RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted June 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 6, 2020 With the phased lifting of the lockdown, film crews are out & about in south Wales, looking at suitable locations. The crews are working on a new film..... "Hammered on the 4th of July" With Social distancing, no-one pinches 'yer pint....." The director is Cy Derr... 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted June 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 6, 2020 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 19 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Two parrots on a perch; one said to the other "Can you smell fish?" 13 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: March 29th. Mike. You clearly have too much time on your hands........ 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said: You clearly have too much time on your hands........ It's as though there is a pandemic sweeping the world and I am trapped in the wrong country! Mike. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 10 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: It's as though there is a pandemic sweeping the world and I am trapped in the wrong country! Mike. Hi Mike, I thought we were all trapped in a weird episode of Dr Who ! Gibbo. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 19 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: It's as though there is a pandemic sweeping the world and I am trapped in the wrong country! Mike. I'm trapped in the wrong country regardless of any pandemic!! 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted June 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 6, 2020 20 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Two parrots on a perch; one said to the other "Can you smell fish?" Nice. It took me 20 hours to get the punchline.... 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allegheny1600 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 25 minutes ago, tomparryharry said: Nice. It took me 20 hours to get the punchline.... I remember it from when I was at school*! . . . . . * Must have been a good school, it was "approved"! 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenrithBeacon Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 6 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted June 6, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 6, 2020 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 13 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted June 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 6, 2020 37 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said: Agree with her. 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 1 hour ago, Baby Deltic said: 2 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damo666 Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damo666 Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Etiket fer rednecks. GENERAL: 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home. DINING OUT: 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME: 1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are. PERSONAL HYGIENE: 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of good money. 3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days. 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewellery and alter the taste of finger foods. DATING (Outside the Family): 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATRE ETIQUETTE: 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. WEDDINGS: 1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE: 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using tights and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too. 5. Do not lay rubber while travelling in a funeral procession 6. 80 mph tape is also known as 'Duct Tape'. 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Damo666 Posted June 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2020 The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to camp with Bob because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make just one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept in the tent with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night." The third night was Paddy's turn. Paddy was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. Then I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the ass, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night." 1 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mountain Goat Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom. 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 7, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 7, 2020 Pocketmags have just sent me an email offering me a free copy of Psychic News. Didn't see that coming. Mike. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Enterprisingwestern said: Pocketmags have just sent me an email offering me a free copy of Psychic News. Didn't see that coming. Mike. I'd have thought Psychic News would just turn up. they'd KNOW you'd want to subscribe! 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Just now, Hroth said: I'd have thought Psychic News would just turn up. they'd KNOW you'd want to subscribe! Should you be a true psychic you would have no need of news (tidings) you would just know. 1 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post APOLLO Posted June 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2020 Brit15 2 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: Should you be a true psychic you would have no need of news (tidings) you would just know. That always puzzled me, seeing boards outside pubs advertising Psychic Nights..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 14 minutes ago, Hroth said: That always puzzled me, seeing boards outside pubs advertising Psychic Nights..... I know its the jokes thread, however, do you not think that such signs are provided for the benefit of the punters rather than any one that may be termed psychic ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinty3f Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Don't cowboys and fictional detectives have psychics? 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 7, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Gibbo675 said: I know its the jokes thread, however, do you not think that such signs are provided for the benefit of the punters rather than any one that may be termed psychic ? Don't let minor details like facts get in the way of a joke! Mike. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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