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The 2012 RMWeb Yuletide Readings


iL Dottore

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Dear Parishioners

 

We, at RMWeb, are proud of being a broad church and a vibrant community. One that is tolerant and where civilised discourse is the norm and not the exception. For this we must give thanks to our Archbishop, the Most Reverend Andy Y and his team of Bishop-moderators. For they have been instrumental in keeping our flock on the (mostly) straight and (mostly) narrow. But we must also thank the membership as well, for many members of this parish have been most generous with their time, their knowledge, their help and - often - their kindness. And yes, I do mean kindness; for in 2012 some members of our flock have suffered loss and adversity, both major and minor, and many members of RMWeb (and you know who you are on ER) were there with words of condolence, comfort and support. These things are not unnoted and are blessed.

 

The Archbishop of this Parish has asked me to give two lessons for the 2012 readings. I shall take one from the old testament and one from the new...

 

My first lesson is from the Book of Hornby, Chapter 1, verses 10 - 22.

 

And lo, on the seventeenth day of the twelfth month did it come to pass that St Kohler, known as Simon, did emerge from the burning wastelands that is Margate

And in his arms were scrolls of prophecy, known as the chronicles of twenty and thirteen.

And firmly, did St Kohler, known as Simon, march through the multitudes, towards the temple of the web.

And though entreated by many, not a word was uttered, nor did he deviate from his path of righteousness.

Only having ascended the temple of the web, did St Kohler, known as Simon, reveal the prophecies as the sun reached its meridian.

And there was much exultation from the rightprice-ites, for their froth had been rewarded.

And hosannas were sung and sacrifices made of cards of the credit and of the folding green.

And the rightprice-ites fell to their knees and prayed "let the boat arrive safely from China"

And whilst the righteous exulted, praising design clever, there was lamentation and wailing from the EM-ites, P4-ites and S4-ites, known as the Finescale-ites.

For the scrolls of prophecy did condemn the false idolatry of the Finescale-ites For added separate detail is an abomination unto the eyes of "He Who Manufactureth All Models".

And, lo, with wailings and grinding of teeth, were the Finescale-ites cast into the wilderness, to live from bitter herbs and cottage industries.

And "He Who Manufactureth All Models", looked and saw that it was good.

 

Here endeth the lesson.

 

My next reading I take from the Pendon Apocrypha. Chapter 3, verses 25 - 31

 

I tell you, keep modelling and skill will be given you.

Keep asking and you will learn.

Keep befriending and friendship will be opened to you.

For everyone who models will be skilful.

He who asks learns,

He who befriends will in turn be befriended.

 

Here endeth the lesson.

 

May you enjoy a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year with your loved ones and your friends.

 

And let us continue to enjoy our great hobby in 2013, building on - and improving on - the good things RMWeb hath wrought in 2012.

 

Blessings be upon you.

 

The (very slightly) Reverend iD.

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Yet there was a great disturbance in the market place, for disciples of other prophets did cry out that the proclamations of Simon were a blasphemy and not of the true path.

Much lamentation and wailing did abound in the land, for the people were sore perplexed and knew not where to cast their shekels.

And as the days passed the Finescale-ites did quietly continue to do their good work amongst the misguided and needy who followed the false gods.

 

Book of actually making things. Chapter 4, verse 7.

 

 

May 2013 bring you all you wit and wisdom, Happy Christmas.

 

Pastor (and sometimes past it) Jol Wilkinson

 

Founder member of the AFL and the BWLA.

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"Blessed are the poor in pocket,

for theirs is the kingdom of Hattons.

 

Blessed are they who scorn and ridicule,

for they shall be told where their place lieth.

 

Blessed is the freak,

for he shall inherit the roundy-round

 

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for rightness in rivets,

for they shall eventually be satisfied.

 

Blessed are the fanciful,

for they shall (finally) obtain a Blue Pullman.

 

Blessed are the pure of gauge and scale,

for they shall see He Who Manufactureth All Models.

 

Blessed are the greasemakers,

for they shall be called lubricators of our Private Heaven.

 

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness in all things,

for theirs is the kingdom of our Private Heaven."

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Forgive me farther for I have sinned. :angel:

 

For I have been tempted with the flesh of a naughty little O-Gauge model. I have strayed from the path of 4mm modelling!

 

Forgive me father and provide me with guidance. :jester:

 

Regards,

 

Nick

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;)

 

Thank you to the the irReverent ID for this morning's sermon.

