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Rapido is hiring!


rapidotrains

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In case you haven't seen it in our recent North American newsletter, Rapido is hiring!

 
If you've been frustrated lately by the fact that it is so hard to get in touch with us, we share your frustration. A lot of people have suddenly taken notice of Rapido and, as a result, we've been inundated with calls and emails. Being a small company, we haven't been able to handle the increased attention, so it's time to change that!
 
Rapido is looking for a new, full-time employee to work out of our increasingly-cramped Markham, Ontario, Canada office. (We're working on that too...) Have a look at our list of criteria below and please get in touch if you think you may be the man or woman for the job.
 
Before applying, please take note of these TWO important points:
 
1. The first point is that if you don't have most of the needed skills, please don't apply. The last time we listed a position available we were inundated with applications from shrubbers. We don't even own a shrubbery, so I don't know why these guys kept contacting us.
 
2. The second point is that you must be a Canadian citizen or permanent resident. Canadian labour laws (with a "u") are very strict on this. We once hired a yak from Venezuela and he had to be sent packing. He was a Packed Yak.
 
3. The third point is - hang on... I'll come in again... Please take note of these THREE important points... You must already live in commuting distance from our Markham, Ontario office, or are planning to move here in the next few hours. Do not apply if you live in Berwick-Upon-Tweed, unless you are already commuting to Markham.
 
Now that the formal stuff is out of the way, here's what we're looking for:
 
- You must be a model railroader with the ability to repair and service models. Being able to work with DCC and wiring/soldering is an asset.
 
- You must be comfortable working in a warehouse and able to pack, lift and carry boxes.
 
- You must not be a total klutz. If you are always breaking stuff off of your models and complaining about how these dang things are too dang small, DO NOT APPLY. Similarly, if you think it is OK to pick up freight engines by their handrails, DO NOT APPLY. Yes, I'm talking to you, guy at the train show last year who ignored the "Do Not Touch" sign and tried to pick up our HO scale GMD-1 locomotive BY THE HANDRAILS!
 
- You must be conversant in (i.e. able to have a conversation with) computers in a Windows environment, including Microsoft Office and accounting and/or database software.
 
- You must have excellent writing and grammar skills. if u think its OK to right like this, DO NOT APPLY.
 
- You must be extremely personable and have a sexy telephone voice. Well, sexier than Dan's, anyway.
 
- You must have an excellent understanding of personal hygiene and presentability. If you think bathing once a week is more than enough, DO NOT APPLY.
 
- You must work well under pressure and be willing to keep at it until the job is done, even if it means you miss watching your daily rerun of On the Buses.
 
- You must not be easily intimidated and you must be calm in the face of adversity. When Big Bubba starts screaming at you on the phone ABOUT HOW YOUR DANG COACH KEEPS DERAILING BECAUSE IT HAS TOO MANY DANG UNDERBODY BITS THAT GET IN THE WAY OF MY 15 INCH CURVES I MEAN WHO NEEDS ALL THAT CRAP YOU CAN'T SEE IT UNLESS THE DANG CAR FALLS OFF THE DANG TRACK ANYWAY, YOU DANG IDIOTS! you can't lose your cool, start to cry or wet your trousers.
 
- You must be able to work train shows (which are on weekends) and you must be willing to travel to shows, even if it means missing another episode of On the Buses.
 
- Having web design experience is a valuable asset, as is the ability to turn base metal into gold.
 
- The ability to speak Canadian French is a valuable asset. French French is OK but it's not as cool. If you speak fluent Klingon, that is not much of an asset but we'll be really impressed. Qapla!
 
- Pronouncing "kilometre" the correct way is also a valuable asset as it bugs me when people say "kilaaawwwmetre" and I own the company.
 
- If you think this list is a bunch of nonsense and what the !#$% must we be smoking, then DO NOT APPLY.
 
Please email Dan or me with a cover letter and CV if you think you fit the bill. Hopefully this list discourages shrubbers this time.
 
Thanks and regards,
 
Jason
 
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I'm afraid I live too far away to apply for your post, neither do I speak French, of any variety.

 

I can turn base metals into gold, however....

 

Fantastic job description, and good luck with your shortlist...

 

HO gauge? is that, like, N gauge, but a bit bigger?

 

Ian

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I once worked with a French Canadian (for a very short time - he was not keen on being told his thinking was like that of a Frenchman) and a former girlfriend of mine emigrated to Canada.  None of which qualifies me for the job of course - which is just as well as I don't live near Berwick-On-Tweed but I do know a chap called Markham.

