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Dating, women and the 'hobby'...


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2 hours ago, Chuffinell said:

Lucky here as my lady was always into the hobby. Bit of a bonus too as I was able to re-use the mechanism out of her old "Rampant Rabbit" to power my working model of a beam engine. Had to gear it down quite a bit obviously...….but on the other hand it gets through far fewer batteries than when it was in its previous usage:unsure:

beam eng4.jpg

Now, see, I've got this mental image of the beam going up and down 'vigorously'.  And I can't unget it...

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2 hours ago, Grizz said:

Dating, Women and ‘the Hobby’..

 

Let’s face it in the past ‘the hobby’ has suffered from what is now referred to as ‘Image Issues’. And not without justification.
This has not helped in the dating stakes for some. Although as some have previously said it is slightly more acceptable today.


After a few years together I clearly remember one of the very few exhibitions that Mrs Grizz kindly consented to attend with me, many years ago before we had kids. It was a very hot day in a small market town in East Sussex and the annual model railway exhibition was rammed.

 

On the particular day in question several less fortunate members of our model railway community had clearly be allowed out without supervision.....or their annual bath......based on the eye watering, nose bleeding, face evidence of it. I mean it was REAL BAD! 
To paint the picture, the prime specimen of this unfortunate breed was significantly overweight. Carrying a little extra weight, not a crime in itself as I can myself attest to, however I think it was a combination of firstly the aroma and secondly the clothes. Although to be fair one may well have been the primary cause of the other.


Description.

Age 35-40 but looked like a younger man in his grandads clothes. Well worn shoes that were at least 20 years old, with one sole coming away at the front. Beigey brown, but were definitely once grey, trousers with various unmentionable stains in unmentionable places. A greyish yellow shirt that was once definitely white, with the same staining motif! A greeny browny greyish patterned knitted tank top, with added staining......obviously mostly food based. 
Hair, greased by lack of water and soap. 
The smell was unreal! To be fair this poor guy was by far the worst example I have ever seen. He was carrying a tartan shopping bag and insisted on push his way to the front when at any of the layouts or trade stands. At one point we watched him take out of his bag a flipping great wedge of cash to pay for several locos. He then just kept showing up going around and around the rooms, but by this time pretty near everyone had noticed but the crowded event made it impossible to move away quickly. He was not the only guy like this though, but the others weren’t so hardcore. 
 

After passing an initial, very discreet, comment to me regarding this episode nothing else was said, but Mrs Grizz and I later talked at some length about the show and the characterful nature of some of the attendees. She asked why you don’t see these people on a daily basis in the street. To be clear she wasn’t being derogatory or unkind in her comments, possibly a bit shocked. Couldn’t really answer her question. . What is it about ‘the hobby’ that attracts people of a certain appearance and, for want of a better word, Smell?????? They seem to be drawn to model railways, railways, steam and diesel galas in general and possibly buses? 
 

Anyone else noticed this? Is it something that is peculiar to the UK? I have travelled extensively on railways in Northern Europe and hung around railway stations taking photos etc and been to numerous model railway events and museums etc and yet I have never seen the equivalent obsessive, often disheveled type of character? 
 

 

Stereotypes wouldn't be stereotypes if there wasn't some basis for the stereotyping.

 

An ex (we're still chums) who was diagnosed with Aspergers explained it thus; people with certain conditions, especially ones in which their ability to relate to or deal with other people is compromised (and that's pretty much any condition that Autism has a bearing on), firstly do not feel the need to conform to what we would describe as societal standards of appearance or hygiene.  They actually don't understand why it's a problem for us 'norms' (I'm pushing the envelope describing myself as a norm, btw) because they spend most of their time alone.  The only time they go out is to the model/RPG shop, and to exhibitions, heritage railways, and such.  As has been said the bus hobby is more infiltrated than ours and they can be seen riding around on buses and annoying the drivers, who cope as best they can.  Their fragrancy causes them no problem, and they do not see why it is an issue for anyone else; they don't understand anyone else because they actually can't, seriously.

