Jump to content
 

HeeleyBridge

Members
  • Posts

    299
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by HeeleyBridge

  1. Delivery costs more than the Lack shelf, 50% more. I bought a TV bench, at £40 for two 1200x350mm baseboards the £15 delivery charge was less painful.
  2. I'm a grease spot already and it's getting hotter...

  3. Aldi kitchen cleaner in the squirty bottle, maybe the Lidl version too.
  4. I am NOT a butcher. The cheek of some people...

     

  5. Hey Jeff, I just spent what seems like half my life catching up, you're still stone crazy I see... 🤣 I'll not stay away so long in future.
  6. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water ...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Barry O

      Barry O

      hope things improve for you as soon as possible..

    3. Mad McCann

      Mad McCann

      ...swim with R*lf...

    4. ullypug

      ullypug

      Clutching at straws

       

  7. 10lbs of sprouts just gone on to boil. Where has this year gone.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      Gas Mark 11

    3. Horsetan

      Horsetan

      They don't call his part of town the Windy City for nothing.

    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Won't they boil dry by 25th December?

       

      Hope not, will have to keep topping the pan up :)

  8. Gawd, ow much longer befre this ruddy bnk holiday is over? I'm bored out of my brain. Beer O'clock...

  9. Raises a toast to King George III on this day.

    1. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      That's madness!

  10. And yes it's bl**dy raining again.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      It's been raining on and off down here in Devon in a highly shower-like fashion. One might almost term the weather here as 'showery'.

    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Still nice here, might have chips for tea then catch some 'tourists'.

    4. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      How will you tell that their cork

      hasn't been popped?

  11. From the dew soaked hedge creeps a crawly caterpillar.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Tim! You've gone all KINKY!!

    3. Tim Dubya
    4. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      I met her in a club down in old Soho

      Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola

      C-O-L-A cola.

      She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.

      I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said, "Lola"

      L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola

  12. I will ride on the train. I will be the fisherman

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      I'm too old for this.....

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Join the club mate.

    4. Two_sugars

      Two_sugars

      what is it with this year?

  13. has decided to withdraw from politics and spend more time with his family

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      Not surprisingly the family told me to **** off!

       

      :) Pint o'clock then...

       

    3. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      With the family? Oh please no... ;-)

    4. skipepsi

      skipepsi

      You and 170'labour' MP's?

  14. is having one of THOSE days.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      I'm disappointed. I've only seen three flashers all day.

    3. The Stationmaster

      The Stationmaster

      Looks like it's not your week, hope the next one is better.

    4. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      Once I was been driven from Durham to Aberdeen. After the fourth flash the drivers logic was, "licence gone, foot down". (He was shortly off too work abroad for three years) We got flashed seventeen times in total on that journey and he never heard a squeak! Now if that had been me driving...

  15. Well, I woke up this morning ...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      woke up yesterday too

      and if I wake up tomorrow

      that'll be three days in a row

    3. Chrisr40

      Chrisr40

      Better than the alternative

       

    4. 45568

      45568

      Well. That's better than the alternative.

  16. is feeling oddly out of sorts today

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      but oshifer...

    3. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      It's off to Greasy Vera's for you m'lad or even Josephines and Big Jim.

    4. HeeleyBridge
  17. has lost the will to live.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      .......and relax. Boris will save us all.

    3. Porcy Mane

      Porcy Mane

      Sit back, take it easy, unbend, do some modelling. (before it becomes to expensive!)

    4. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      I'm really worried now that we're going to have two leaders with weird blonde hair! Aaaaaaaaaargh!

  18. Oh. The water's getting deep. And I can't swim. Beacuse it's dirty dirty water.

    1. keefer

      keefer

      oh-wo-oh-oh-o

    2. Mallard60022

      Mallard60022

      Aright.......and Rick is too (we hope).

    3. HeeleyBridge
  19. Apologises for any discomfort caused by his excessively loud shouting and cheers. That is all.

  20. Potato of the week: Maris Piper.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      Nice one, chips, roast and a good baker! (I like beige coloured food).

    3. Mallard60022
    4. Captain Kernow

      Captain Kernow

      Reginald, the Oligarch of the Potatoes is indifferent to your preferences.

  21. Out of work and got no money, A Sunday joint of bread and honey.

    1. Ian J.

      Ian J.

      Bread and honey... mmmmmmm! :-)

    2. manna

      manna

      Kinks Ehh!

  22. Come on Yorkshire. Let's have the Lankies sorted ... 68-6 let's make it 7 :)

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tim Hall

      Tim Hall

      Amusingly, my boys from Worcester beat the Tykes in the same comp last week, with 25 overs to spare, despite the fact that you had 6 imternationals and we had none :) Even more amusingly, most of the batting damage was done by our acting captain, who scored a rapid 60 after opening for the first time ever :) I did enjoy that :)

    3. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      on the oche...

    4. waggy

      waggy

      84 all out, that's one hell of a result

  23. So I shouted to the driver hey conductor, you must slow down I think I see her please let me off this bus

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      bet it's not quite a jaguar?

    3. HeeleyBridge

      HeeleyBridge

      errr not quite mate

    4. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      was it built in fifty nine in a factory by the Tyne?

      (my good fellow)

  24. is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum

    1. Tim Dubya

      Tim Dubya

      I would sit down and have a sherry, old chap.

  25. Good mornin, Good mornin, we've danced the whole night through

×
×
  • Create New...