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- You must not be a total klutz. If you are always breaking stuff off of   :nono: your models and complaining about how these dang things are too dang small, DO NOT APPLY.

 

- You must have excellent writing and grammar skills. if u think its OK to right like this, DO NOT APPLY

 

I assume "off of" is derived from a French Canadian idiom!  :)
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- You must not be a total klutz. If you are always breaking stuff off of   :nono: your models and complaining about how these dang things are too dang small, DO NOT APPLY.
 

 

In the immortal words of Eric Idle, "if you're going to split hairs I'm going to piss off!"

 

:jester:

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A split infinitive is much more wrongerer.

 

Actually, there is nothing wrong with split infinitives.  Henry Alford just made a bunch of grammatical stuff up in the 19th century, and "don't split infinitives" was one of them.

 

Being a Trekkie, I am rather fond of split infinitives.  OK - I'll boldly go away now.

 

-Jason

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I am concerned by your use of 'On The Buses' as an insult.

 

Olive is a sex symbol and Stan is your archetypal man, this Classic British series should not be a put down.

 

I am a big On the Buses fan, but mainly for the buses themselves.  I even have the On the Buses board game!  My kids love it.  Though Isaac just likes to steal the buses and run them with his wooden Thomas trains.

 

I've turned into quite the bus nerd of late, even joining the Routemaster Association.  Rapido is seriously considering buying a Routemaster.  Unfortunately, the insurance for a Routemaster in Canada costs about as much as the bus.

 

If we buy a sleeping car next month the Routemaster plan will be put on hold.  One money pit is enough, thank you.

 

-Jason

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I am a big On the Buses fan, but mainly for the buses themselves.  I even have the On the Buses board game!  My kids love it.  Though Isaac just likes to steal the buses and run them with his wooden Thomas trains.

 

I've turned into quite the bus nerd of late, even joining the Routemaster Association.  Rapido is seriously considering buying a Routemaster.  Unfortunately, the insurance for a Routemaster in Canada costs about as much as the bus.

 

If we buy a sleeping car next month the Routemaster plan will be put on hold.  One money pit is enough, thank you.

 

-Jason

I always like the show too, one of the reasons I became a bus driver. However the reality is nothing compared to the show as it seems quite tame to some of the stuff that goes on at my job!!! :O

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Jason:

Can we persuade you to move operations to Guelph?  We're going to have a large vacant space nearby, soon, with a large sign with circles that might be convertible to say TegratO Rapido. And a built-in coffee shop.

 

I would certainly be available each day from, say, 11:00 (after coffee) until 3:00 when I take my nap.

We'll have to discuss the pension plan (does it include over 65s?). My French accent gets questions like "Where are you from?"

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Jason:

My French accent gets questions like "Where are you from?"

I had this problem. The wife of the then boss of CFF (or SBB, or FFS, take your choice) said she could not place my French accent. When I told her I was English she joked "You must be sleeping with a French woman". Little did she know there was a Belgian influence - Tintin, Poirot and Eddy Merckx. I'm on my bike......

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Je regret que je ne parle pas le Francais very much at all really.  Let alone the Canadian stuff.  Even though my wife has just recently visited Montreal and come back full of language like I never heard in class.

 

I would also like to apologize (with a zed and not a zee) that owing to extreme distance and the lack of Canadian citizenship I also fall short on other counts.

 

Perhaps I might qualify on the grounds that I can tell type from tripe and have not only watched every episode of On The Buses but for some time frequented Wood Green depot in north London where the TV shows were filmed.  

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My knowledge of the French language is limited to "Bon jour" and "Adios Amigos" although any speaker of Quebec French is likely to be a Habs fan so why would anyone want to talk to them anyway?  But at least I now know who to blame for those dreadful Rapido couplings that have plagued N Gauge for decades.

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I am a big On the Buses fan, but mainly for the buses themselves.  I even have the On the Buses board game!  My kids love it.  Though Isaac just likes to steal the buses and run them with his wooden Thomas trains.

 

I've turned into quite the bus nerd of late, even joining the Routemaster Association.  Rapido is seriously considering buying a Routemaster.  Unfortunately, the insurance for a Routemaster in Canada costs about as much as the bus.

 

If we buy a sleeping car next month the Routemaster plan will be put on hold.  One money pit is enough, thank you.

 

-Jason

 

You should combine your new found love of buses with your existing love of Bombardier products and check out these former Irish creations. Weird looking and also the nosiest buses probably ever. God how I miss them http://www.dublinbus.cc/kdmonth.htmThey were locally manufactured, didnt really bother with much structural integrity, plagued with build quality issues and a political nightmare. 

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