 

Secondly, because they do not 'fit' in 'our' world, they are discomfited and threatened by it.  They like order and routine, structure, and situations in which people behave in a random or unpredictable (to them) way are stressful for them.  So, if there's going to perspiration or bad breath, this is made worse. 

 

So why railways and buses?  Because of the numbers and the timetables, and in the case of railways there is a distinct and specifially structured world, separate from the outside world, which is ruled and ordered by a sensory experience that is not only away from norms, the end of the platform, with it's own sounds and sights.  It is predictable; the trains run in an order, to time, and you can predict what the next one will look and sound like (mostly anyway).  A 'norm' trainspotter is delighted when an unexpected and unpredicted loco appears, but the Aspie is horrified.  To him, the appearance of the expected train at the right time is, quite literally, life affirming.  He tends to haunt platform ends where each train is identical to the last, mostly suburban or metro networks, because he is not good at coping with the variety of, say, Crewe or BNS.

 

If you spend your life isolated from society with your head stuck in a book or online reviewing facts you already know to reassure yoursefl, as a lot of these chaps do, you do not give a **** what society thinks of you.  And you are living on benefits, as there's no way anyone will employ you, so you spend your money on the hobby, and self neglect, to the detriment of your self image, already battered by the knowledge that you are excluded from the human race to an extent and in a way neither you nor the human race really understands.  This leads to depression, and a downward spiral.  One has, I think, to feel sorry for these people and the way society, i.e. us, imposes standards they do not understand  and cannot meet.  But that does not make matters any easier in a crowded show on a hot day, and I have issues about crowds myself, so avoid such situations.  Shows (remember when we used to go to those?) are increasingly difficult for me, and I usually attend Sunday morning and am done and dusted/over the pub with my spoils before the crowds turn up after lunch. 

 

For those of us in the hobby but not suffering in this way, i.e. who can maintain a reasonable standard of hygiene, dress, and appearance, I do not see that this impacts on dating.  If you turn up to your date, especially your first date, with a prospective partner looking good, fragrant, reasonably well dressed, and behave reasonably within the confines of the date situation, she/he will form an opinion of you based on that, not what you do for a hobby.  FWIW, my various GFs over the years have found out about it fairly quickly and usually on the first date; they'll ask about hobbies and you sort of have to tell them.  If a woman objects to trains in your life, trust me, she's no loss however hot she is; she's already proven herself opinionated, bigoted, and self centred.  Move on.

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I'm father to a son on The Spectrum (high-functioning, he's been through regular schools and now studying Computing at University), I'm son to a father who shows some of the traits and myself would probably have been diagnosed as ASD had such things been understood 40 years ago.

 

Johnster, that is one of the best articulated explanations of Autism and the challenges those with ASD have to address every day, that I have ever read.  I share the frustrations with people who appear rude and so socially clumsy, but I wish the lazy media types who pigeon-hole us all as such people, could be forced to read this until they could repeat it word-for-word.

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15 minutes ago, Northmoor said:

I'm father to a son on The Spectrum (high-functioning, he's been through regular schools and now studying Computing at University), I'm son to a father who shows some of the traits and myself would probably have been diagnosed as ASD had such things been understood 40 years ago.

 

Johnster, that is one of the best articulated explanations of Autism and the challenges those with ASD have to address every day, that I have ever read.  I share the frustrations with people who appear rude and so socially clumsy, but I wish the lazy media types who pigeon-hole us all as such people, could be forced to read this until they could repeat it word-for-word.


Both our children have been diagnosed with Autism, one high functioning and one with a more challenging autism. I am definitely on the spectrum and looking back at my behaviour and thoughts on this world, it explains so much. I learned behaviour that helped me to fit in. I learned to act “normal”.....
I totally agree Northmoor, Johnster that is one of the best ever articulated explanations, it is very moving. Our children have been brought up with these thoughts. No one asks to be born in a particular way, you are not consulted, you are who you are. No one asks to have this or that condition, with all the challenges that this world brings and imposes. We would want to be multi millionaires with rockstar looks and a happy carefree life. But we are who we are and we have to try to be as happy as we can and be kind and considerate to others. 
 


