Wild Boar Fell Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Unusual one today on the way back from DEMU, 'This service is delayed due to unusual passenger throughput*' *Not sure throughput was the word used, but something similar anyway. The automated announcement also explained that this service divided at Newcastle and that passengers wanting Dundee should board the front 8 carriages. The rear ... carriages would terminate at Newcastle... Quite puzzled by the latter, especially as the service was 2 x 4-car Voyagers! Wild Boar Fell Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted June 3, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 3, 2017 Actual station announcement at Paddington in the 70s... 'British Rail apologises for the delayed arrival of the xx train from Plymouth. This was caused by unloading a fat passenger at Taunton'. It was a hot summer afternoon, and a very large but jolly lady had boarded the train at Exeter to make the trip to Taunton. The stock was mk1s, and she may have benefitted from the wider doorways of mk2 designs, but anyway the goods settled somewhat in transit and she was unable to get out of the coach at Taunton. Signals were cleared, flags were waved, whistles were blown, but all to no avail. Station Managers were called, Porters were summoned to assist both in advance and in rear, but the more they shoved the stucker she got, amid shrieks of laughter which were probably genuinely at least semi-hysterical by now. Time passed, but the train went nowhere, until a porter had the bright idea of going over the road to the timber yard outside the station and asking to borrow a fork lift and it's driver. This was got on to the platform, some sacks placed over the forks, and she was gently raised by the armpits, and thus delivered safely onto the platform, at which point the loco opened up and headed eastwards as fast as possible! The bloke who made the announcement was an SVR volunteer, as I was myself at one time, and told me the story. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
@Jc Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Heard an unusual announcement a couple of months back while travelling to Norwich from London. We came to a sudden halt just outside Norwich and after a few seconds the guard announced something along the lines of "Sorry for the delay but we we have just been informed that there is a swan on the line in front of us. We are going to be travelling at a reduced speed until we are clear of the affected area". This was met by much laughter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium uax6 Posted June 3, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 3, 2017 Don't underestimate swans, they are vicious and do a lot of damage to trains... We have to caution for them, and 6 or more sheep, but not for dogs.... Andy G Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesg Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 ... The automated announcement also explained that this service divided at Newcastle and that passengers wanting Dundee should board the front 8 carriages. The rear ... carriages would terminate at Newcastle... Quite puzzled by the latter, especially as the service was 2 x 4-car Voyagers! Wild Boar Fell The trains near me are clever enough now to report overcrowding to the station information boards. While a train I was on recently was stopped at the platform, I noticed the message on the information board: "This service is formed of 3 coaches. Overcrowding has been reported in the front 3 coaches." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted June 3, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 3, 2017 Don't underestimate swans, they are vicious and do a lot of damage to trains... We have to caution for them, and 6 or more sheep, but not for dogs.... Andy G You can't go round running swans down, or if you do you have to offer them to the Queen for dinner. The trains near me are clever enough now to report overcrowding to the station information boards. While a train I was on recently was stopped at the platform, I noticed the message on the information board: "This service is formed of 3 coaches. Overcrowding has been reported in the front 3 coaches." Well, just ride in the rear 3 then. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Boar Fell Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 The trains near me are clever enough now to report overcrowding to the station information boards. While a train I was on recently was stopped at the platform, I noticed the message on the information board: "This service is formed of 3 coaches. Overcrowding has been reported in the front 3 coaches." Odd thing was, the train wasn't particularly busy (maybe 50% of seats taken). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branwell Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 I remember being on the last Leeds to Carlisle train of the day several years ago. Usual sort of announcement from the guard on the approach to Bingley - "Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop in a few moments' time will be Bingley". Except we didn't stop. We should have done, but we didn't. Cue sudden application of the brakes and a further announcement from the guard - "Ladies and gentlemen, the last stop should have been Bingley, but as you can see we've missed. We are now seeking permission to reverse." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejstubbs Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 You can't go round running swans down, or if you do you have to offer them to the Queen for dinner. Not really. In theory the crown has legally unexercised (and highly likely to be legally unexercisable) ownership rights for unmarked mute swans in open water. So if the swan is on the railway, rather than in open water, then those legally unexercisable rights don't apply anyway. That's why swan upping (which is a purely symbolic event these days, only takes place on the Thames and no longer involves marking the birds' beaks) has to be carried out from boats. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejstubbs Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 If you think that's bad, a friend of mine has just had his first newborn daughter. Coming from an Irish background they've gone for the name Niamh - Pronounced as 'Neave'. You wouldn't believe the amount of time's he's had her called Niamha though! I find that quite disappointing. I had fondly imagined that Irish names like Niamh, Siobhan and Saoirse were fairly well known these days, at least within the British Isles. I do agree, though, that Scottish Gaelic can be baffling. The example that always comes to my mind is Coire an t-Sneachda on Cairngorm. The "coire" bit is easy enough, but the remainder is apparently pronounced correctly as something like "an treck". No doubt someone will pipe up to explain how it's all entirely logical, but I will always find it hard to deal with such wanton creation and deletion of consonant sounds. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted June 4, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 4, 2017 I find that quite disappointing. I had fondly imagined that Irish names like Niamh, Siobhan and Saoirse were fairly well known these days, at least within the British Isles. I do agree, though, that Scottish Gaelic can be baffling. The example that always comes to my mind is Coire an t-Sneachda on Cairngorm. The "coire" bit is easy enough, but the remainder is apparently pronounced correctly as something like "an treck". No doubt someone will pipe up to explain how it's all entirely logical, but I will always find it hard to deal with such wanton creation and deletion of consonant sounds. A Scots Gaelic speaker might say the same about the way we use consonant sounds. Both Welsh and Gaelic have a lot more dipthongs than English, many of which are used in the mutations, and both avoid 'hard' sounds; there is no K or Z, these were introduced by the Germanically inclined Saxons. Not that that makes it any less baffling! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted June 4, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 4, 2017 I remember being on the last Leeds to Carlisle train of the day several years ago. Usual sort of announcement from the guard on the approach to Bingley - "Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop in a few moments' time will be Bingley". Except we didn't stop. We should have done, but we didn't. Cue sudden application of the brakes and a further announcement from the guard - "Ladies and gentlemen, the last stop should have been Bingley, but as you can see we've missed. We are now seeking permission to reverse." Some years ago (must have been leaf fall season) I was on a train where the driver announced that we'd just slid through the last station and anybody who had planned on getting off there would need to get off at the next stop and get the next train going the other way. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted June 4, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 4, 2017 Between 1995 and 2000 I had annual seasons Reading - Zones 5 & 6 (I commuted to Teddington, changing at Twickenham, 3 1/4 hours per day). This was in the days of slam-door stock - I became a father and started driving just as the current sliding-door trains came in - I've used them often enough since; nowhere near as comfortable. Anyway... Heard an unusual announcement a couple of months back while travelling to Norwich from London. We came to a sudden halt just outside Norwich and after a few seconds the guard announced something along the lines of "Sorry for the delay but we we have just been informed that there is a swan on the line in front of us. We are going to be travelling at a reduced speed until we are clear of the affected area". This was met by much laughter. One day we were held a Staines for about half-an-hour: we were told there was a swan on the bridge (over the Thames) which the staff were trying to persuade off. I've seen swans landing on the Thames bridges in Reading and also Vastern Road. I was told that young and inexperienced swans can confuse the grey tarmac for the river - not clear how a swan would mistake the railway bridge, though. Then there was the time when a mother duck tried to take her family of ducklings across the M3 under my nose at 70 mph... I remember being on the last Leeds to Carlisle train of the day several years ago. Usual sort of announcement from the guard on the approach to Bingley - "Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop in a few moments' time will be Bingley". Except we didn't stop. We should have done, but we didn't. Cue sudden application of the brakes and a further announcement from the guard - "Ladies and gentlemen, the last stop should have been Bingley, but as you can see we've missed. We are now seeking permission to reverse." Similar experience approaching Virginia Water one wet autumn morning - brakes went on but it became increasingly apparent we weren't going to stop... The train drew up beyond the junction; driver could be seen phoning the bobby (proper trains where you could lean out of the window). At first we were told we would back up to the platform but I presume the fact we'd have to go wrong way through the trailing connection from the Chertsey line put paid to that. After about 20 minutes' dithering we were told we'd go on to Egham and passengers for Virginia Water would have to cross to the other platform and wait for the next Reading train. Those morning trains were an interesting social study. Usually I got the 07:29 from Reading - from Ascot on, it was all FT; if I took the later train (07:55?) it would be women with the Daily Mail and older men with the Telegraph. Back to announcements: one evening at Teddington the train failed to turn up but a man came round from Wimbledon to explain that there'd been "a fi' on the train" - he was very saf' lunnon. This wasn't immediately intelligible to the assembled well-spoken Teddingtonians; he had to repeat himself several times. At last understanding dawned (or so it was thought): "A fire on the train? do hope nobody was hurt." He started to see the misunderstanding, repeating with increasing frustration: "No, not a fi', a fi', the p'lice are there". "Why the police not the fire brigade?". Finally the penny dropped: "Oh, a fight, not a fire - how dreadful..." Reminded by the tale of the man piling onto the train at New Street at the last moment and being told to change at Liverpool for Bornemouth; I've been guilty of that myself. Dashing for the 17:48 at Teddington; train at the platform, doors about to close... just made it. Disturbed to find us taking the wrong turning at Strawberry Hill - I'd leapt on a late-running Shepperton train! I decided it would be quickest to walk from Fulwell to Whitton... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted June 4, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 4, 2017 Both Welsh and Gaelic have a lot more dipthongs than English, many of which are used in the mutations, and both avoid 'hard' sounds; there is no K or Z, these were introduced by the Germanically inclined Saxons. Welsh does have a K sound, however they spell it C. It also has the other "hard" sounds, i.e. P and T. (Did you mean something else by "hard"?) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwealleans Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 I can exclusively reveal that the trolley dolly on the 15:03 BHM - Dundee is apparently Shania Twain. I hope he doesn’t mind me saying he’s added a few pounds since his “Man, I feel like a woman” days. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Claude_Dreyfus Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2018 Pulling into East Croydon once. Announcement on the PA "Ladies and Gentleman, this is East Croydon. Please mind the gap between the timetable and reality". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edwin_m Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 Don't underestimate swans, they are vicious and do a lot of damage to trains... We have to caution for them, and 6 or more sheep, but not for dogs.... Andy G If the driver has to count the sheep, does that make it a fatigue hazard? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobby Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 The automated announcement also explained that this service divided at Newcastle and that passengers wanting Dundee should board the front 8 carriages. The rear ... carriages would terminate at Newcastle... Quite puzzled by the latter, especially as the service was 2 x 4-car Voyagers! If it was a station announcement I can probably explain that. Tuesday to Friday the train reverses at Newcastle and splits, rear set going to Scotland. On a Monday both sets go through, if its an automated announcement it's probably been instructed to check the number of carriages north of NCL which on a Monday will be 8,9 or 10 so it will announce that... Then it finds that there aren't any more! Computers aren't very good at that sort of thing unless they've been instructed correctly (i.e. in this case not to bother with that part of the announcement on Mondays!!)... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold rodent279 Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 29, 2018 I well remember a character who used to work on the platform at Leighton Buzzard, walking along the platform announcing the incoming stopper to Milton Keynes as "Bletchley, Milton Keynes & Blackpool"... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcordingley Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 Heading back to deepest Sussex from Ally Pally last Sunday, and the Southern conductor announces: "we are now cruising at 6 feet and the the next station stop is Gatwick Airport". I thought it was quite amusing at the time, but I do wonder if he says this every time he stops there.... David Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave47549 Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Gwiwer Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2018 Heading back to deepest Sussex from Ally Pally last Sunday, and the Southern conductor announces: "we are now cruising at 6 feet and the the next station stop is Gatwick Airport". I thought it was quite amusing at the time, but I do wonder if he says this every time he stops there.... David Yes. He’s a regular. I have heard that. It used to be suffixed with “Refreshments will be served after take-off” in the days of trolley service. Variations on a theme are found from time to time. I myself used to make an announcement when driving the (tourist-filled) bus to or from Lands End. “Welcome aboard Western National’s Lands End service. We shall be cruising at around 28mph and at an altitude of just over one metre. Refreshments are strictly bring-your-own and remove any rubbish. Thank you “. It attracted many grins and won me a customer service award. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium ColinK Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2018 Heading back by train from London Charing Cross to our campsite, the pa bursts into life ‘we are now approaching Lewisham, change hear for the Docklands Light Railway’. No mention that there are no DLR services as they are on strike. The perils of automated announcements. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2018 Heading back by train from London Charing Cross to our campsite, the pa bursts into life ‘we are now approaching Lewisham, change hear for the Docklands Light Railway’. No mention that there are no DLR services as they are on strike. The perils of automated announcements. I suppose you could change there...might just have a bit of a wait... I quite liked a comment from a guard a few days ago as he passed through the carriage - something like "Sorry for being so cheerful - I'm new to the job. Don't worry - it won't last" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium figworthy Posted March 29, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2018 Not sure that "Bizarre" is quite the right word, but.... A few years back, on a Paddington - Swansea service approaching Swindon, at the end of the usual change at x for y stuff was "Change at Swansea for far away places with strange sounding names". Adrian Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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