Dating, women and the 'hobby'...

[rockershovel]

I really must mention at this point that a sizeable proportion of the members of the club I’ve come to roost at, are either past or present railwaymen, or engineers from the oil and gas sector. One is a Church organist, another a retired headmaster. I don’t recognise the cliche about scruffy, under-groomed, overweight men with rucksacks anywhere amongst them. 

 

I’d also like to offer a small bouquet to the ladies of Northants and Rutland O Gauge Group, for their quite exceptional cake and sandwiches at running days...

 

[Northmoor]

I've certainly met plenty of the stereotype when out visiting railways, or just "at the end of the platform" (and many of my contemporaries in my youth, thought me one of them), so they certainly exist  I've also seen a lot of very strangely-behaved people at football matches, but that is considered the most normal thing in the world to be obsessed about.  However I have met more seriously bright people around railways than I would have done anywhere else. 

The current growing acceptance of our hobby I think results from (a) a growth in creative hobbies in general (thanks to TV's Bake-Off, Sewing Bee, Artist of the Year etc.) and (b) the media noticing that "some of them" are actually interested in it.  The entertainment industry isn't really interested in anyone who isn't in the entertainment industry, therefore if some of them are interested in model railways, it must be acceptable.

Merry Christmas to all.

[davefromacrossthepond]

I have to say that my wife has been nothing but supportive of my hobby and she tracks the various shows as closely as I do - and yes, she attends them all with me and often assists when there is something in particular that I am looking for.  Needless to say I am fully supportive of her hobbies and interests.  Yeah, I'm a pretty lucky guy!

[The Johnster]

2 hours ago, rockershovel said:

don’t recognise the cliche about scruffy, under-groomed, overweight men with rucksacks anywhere amongst them. 

 

They exist on platform ends and as show punters as has been stated, but I suspect very few are modellers in the creative sense.  I can't criticise, being of the scruffy undergroomed overweight persuasion myself, though like Queen Victoria I have a bath every xmas whether I need one or not.  I do, however, leave my rucksack at the door at shows and take a couple of placcy carriers in my pocket for the shopping spree.  This is the 'third pass'; I go around the show in three passes, firstly to establish where everything I want to see is, secondly to see it, and thirdly to buy things (or collect things I've bought earlier and had put aside)  so that I only have to lug bags about towards the end of the visit,  Then it all goes in the rucksack and I go over the pub.  Sometimes TomParryHarry comes with me.

Edited December 24, 2020 by The Johnster

[rob D2]

3 hours ago, rockershovel said:

I really must mention at this point that a sizeable proportion of the members of the club I’ve come to roost at, are either past or present railwaymen, or engineers from the oil and gas sector. One is a Church organist, another a retired headmaster. I don’t recognise the cliche about scruffy, under-groomed, overweight men with rucksacks anywhere amongst them. 

 

I’d also like to offer a small bouquet to the ladies of Northants and Rutland O Gauge Group, for their quite exceptional cake and sandwiches at running days...

 

Gawd, you haven’t been to many shows then !

Unfortuntely the queue often looks like the stereotype - but we can’t judge books by their covers I guess .

[Nick_Burman]

On 08/01/2013 at 00:41, TheSignalEngineer said:

At least they know that when you are playing with your trains you are probably not playing with other women.

 

When they don't think the hobby is "the other". When I still lived in Brazil I remember a very talented and accomplished modeller who had had to quit both the local club and the hobby because the missus objected to both. More remarkably he didn't raise a finger to counter her objections.

 

The owner of my local hobby shop collected cases of hobby jealousy.There was the gent who returned from work only to find all his model trains spread across the entrance of the apartment block he lived - missus took the opportunity that he was not home, emptied his train cupboard and threw everything from the fifth floor. Confronted with the situation he collected what remained, went up to his flat and, without uttering a word to hers indoors, packed his suitcase and left. Next morning he sued for divorce.

 

Then there was the guy who used to frequent another hobby shop where he used to buy Rivarossi locomotives at unbelievably low prices. He would take them home and, a couple of days later, hers indoors would take the locomotive back to the shop and sell for half of the price he had bought them for. This went on for a while, until the day he was chatting to the owner and asked how come he would come across such locomotives at such prices. "Oh, a lady brings them to me" was the answer. Since the guy was suspecting about the sudden disappearance of equipment from his cupboard, he opened his wallet, fished a picture of wife and flourished it to the hobby shop owner: "Is this her?" "Yes" came the answer. Return home, one huge domestic row and scratch one marriage.

 

 

Cheers Nicholas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nick_Burman]

Deleted - duplicate post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 24, 2020 by Nick_Burman

[Steamport Southport]

1 hour ago, Nick_Burman said:

 

When they don't think the hobby is "the other". When I still lived in Brazil I remember a very talented and accomplished modeller who had had to quit both the local club and the hobby because the missus objected to both. More remarkably he didn't raise a finger to counter her objections.

 

The owner of my local hobby shop collected cases of hobby jealousy.There was the gent who returned from work only to find all his model trains spread across the entrance of the apartment block he lived - missus took the opportunity that he was not home, emptied his train cupboard and threw everything from the fifth floor. Confronted with the situation he collected what remained, went up to his flat and, without uttering a word to hers indoors, packed his suitcase and left. Next morning he sued for divorce.