 

 

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4 hours ago, Chuffinell said:

Lucky here as my lady was always into the hobby. Bit of a bonus too as I was able to re-use the mechanism out of her old "Rampant Rabbit" to power my working model of a beam engine. Had to gear it down quite a bit obviously...….but on the other hand it gets through far fewer batteries than when it was in its previous usage:unsure:

beam eng4.jpg

What on earth does she use now, or should I not ask? 

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6 hours ago, Wheatley said:

13. It's my money, I'll spend it on what I like. At least I've still got most of the stuff I bought, you feel free to carry on spending yours feeding bedding plants to slugs. 

Oh dear no! That's not going to work.

 

Having always been interested in trains I was a very late starter in the dating game.

I am lucky though as I had a group of mates who were pretty broad minded about many things,

(though they would really give me and my brother grief if trains were late as we both worked for BR).

When a couple of them got into serious relationships I was introduced to the sister of one of the girls,

so I am incredibly lucky to have met Mrs Rivercider.  She knew about my interest in trains right from the start,

fortunately she enjoys train journeys (heritage or otherwise), as long as there is decent coffee, and cake.

When I have mentioned the expense of a book or wagon or two after returning from an exhibition she tells me it is a good job I don't know how much she actually spends on a visit to the hairdresser! 

 

We do also both like plants and gardens, so that is good.

 

cheers

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5 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

I wonder whether I would have better success if I changed my Tinder photo?

 

Might start using this one. All the hot babes will be queuing up. :D

 

spacer.png

You appear to have been weathered by the Bachmann factory 

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I have a friend who is a bit like me but differet. He is good with people in that he is natural and likes to get on with people. We met back in 1996 to 1998 where I used to work in charge of a bicycle department in a sports store. He is not into trains but does not mind them. He is very likely on the autism spectrum and though I mentioned it recently (I do not see him that often these days. 4 times a year to check he is ok?) he does not see it.

 

Why I mention this is that though he is very good at communicating with others in that he can speak to a complete stranger as if they have always known each other, and yet ever since I have known him it is rare that he does not smell or does not have gaping holes in his clothes etc. 

When I have mentioned it to him he says he will do something but rarely does. BUT, if a woman he fancies says something, it is done!

The last two years he must have a lady friend somewhere as he is actually not smelly and as clothing with less holes, though the last time I saw him he was not wearing pants and did not realize he was visible through the holes in his trousers! 

 

Now I tent to look a bit rough because I don't see the point of dressing up. Why? My life does not revolve around "Fitting in" with society. I only did that as part of a job and at home I would take the job mask off and be myself. When I worked on the railways I had a work college call in and he said I was a very different person at home to how I was in work. I found work exhausting as on top of doing a job I had an "Act" to play, in that while it was me, the masking was creating a confident type of extrovert, when in reality, underneath I am a semi shy introvert who keeps myself to myself and rarely gets involved in anything where I am meeting people other then a one to one situation.  The only aay I was able to work trains was because when it got too stressful I had the back cab to retire to so I could open the window and de-stress and avoid shutdowns (I never ever knew they were called shutdowns ad doctors had convinced me they were "Some sort of allergy" but though I had asked for an allergy test for 20 odd years they never were availablw on the NHS at that doctors. In recent years I changed doctors and asked and had a test, so I realized the issues Iwas having had nothing to do with allergy. Cut a long story short. I am on a list to be assessed for autism).

Now I too only wash and bath when I start to get smelly because we are on a budget where the cost of heating water means that we have to be careful. Also recently my brother and his wife have been living here so I have had no access to the shower for a few months and I could only shower when they were out, which was rare. So once every two weeks...(I can shower now so I will be showering soon!) But anyway... Now today they are going back to live in the town my Mum and I can now have a shower again and I really need it! But that is an exceptional circumstance brought on by the lockdown where due to the lockdown we have all been cramped up at home and my brothers workmates have also had to come back and fore here as part of their work which for me has been stressing as I have had hardly any time to relax without shutting myself off in my bedroom. 

