How to get lynched at a model railway show

[Nick C]

On 04/08/2021 at 08:51, Hibelroad said:

When I dismantled my last layout I did consider building a model supermarket and car park on the site. It was going to be called Tescburys, but motorising the model trolleys defeated me. 

No need to motorise them - just model them all dumped in the adjacent canal...

[The Johnster]

And little rats eating the gutta-percha.  

[AyJay]

Wear a T-shirt that says "Model Railway enthusiasts are just a bunch of 'anoraks'! "

 

That should get you hung - drawn and quartered.

[AyJay]

P.S. Form an orderly queue behind me!

[Steamport Southport]

On 05/08/2021 at 05:53, kevinlms said:

Was that in the April special edition catalogue?

 

I think it was a properly done spoof for one of the magazines such as Private Eye.

 

I can't remember or find the original source as it's been shared a lot online.

[AyJay]

I have just had a read of the previous page of responses.

When my Son was very young, someone had bought him a large album containing all of the Rev. Awdry stories (illustrated).  I had great pleasure in reading some of these stories to my Son, and even more pleasure reading the whole lot to myself.

 

Well this set me thinking...

If we take to concept that Triang Hornby had with their Giraffe car, Royal mail coach, Battle Zone etc.  further....

Would it be possible to build an entire Isle of Sodor layout that faithfully re-enacted some of these stories, with all of the drama?

The troublesome trucks that pushed Thomas off the end of the line and into someone's house.

Silly old Gordon, fell in a ditch.

The evil Diesel.

Was it Henry who got bricked up in a tunnel?

Was it Thomas, again, who went the wrong way off a turntable?

 

Then have this running in sync with an audible reading of the story.

 

I think the kids would love it!

[DK123GWR]

1 hour ago, AyJay said:

I have just had a read of the previous page of responses.

When my Son was very young, someone had bought him a large album containing all of the Rev. Awdry stories (illustrated).  I had great pleasure in reading some of these stories to my Son, and even more pleasure reading the whole lot to myself.

 

Well this set me thinking...

If we take to concept that Triang Hornby had with their Giraffe car, Royal mail coach, Battle Zone etc.  further....

Would it be possible to build an entire Isle of Sodor layout that faithfully re-enacted some of these stories, with all of the drama?

The troublesome trucks that pushed Thomas off the end of the line and into someone's house.

Silly old Gordon, fell in a ditch.

The evil Diesel.

Was it Henry who got bricked up in a tunnel?

Was it Thomas, again, who went the wrong way off a turntable?

 

Then have this running in sync with an audible reading of the story.

 

I think the kids would love it!

Certainly no lynching from these parts. Tell me when you've built it and I'll be at its first exhibition!

[kevinlms]

2 hours ago, AyJay said:

I have just had a read of the previous page of responses.

When my Son was very young, someone had bought him a large album containing all of the Rev. Awdry stories (illustrated).  I had great pleasure in reading some of these stories to my Son, and even more pleasure reading the whole lot to myself.

 

Well this set me thinking...

If we take to concept that Triang Hornby had with their Giraffe car, Royal mail coach, Battle Zone etc.  further....

Would it be possible to build an entire Isle of Sodor layout that faithfully re-enacted some of these stories, with all of the drama?

The troublesome trucks that pushed Thomas off the end of the line and into someone's house.

Silly old Gordon, fell in a ditch.

The evil Diesel.

Was it Henry who got bricked up in a tunnel?

Was it Thomas, again, who went the wrong way off a turntable?

 

Then have this running in sync with an audible reading of the story.

 

I think the kids would love it!

I think you'd need a larger space then you might expect!

[TheQ]

On 05/08/2021 at 09:48, kevinlms said:

You need a model tree, with lots of period bank notes attached. 

Sorry it's in use on the HS2 layout

Edited August 9, 2021 by TheQ

[Joseph_Pestell]

2 hours ago, AyJay said:

I have just had a read of the previous page of responses.

When my Son was very young, someone had bought him a large album containing all of the Rev. Awdry stories (illustrated).  I had great pleasure in reading some of these stories to my Son, and even more pleasure reading the whole lot to myself.

 

Well this set me thinking...

If we take to concept that Triang Hornby had with their Giraffe car, Royal mail coach, Battle Zone etc.  further....

Would it be possible to build an entire Isle of Sodor layout that faithfully re-enacted some of these stories, with all of the drama?

The troublesome trucks that pushed Thomas off the end of the line and into someone's house.

Silly old Gordon, fell in a ditch.

The evil Diesel.

Was it Henry who got bricked up in a tunnel?

Was it Thomas, again, who went the wrong way off a turntable?

 

Then have this running in sync with an audible reading of the story.

 

I think the kids would love it!

by Ringo

[AyJay]

This is, of course, a complete fantasy.  Not sure we could get the required range of facial expressions for the locomotives.

