Dating, women and the 'hobby'...

[Iain Popplewell]

Not many though, perhaps Immingham?

 

Mike.

 

I may live in the leafy Yorkshire dales market town of Shipley now, but I was lucky enough to be born and raised in smoggy 1960's Newport Middlesbrough. I can remember as a small child gazing across the steaming river Tees to Billingham and thinking, well things could be worse, I might live over there.

 

 

 

Eeh those where the days we had now't but Bronchitis, but we were happy!

Edited May 2, 2018 by Iain Popplewell

[Enterprisingwestern]

I may live in the leafy Yorkshire dales market town of Shipley now, but I was lucky enough to be born and raised in smoggy 1960's Newport Middlesbrough. I can remember as a small child gazing across the steaming river Tees to Billingham and thinking, well things could be worse, I might live over there.

 

 

 

Eeh those where the days we had now't but Bronchitis, but we were happy!

 

I always presumed, that, due to the chemical factories, nothing lived in Billingham?

 

Mike.

[Iain Popplewell]

I always presumed, that, due to the chemical factories, nothing lived in Billingham?

 

Mike.

 

 I believe signs of simple lower life forms have been detected in Billingham. In the mid 1970's I believe Nasa tested a probe there with a view to a future mission to the surface of Venus.

The probe subsequently landed on Venus, but was only a partial success and was destroyed by the caustic atmosphere of Venus after 15 minutes. This unexpected early failure of the probe disappointed the Nasa engineers as the probe had previously survived 3 minutes in the far more hostile atmosphere of Billingham.

Edited May 2, 2018 by Iain Popplewell

[Baby Deltic]

 I believe signs of simple lower life forms have been detected in Billingham. In the mid 1970's I believe Nasa tested a probe there with a view to a future mission to the surface of Venus.

The probe subsequently landed on Venus, but was only a partial success and was destroyed by the caustic atmosphere of Venus after 15 minutes. This unexpected early failure of the probe disappointed the Nasa engineers as the probe had previously survived 3 minutes in the far more hostile atmosphere of Billingham.

I would have thought the atmosphere in some trainspotter's anoraks would be far more dangerous, and as for the 'Y' fronts.....

[Lancaster622]

The way I see things from my own experience is as follows:

 

I am still on my own, despite not following the regulation that seems to apply to our hobby of not regularly washing/using deodorant every or eternally wearing the same clothing 3 months straight, but like to think that at 28 there is time yet, so I may not be the best to pass on my opinion but here goes.

 

When it comes to the opposite sex I am quite open about my hobbies (I don't launch it at them straight away haha, I tend to let it come up on conversation) as it is part of me and there is no sense in hiding it because they will find out if all goes well and then you have set a precedent for not being all that honest. 

 

Some will still (despite this rumor that girls mature quicker than boys) immediately take the mickey like we are back in school again - but lets face it this situation = a shame but would you really want to be with someone who is going to act like that?

 

Some will mickey take gently and in such a way that you share a mutual joke and it's all harmless

 

Some will find it quite interesting and are then more at ease talking about their own hobbies (knitting seems to be one that girls I have known are nervous about mentioning) 

 

Trust me there are worse things to have to explain than model railways myself it is a mild complaint in the scheme of things, but due to a combination of bad dentistry (they actually got shut down by the Police ultimately for employing non-qualified Dentists and I think there were other charges too)  and an accident while doing PE at school I had to have my top teeth removed that makes me nervous as hell to tell a girl but if it bothers her then I would rather know sooner than later if you follow? At 28 I don't think you should be missing teeth in this day and age but there it is.

 

The main issue and I am sorry but this is a one way street from my experience is that if a woman or girl is at a exhibition/real railway event there is a awful lot of staring that goes on, now I don't mean second looks I mean almost dribbling which I find off putting as another bloke so god knows what the person they are looking at feels like.

 

Basically I think that it is worth remembering that we are talking about real people with real feelings etc  So be honest not forceful about your hobby, don't be creepy, wash etc and treat them as you would anyone else which I feel is the key part, you can ask them for a drink later but initially just talk normally

 

Christopher

[Edge]

I have a saintly friend who agreed to come with me to the NEC last year so as not to waste a ticket that I’d bought for someone else who couldn’t come.

 

She was a sport (as she was visibly pregnant at the time) and I must say that for the most part people were extremely accommodating and kind towards her and by extension, me. Crowds in front of layouts parted and I even got a big discount on a 1F at the Bachmann stand (I think the sales guy assumed she was my gf/wife and thought that this was there last thing I’d get to buy for a very long time) and she played the part of a doting girlfriend perfectly when she decided it was necessary (her choice, not mine )

 

Now this lady has absolutely no interest in model trains but knew how to appreciate hard work when she saw it.

 

However, she’s made me promise to take her and her daughter to Bekonscot in a few years, so maybe there is hope after all

[rockershovel]

I once had the curious experience of spending several days on a small work craft, with someone who was passionately interested in Japanese animation programmes. He had a quite ENORMOUS collection of photographs of his time at “Cons”, sometimes dressed as characters.

 

THAT was an educational experience... one thing I would say, I’ve never seen a railway modeller dressed as “Princess Leila” .