 

To be fair I think the scribes and the finescaleites have been reasonably OK with this year's prophecies and they don't have any need to rent mourners for the loss of the blessed deflector handrail as their enlightened ways give them the means to interpret the prophecies. I hope the 'we want it all, we want it now and we want it for less than it will be' can turn from their Sodom and Gomorrah and accept that those in red cloaks are doing their best to make sure we still have our toys for many years to come.

 

Peace be with you. ;)

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I hope the 'we want it all, we want it now and we want it for less than it will be' can turn from their Sodom and Gomorrah

 

There is one lesson for such Philistines. Sodom, for Gomorrah they die!

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You can walk on water if you make it from the right materials. It's called a varnishing trick. There is no rhyme or resin why you can't.

 

All Hail to the Blessed Flavio for his divine intervention. It is as well that he did not describe our leader as a primate for it has always tickled me that this term is as applicable to an archbishop as to a gorilla.

 

Merry Christmas everybody!

 

Chris

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Time for a few carols I think - so to get us all in the mood here are some useful verses from a couple of well known carols -

 

Star of wonder, star of light,

star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to the Hornby site

(this will replace the usual first verse which refers to three kings - that is deemed inappropriate this year)

 

Some carols refer to our hopes for the coming year, so perhaps this might be appropriate as the first verse?

 

Deck the Halls with separate handrails

Fa la la la la, la la la

Tis the season to ask Hornby,

Fa la la la la, la la la

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And from Down Under (with due acknowledgement offered to authors unknown - these are in the public domain but unattributed)

 

 

AUSSIE JINGLE BELLS

 

Dashing through the bush in a rusty Holden ute

Kicking up the dust, Esky in the boot

Kelpie by my side, singing Christmas songs

It’s summertime and I am in my singlet and my thongs

 

Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

Christmas in Australia on a scorching summer’s day

Jingle bells jingle bells Christmas is a beaut

Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden ute

 

Engine’s getting hot – we dodge a kangaroo

Swaggie climbs aboard, he is welcome too.

All the family’s there sitting by the pool

Christmas day the Aussie way by the barbecue

 

Jingle bells………..

 

Come the afternoon Grandpa takes a doze

The kids and uncle Bruce are swimming in their clothes

The time comes round to go – we take a family snap

And stack the car and all shoot through before the washing up!

 

Jingle bells……..

 

 

and

 

 

 

 

DECK THE SHEDS WITH BITS OF WATTLE…..

 

Deck the sheds with bits of wattle

Fa la la la la - la la la la

Whack some gum leaves in a bottle

Fa la la la la - la la la la

All the shops are open Sundays

Fa la la - la la la - la la la

Buy your Dad some socks and undies

Fa la la la la - la la la la

 

Deck the sheds with bits of gum tree

Hang some deco’s off the plum tree

Plant some kisses on the missus

Have a ripper Aussie Christmas

 

Say G’day to friends and rellies

Wave them off with bulging bellies

Kids and babies, young and oldies

May your fridge be full of Coldies

 

Chop the wood and stoke the Barbie

Ring the folks in Abu Dhabi

Pop the stuffing in the turkey

Little Mary’s feeling ercky

 

Rally rally round the table

Fill your belly while you’re able

Joyce and Joany, Dave and Daryl

Sing an Aussie Christmas carol!

Fa la la la la - la la la la

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Since we are in Advent:

 

Creator of a Star at last

P2, pacific and a Hall,

We hope for models of real class,

Hear thou thy cust'mers when they call.

 

We love the skew wound five pole motor,

And do the glazing like you ought to,

Lined and liveried beautifully,

Let seperate handrails fitted be.

 

Thy models have been passing good,

Progress made as well it should,

Backwards you should rarely go,

No paint in cab, that doesn't show.

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All Hail to the Blessed Flavio for his divine intervention. It is as well that he did not describe our leader as a primate for it has always tickled me that this term is as applicable to an archbishop as to a gorilla.

 

Merry Christmas everybody!

 

Chris

 

Surely a Gorilla is a Prime Ape?

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I'm sorry but I cannot compete with such erudition - dropped English Lit to do TD!! :P

So in plain English, all I can do is wish the management (Archbishop Andy and his team - I promise, I'll be a good boy next year, honest) and all RMWebbers a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

Regards,

Brian.

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