Besides, how could we animate The Fat Controller in OO gauge?

In any case, I think the Isle of Sodor would require an entire exhibition hall all to itself.

[newbryford]

Going from another exhibition thread.

How to get lynched - don't wear a mask.

[RJS1977]

On 05/08/2021 at 08:37, DK123GWR said:

Find the loudest vaccuum cleaner you can and use it to create a model of Brunel's atmospheric railway. If people start making comments about poor running, politely remind them that Brunel's didn't work much better.

 

I saw that done at Amberley a few years ago!

[Mol_PMB]

Model a Welsh mining village with its railway, set in pre-grouping  times. 

On the weekend of the show, on Saturday morning have everything working including the mine equipment, a host of passenger and freight trains etc. 

Saturday lunchtime, the mine railway shuts down and the freight trains peter out. You can perhaps leave a railmotor on automatic shuttle once every couple of hours, while the operating team heads off to the pub.

Don’t worry about getting up to operate anything on Sunday. All you need is to start playing the recording of the male voice choir, preferably at high volume and on endless repeat. 

[CameronL]

I originally posted this on the "Things That Make You :)" thread, but it was taken out because someone complained that it was offensive. That was definitely not my intention, so I've removed the controversial bit and done a little rewriting - 

 

I sometimes think it must take a very special breed of person to build and run an exhibition layout. At an exhibition last year, I saw a small BLT set in transition-era Britain. The fiddle yard was a three-track sector plate with the following on it –
 An Ivatt 2-6-0 with two coaches
 A DMU
 A Type 33 with a short freight train
The operator would run out the Ivatt into the platform line, run it round the train and then back to the sector plate again, then run out the DMU and back, then run out the Type 33, swap the wagons for whatever was in the goods yard, and back again.
He did this all day. Personally I wouldn’t have the patience. Nor would I be able to put up with the questions from Mr Public.
Truly, model railway exhibitors are a very special breed of people, but I do wonder, do they ever want to rebel and do or say something really silly. Here’s a few suggestions. I’ve even given them a points system in case anyone wants to try it and see what score they get –
- Put a sign on the front of your layout saying “Children! Can you see the baby dragon on the layout?” (You’ve guessed it - there isn’t one) – 1 pt.
- If your layout is pre-grouping set in the 1910s, run a Class 70 diesel with a string of container wagons and when anyone mentions the anachronism look piercingly at them and say “Oh, can you see it too? I thought it was just me.” –2pts (This also works for the “Lord of the Isles” and a rake of clerestories on a modern image layout, or an N scale Britannia Pacific and coaches on a OOn9 layout).

- Stop all trains running and announce to the audience that they won’t move again until everyone joins in a chorus of “The Runaway Train” – 3 pts
- Answer every tenth questioner in an accent like a pirate. – 2 pts.
- Wear a T-shirt saying “Real men don’t use sound decoders” and make all the noises yourself. – 2 pts
- Suddenly exclaim loudly “Oh, what’s the point?” and burst into tears. – 2 pts (plus 1 bonus point if anyone gives you a hug).

And of course there’s the questions. Here are a few with answers that break the monotony a little –
Q: “Exactly what era are you modelling?”
A: “Haven’t a clue. I’m just doing this for a mate. It could be the Lower Cretaceous as far as I know.” (I once got an answer very close to this at an exhibition). – 1pt
Q: “Do you attend many exhibitions?”
A: “No, just this one. It’s the only one my electronic tag will let me get to.” – 2pts
Q: “Can my child drive your trains?”
A: “Sure. Can my child drive your car?” – 1pt
Q: “There’s some beautiful detail in your layout. Do you really enjoy building it?”
A: “No, but the prison psychiatrist told me it would be good therapy before I was let out on licence.” – 3pts

Q: “How many miniature people have you got on your layout?”
A: “No idea. The little b*****s keep breeding.” – 1 pt
Q: “How do you get such good weathering?”
A: “When I go to bed at night I leave the pristine rolling stock and weathering materials on the table with a saucer of milk and a plate of digestive biscuits. When I come down in the morning the saucer and plate are empty and the stock’s weathered for me.” – 3 pts
Q: “Do you know what time the exhibition closes?”
A: “Soon, I hope. The world’s going to end at midnight, so I want to spend what time I have left with the woman I love, and as she charges by the hour I have to get to a cashpoint.” – 4 pts.
OK. I know. Exhibitors are supposed to be polite, tolerant ambassadors of our hobby and shouldn’t indulge in such silliness.
But has anyone ever been tempted?

 

It might not get you lynched at the first exhibition, but if word spread what about the second?

Edited August 15, 2021 by CameronL
Typo

[KeithMacdonald]

2 hours ago, CameronL said:

At an exhibition last year, I saw a small BLT set in transition-era Britain.

