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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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BMW:

 

Illegal number plate - check.

Parked on double yellows - check.

Stupidly large alloys - check.

Total idiot owner - I think so.

Good call.!! :yes:

 

Nothing wrong with Beemers as a car (except in snow & ice) but everything wrong with the attitude of a great many of their owners. :sarcastichand:

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I think we should leave this particular subject (BMW drivers)  and move on. It has caused much pain, suffering and locked threads in the past.

 

steve

Agreed, the indications are not good.

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Two blokes living in the Outback see a couple of jobs advertised by the Queen. She is looking for footmen to walk beside her carriage.

They apply and are very happy to be flown to London for an interview with Her Majesty.

She says to them, “Because my footmen must wear long white stockings, I must see your ankles to make sure they are not swollen or misshapen.”

After they show her their ankles, the Queen says, “It is also important that you don’t have knobbly knees, so I need to see them too.”

Once she has seen their knees, she says, “Now everything appears to be in shape, so now I need to see your testimonials.”

           

Nine years later, when the pair is finally released from prison, one of the blokes says to the other,

“I reckon if we’d just had a bit more education, we would have got those jobs!”

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This ones a bit late, but never mind.

 

I cooked a Brexit Xmas dinner.

All the usual trimmings, 

but no Brussels!

Every time I read Brussels, I think of 'Vicar of Dibley' and the Brussels eating contest!

 

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