 

Then there was the guy who used to frequent another hobby shop where he used to buy Rivarossi locomotives at unbelievably low prices. He would take them home and, a couple of days later, hers indoors would take the locomotive back to the shop and sell for half of the price he had bought them for. This went on for a while, until the day he was chatting to the owner and asked how come he would come across such locomotives at such prices. "Oh, a lady brings them to me" was the answer. Since the guy was suspecting about the sudden disappearance of equipment from his cupboard, he opened his wallet, fished a picture of wife and flourished it to the hobby shop owner: "Is this her?" "Yes" came the answer. Return home, one huge domestic row and scratch one marriage.

 

 

Cheers Nicholas

 

I know of a good lawyer if anyone needs one....

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-55370919

[westerner]

I thought this thread had died a death.

Edited December 24, 2020 by westerner

[APOLLO]

Fred dead ?

 

Women - I knew one once, took her to see India at the Oval - Strange creature, she disappeared with my wallet !!!!!!!!!!

 

Brit15 

[Ron Ron Ron]

19 hours ago, rockershovel said:

 

.....I’d also like to offer a small bouquet to the ladies of Northants and Rutland O Gauge Group, for their quite exceptional cake and sandwiches at running days...

 

Crikey!

I thought if you said something like that on a public forum, these days, there’d be an outcry and the police would be knocking on your door to investigate a hate crime.

 

 

.

[Ron Ron Ron]

15 hours ago, rob D2 said:

Gawd, you haven’t been to many shows then !

Unfortuntely the queue often looks like the stereotype - but we can’t judge books by their covers I guess .

At one show I’ve frequented for most of the last 20 years, the wait for the doors opening looks like the queue for a soup kitchen.

I will admit to being rather embarrassed to be there, before we go in.

 

 

.

[PhilJ W]

It takes a lot to culture* that image. The unwashed jeans, the moth eaten jumper both with evidence of meals past. *And a lot of culture on the aforesaid jeans and jumper.

[The Johnster]

As in 'don't mock my beer belly, it took me years, and it cost a lot of money.  Mostly other peoples'...'.

[rob D2]

20 hours ago, westerner said:

I thought this thread had died a death.

No, but thank you for that useful contribution 

[rockershovel]

8 hours ago, Ron Ron Ron said:

Crikey!

I thought if you said something like that on a public forum, these days, there’d be an outcry and the police would be knocking on your door to investigate a hate crime.

 

 

.

 

Why? Are sandwiches illegal? 

[westerner]

1 hour ago, rob D2 said:

No, but thank you for that useful contribution 

I 'm glad you found it useful. ☺

[Wheatley]

On 07/01/2013 at 22:02, OnTheBranchline said:

When you are dating or dated women (or men conceivably), how do you talk about your model railway interest? Is it straight away or do you ease into it? When do you, how did they take it?

First proper gf worked on the railway with me so my interest was not really a surprise and I didn't hide it. The current Mrs Wheatley liked trains to start with so I took some of my train photos on our first date and she didn't run away.

 

In between the model aeroplanes have caused more comment than the trains. 

 

"Why is there a big aeroplane on top of your wardrobe ?"

 

Because it won't fit on the shelf in the study with the others, obviously. 

 

The only time I ever got an adverse reaction was when I persuaded a fellow archaeology student to come out for the day to survey a "hill top defensive structure". She was expecting a hill fort but found herself holding the other end of a tape measure while I recorded the former Q Shed at RAF Binbrook. Not amused. 

 

In all cases I've been up front, if they don't get it that's fine, but if they object or take the mick that isn't. 

[Northmoor]

My (now) wife learned early on I was "into railways".  A colleague of hers saw me one Saturday waiting on a local railway bridge for a passing steam special and, err, passed on the information, asking here if she was aware that I was a train spotter.  She took it well and we're still together 24 years, two children and a few job changes (but no permanent model railway) later.

I second those above who've said if your partner ridicules your hobbies and interests at an early stage you are best to get yourself far away.  Just like any abusive and controlling relationship, it WON'T get better.

[MJI]

People need to realise that modelling is very about mindfulness.

 

A couple of hours modelling make us happy.

[Tangoman69]

4 hours ago, Wheatley said:

First proper gf worked on the railway with me so my interest was not really a surprise and I didn't hide it. The current Mrs Wheatley liked trains to start with so I took some of my train photos on our first date and she didn't run away.

 

In between the model aeroplanes have caused more comment than the trains. 

 

"Why is there a big aeroplane on top of your wardrobe ?"

 

Because it won't fit on the shelf in the study with the others, obviously. 

 

The only time I ever got an adverse reaction was when I persuaded a fellow archaeology student to come out for the day to survey a "hill top defensive structure". She was expecting a hill fort but found herself holding the othernd of a tape measure while I recorded the former Q Shed at RAF Binbrook. Not amused.

In all cases I've been up front, if they don't get it that's fine, but if they object or take the mick that isn't. 

I spent 18 months based at RAF Binbrook, but working at Stenigot for us who used to be dressed in green 

[SM42]

15 hours ago, Northmoor said:

I second those above who've said if your partner ridicules your hobbies and interests at an early stage you are best to get yourself far away.  Just like any abusive and controlling relationship, it WON'T get better.

 

Indeed.

 

Honesty, respect , trust and time for you each to persue  your own individual hobbies and interests are what really makes a good realtionship.

 

Mess with any of those at your peril.

 

Andy

[rob D2]

At the end of the day I can replace my wife , I don’t want a new hobby ...

 

[Ron Ron Ron]

3 hours ago, rob D2 said:

At the end of the day I can replace my wife , I don’t want a new hobby ...

 

 

One of those is a substantially cheaper option than the other.

I won't leave you to guess which one !

 

 

 

.

[Enterprisingwestern]

 

If she objects, just remind her of the weapons of mass destruction you have in your modelling armoury and that you know how to use them!

 

Mike.