 

But anyway... Luckily my nephew convinced me to get a Nintendo Switch and I only have one downloaded racing car game and I have played the socks off it during this lockdown! Haha!

 

But what I said about hygene... About 5  years ago I went to the once yearly model railway exhibition near Aberaeron and is the last time I was able to attend there. While I was relitively clean, due to the stress of being around so many people I came out in an unconteollable sweat. I mean I went suddenly hot and sweaty. I liked the day but I find myself increasingly unable to cope with crowds. 

About three years ago I attended a big exhibition in Swansea and I went on a sunday afternoonas the crouds usually subside towards the last few hours of the last day. My brother and his wife went for a walk outside. I had a brief look around the exhibition and spoke to one or two people exhibiting so I could divert my attention away from the crowds as I really wasn't coping... But I wanted to see the layouts! So as I was told one can go out and back in as they had stamped my hand, I went out, called my brother and his wife and told them to come and look. They did not want to but they were happy there, so I had a walk with them to de-stress so I could go back in. Went to go back in and it was quieting down but the guy at the gate wouldn't let me. He said they were closed. This was an hour before the official closing time.

I was soo dissapointed that day as I wanted to buy something from one of the guys with a trade stand, but ok. I have memories of the layouts even if I did not quite see them all. 

The wierd thing is that though I would be very nurvous, I can do it if I was exhibiting. Ok, it would take a lot out of me and take me a couple of weeks to recover from the stress, but I can do it because I can mask. But as a customer I can't do it. I can't cope with the crowds as I can't mask. It is wierd!

I used to be able to mask more readily then I once did. I am a wierd contrasting mix! 

 

It is odd because I can potetially be on a stage and yet soon after I would want to dissapear and not meet anyone! It is the attention I would have AFTER that would stress me! 

If I have been invited to a gathering like a party I would always want to leave early unless it is a quiet party. (I used to dread my own birthdays incase lots of people turned up to make a fuss of me. 

 

But I think that is the problem. For me when I was in school I HATED rainy days because we would have to go in the school hall and the sound of all those shouting or talking kids... I would be in tears with my hands over my ears. Many a lunchtime I was soked through outside trying to avoid teachers seeing me to avoid the hall! And what I hate is the sound of hundreds of people talking at the same time! That I can't cope with. If an event happens, I am ok because everyone is quiet listening towat is being said on the stage, but it is before and after the event I don't like when everyone starts talking!

 

I now absolutely LOVE rainy days and the rain as it means I get castles and whole beaches to myself! No crowds! :DWhat a contrast! 

 

Anyway. Off topic... Best I let youall speak! Haha!

 

 

 

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On 07/01/2013 at 22:02, OnTheBranchline said:

When you are dating or dated women (or men conceivably), how do you talk about your model railway interest? Is it straight away or do you ease into it? When do you, how did they take it? I understand that the married ones's significant others here accepted their husband's interest without any complaint.

 

Any amusing stories are welcome.

Straight away usually. Trains are part of my life! 

 

This does not mean she has to like trains... 

 

Uhmm. I am single. HAHAHAHAHA!

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2 hours ago, Northmoor said:

I'm father to a son on The Spectrum (high-functioning, he's been through regular schools and now studying Computing at University), I'm son to a father who shows some of the traits and myself would probably have been diagnosed as ASD had such things been understood 40 years ago.

 

Johnster, that is one of the best articulated explanations of Autism and the challenges those with ASD have to address every day, that I have ever read.  I share the frustrations with people who appear rude and so socially clumsy, but I wish the lazy media types who pigeon-hole us all as such people, could be forced to read this until they could repeat it word-for-word.

 

1 hour ago, Grizz said:


Both our children have been diagnosed with Autism, one high functioning and one with a more challenging autism. I am definitely on the spectrum and looking back at my behaviour and thoughts on this world, it explains so much. I learned behaviour that helped me to fit in. I learned to act “normal”.....
I totally agree Northmoor, Johnster that is one of the best ever articulated explanations, it is very moving. Our children have been brought up with these thoughts. No one asks to be born in a particular way, you are not consulted, you are who you are. No one asks to have this or that condition, with all the challenges that this world brings and imposes. We would want to be multi millionaires with rockstar looks and a happy carefree life. But we are who we are and we have to try to be as happy as we can and be kind and considerate to others. 
 


