Allegheny1600 Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 (finally!) What do you call Edward Woodward talking excitedly, describing things in great detail and waving his arms around, wildly? The graphic equaliser! (groan!) 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted August 30, 2019 Share Posted August 30, 2019 What do call a Judge with no thumbs? Justice Fingers I went to buy some pet bees today, I asked the man for 12 bee's but he gave me 13, I told him he had made a mistake but he said its OK, that's a freebie My mate has a stutter, he was telling me a story about his Nana, by the end we were all singing Hey Jude 1 12 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted August 30, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 30, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: My mate has a stutter, he was telling me a story about his Nana, by the end we were all singing Hey Jude Considering the fuss around the broccoli/florets joke that the Tourette's society made, you'll probably have some comments from people with speech impediments now. Personally I thought it was funny Edited August 30, 2019 by Ramblin Rich spelling 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted August 30, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 30, 2019 4 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: Considering the fuss around the broccoli/florets joke that the Tourette's society made, you'll probably have some comments from people with speech impediments now. Personally I thought it was funny I do not know about comments from people with speech impediments but here is a comment from one without: "I had broccoli for lunch today!" 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted August 31, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 31, 2019 I went to the pet shop and asked to buy some dead wasps, the assistant said we don't sell them, I told her there were plenty in the front window. Mike. 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted September 1, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted September 1, 2019 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 1, 2019 Tricked this monkey... 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sprintex Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 The "giveaway" was that the picture is of an ape, not a monkey Paul 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium zarniwhoop Posted September 1, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 1, 2019 8 hours ago, Sprintex said: The "giveaway" was that the picture is of an ape, not a monkey ook! 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted September 2, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2019 Ook. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Ook, Ook . . . . . OOOOOK! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 2 hours ago, Two_sugars said: Ook, Ook . . . . . OOOOOK! Emk, Emk........EMEMEMK? Monkey with a bit more finess 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted September 2, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 2, 2019 2 hours ago, Two_sugars said: Ook, Ook . . . . . OOOOOK! Steady now, don't go 'librarian poo' ... 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 3, 2019 Share Posted September 3, 2019 I quite like whiteboards, in fact I find them re-markable. My grandad warned people that the Titanic would sink. No-one listened to him, but he kept on telling them until everyone got so fed-up and kicked him out of the cinema! 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted September 3, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 3, 2019 My wife keeps on about going to Thailand so in the end I told her to f**kit! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium 5944 Posted September 3, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 3, 2019 Pretty sure the last one isn't the correct answer... 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post chris p bacon Posted September 3, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted September 3, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, 5944 said: Pretty sure the last one isn't the correct answer... I beg to differ... Edited September 3, 2019 by chris p bacon 4 4 14 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted September 3, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 3, 2019 Mmmm, bacon :drool: 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post manna Posted September 3, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 3, 2019 G'day Folks 2 1 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Rod Hull's last words? "Emu, grab that bl@@dy gutter!" I once had an affair with a blind girl and she told me that I had the biggest 'manhood' she had ever layed her hands on. I think she was pulling my leg! 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhBBob Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 (edited) Updated jokes....Lincolnshire style Old style Two lads chatting First lad: Mum found a contraceptive on the patio last night Second lad: What's a patio ? Updated First lad: A Police Officer arrested a prostitute last night Second lad: What's a Police Officer? Or I saw my Mate today and apparently he was with his new girlfriend last night and getting on well. He pushed his hand further up her leg but she cried out 'you can cut that out!' Then he put his hand in his pocket to pull something out and said 'Have you ever seen one of these ?' Edited September 5, 2019 by RhBBob Additional joke Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 4 5 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 SWMBO told me women are better at multi-tasking than men, so I told her to sit down and shut up... But she couldn't do either! 4 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted September 6, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 6, 2019 On 03/09/2019 at 10:56, 5944 said: Pretty sure the last one isn't the correct answer... Three of those four need to address the proper method of using a razor. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamiel Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 One from Rick Wakeman on the wonderful ‘Grumpy Old Men’. ‘Spoilers on cars, they spoil them.’ 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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