How to get lynched at a model railway show

[CameronL]

4 minutes ago, Gilbert said:

Don't fret - It's probably by invitation only...

I shudder to think what the initiation ceremony involves.

[PhilJ W]

58 minutes ago, CameronL said:

I shudder to think what the initiation ceremony involves.

Almost certainly involves the insertion of a rivet.

[CameronL]

7 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Almost certainly involves the insertion of a rivet.

Hopefully cold riveting rather than hot.

[PhilJ W]

1 minute ago, CameronL said:

Hopefully cold riveting rather than hot.

I couldn't say as its a secret society.

[John Besley]

On a slightly different note, we were having a sort out of stuff that was no longer any use to us, books odds and ends so I loaded all up in the car and tooled off to the local charity shop.

 

Carried everything in including the very last which where a pair of stuffed pheasants...

 

I was meet with looks of horror and told " we cant possibly have THOSE on here... we're Animals in Distress"  

 

Opps!

Edited October 30, 2021 by John Besley
Spelling

[The Johnster]

To be fair, it must be some time since the animals in question last actually showed any sign of distress, and they are long past any such display now...

[John Besley]

18 hours ago, The Johnster said:

To be fair, it must be some time since the animals in question last actually showed any sign of distress, and they are long past any such display now...

They died of an overdose of lead at high velocity.... (happy days hunting)

[The Johnster]

That's nothing.  Wild Bill Hickock died of having his back to the door (followed by an overdose of lead at high velocity).

[PhilJ W]

10 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

That's nothing.  Wild Bill Hickock died of having his back to the door (followed by an overdose of lead at high velocity).

Wasn't that Jesse James?

[KeithMacdonald]

On 30/10/2021 at 20:14, CameronL said:

I shudder to think what the initiation ceremony involves.

 

23 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

I couldn't say as its a secret society.

 

First, one has to get past the Guardian of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet. Who guards the doorway to the Lodge of the EBCR. Being armed with a loaded rivet gun, to keep off all intruders and cowans to riveting ritual, and to see that the Candidates are properly prepared. 

[CameronL]

"And it be well for an knowlessman that he should not be here, for he would be taken from this place and his gaskin slit, his moules shown to the four winds, his welchet torn asunder with many hooks and his figgin placed upon a spike."

 

Terry Pratchett - Guards, Guards

Edited November 2, 2021 by CameronL
Added a bit

[KeithMacdonald]

42 minutes ago, CameronL said:

"And it be well for an knowlessman that he should not be here, for he would be taken from this place and his gaskin slit, his moules shown to the four winds, his welchet torn asunder with many hooks and his figgin placed upon a spike."

If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well, it were done quickly.  With a well-riveted spike.

[The Johnster]

3 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

Wasn't that Jesse James?

May well have been, but definitely Wild Bill.  He was shot in the back and died shortly afterwards, from the open doorway of a saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory, on 2nd August 1876 by a man called Jack McCall.  Hickok had bailed McCall out of a game of poker in which he was drunk and losing heavily a few days earlier, telling him to go home and sleep it off, and come back to pay his debts when he was sober, and McCall, publicy humiliated, had taken this as a deadly insult, so was gunning for Wild Bill.  He was apprehended by bystanders at the scene and hanged for the crime, maybe just as well because if Calamity Jane had got hold of him she'd have had his 'nads for earrings.  With her bare hands, probably...

[rab]

12 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

 

First, one has to get past the Guardian of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet. Who guards the doorway to the Lodge of the EBCR. Being armed with a loaded rivet gun, to keep off all intruders and cowans to riveting ritual, and to see that the Candidates are properly prepared. 

Is that speaking from personal experience???

[KeithMacdonald]

13 hours ago, rab said:

Is that speaking from personal experience???

 

I cannot say. I have sworn a sacred oath to conceal, and never reveal, any part or points of the secrets or mysteries of the Counted Rivet. Or the number of Counted Rivets that make a model perfect.

[iL Dottore]

On 31/10/2021 at 20:54, KeithMacdonald said:

First, one has to get past the Guardian of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet. Who guards the doorway to the Lodge of the EBCR. Being armed with a loaded rivet gun, to keep off all intruders and cowans to riveting ritual, and to see that the Candidates are properly prepared. 

1 hour ago, KeithMacdonald said:

I cannot say. I have sworn a sacred oath to conceal, and never reveal, any part or points of the secrets or mysteries of the Counted Rivet. Or the number of Counted Rivets that make a model perfect.

