Whacky Signs.

[jcredfer]

4 minutes ago, martin_wynne said:

 

But that surely raises the question "is Skimmed Milk, Milk?"

 

If something was taken out of "Skimmed Milk", would it still be "Skimmed Milk"? Or "Skimmed Skimmed Milk"?

 

Martin.

 

Nope.

 

Julian

 

[PaulRhB]

[PhilJ W]

1 hour ago, melmerby said:

Maybe the cows are put into a centrifuge so that you get different milk out of different teats?

Having visited a milking parlour when in action milk isn't the only thing that comes out of the cows. You certainly don't want to put them on a centrifuge.

[raymw]

Pork sausages are made of bits of pork, beef sausages are made from bits of beef. What are vegetarian sausages made from?

Linda McCartney's consist of Rehydrated Textured SOYA Protein (70%), Water, Rapeseed Oil, SOYA Protein Concentrate, Seasoning (SULPHITES) (Dextrose, Salt, Flavouring, Onion Powder, Yeast Extract, Colour: Red Iron Oxide), Fortified WHEAT Flour (WHEAT Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Stabiliser: Methyl Cellulose, Tomato Purée, Salt, Raising Agent: Ammonium Carbonates

No mention of any vegetarians - shame.

I hope they get the balance right -

Methylcellulose is a bulk-forming laxative that increases the amount of water in your stools to help make them softer and easier to pass.

Methylcellulose is used to treat constipation and to help maintain regular bowel movements.

 Breathing ammonium bicarbonate can irritate the nose, throat and lungs causing coughing, wheezing and/or shortness of breath. Repeated exposure may cause bronchitis to develop with cough, and/or shortness of breath. Health effects can occur some time after exposure to ammonium bicarbonate and can last for months or years.

 Sulphites can cause itchy skin, low blood pressure, abdominal pain, and diarrhea—as well as life-threatening anaphylactic shock and asthma attacks. However, you have to be sensitive to sulphites to see these reactions. About 1 percent of people have a sulphite sensitivity.

 

Maybe a bit of pork, oats and sawdust is healthier. (not sure about the plastic 'skins').

[KeithMacdonald]

9 hours ago, raymw said:

Skimmed milk is a subset of milk, if you like. They are stating that there is nothing added or taken away from that subset. - the adding/taking away refers to the 'skimmed milk',

 

Hidden in that plausible-sounding statement is a logical fallacy. As the skimmed milk is the final product, and the claim is that nothing is added or taken away from the final product.

 

By the same logic, and by example : One could produce a steak pie, full of preservatives, colouring, sawdust, gelling agents, monosodium glutamate, sodium nitrite (and all the usual suspects). Now call it the final product, and don't add anything else to it (or take anything out). Voilà! Nothing added or taken away from this steak pie.

 

I agree with @Oxexpatriate - Martin's post was hilarious - making fun of a blanket marketing slogan.

 

Anyway, it's the diaries that are having the laugh. Take full-fat milk, skim off the cream so that what is left resembles watered-down emulsion paint, and put the cream in a seperate pot. Now sell two products and make money twice.

 

Can we have a whacky sign please? Something like "Caution : Rivet Police are working in this area"

[KeithMacdonald]

7 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

Having visited a milking parlour when in action milk isn't the only thing that comes out of the cows.

 

The other thing gets used in the vegetarian burger.

[2750Papyrus]

16 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Hidden in that plausible-sounding statement is a logical fallacy. As the skimmed milk is the final product, and the claim is that nothing is added or taken away from the final product.

 

By the same logic, and by example : One could produce a steak pie, full of preservatives, colouring, sawdust, gelling agents, monosodium glutamate, sodium nitrite (and all the usual suspects). Now call it the final product, and don't add anything else to it (or take anything out). Voilà! Nothing added or taken away from this steak pie.

 

I agree with @Oxexpatriate - Martin's post was hilarious - making fun of a blanket marketing slogan.

 

Anyway, it's the diaries that are having the laugh. Take full-fat milk, skim off the cream so that what is left resembles watered-down emulsion paint, and put the cream in a seperate pot. Now sell two products and make money twice.

 

Can we have a whacky sign please? Something like "Caution : Rivet Police are working in this area"

I bet the calendars are smiling, too!

[martin_wynne]

19 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

skim off the cream so that what is left resembles watered-down emulsion paint

 

It can however be long-life UHT-treated and still taste much the same. Which is very handy in these troubled times.

 

It is the fat content in UHT milk which makes it taste so awful.

 

Sorry, nothing amusing in this post, move along to the next one please. Take some of this with you, just in case:

 

 

Martin.

[Compound2632]

Surely this one has been milked enough.

[kevinlms]

20 hours ago, raymw said:

I thought that is what marketing is all about.   - wording that looks as if it is important, but in fact is usually completely meaningless.

As in 'Scotty from Marketing'. That is, when he isn't on holiday in Hawaii!

 

You'll have to Google, as it's political.

[kevinlms]

17 hours ago, melmerby said:

Maybe the cows are put into a centrifuge so that you get different milk out of different teats?

If you want different milk out, don't you have to give the cows strawberries or cocoa beans?

[billbedford]

So.....

 

Does this van have some gizmo that only allows lawyers to steal form it?

 

[The Johnster]

On 03/05/2020 at 23:29, melmerby said:

Maybe the cows are put into a centrifuge so that you get different milk out of different teats?

Brilliant mental image!

[The Johnster]

And another thing.  What are occasional tables the rest of the time?

[Compound2632]

6 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

What are occasional tables the rest of the time?

 

Pembroke.

[martin_wynne]

9 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

And another thing.  What are occasional tables the rest of the time?

 

Legless.

[Enterprisingwestern]

14 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

And another thing.  What are occasional tables the rest of the time?

 

Clutter.

 

Mike.

[The Johnster]

3 good answers, thank you gentlemen.  Ok, what do part time traffic signals do the rest of the time?

[Trofimow]

self isolate

[Enterprisingwestern]

8 hours ago, The Johnster said:

3 good answers, thank you gentlemen.  Ok, what do part time traffic signals do the rest of the time?

 

Sign on?

 

Mike.

 

 

[luckymucklebackit]

11 hours ago, The Johnster said:

3 good answers, thank you gentlemen.  Ok, what do part time traffic signals do the rest of the time?

 

They don't know, they keep them in the dark about that...

[jcredfer]

Wanted to work from home, but had a day off.

 

 

J

Edited May 11, 2020 by jcredfer

[melmerby]

3 hours ago, jcredfer said:

Wanted to work from home, but had a day off.

 

 

J

So did you go into work on your day off?

[tomparryharry]

I went out with a part-time traffic signal. She had decision issues... Her name was Amber....

 

I'll go now.....

[Steamport Southport]

37 minutes ago, tomparryharry said:

I went out with a part-time traffic signal. She had decision issues... Her name was Amber....

 

I'll go now.....

 

If Amber Rudd stood for the Green Party it would be Amber Rudd, Green.

 

 

Psst. Don't tell Paul Merton.....

 

 

 

Jason