RJS1977 Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) On 12/01/2020 at 14:13, NorthBrit said: See what she does when I switch on the electric. I'd imagine something like this.... Edited January 16, 2020 by RJS1977 Corrected link 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HitchinLoco Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Re Hearst , Doing part time work between Funerals, making full use of the vehicle!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Grandad to compost. 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 16, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 16, 2020 I don't think I have ever seen a hearse it a tow bar before. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 96701 Posted January 16, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 16, 2020 On 13/01/2020 at 20:57, F-UnitMad said: Nah - nowhere near enough clag for an Alco...!!! I wonder if whoever was filming the second clip (about 1 min 20sec) was absolutely certain that no train would run on the line on which they were standing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Saw this just now - thought the second half might cause some amusement: https://www.captiongenerator.com/25206/Hitler-is-not-happy-with-Model-Railway-Journal-234?fbclid=IwAR3RjmSlpjMpF8tgK7N8WqljlJnD7S5p1_ImGjW7teGYwxIJucsj6KDAHOA 3 1 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangoman69 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 A self-important sex therapist boasted that he could tell how often people had sex,simply by looking at the smile on their face.To test his theory,he filled the room with people of different ages,and went down the line asking each one to smile.His deductions proved correct in every case,until he arrived at the last person in the line,a 65 year old man,who was grinning from ear to ear......"Twice a day," guessed the therapist......."No",said the man........."Once a day?"......."No"......."Once a week?"......."No".........."Once a month?"........."No".........."Once every six months?".........."No".........."Once a year?"........."Yes".Well what the hell have you got to look so happy about."?,snapped the therapist,angry that his theory wasn't working..........The old man beamed........."Tonight's the night!!!! 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangoman69 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big guy that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!" At this the Guy said "Well, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda thought that we were friends." 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tangoman69 Posted January 17, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2020 There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting: He said. “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair. What I want you to do." The man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong." So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline... 2 16 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 17, 2020 8 hours ago, RJS1977 said: Saw this just now - thought the second half might cause some amusement: https://www.captiongenerator.com/25206/Hitler-is-not-happy-with-Model-Railway-Journal-234?fbclid=IwAR3RjmSlpjMpF8tgK7N8WqljlJnD7S5p1_ImGjW7teGYwxIJucsj6KDAHOA Closely observed. Now I'm wondering who... 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 9 hours ago, RJS1977 said: Saw this just now - thought the second half might cause some amusement: https://www.captiongenerator.com/25206/Hitler-is-not-happy-with-Model-Railway-Journal-234?fbclid=IwAR3RjmSlpjMpF8tgK7N8WqljlJnD7S5p1_ImGjW7teGYwxIJucsj6KDAHOA Can't quite see the reason for filming everyday P4 behaviour. Whatever next on social media? Just wait for the rivet video... Julian 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted January 17, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted January 17, 2020 11 hours ago, RJS1977 said: Saw this just now - thought the second half might cause some amusement: https://www.captiongenerator.com/25206/Hitler-is-not-happy-with-Model-Railway-Journal-234?fbclid=IwAR3RjmSlpjMpF8tgK7N8WqljlJnD7S5p1_ImGjW7teGYwxIJucsj6KDAHOA There is an RMweb member called Adolf2. I wonder........ 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 London Underground introduces First Class carriages The new first-class carriages being prepared for Central Line trains (Photo: Simon Pielow, published under CC BY-SA 2.0) https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/london-underground-introduces-first-class-carriages/ Quote By Casey Jones, Railways Correspondent London Underground is introducing luxurious first-class carriages so well-heeled commuters do not need to mix with common riff-raff. While normal Londoners must squash into packed sweaty and smelly carriages, toffs can enjoy their trip through the capital in an ornate carriage with leather chairs and a fully-stocked bar. A man in a crisp white jacket will recharge glasses and serve fine sandwiches and canapes to passengers. The news was revealed exclusively to the Suffolk Gazette after an alert reader spotted a sign at Holborn this evening. While anyone with money will enjoy the new posh commuting experience, to be introduced first on the Central Line, not everyone is happy, describing it as elitist and Victorian in nature. City worker Lorraine Fisher, 34, was furious: “Traveling on the Tube when it’s busy is difficult enough, but knowing these snobs in the next carriage are lounging around quaffing champagne is too much. “One first-class carriage will take