Edited May 2, 2018 by rockershovel

[rockershovel]

A propos anoraks, like quite a few veteran riders, I have a set of racing leathers which carry the marks of decades of exposure to sweat, methanol, Castro R, grass and shale. They aren’t really very nice at all.

[TheQ]

Luckily my sailing gear has a very hard life and has to be replaced regularly, Sailing in the winter isn't pleasant with leaking waterproofs..

[Enterprisingwestern]

As a general word of advice, by all means admit to your hobby, a reasonable woman will accept it, but don't let it get in the way of a relationship. I learnt the hard way and have regretted it ever since.

 

Mike.

[chris p bacon]

As a general word of advice, by all means admit to your hobby, a reasonable woman will accept it, but don't let it get in the way of a relationship. I learnt the hard way and have regretted it ever since.

 

Mike.

 

 

You let her take over. . .didn't you. . .

[Enterprisingwestern]

You let her take over. . .didn't you. . .

 

Virtually the opposite actually.

 

Mike.

[Iain Popplewell]

Well to be fair, I don’t like computers and they have been paying my mortgage for last 15 years!

 

 Wow! Talltim that's so clever. What did you hack into? Was it your employers payroll system or the building society/bank computer.   

[MJI]

 Wow! Talltim that's so clever. What did you hack into? Was it your employers payroll system or the building society/bank computer. 

 

Lots of IT professionals think like that

[darrel]

So I've been dating a girl for a couple of months shes a barmaid. Shes lovely intelligent funny good looking. Cant believe my luck. Anyway we were talking and she happened to mention her uncle used to have a train set and so did she. So I asked her what would she think if a guy had a model railway. She said she would love it. 

Shes a keeper 

[Ben Alder]

Down side to that is that it will be difficult to explain expenditure... mine fortunately takes no interest in my hobby despite her uncle having been a driver at Haymarket.

[richard i]

Recipe for arguments . Do you go for the modern mainline in n gauge or the pre grouping branch line in o gauge?

richard

[TheQ]

It's depends which one takes up most of HER space..

[RedgateModels]

7 hours ago, darrel said:

So I've been dating a girl for a couple of months shes a barmaid. Shes lovely intelligent funny good looking. Cant believe my luck. Anyway we were talking and she happened to mention her uncle used to have a train set and so did she. So I asked her what would she think if a guy had a model railway. She said she would love it. 

Shes a keeper 

 

Well done

[OnTheBranchline]

16 hours ago, darrel said:

So I've been dating a girl for a couple of months shes a barmaid. Shes lovely intelligent funny good looking. Cant believe my luck. Anyway we were talking and she happened to mention her uncle used to have a train set and so did she. So I asked her what would she think if a guy had a model railway. She said she would love it. 

Shes a keeper 

 

Careful, it's more important that she chooses to keep you!  

[Dava]

Mrs Dava has serial crochet, Pandora collecting and cat habits, so mutual tolerance is important. Just wish she'd take up painting miniatures so she could do some figures for me! She came to a GOG event at Kettering once but found them a bit odd. We are ok with preserved railways with nice carriages, including diesels, so long as they're better than East Midlands Trains [not hard these days!].

 

Dava 

[Steamport Southport]

17 hours ago, darrel said:

So I've been dating a girl for a couple of months shes a barmaid. Shes lovely intelligent funny good looking. Cant believe my luck. Anyway we were talking and she happened to mention her uncle used to have a train set and so did she. So I asked her what would she think if a guy had a model railway. She said she would love it. 

Shes a keeper 

 

She keeps you in a cage? 

 

 

 

Jason

[The Johnster]

I think that's a subject for another topic, Jason...

 

Mind, it doesn't matter so long as there's room in the cage for a layout!

[Poggy1165]

Women come in infinite variety. In that they are rather like blokes. How many of your (male) mates like railways, or models? Probably not all. Maybe not any. I have a mate who has no interest in modelling whatsoever. Mind you, he's a boring git who doesn't like dogs either, and has very little interest in history and understands politics about as well as a hamster. So we have little to talk about except City.

 

You need a tolerant woman who doesn't expect the house to look like the Ideal Home Exhibition. And in return, you need to be tolerant of her little quirks because, chaps, we (humans) all have them. I'm lucky, my missus has always not only tolerated my interest in model railways but supported it. But in return I don't moan about her obsession with paper crafts.  We share a lot of tools and she is a big customer of Squires and Eileen's!

 

 

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

I so strongly second 'poggy1165' on the importance of both working at 'getting on' in all aspects of your shared life. And there is no fixed formula beyond that point. I know happy couples ranging from practically 'joined at the hip', to almost always engaged in different projects or work such that they are rarely seen together. So long as both are happy with the relationship, that's all that matters.

 

And never worry about the potential partner who in some way 'doesn't approve' or whatever. That's unlikely to last even if you abandoned the 'unapproved of' activity. Younger men are somewhat apt to idealise women, but there are a goodly number of selfish, controlling and outright dimwit specimens out there, who fall in the Avoid! Avoid! Avoid! category. (I have met a few. How about 'intolerant of open sandals on men' or 'never going to eat Asian food'? Byeee!)