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How to get lynched at a model railway show


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30 minutes ago, DenysW said:

On suspecting from the layout that one has met one of this brotherhood, one asks "Why don't you just use RTR in HO? The dimensions are right, and both sets of Foreigners (Continental, North American) have bigger, better locos."

I took great pleasure at a recent show, in making to walk straight past a British OO layout, complaining to the owner that it wasn't American, & I couldn't relate to it. :nono:

To be fair I know the owner and it's a standing joke between us, as he's exhibited a fair few American layouts, and got the "It's not British" complaint from people far more times than he cares to remember. :rolleyes:

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I am chuckling to myself regarding an unintended link between the posts by The Johnster on Sunday and iL Dottore on Tuesday.  The only way to extract layout expenses from a certain exhibition manager is to pick him up by the ankles and shake.  Bill

Edited by bbishop
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  • 1 month later...
On 01/11/2021 at 23:02, iL Dottore said:

@KeithMacdonald you sound like a brother riveter, have you mastered the mystery of the POP rivet yet? (if you are a brother, you know of what I speak, if you are a civilian [or “passenger” in some EBCR lodges] this will be all gibberish).

 

The Mysteries are revealed at the monthly Convocations. The pop rivet is revered and honoured for its role in the reconstruction of the Holy Temple of Riveters, which came to pass when the Sacred Pillar Trestles gave way and the Sacred Model Layout crashed onto the concrete floor of the Lodge of Riveting Mysteries.

 

Convocations always end with a prayer to poor and distrested riveters, a speedy relief from their suffering, and a safe return to their native land, if they so desire. So mote it be.

 

Candidates are still welcome to apply to become members of the Royal Arch of Minories, to seek for that which was lost, the perfect Minories layout.

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On 02/11/2021 at 12:26, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Perfect riveting must come from within.

 

It is said that Grand Masters of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet can see That Which Is Hidden. They are able to make darkness visible and count rivets that are not visible to the uninitiated.

 

It is also said that Grand Masters never die, they just fade to a Pantone-standard grey colour that perfectly blends in with the background, as they ascend to the immortal realms of The Great Modeller Of The Universal Railway.

 

It has been said that old riveters never die, but you have to join to find out why.

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On 02/11/2021 at 12:26, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Perfect riveting must come from within.

 

It is said that Grand Masters of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet can see That Which Is Hidden. They are able to make darkness visible and count rivets that are not visible to the uninitiated.

An ability gained from crawling around in the

darkness of locomotive boilers and fireboxes

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  • 8 months later...
On 01/11/2021 at 23:02, iL Dottore said:

@KeithMacdonald you sound like a brother riveter, have you mastered the mystery of the POP rivet yet? (if you are a brother, you know of what I speak, if you are a civilian [or “passenger” in some EBCR lodges] this will be all gibberish).

 

@iL Dottore - apologies for not responding sooner. 

 

I regret to admit to the assembled brethren that the Holy Pop-Riveted Arch Chapter has been in some turmoil for the last few months, ever since it became aware that a well-known Radio Two presenter (Ken Bruce) has been revealing the lodge secrets in a long-running saga called Pop Master.

 

Anyway, some personal news, I have been on a nine-month part-time course on the hidden mysteries of riveting, and the construction of the perfect EBCR lodge, for the Great Modeller of the Universe, from which all goodness emanates, their name be for ever blessed.

 

Brethren! Some exciting news from the RMWeb Lodge Secretary, we're working on the integration of the Grand EBCR Lodges of England and France, seeking harmonisation of OO and HO gauges into One True Universal Standard, provisionally called "OHO". It will, inevitably, need a small period of transition, which we hope to facilitate with a special model railway show layout, featuring the best features the OHO Committee has agreed on so far.

 

This includes:

1 - an new OHO model axle with an OO wheel on one end and an HO wheel on the other end

Err, that's it so far.

 

We seek your approval in the usual manner displayed by brethren of the Lodge of EBCR.

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Breaking news!

 

The Grand EBCR Lodge of England has just announced plans for the next version of the One True Universal Standard (Otus) to be revealed at the Reading Railway Show. This will be a bold leap forward, to also integrate N gauge. Accordingly, the project name has been updated from "OHO" to "OhNo".

 

Please reply to the RMWeb Lodge Secretary by email with the subject "OhNo" or "Otus Reading"

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2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

@iL Dottore - apologies for not responding sooner. 

 

I regret to admit to the assembled brethren that the Holy Pop-Riveted Arch Chapter has been in some turmoil for the last few months, ever since it became aware that a well-known Radio Two presenter (Ken Bruce) has been revealing the lodge secrets in a long-running saga called Pop Master.

 

Anyway, some personal news, I have been on a nine-month part-time course on the hidden mysteries of riveting, and the construction of the perfect EBCR lodge, for the Great Modeller of the Universe, from which all goodness emanates, their name be for ever blessed.

 

Brethren! Some exciting news from the RMWeb Lodge Secretary, we're working on the integration of the Grand EBCR Lodges of England and France, seeking harmonisation of OO and HO gauges into One True Universal Standard, provisionally called "OHO". It will, inevitably, need a small period of transition, which we hope to facilitate with a special model railway show layout, featuring the best features the OHO Committee has agreed on so far.

 

This includes:

1 - an new OHO model axle with an OO wheel on one end and an HO wheel on the other end

Err, that's it so far.

 

We seek your approval in the usual manner displayed by brethren of the Lodge of EBCR.

Is Ken Bruce as bad as the Australian one?

 

 

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1 hour ago, St Enodoc said:

How did they work then?

