Gopher Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 On 08/07/2020 at 12:22, CameronL said: I wonder how many of them could even point out Canada on the map. Canada? Yeah its that state just north of New York right? 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 A gentleman is one who uses a butter knife when dining alone . . . 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Gopher said: Nothing, when you reach for the ticket, I will shoot you 6 times and claim you moved your hands, so I was in fear of my life. Much easier all round, you don't get a chance to challenge the ticket in Court , you don't have to afford a bicycle and I get congratulatory drinks from all, at the next shift booze-up, for emptying the whole Chamber! Julian 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leopardml2341 Posted July 9, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 9, 2020 4 3 25 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted July 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 10, 2020 17 hours ago, Chris116 said: Someone needs an A3 printer! I have an A3 printer, but it's only black and white. Do you think I'll get away with that? 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Sit.Rep 18:35 Been on lockdown gardening duties for the last three months. Getting desperate, and I'd promised M'Lady we'd get some supplies. Then we heard that the pub in the next village (five miles away) is reopening, but it is a Fancy Dress event. Someone said we better not drive, let's walk there. So we did, but then we got lost. So we were very hot, tired and thirsty by the time we got there. But it was probably the best lager in the village. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickon Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 It’s a five minute walk from my house to the nearest pub, but a fifteen minute walk back. The difference is staggering! 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted July 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 10, 2020 11 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Skipped bail? 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 Also: The taxidermist has got stuffed by the lack of custom. The monumental mason is stone broke. The estate agent is homeless. The equine stables has gone to the knacker's yard. The picture gallery got framed for receiving. The vegetarian food seller has gone completely nuts. The stationary shop has moved. The poodle parlour has been arrested for grooming. The brewery couldn't organise any more elevated micturation sessions. Worst of all: The hardware and ironmongery shop is down to its last four candles. It has no plugs, saw tips, hose, peas, pumps, washers, billhooks or knockers. 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Also: The taxidermist has got stuffed by the lack of custom. The monumental mason is stone broke. The estate agent is homeless. The equine stables has gone to the knacker's yard. The picture gallery got framed for receiving. The vegetarian food seller has gone completely nuts. The stationary shop has moved. The poodle parlour has been arrested for grooming. The brewery couldn't organise any more elevated micturation sessions. Worst of all: The hardware and ironmongery shop is down to its last four candles. It has no plugs, saw tips, hose, peas, pumps, washers, billhooks or knockers. Even worse - the model shop is off the rails, has run out of steam, is totally pointless and all the signals are bad. Edited July 10, 2020 by CameronL Added a bit 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted July 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 10, 2020 Share Posted July 10, 2020 (edited) Have you heard that rapper Kanye West has announced that he will run for election as the President of the United States of America this year? Kanye West is married to Kim Kardashian So, if Kanye West wins, Kim Kardashian will be the First Lady. Kim Kardashian is famous for having a big rear end Which means that for two Presidential Terms running there will be an enormous a**e in the Whitehouse. Edited July 10, 2020 by CameronL Punctuation! 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Joseph_Pestell Posted July 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 11, 2020 7 hours ago, CameronL said: Have you heard that rapper Kanye West has announced that he will run for election as the President of the United States of America this year? Kanye West is married to Kim Kardashian So, if Kanye West wins, Kim Kardashian will be the First Lady. Kim Kardashian is famous for having a big rear end Which means that for two Presidential Terms running there will be an enormous a**e in the Whitehouse. Not just large but a really weird shape. Useful though at a White House reception as somewhere to put down your wine glass while eating. 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Never having been a follower of the Kardashian species, I had to google to see what you meant. ARGHHHHH!!!!! WHERE'S THE BRAIN BLEACH??? 2 4 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Joseph_Pestell said: Not just large but a really weird shape. Useful though at a White House reception as somewhere to put down your wine glass while eating. Or somewhere to park your bike. 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted July 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 11, 2020 2 minutes ago, CameronL said: Or somewhere to park your bike. Especially if it's a Harley. Mike. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted July 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 11, 2020 3 hours ago, Hroth said: Never having been a follower of the Kardashian species, I had to google to see what you meant. They're some bad guys in Star Trek aren't they? 1 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium petethemole Posted July 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 11, 2020 They must be aliens, humans aren't that shape. 6 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Cue a reality tv show in the White house. Kanye in the Oval Office nearly as frightening as having access to the nuclear codes 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 Kanye West Is that station near Surbiton? 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted July 11, 2020 Share Posted July 11, 2020 6 minutes ago, simontaylor484 said: Cue a reality tv show in the White house. Kanye in the Oval Office nearly as frightening as having access to the nuclear codes All we have to do is vote harder because obviously that will make more difference in the end, either that or the joke's on us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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