Well, ALL the secret societies say that. Nowadays a quick Google will get you everything you want to know about the EBCR - from the challenge to persons wishing to enter and the response (Guardian of the Gate “Oi you, clearorf” Brother wishing to enter the lodge “give over mate, you want these sarnies and a muggatea or wot?”) to the hierarchy within the lodge - from the junior rivet warmer to the senior basher - even the secrets of the Foreman of the Lodge can be found online…

@KeithMacdonald you sound like a brother riveter, have you mastered the mystery of the POP rivet yet? (if you are a brother, you know of what I speak, if you are a civilian [or “passenger” in some EBCR lodges] this will be all gibberish).

[John Besley]

2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

I cannot say. I have sworn a sacred oath to conceal, and never reveal, any part or points of the secrets or mysteries of the Counted Rivet. Or the number of Counted Rivets that make a model perfect.

Is there any funny handshakes that need mastering?

[F-UnitMad]

9 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

Or the number of Counted Rivets that make a model perfect.

I would've thought that the number of counted rivets that makes a model perfect is the number that exactly matches how many rivets the prototype subject had? 

The big debate is - does that include only rivets visible to the naked eye, or all the rivets a prototype has, which thereby implies that there can never be a truly perfect model.

It is said that Grand Masters subscribe to the second view, which is what makes them such miserable old duffers.

[KeithMacdonald]

9 hours ago, John Besley said:

Is there any funny handshakes that need mastering?

 

For the Junior Brethren, the handshaking is voluntary, followed by ritual greetings.

 

For the Elder Brethren, the shaking hand is involuntary, with the ritual dropping of the Rivet on the Carpet of Life. The Rivet then rolls under the Table of Neccesities, followed by ritual oaths. An Elder Brethren will then say: Brethren, assist me to retrieve the rivet. The Junior Brethren must then bow to the Rivet, and reverently retrieve it from under the Table of Neccesities.

 

[ardbealach]

39 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

For the Junior Brethren, the handshaking is voluntary, followed by ritual greetings.

 

For the Elder Brethren, the shaking hand is involuntary, with the ritual dropping of the Rivet on the Carpet of Life. The Rivet then rolls under the Table of Neccesities, followed by ritual oaths. An Elder Brethren will then say: Brethren, assist me to retrieve the rivet. The Junior Brethren must then bow to the Rivet, and reverently retrieve it from under the Table of Neccesities.

 

At what point (or points) does the argument begin on whether the light blue and the dark blue are the correct shades of blue.  Now I remember back in the old days the darker blues were darker and the lighter blues much lighter. (Alisdair)

[iL Dottore]

Returning to the topic of “how to get lynched at a model railway show“, how’s this for a bit of amusing nastiness?
 

In order to get their expenses repaid and to get their exhibition organiser sponsored lunches, at one point during the exhibition weekend layout-operators will have to swap layouts: those operating “end-to-end” layouts will have to swap with those operating “roundy, roundy“ layouts and those operating fine-scale layouts must switch with those operating 00 (or even better, Thomas the Tank Engine) layouts. A minimum swap time of 30 minutes will be demanded.

 

If nothing else, the resulting chaos would amuse the punters.

[KeithMacdonald]

5 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

It is said that Grand Masters subscribe to the second view, which is what makes them such miserable old duffers.

 

Perfect riveting must come from within.

 

It is said that Grand Masters of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet can see That Which Is Hidden. They are able to make darkness visible and count rivets that are not visible to the uninitiated.

 

It is also said that Grand Masters never die, they just fade to a Pantone-standard grey colour that perfectly blends in with the background, as they ascend to the immortal realms of The Great Modeller Of The Universal Railway.

[MarkC]

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

 

You're forgetting the First Rule of the Counted Rivet Club.

 

"We don't talk about the Counted Rivet Club"...

[33C]

1 hour ago, MarkC said:

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

 

You're forgetting the First Rule of the Counted Rivet Club.

 

"We don't talk about the Counted Rivet Club"...

........we use an A5 news letter, by subscription..... 

[John Besley]

11 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

For the Junior Brethren, the handshaking is voluntary, followed by ritual greetings.

 

For the Elder Brethren, the shaking hand is involuntary, with the ritual dropping of the Rivet on the Carpet of Life. The Rivet then rolls under the Table of Neccesities, followed by ritual oaths. An Elder Brethren will then say: Brethren, assist me to retrieve the rivet. The Junior Brethren must then bow to the Rivet, and reverently retrieve it from under the Table of Neccesities.

 

I take at this point we are referring to cold riveting, I guess hot riveting with the aid of a hydraulic former and Bl""dy big hammer is in a different charter ?