 

 

Thank you very much gentlemen; I've obviously struck a chord.  But my Aspie ex, Emma, is the one you should really be crediting as I simply wrote a precis of things she talked to me about.  Emma is a fizzing ball of frustration and rage at times, and has unfortunate life experience that explains that, which means most people don't give her the time or space to express herself and simply write her off as odd and a bit of a psycho,  Aspie or not is one of the most honest, generous, reasonable, and funny people I have ever known.  She uses cannabis to enable her to cope with her difficulty, which works but has sadly made her very difficult to cope with as a GF, so we both agreed to call it quits.   She is extremely intelligent and capable of expressing herself, both in the spoken and written word, but needs a bit of patience to allow her the space to do this in a conversation.

 

Through her, and my own difficulties with agora and social phobia, I have a circle of spectrum friends and wonder where I am on it myself sometimes, so am perhaps a little more aware than an average norm of the issues.  Their lives would be a lot less fraught if there could be a degree more understanding and tolerance from others, and the situation is much better than it was 20 or even 10 years ago but there's a long way to go yet.

 

Autistic and Aspie people have qualities that can be of great value to employers if only some were a bit more enlightened; an autistic quality controller would be superb at his/her job for example, and any situation where focus is needed is grist to their mill.

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1 hour ago, Mountain Goat said:

Anyway. Off topic...

 

A brilliant post and not Off Topic at all as far as I am concerned.  I completely understand the description of "Acting" at work; leaving the defence industry after 16 years including 9 years in management consultancy, it was an enormous relief to be made redundant.  Being a consultant is just about the least suitable job for someone of my personality type.

 

37 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

Autistic and Aspie people have qualities that can be of great value to employers if only some were a bit more enlightened; an autistic quality controller would be superb at his/her job for example, and any situation where focus is needed is grist to their mill.

There are (but not enough) positive examples of this; some software companies specifically employ some people with ASD for their ability to spot errors in code that would be invisible to most of us.  Sadly most people in recruitment, recruit in their own image - which is where a lot of sexual and racial discrimination comes in - so potentially brilliant people who would probably be very loyal to a good employer, struggle to find worthwhile work.

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I think a lot of us have a public persona and a slightly different private one.

 

I used to work with a very well known frontman of a very well known band and once asked him “ how do you get up  In front of a 50000 strong crowd and just go for it ?”.

 

He said “ to be honest I’m more scared going into a room where I don’t know anybody “.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Mountain Goat said:

Straight away usually. Trains are part of my life! 

 

This does not mean she has to like trains... 

 

Uhmm. I am single. HAHAHAHAHA!

 

Quoting myself.  Bear in mind that I have only dated a few womwn in my life. The first time I was in my mid 30's. Prior to that prosopragnosia issues ruined my first date at the age of 16. How did I know I was standing next to her? 45 minutes later I gave up as I thought she had not turned up. I was so upset that when a lady wanted me in my mid 30's it took some convincing and she did the asking!  

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1 hour ago, The Johnster said:

 

Autistic and Aspie people have qualities that can be of great value to employers if only some were a bit more enlightened; an autistic quality controller would be superb at his/her job for example, and any situation where focus is needed is grist to their mill.


Totally.

 

I am in railway safety management and have been for years. 
 

Jobs that I have held have all been in safety critical areas. This works well for me and the employers because there are rules. Jobs I have held include front line roles in Operations, over the years these have included, Compliance Inspector Permanent Way (HMRI Compliance Recovery), Permanent Way Assurance Engineer and Rail Defect Manager. I have enjoyed life at the sharp end of the railway operations but only working either by myself or with one or two others. Day to day running to derailment investigation. All with rules, strict codes and practices. Railways run on fixed straight lines, routes and no deviations. Easy street. 
 

But get me in a room with a load of people I don’t know......Autism Central.

