sjgardiner Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Long before we were married or even living together MrsJ found my collection of 'Railway Modeller's' under the bed. I think she was expecting to find a different type of magazine! She still refers to it as my train porn! Funny, when i shared an apartment with two guys before all of us met our respective girlfiend's/wives a few years back, that's how they used to refer to my various railway and modelling magazines when they arrived in our mail. After being married for 30 plus years I can't remember how my other half was introduced to the world of model railways! It doesn't take 30 years to forget, I've been dating my girlfriend for three years and i think i might have mentioned i was volunteering at the railway museum when we were setting up our first date, but i couldn't pinpoint exactly when it became abundantly clear that i am an unrepairable railfan. That said, in the three years since we met, she's volunteered at the Toronto Railway Museum with me on several occasions (she's really good with people and kids, something often lacking on busy days), and helped me with the museum's booth at hobby shows. She also tolerated my three days at the SVR Gala in 2011 on our UK vacation as she only spent one day for her first trips behind a steam locomotive and then happily visited the NRM to catch up with their staff who had visited us in Toronto with The Railway Children. I have to say, I'm very lucky as she accepted the use of our 2nd bedroom in our apartment when we moved in together as a combination guest bedroom/workroom for the trains -Stephen Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 She still refers to it as my train porn! At work that's how my books have been referred to! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelintrev Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Well more years ago than I care to think about, wife #1 knew about my "hobby" ... at that time I had a 12" - foot Narrow gauge loco kit....but that "had to be sold" ....".you can have some toy trains instead..."...(I should have realised but young men can be led by their.....s.! ) But I've just had a email from GF asking how much space I will need for my modelling..! (She even bought me some 1:24 scale kits for Xmas....!) So is this a good sign?? Trouble is the a huge ocean between us! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Well more years ago than I care to think about, wife #1 knew about my "hobby" ... at that time I had a 12" - foot Narrow gauge loco kit....but that "had to be sold" ....".you can have some toy trains instead..."...(I should have realised but young men can be led by their.....s.! )This picture has done the rounds a lot over the years, but you post reminded me of it! A guy I played cricket with summed things up rather well when talking to Suzi and I - he's on his second wife! He said "women marry someone, spend ages changing them only to decide they're not the man they married so then leave!" Now I think there's some truth in there... If you look at the posts in this thread the key seems to be finding someone who appreciates and encourages a hobby but not taking advantage of that generousity. Really, it's key to a good relationship I think 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium MJI Posted January 9, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 9, 2013 My hobbies keep me around the house, so I get under her feet. But if she can have hundreds of pocket dragons I can have all of my hobbies. Daughters and clothes shops is worse, no model shop so have to resort to electronics shops or games shops. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Delamar Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 This picture has done the rounds a lot over the years, but you post reminded me of it! reminds me of an episode of Top Gear where they featured a man who built a kit car in his house and then couldnt get it through the door. Clarkson discussing it with Hammond asks, is there a wife in this relationship? Hammond said there was but she did fit through the door. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
John C Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Never came up before I was married as I had left the hobby when I discovered wine, women and song in my mid teens. Got back into it after I left the services in early eighties. She has absolutly no interest in it what so ever but does let me give me a hard time if I get back from an exhibition without buying any stock. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
more-kits Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 This has just made my evening, and caused me to lose a coupling spring to the carpet gods! I bet Fiona has a superb vintage monocle you could borrow! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
more-kits Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Softly softyly, catchee monkey! I'd say the type of ladies you describe are the better sort to accept someone with interests as they tend to be less shallow and satisfied with mainstream pap culture. I may even be in the market for a similar lady myself in a few years when I get out of this line of work and regain some semblance of a social life after two decades! Dave. Well said. Absolutely agree. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Kazmierczak Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Daughters and clothes shops is worse..... Don't I know it..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 40-something Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 My wife know about my hobby before we started dating as we worked together at the time. I make no secret of it, if anyone ribs me for playing with trains I rib them back for p*ssing their money up against a wall every weekend! At least I have something to show for it! Rachael is very tolerant and is the one who encouraged me to join a club. She's not interested in the hobby one bit but does show interest when Im working on something. She'd never go to an exhibition though (but thats a good thing!!!) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted January 9, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 9, 2013 A couple of years ago I was in "The railway Room" when one of my wifes friends called round, they stood in the living room talking to me through a pair of french doors that access the room and after a few mins her friend turned to her and said. "How do you put up with this" and gestured to the layout. My wife replied "It's his and it helps him relax and unwind" Her friend said " well I wouldn't let him have it, no way" So I then asked "How often does Richard go fishing ?" "Too bloody often" came the reply.........I don't think she sees the link... 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I can remember seeing a sign on a layout at a show some years ago "Man seeks woman who is interested in model railways. Please send photograph of model railway....." As for me, well the only person I'm even vaguely interested in at the moment does know I'm into railways, because the toddler group she used to help out at accidentally got double-booked into the same room as my exhibition last year! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted January 10, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 10, 2013 Is there a conversion factor for how many minutes in a woman clothes shop equals a minute at a model railway show? XF "Yes I can run three 47s at the same time, can you wear three pairs of shoes?" A 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob D2 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 well I got ribbed last night for reading RM. Just because she was extolling the virtues of the latest , " take a dump" magazine for ladies with an IQ of 50, which I pointed out. I would have rolled the mag into weapons shape but didn't want to crease it... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted January 10, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 10, 2013 Daughters and clothes shops is worse, no model shop so have to resort to electronics shops or games shops. Don't I know it..... No, no, no - my daughter has a limited interest in clothes shops but she does like model railways so whenever possible (i.e. relatively cheap) she accompanies me to exhibitions. This is a dual edged sword as she is forever reminding me that while 0 gauge is very attractive 'no I shouldn't' or - more helpfully - that some things are easier/more difficult (delete as appropriate) past the domestic authorities. So there you are - daughters can be excellent allies 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Fobe2 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I have no problems as I have got my other half exactly where she wants me! XF 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Harrap Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 No, no, no - my daughter has a limited interest in clothes shops but she does like model railways so whenever possible (i.e. relatively cheap) she accompanies me to exhibitions. This is a dual edged sword as she is forever reminding me that while 0 gauge is very attractive 'no I shouldn't' or - more helpfully - that some things are easier/more difficult (delete as appropriate) past the domestic authorities. So there you are - daughters can be excellent allies Beware this doesn't backfire on you when you least expect it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjgardiner Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 From the supportive category, Jason Shron of Rapido Trains here in Canada has built a replica VIA Rail coach segment in his basement, and his wife qualifies as super supportive. Video from CBC's The National with her quotes on the issue just after the 2 minute mark: http://www.cbc.ca/player/News/ID/2324301953/ And an article Sidura wrote on her lack of a basement a few years ago: http://kingstonsub.com/coach5647.html There is a thread on this in the USA/Canadian Section to discuss the specific video, but i thought this relevant to this discussion. -Stephen 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belsay Lad Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 My wife know about my hobby before we started dating as we worked together at the time. I make no secret of it, if anyone ribs me for playing with trains I rib them back for p*ssing their money up against a wall every weekend! At least I have something to show for it! Rachael is very tolerant and is the one who encouraged me to join a club. She's not interested in the hobby one bit but does show interest when Im working on something. She'd never go to an exhibition though (but thats a good thing!!!) Me too with my partner, we actually got talking because of model railways (although not directly! OK a tin of cat food can started it, long story not relevant here, but we both were 'owned by cats.'..) some 17 years ago. I was aware that my job at that time was going down the pan and as a result of railway modelling had developed an interest in making model buildings. Pat worked for a national visitor attraction service with many historic buildings under their care and used to come in twice a week to the office where I worked. So I was planning a plan B to get some money and wondered if I could make models of some of the buildings to be sold in the property shops. Turned out the answer was no, but I had showed her photos of some of my models (buildings, before we get into any durky regions ) and as she was interested in architeture and was organising a tour to a building a few weekends after she invited me along. The rest is history as they say. We both have common hobbies, Pat comes to a few model railway shows with me each year, I go Scottish Country Dancing with her. We also have our own hobbies and interests. As many others have said on here, a marriage/partnership is built on the strengths/interests of the individuals and the tolerance of the hobbies/interests of each. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norm81 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Interesting question. I also wonder what the exhibition equivalent of the man park outside the changing room might be? That'll be what I usually refer to as the "bored bloke zone", I will keep trying to persuade M&S to get a tv with sky sports put there... Can't remember how or when I told SWMBO but I'd made sure she was well on the hook beforehand that's for sure. Been to a few shows last year but think she's getting a bit bored of them now, prefers me modelling to being away fishing as at least I'm in the same house and can still talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Fobe2 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) I will be bringing my "pass out" from Mrs Fobe with me to the CMRA on Saturday ! XF Edited January 10, 2013 by Xerces Fobe2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium TheQ Posted January 11, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 11, 2013 That'll be what I usually refer to as the "bored bloke zone", I will keep trying to persuade M&S to get a tv with sky sports put there... Can't remember how or when I told SWMBO but I'd made sure she was well on the hook beforehand that's for sure. Been to a few shows last year but think she's getting a bit bored of them now, prefers me modelling to being away fishing as at least I'm in the same house and can still talk to me. I like to persude the wife to shop in Lakeland they have chairs and newspapers to read just inside the shop in Norwich! The Q Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I like to suggest she goes shopping with friends or her mum! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob hughes60 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Is the title right? Shouldn't the order be "The hobby, women, and dating.." Need to get your priorities right. I cunningly waited till lads were old enough, then bought Thomas which I retrofitted with an old triang smoke unit. My wife then swiped Thomas to facilitate teaching the maths of loads and inclines in her classes, now there's gratitude for you. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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