 

I have to confess I clearly haven't been an inmate long enough, or I'm obsessed by food. Every time I see "BLT" mentioned, I think "Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato, WTF?", and then it takes a few seconds to realise "Ah, it's a Branch Line Terminus"

[KeithMacdonald]

2 hours ago, CameronL said:

I originally posted this on the "Things That Make You :)" thread, but it was taken out because someone complained that it was offensive.

 

I'm glad you reposted it here, I like it.

[F-UnitMad]

10 hours ago, CameronL said:

OK. I know. Exhibitors are supposed to be polite, tolerant ambassadors of our hobby and shouldn’t indulge in such silliness.
But has anyone ever been tempted?

 

I was guest operating on a very-obviously Scottish-themed layout at a Show once. The layout name, the station colours, the engines with 'scotty dog' logos, and 'Scotrail' signs, and one chap came up and asked - very cheerfully - "where's this set then?"

I couldn't tell if it was a genuine question or a mickey take, and I was sorely tempted to give a stupid answer, such as 'Minnesota, USA' (which is where my own main home layout is set). 

I opted for the safe route, & treated it as a genuine question.

[Chris M]

I have let visitor's children drive my trains at exhibitions on a number of occasions and it was almost always a very good experience. Most children were very careful and respectful and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I had my hand on the off switch just in case. There isn't much point in letting them drive a roundy roundy but it works well on an end to end layout.

[steve1]

I have often let children drive my layouts too and, as has been stated, most are quite safe.

 

One regular exhibition visiting child I used to see, could be trusted to be left in charge of a layout whilst I had a comfort break or even a wander round the show. It must have had some effect on him as he is now, some years later, an RMWeb member, @Karhedron

 

steve

Edited August 16, 2021 by steve1
Added name

[steve1]

3 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

I was guest operating on a very-obviously Scottish-themed layout at a Show once. The layout name, the station colours, the engines with 'scotty dog' logos, and 'Scotrail' signs, and one chap came up and asked - very cheerfully - "where's this set then?"

I couldn't tell if it was a genuine question or a mickey take, and I was sorely tempted to give a stupid answer, such as 'Minnesota, USA' (which is where my own main home layout is set). 

I opted for the safe route, & treated it as a genuine question.

 

The geographical knowledge of some punters can be, shall we say, limited. I've had my US layouts confidently described as Britain by 'knowledgeable' people to their companions and the German one could be anything. (I always wore German football shirts when operating that layout too.)

 

Luckily I'm a polite person...

 

steve

[PhilJ W]

My friends young son who was about 8 or 9 years old when we started taking him to model railway shows was very shy and introverted. To try to get him out of his shell I asked another friend who was operating a layout if he could have a go. Now (or up until covid) he is always welcome to operate many layouts though I have to ask for him as he's still painfully shy.

[kevinlms]

3 hours ago, Chris M said:

I have let visitor's children drive my trains at exhibitions on a number of occasions and it was almost always a very good experience. Most children were very careful and respectful and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I had my hand on the off switch just in case. There isn't much point in letting them drive a roundy roundy but it works well on an end to end layout.

On a former club layout, I built a modified controller which had a limited top speed and I used to have it plugged in via a changeover switch, so I could chose whether it or the regular controller.

I would hand it over to kids to drive the trains, with never any incidents. The only problem can from the other members who couldn't figure out why the normal controller wouldn't work! No amount of showing them the switch and what it did, made any difference. :-(

 

So unless I was there, it didn't happen. It fell into disuse, when I took over the role of selling tickets at our exhibition and so couldn't assist with the layout.

I wasn't happy at that, but not much I could do.

[F-UnitMad]

11 hours ago, steve1 said:

the German one could be anything. (I always wore German football shirts when operating that layout too.)

Personally I'd (hopefully) recognise a German layout from the models. I definitely wouldn't have a clue about football shirts!!!  

[The Johnster]

Back some 20 years ago I was living in Riverside, the other side of Cardiff from my present domicile, and the nearby shops in Canton, on Cowbridge Road, included 'Hypervalue', a plethora of cheap stuff of the sort you now buy in pound shops.  They had a batch of Munchen Gladbach football shirts in that they were knocking out for a pound a pop, pretty good for good quality cotton casual shirts.  Before long Cowbridge Road shops, and the pubs, looked as if Munchen Gladbach were playing Cardiff City and a good contingent of fans had accompanied them.  Just about everybody in the western half of Cardiff had at least one of them.

 

I wore mine on a visit to Bristol one day, and was made very welcome in a pub by a bunch of Bristol Rovers football fans, who were keen to ensure that the foreign visitor had a good time.  They were quite disappointed when they realised I wasn't German, but actually from Cardiff, but took it all in good part, fair play to them!