Jump to content
 

The non-railway and non-modelling social zone. Please ensure forum rules are adhered to in this area too!

The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
 Share

Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, manna said:

G'day Folks

101169990_1264572597220657_5424296094278352896_n.jpg

 

Powerpoint presentation of the new Trump plan for revised legislation for preventing Police violence against the population.....    or it might just be the plan for sending in the US military to kill off anyone who protests against Authoritarian violence and killings.....   not too easy to tell as only two shades of Yellow are visible!!

 

Julian

 

 

 

  • Like 5
  • Funny 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, BoD said:


 

I’ll help everyone along.......

 

I've checked this, and it’s true - the Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week....

 

It can't go on.....

 

The Balloonist  & the Engineer

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted:   'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' 

 

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.   You're between 51 and 52 degrees north latitude and between 1 and 2 degrees west longitude.' 

 

 'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.  'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'  

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.' 
 
The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'  
 
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'  
 
'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or which way to go.   You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my f**king fault.'

Julian

 

  • Like 4
  • Funny 11
Link to post
Share on other sites

27 minutes ago, jcredfer said:

 

It can't go on.....

 

The Balloonist  & the Engineer

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted:   'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' 

 

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.   You're between 51 and 52 degrees north latitude and between 1 and 2 degrees west longitude.' 

 

 'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.  'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'  

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.' 
 
The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'  
 
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'  
 
'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or which way to go.   You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my f**king fault.'

Julian

 

Hi Julian,

 

And that is precisely why I no longer work in engineering !

 

Gibbo.

  • Friendly/supportive 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...