 

Mrs Grizz can see it in me now as we have watched our kids growing up. I think I learned to act normal quite well. 

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I too have high level autism. I only realised that I was autistic within the last ten years. I discovered it when a woman I know apologised for her young son leaving a few things he was playing with in an untidy state, just as I do. Apparently there are a lot of people around who are on the spectrum but are undiagnosed and are not aware that they are. There is one case where a woman's son had been diagnosed as autistic and she realised that she had the same condition. I've managed to get through 72 years of my life with it including being employed from when I left school until I retired. Its helped explain a few things and other events have fallen into place when I realised I had the condition.   

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Important to stress that Autism is a spectrum, which means we are all on it but some 'further along' it than others.  This should be noted by anyone who feels that those further along than the position they consider themselves to occupy on this spectrum are in some way inferior in intellect or ability; they're not, they're the same as you and on the same spectrum as you (and everyone else), but need to be interacted with in a different way. 

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There is something I need to clarify here because there are many missconceptions which come out of certain statements like "We are all on the spectrum" which is not exactly true in that the classification of having autism is being within the autism spectrum dissorder classification. 

The more accurate statement is to say "We all have autistic traits of one kind or another".  What the autism assessment does is to look for evidence of those traits and see how many traits they can find and how much those traits effect ones day to day living in a negative way. (This is how I understand it. Many more knowledgable people can go into more detail). 

I should mention there is a halfway boarderline stage of being neither off or on the spectrum known as BAP, which I believe stands for "Broad Autistic Phenominum" or something like that. It is someone who can be struggling in certain areas but does not have enough autistic traits to qualify as being on the spectrum.

 

Now in order for you to understand a bit more about autism and what it actually is (Which includes asperges syndrome and the other descriptions within the autism spectrum dissorder), as there are quite a lot of frustrating missunderstandings (Usually unintentional) caused by those who do not understand the issue, is to explain first what autism actually is.

Autism is a condition where the brain has electrical connections which do not make it. It is in nearly all cases a condition that has been there since birth unless in the rare event that the brain has been involved in a severe accident like a motor crash etc. But a good 99% of cases it has been a condition since birth, hence why it is known as a developmental dissorder. 

Now consider you have a computer and I know nothing about its internal workings, but I sever a random connection. Now no one knows at first what this will do. It could function fine until it goes to do a specific task and then it just shuts off. 

Now there is another aspect specific to the autistic brain that is caused during the brains development while in the womb and while the brain is growing, and this is that due to the missing brain connections, the brain growth then compensates by overdeveloping other areas of the brain instead and this tends to come out in one or two ways or both. 

The first is that the person can have a narrow area where the person can be a genius. 

The other is that the person can be hypersensitive in one area or the other.

 Now think that a highly intelligent person in one area can display all the characteristics of a highly intelligent person, but then in a different area (Due to the missing brain connections) may not be able to function at all.

I will give you an example of hypersensitivity from my own life. My hearing.  I was walking around a local country park that is near the beach, and a man had his dog loose and was walking at 45 degrees across my path. He was calling his dog who was not responding. Now when his path came right near me he decided to blow his dog whistle hard right near my left ear. My ear drum nearly exploded such was the noise! I can hear dog whistles and I used to be able to hear bats (The last year or two my hearing has deteriated slightly so I now struggle to hear them). Now all I could do was hold my hands over my ears and run forward, and the man assumed it wss all an act and got annoyed with me saying that they are dog whistles and no humans can hear them. He would not have it that I could hear the things! (If he could hear it he would never have blown it with such force as it was LOUD! ).

 

Now that is one example. Hyper sensitivities can be with smell light and even touch. 

 

At the other end of things, the missing brain con ections can cause issues. I have rarely ever been able to speak in a short direct way. If I try I risk getting mind blank where my mind just stops. It is like hitting a wall. So whenever I talk, I will keep a "grain" of an idea where I want to end up and I will almost talk round the world and back in continual tangents to get there. By doing this I avoid mindblank. This is known as a "Coping mechanism" and in my case it has been self taught from an early age. 