around 20 people at most, meaning less space for the rest of us squished together 150 at a time. “I really think London Underground should do a u-turn.” But bosses are not likely to back down. They had intended a grand announcement next week, with the first luxury carriage officially opened by Jacob Rees-Mogg. But the sign spotted by our reader today was put up early in error, letting the cat out of the bag. The sign put up early in Holborn Station today, revealing the news (Photo: Suffolk Gazette reader Phil McCracken) A London Underground insider said: “The bosses are furious this has got out early, but fair play to the Suffolk Gazette for getting the scoop. The service will start on Central Line trains and then move to the Circle Line, where passengers will be able to go round and round until they’ve finished at the bar.” First-class carriages were removed from the London Underground network in 1940 after the outbreak of World War Two. But now things have calmed down a bit, they are to make a sensational return. It’s not the first time this newspaper has broken a top tube-related story. A few years ago, we were the first to reveal a new Anglian Line would run underground from Suffolk to London. However, some people now believe this story was simply the work of a creative Ipswich copywriter. Their previous story about the new TFL tube line to Ipswich: https://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/new-tube-line-ipswich/ 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted January 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 17, 2020 Is this a comment on journey times? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Joseph_Pestell Posted January 17, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: London Underground introduces First Class carriages The new first-class carriages being prepared for Central Line trains (Photo: Simon Pielow, published under CC BY-SA 2.0) https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/london-underground-introduces-first-class-carriages/ Their previous story about the new TFL tube line to Ipswich: https://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/new-tube-line-ipswich/ That must be the Circle Line vehicle. Out-of-gauge for the Central Line. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clagsniffer Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 From my 5 year old nephew; why do ducks have feathers? to cover their butt quacks! sorry........... 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 46 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: First-class carriages were removed from the London Underground network in 1940 after the outbreak of World War Two. But now things have calmed down a bit... That is classic!!!! 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tangoman69 Posted January 17, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2020 I've just got a job making plastic Draculas, There are only two of us on the production line. So I have to make every second Count.... 3 17 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted January 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 17, 2020 6 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: London Underground introduces First Class carriages The new first-class carriages being prepared for Central Line trains (Photo: Simon Pielow, published under CC BY-SA 2.0) https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/london-underground-introduces-first-class-carriages/ Their previous story about the new TFL tube line to Ipswich: https://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/new-tube-line-ipswich/ 5 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: That is classic!!!! Up until WW2 the Metropolitan operated Pullman cars. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Up until WW2 the Metropolitan operated Pullman cars. My comment was refering to the length of time it has apparently taken for things to 'calm down a bit' since 1945 - which I emphasised by highlighting that bit of the quote in bold - nothing to do with Pullman cars. Edited January 17, 2020 by F-UnitMad 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 18, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 18, 2020 Probably posted for the umpteenth time, but still funny! A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’ Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’ ‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’ ‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’ ‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun. ‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?’ 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted January 19, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 19, 2020 https://www.facebook.com/casualchristiancomedy2/photos/a.350697795440169/815557828954161/?type=3&theater 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
billbedford Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Are they going to live in France? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, billbedford said: Are they going to live in France? There is precedent. See Prince Edward, Duke of Windsor (another Royal Joke/Tragedy). 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
didcot Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 From my 12 year old son Two packets of crisps are strolling down the road. A taxi pulls up and the driver shouts out "do you want a lift". "No" say the crisps, "We're Walkers". 2 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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