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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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21 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

Must be a stunt, even for the US that would be unbelievable!

If I were in that following car, I'd go and find another filling station....

 

Fuel has colour, the bags were clear liquid.  A set-up video wouldn't be out of the question.

 

Julian

 

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3 hours ago, kevinlms said:

Not all fuel is dyed, in fact most countries don't.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuel_dyes#Dyes_used

 

I think he means that most fuels like petrol, diesel, etc., have a natural colour of some kind, whereas the bags were of clear liquid.

 

In other news, I've been doing so much cutting of wood lately for my layout, my thumbs are a mitre saw.

 

Edit: added a weak joke to keep to topic ;)

 

Edited by Ian J.
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2 hours ago, Ian J. said:

 

I think he means that most fuels like petrol, diesel, etc., have a natural colour of some kind, whereas the bags were of clear liquid.

 

In other news, I've been doing so much cutting of wood lately for my layout, my thumbs are a mitre saw.

 

Edit: added a weak joke to keep to topic ;)

 

 

Thank you, indeed so.

 

Joke to keep in the spirit of the topic...

 

Subject:  Inner Peace

·        I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

This morning, I read about a doctor who says the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished.

Since then, I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now.

·        Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss..

An telum,u blody luvum.!!

 

Sray sage

 

Juwumn

 

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9 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said:

Pedantic hat on  There isn't a B&Q in Irvine, Methi, Linwood or Bathgate

Which explains why they couldn't buy a mower from B&Q in those places!

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1 hour ago, leopardml2341 said:

stars.png.9cb972dccd793f54cae6465fe8d7306c.png

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

 

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

 

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

 

"What does that tell you?"

 

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

 

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

 

 

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Further to the Mount Rushmore posts, there actually is a steam railroad that goes behind the mountain.

The view, however, ...

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