Another self taught aspect is masking. I will put o an act to appear normal. For the first few years of my schooling life at all playtimes and even in lessons I was dead quiet and in playtimes I would go to a far corner out of the way and just stand there watching everyone studying "How" they played and "How" they reacted and talked etc. It was not that I did not play at home or I did not talk etc. It was that the new enviroment was a whole different ballgame and the stress of school meant I was at quite a dissadvantage unless the class was quiet and I was stimming. Not the rocking back and fore stimming. I didn't do that. But I would be clicking a pen or rapping my fingers or bouncing a leg up and down, which was done to enable me to focus. But ever so often I was noticed and told off. I remember spending a few weeks hardly concentrating on any school work and being petrified incase my body started to stim so I would be constantly monetering my every movement to ensure that my body acted and appeared "Normal". My schoolwork suffered under those stricter teachers. I also could rarely talk and look someone in the eye at the same time which also got me into trouble on ocxasions as there is a belief that people who lie can't look someone in the eye which for some people is completely untrue. 

 

Anyway. Sorry. I am going off on tangents. I have I think explained a few things. I wanted to try to explain that autism is often a very hidden condition except for the ones who can't mask the condition and for the autistic who masks, it is like doing two full time jobs at the same time. It is exhausting so when home tie comes along all they want to do is relax! It is why many on the spectrum are classed as introverts. Another reason is that they seem to (In the eyes of those who are not on the spectrum) be doing wrong so they tend to shut themselves off from society as they lack the confidence to be part of society. (There are a few loud extrovert autistics out there. It is a spectrum after all!

 

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I certainly sympathise with the hearing, although I've never been able to hear as high as you , I'm extremely sensitive to the level of sound. I could never go into a disco as I found the music sound level painful to the ears.

Even today I take earplugs with me if I go to a dinner where music will be played. As it is once the chat starts and lots of people start talking everywhere I get overload, and withdraw from conversations.

 

It's a bit of a problem at exhibitions, especially if I'm standing next to a fully sound fitted layout and I tend to head for a corner out of the way during the most crowded times. As I hate crowds anyway, its often time for a long tea or lunch break.

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19 hours ago, Grizz said:

Dating, Women and ‘the Hobby’..

 

Let’s face it in the past ‘the hobby’ has suffered from what is now referred to as ‘Image Issues’. And not without justification.
This has not helped in the dating stakes for some. Although as some have previously said it is slightly more acceptable today.
 

After passing an initial, very discreet, comment to me regarding this episode nothing else was said, but Mrs Grizz and I later talked at some length about the show and the characterful nature of some of the attendees. She asked why you don’t see these people on a daily basis in the street. To be clear she wasn’t being derogatory or unkind in her comments, possibly a bit shocked. Couldn’t really answer her question. . What is it about ‘the hobby’ that attracts people of a certain appearance and, for want of a better word, Smell?????? They seem to be drawn to model railways, railways, steam and diesel galas in general and possibly buses? 
 

Anyone else noticed this? Is it something that is peculiar to the UK? I have travelled extensively on railways in Northern Europe and hung around railway stations taking photos etc and been to numerous model railway events and museums etc and yet I have never seen the equivalent obsessive, often disheveled type of character? 
 

 

 

Firstly on the "image" problem, many years ago (probably the 80s) I took my Dad to a Model Railway Exhibition at the Wembley Conference Centre.  I had an interest in modelling, more plastic kits at the time, but Dad was a keen railway modeller.  At the same time there was a country music festival at the Empire Pool (I think it's called the Wembley Arena nowadays), so there were country music fans dressed as cowboys, complete with (I assume) replica six-shooters and covered in rhinestones, walking by and taking the piss out of those playing with "toy trains".  The irony was not lost on me.

 

On the second point about less hygienic characters at shows, I still make scale models and these folk are a regular subject of discussion on the modelling forums.  They do not just frequent model railway shows.  I cannot explain their behaviour, though one hopes they are at least washing their hands at the moment.

 

As to seeing these unfortunates "in the street", I have encountered several, both male and female, over the years at work, so I think you can assume they are about in the community. 

 

jch

 

 

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