uses of swearing, and some languages/cultures don’t really gave rude words, as such, but do gave extremely rude insults, which then get contracted, e.g. “thy father’s milk”.

[Annie]

There was a sudden disturbance in the Force as if a great many souls cried out in anguish.  Sooooooo I'm guessing that England lost to Italy.

[monkeysarefun]

Usual penalty shootout per chance?

[Hroth]

Didn't watch the match, but I knew that England had lost as I didn't hear any shouting, singing, fireworks, etc after the time I'd estimated things would be wrapped up, even with extra time and penalties.

 

I see they lost on penalties (3 missed?). Silly bu@@ers, you'd never think that its a skill that they all should have practiced...

 

Wimbledon and the Euros done.

Now only just the displaced Olympics to weather.

 

[Edwardian]

As  a onetime colleague of mine observed to me years ago, and, as a Port Vale supporter, he was reasonably well-qualified to comment, football does not make you happy. 

 

Model railwaying, on the other hand, does.  I spent a happy day yesterday fettling 3D-printed bodies for the WN fleet before retiring early for the night in a state of contentment, blissfully unconcerned by matters apparently gripping the majority of the nation.

 

The national team, nevertheless, seems to have done well, and were a credit to the nation. In contrast, HMG has gone full Mayor of Amity; pushed by the loony libertarian right of the ruling party, fuelled by fears for the economy and, I suspect, motivated by the Leader's own hunger for personal popularity, we are falling over ourselves in the rush to unlock.  That is not to say that relaxation should not take place; it's the quality of the decision making that concerns me.  HMG's policy is to replace law and guidance with personal responsibility. There are certain areas of behaviour where this may prove fatally misconceived, such as making facemasks (which, predominately protect other people) optional in crowded indoor spaces.  HMG is doubling down on this decision in the face of concerns expressed by The Science, and polls suggesting a majority in favour of retaining this precaution.  

 

If I'm going to be at the mercy of the selfish and the stupid, I'm going to be less inclined to go out in public and spend my money at indoor venues.

[Ian Simpson]

The oddest thing this morning is how depressed everyone seems to be about England having the second-best team in Europe. That seems to be something for football fans to celebrate, rather than stress over.   If I was the second-best modeller on RMWeb you'd never hear the end of it