RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted January 29, 2011 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 29, 2011 If there is one thing I detest, it is those people who do not say thank you when you put yourself out for them. Whwn I first started on RM Web, this was not a problem, but the last twice I've sent people information by pm, this has not happened. Don't forget when you are sent something by an RM Webber they have had to hunt the information or part down, copied it/packed it or whatever and emailed/gone to the post office and posted it off. I don't expect prostration on the floor and abject grovelling, all I need is a 'thanks for the attachment, it was just what I needed/not quite what I wanted' type response. It also means I know you've recieved it. Does anyone else have this problem, or am I alone here? The trouble is, that I am now loathe to bother taking the time and effort to dig bits and pieces out for people unless I know them. Regards Richard Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevelewis Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hi Richard I fully agree with your comments, I have participated in Model Railway forums for several years and I once used to go to great lengths to try to explain things in response to 'help' questions, many times going to the trouble of taking photographs and preparing diagrams, and then trying to write an accompanying message in terms easily understandable. I became very aware that in a great many instances I did not get so much as a simple thank you! So much so these days I rarely bother to respond to queries! I do feel that many modellers now seem reluctant to experiment to try to solve a problem, they need 'chapter & verse' before they dare lift a finger! Naturally the above does not apply to everyone and indeed there are those who have and do acknowledge the efforts taken to try to help with problems. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointstaken Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Even if it is only a referral to a particular website, thanking the referrer takes very little effort. Dennis Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted January 29, 2011 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 29, 2011 I think your responses are very human. There has been quite a thread about this in recent times, so do not think you are alone in being miffed at not being thanked, plenty of others have ground their teeth at this form of bad manners. Yes, there is a % of RMWebbers who need spoon-feeding, but they are in a minority - typically being those who haven't even Googled their query. I actually enjoy doing so on their behalf and presenting the link they could/should/would have found, with an estimate of the time taken to do so. Seldom does that get much of a vote of thanks! As one who does not sit on a great heap of wisdom, I do not often have the answers, but can occasionally direct a member in a certain direction, e.g. a website or whatever. On the occasions that I have posed queries I sincerely hope I have been polite in acknowledging responses, which have often been numerous. "Don't take it to heart" must be my message, because the generosity of many on here is one of RMWeb's great strengths. You might just consider doing a bit of a review of the member's history before responding - often they are new and have not slipped into "our" way of doing things. With a more seasoned member, I suspect you'd find more gratitude coming your way. I hope you find things improve should you feel able to pass the "gen" in future. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenton Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Generally I find that most folk here are generous with their thanks - even if it is just pressing that positive feedback button. I often think those who complain bitterly that they have not seen a post thanking them in public have another agenda in their desire for fame and recognition. Sometimes it is difficult to remember this place is not as instant a fix as it often appears to be. That remark is aimed at both the giver and the receiver of help. Just because you have responded to a request doesn't mean that the person asking for information is even still online let alone hovering over the page repeatedly reloading it to see if someone has answered. For me, that applies even more to PM (a particularly slow way of getting my attention, for example. I usually read PMs when I have finished reading everything else, you may not think that to be sensible - but as I get no popup notification it is often ages before it comes to my attention. Do I care if I don't get thanks - well probably I'm not that bothered, or more specifically it depends more on what is being responded to and how specific the response. I guess that is because I generally see that the vast majority of my posts are aimed wide to anyone who has an interest rather than just one individual member. Though perhaps a PM conversation is a little bit more personal, but then it probably depends on how well I know the individual. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dilbert Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I believe there are two aspects to 'forum life' : the public side and the private (or pm) side. Re. the latter, I have never, in the years I have been a member of RMWeb, come across anyone in PM correspondance who hasn't said 'thank you' for assistance (in whatever form that may take) - mucho positivo ... On the public forum side of life I don't have any major problem here - there is the green appreciation button (I think a lot of people overlook this feature) and even if this not used, then at least threads don't get overly cluttered with thank you type messages... dilbert Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theakerr Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I hope I would always acknowledge a pm message. Re the forum, I have to say it would depend. Now what is this green appreciation button and where do I find it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold PhilH Posted January 29, 2011 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 29, 2011 I think that RMWeb simply mirrors life in general - there are those who appreciate help and those who expect it. Just shrug your shoulders..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fire.up.the.aero Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I consider it basic human courtesy for anyone to acknowledge the efforts of another - as some have said above, a very simple thankyou is all that is required. Naturally we don't want the forum to become overrun with endless posts simply saying 'thank you', but then that is what the green button is there for! Especially in a forum such as RMweb, those who go the trouble of posting - or researching and then posting - in response to a question are I imagine usually unknown to the OP, and so I find it particularly touching that the effort is so readily made by those replying. As a relative newcomer here, and having asked a solitary question on the Advice board, I found the replies generous and most helpful, and would consider myself to have failed basic standards of behaviour had I not made my thanks known. To that extent I don't think whether one is a newbie or not is relevant to this issue - we're all 'grown ups'and we should expect appropriate manners! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