Not very well, as they needed to partially dismantle to wind them up!

 

I had to scroll back to find out what you were talking about.

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11 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

Anyway, some personal news, I have been on a nine-month part-time course on the hidden mysteries of riveting, and the construction of the perfect EBCR lodge, for the Great Modeller of the Universe, from which all goodness emanates, their name be for ever blessed.

We seek your approval in the usual manner displayed by brethren of the Lodge of EBCR.

https://makeagif.com/gif/the-two-ronnies-phantom-raspberry-blower-of-old-london-town-episode-1-khFsL8

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On 31/10/2021 at 21:09, CameronL said:

"And it be well for an knowlessman that he should not be here, for he would be taken from this place and his gaskin slit, his moules shown to the four winds, his welchet torn asunder with many hooks and his figgin placed upon a spike."

Terry Pratchett - Guards, Guards

 

Thanks @CameronL - I hadn't realised that Terry Pratchett was a member of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet. This must be a version of the original ritual written in the EBCR's Volume of Sacred Riveting.

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On 13/09/2022 at 23:58, KeithMacdonald said:

Breaking news!

 

The Grand EBCR Lodge of England has just announced plans for the next version of the One True Universal Standard (Otus) to be revealed at the Reading Railway Show. This will be a bold leap forward, to also integrate N gauge. Accordingly, the project name has been updated from "OHO" to "OhNo".

 

Please reply to the RMWeb Lodge Secretary by email with the subject "OhNo" or "Otus Reading"

 

While in Scotland Lodge 0 (Kilwinning) remains the oldest in the world.  So presumably coarse scale 0!  Kilwinning being just north of Troon where Ayr MRC exhobition will be held this weekend.

 

Jim

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51 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said:

While in Scotland Lodge 0 (Kilwinning) remains the oldest in the world.  So presumably coarse scale 0!  Kilwinning being just north of Troon where Ayr MRC exhobition will be held this weekend.

 

@luckymucklebackit Thanks for the reminder. Many (English) EBCR brethren do not even realise that Scottish EBCR is older and more original. Or that the Scottish EBCR always boasts of doing it bigger and better than English EBCR, with many more grades of initiation. Or even that the original Book of Constitutions of the English EBCR was written by a Scottish person.

 

On a personal note, my late father-in-law was a Master Mariner and Harbour Master for Troon and Ayr. He often warned his young daughters not to go out with members of the Navy or the EBCR (Maritime Chapter), as they had a habit inviting young girls to go on board to see the mysterious Golden Rivet. 

 

Whether model ships also include a model golden rivet is also a hidden mystery.  We might have to go to a Model Ships Show to find out, or to learn how to get lynched at a Model Ships Show.

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37 minutes ago, MyRule1 said:

Excuse my ignorance but is there a link between the EBCR and the EBBC - Exclusive Brotherhood of Bean Counters? Or even the ecclesiastical version the Exclusive Brotherhood of Rev Counters.

 

@MyRule1 - you are quite correct to ask, there is a link. Brethren of the EBBC and EBRC normally have to firstly be initiated into the EBCR, and become a Master Riveter. Then they qualify to join the more-exclusive orders of the EBBC and EBRC.

 

The rule of thumb is that brethren of the EBCR just complain about the models in general (non-exclusively), whereas brethren of the EBBC are qualified to complain most about how much it costs, and brethren of the EBRC can complain about how fast it goes.

 

You might also recall an especially epic thread here on RMWeb on the infamous Rivet Police,  and the notorious crime of "Tracing". Many members of the Rivet Police are also believed to be brethren of the EBRC, and have been known to carry speed cameras to measure the scale speed. One of the absolutely worst crimes of all is an OO gauge "Thomas" doing a scale speed of 200mph.

 

To order brethren! Rise and salute with me to @Ducking Giraffe

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Thanks @CameronL - I hadn't realised that Terry Pratchett was a member of the Elucidated Brethren of the Counted Rivet. This must be a version of the original ritual written in the EBCR's Volume of Sacred Riveting.

Thanks  I hear he did have a brief flirtation with The Most Noble and Ancient Order of the Welded Seam (apparently he was lured by a misunderstanding of the term "full penetration") but the Rivet Counters' Inquisition got him back on the True Path. 

Who  but one of the Brethren could have written Raising Steam?

Edited by CameronL
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2 hours ago, CameronL said:

Thanks  I hear he did have a brief flirtation with The Most Noble and Ancient Order of the Welded Seam (apparently he was lured by a misunderstanding of the term "full penetration") but the Rivet Counters' Inquisition got him back on the True Path. 

Who  but one of the Brethren could have written Raising Steam?

 

Terry Pratchett lived for a while in Broad Chalke, near Salisbury in Wiltshire. Close enough, perhaps, to introduce a homage at the next Calne Model Railway Show?

 

In which the eager EBCR audience can be informed it was inspired partly by the Strategic Steam Reserve, hidden just 10 or so miles away in the Box tunnels, and partly by Peter Gabriel's famous soundtrack "Steam" produced at his studio, also in Box. Some say that was inspired by the sound and reverberation of the steam engines being moved in the tunnels that run underneath his studio.

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6 minutes ago, John Besley said:

How does one get to join this exclusive art ... Is there a correspondence course that one can do and paperwork to fill in and post back or is it all on the hew fangled hinternet

If you need to ask then you are obviously not a suitable candidate for membership.

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4 minutes ago, ian said:

If you need to ask then you are obviously not a suitable candidate for membership.

 

I have done pop rivetting on a Defender 90 and helped rivet up a 57xx buffer beam and bunker... Do these qualify toward my course work?

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