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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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The Story of the Haircut

 

With barber shops and hair salons closed in most states this story is

very timely.  We all need to pitch in and help one another during

times of stress, difficulty or danger. Enjoy this story. There are

lessons to be learned from it.

 

The Story of the Haircut

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

 

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he

asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money

from you, I'm doing community service this week.’

 

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

 

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a

'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his

bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm

doing community service this week.’

 

The cop was happy and left the shop.

 

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank

you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

 

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his

bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm

doing community service this week.’

 

The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

 

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen

Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between

the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

 

As Ronald Reagan said: "Both politicians and diapers need to be

changed often and for the same reason.”

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1 hour ago, raymw said:

The Story of the Haircut

 

With barber shops and hair salons closed in most states this story is

very timely.  We all need to pitch in and help one another during

times of stress, difficulty or danger. Enjoy this story. There are

lessons to be learned from it.

 

The Story of the Haircut

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

 

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he

asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money

from you, I'm doing community service this week.’

 

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

 

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a

'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his

bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm

doing community service this week.’

 

The cop was happy and left the shop.

 

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank

you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

 

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his

bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm

doing community service this week.’

 

The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

 

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen

Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between

the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

 

As Ronald Reagan said: "Both politicians and diapers need to be

changed often and for the same reason.”

This really comes across as a sort of reverse telling of the 'Good Samaritan'.

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On 16/05/2020 at 06:34, kevinlms said:

The thing about making hand sanitiser that makes it easy, is that no one needs to worry about the taste! Which is a key part of any alcoholic drink.

 

Depends how much you've already had to drink.

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He grabbed me by my slender neck,

I could not shout or scream.

He carried me into his room

Where we could not be seen.

He tore me from my flimsy wrap

And gazed upon my form….

I was so cold and still and damp,

While he was wet and warm.

His feverish mouth he pressed to mine…

I let him have his way…

He drained me of my very self,

I could not say him nay.

He made me what I am. Alas!

That’s why you find me here…

A broken vessel, broken glass…

That once held bottled beer. 

                                     

Anon

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46 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

Actually it was a class 52.

Really?? On American track...?? :blum:

 

That photo is one from a famous incident where a mid-train helper loco failed to shut down once the train came to a stand. It sat there powering away for some time. There were 12 of these gouges in the track, once it was moved.

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1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said:

Really?? On American track...?? :blum:

 

That photo is one from a famous incident where a mid-train helper loco failed to shut down once the train came to a stand. It sat there powering away for some time. There were 12 of these gouges in the track, once it was moved.

Thanks for that information. The class 52 was mentioned on Farcebook. It must have been quite a job to recover the loco as I doubt it could be moved on its own wheels after that. 

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There's a YouTube clip of a Western (D1015 IIRC) wheelslipping, enough to create some sparks, but I think it was at a Station.

Anyway the rail fixings give that photo away as American practice. Offhand I can't find on google anything about the incident, but I'm probably not asking the right question!!

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New driver, clearly asleep in his basic Physics lessons at school and equally little attention to his Driver Instructor, either!!  

Maybe/probably, because of the the video cutting, I didn't see any setting back on the couplings either.

 

Julian

 

Edited by jcredfer
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15 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

image.png.0253dec629f83169e265774a19352579.png

 

Pour some Coke and stick any metal coin onto it.  Watch the result.......   wonder how any virus might survive...  ???

 

Well, no,  joking apart,I really don't think this is any form of solution for Covid, as it may well be a sanitiser, at a low level.....  but this virus is no low level performer!!

 

Julian

 

 

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