amdaley Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hi Richard. I understand what you mean but I would never let the behavior of others change me. If someone asks for help & I am able to be of assistance then I will gladly do so. Fortunately there are enough well mannered people on this forum & elsewhere to make it all worthwhile but as you say a Thank you is appreciated all the same. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted January 29, 2011 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 29, 2011 Thanks for all the replies, I'll carry on as usual where I can help people out. I suppose the subliminal intention of my post was to give that small percentage a 'wake up call' although it's probably gone right over their heads. Regards Richard (Who replied pdq as he did not want to be hoisted by his own petard ) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenton Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Now what is this green appreciation button and where do I find it? At the bottom right of every post - except your own - you can click once on the green plus icon After 5+ positives you get "awarded" with a star Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Fobe2 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 In my experience RMweb members are very polite and appreciative, however a person that is rude will usually act they same wherever they appear! In my book they would only get my help once if they are rude.. Xerces Fobe Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bike2steam Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 If there is one thing I detest, it is those people who do not say thank you when you put yourself out for them. Richard It's happened to me a few times, but quite frankly I don't give a toss, it's part of life get used to it, don't be so thin skinned. Perhaps I pick the wrong people to get me a star............... :D . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
halfwit Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I have noticed that the 'thank you' button is being increasingly ignored recently, hopefully due to people just not knowing about it. As for manners, well if you don't say thanks this time you'll not get any help next time. Simple. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivercider Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I have been lurking on this site for a couple of years, and posting for a couple of months, but have not yet had the courage, or found a particular need to ask a question yet. However I believe that the effort put in by members to reply to a query is seldom wasted. I am sure there must be more like me who sometimes see a question asked, and think I'm glad someone else asked that, I would have felt a bit of a fool or be to embarassed to post that. As Kenton has mentioned, I see many replies that often include general advice or observation that will be of value to many of us, usually in terms that relative newcomers will find useful. But when I do get round to asking something, and get some guidance, I will try to remember what my Mother taught me about manners! cheers Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
halfwit Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 There has been quite a thread about this in recent times Would that be this one? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave777 Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Yup, that's the one. I think as that thread and this one shows however, there's a very big cross section of expectations around this subject. For short questions that require a one or two line answer I just press the thank you button. Keeps the thread 'clean' and on the subject. For longer threads I now post a thank you mainly because others seem to like/demand/prefer it (as that other thread showed). I do this for others though - personally I'm not fussed about a thank you at all. I help Fred, Fred helps Susan, Susan helps Tony, Tony helps me. The help goes round and round. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomJ Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I hope I would always acknowledge a pm message. Re the forum, I have to say it would depend. Now what is this green appreciation button and where do I find it? I usually browse RMWeb on my iPhone and in the mobile browser I don't think there is an appreciation button (unless I've missed it). I wonder if this could be added on - the full forum is too cumbersome to view on the iPhone. I always try to reply to a forum post with a quick thankyou but I must admit this may sometimes be a few days later if I've been away so the helpful poster may miss it? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennine MC Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I often think those who complain bitterly that they have not seen a post thanking them in public have another agenda in their desire for fame and recognition. Yeah, righto. It's just manners IMO, you either get it or you dont. Just because you have responded to a request doesn't mean that the person asking for information is even still online let alone hovering over the page repeatedly reloading it to see if someone has answered. Quite so. But I do think it's helpful when the OP returns from time to time to review matters, as what often happens is that the posts made go off at a tangent because the information isnt actually what's required I always try to reply to a forum post with a quick thankyou but I must admit this may sometimes be a few days later if I've been away so the helpful poster may miss it? Personally, although I've certainly commented on occasion when I've thought somebody has been taking advantage, I'd always give a few days before doing so. I'd also have checked in that time if they'd actually been active. It's amazing how many of them claim to have been busy with other stuff when they're called out, but let's be honest, how long does it really take to post back and just say something like 'thanks for the answers so far, I'll be back'. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Simon Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Hi, I do find people that don't say thank you abit annoying, but that's life! If I ask questions, I always try and say thank you and put "Thank you in Advance" to my question posts. you will always get people who don't say thank you, not because they don't want to, but perhaps they simply just forget get, it's a fact of life and you've just got accept it. Simon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Mallard60022 Posted January 29, 2011 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 29, 2011 No thanks given Thank you etc Good manners as stated several times, sadly not part of many people's life these days. Sincerely, G. Rumpy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted January 29, 2011 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 29, 2011 Just as Pennine has said, I'm revisiting again to make sure this is still on track and I can see that some of you have missed the point. I'm not worried about thanks on the on line forum, I totally agree about the idea that we keep to topic and that 'cheers mate/me too' type messages just clutter things up. If something has been of particular help to me, I'll pm the individual to say thanks. Perhaps I ought to use the green button instead, I just prefer the more personal touch The lack of thanks that I am referring to is when I have taken the trouble to find and compile information, uploaded it to my computer and then sent the files to an individuals personal email address, which they have sent to me because they want the info. If nothing else at least they should acknowledge that they have recieved the information they wanted. They do not have to be hovering over the keyboard and monitoring RMWeb, because the reply had dropped straight into their inbox. Regards Richard Who after 20 years in the Army and a parachutist is terribly fragile and thin skinned Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
halfwit Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Richard, perhaps some of us have missed the point but I do think that the subject of manners has needed to be raised (again) for some time now. So thanks for giving us the opportunity to do just that. (I have also sent info, through the post in my case, and not heard a word in reply). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Kazmierczak Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Not saying "Thank you", apart from bad manners, is also counter-productive. You're unlikely to get as much help in the future. Reap what you sow, as was once written..... And there's a tremendous amount of help and good-will on this group. I invariably learn something new each time I logon; pity to lose it by not saying "Thanks" and pressing the green + button. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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