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FROG - haw haw* This Ought to Make All Grandpas Feel All Warm and Fuzzy A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said her Grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog because my mum said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!

Their is a growing number of enthusiastic members for these live steam models the OO Live Steam Club site http://oolivesteam.comhas a lot of information on how to drive the little beauties as it takes a wee bit of skill to drive them but very enjoyable. BTW they look great outside on a frosty Morning

ABSOLUTELY FUMING

IRISH RAILWAY COMPANY COMPLAINT LETTER The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,500 years ago. Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan -------------------------------- Dear Mr. Finnegan, We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,500 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Irish Railway Company ---------------------------------- Gentlemen, I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Old Testament, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That.... Gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years! Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan.

The Man Rules! At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear 'the rules' from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. That's what men do. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape ! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh and to appreciate the truth! Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

She's single.... She lives right across the street. I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door. I opened the door, she looks at me and said, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and get laid tonight! Are you doing anything?" I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free!" She said, "Great! ....Could you watch my dog?? Being a senior citizen, really sucks!

WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA? A man walked into the ladies department... and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' “Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. 'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.' Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: 'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?' Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.' The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills. Oh and Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs. {B} Barely there. {C} Can't Complain. {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" 9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 10.. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 11.. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. And last... but not least: 12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. ...To test this theory... ...Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour... ...Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

An elderly man named Sam lived on a large farm in Florida by himself. He had a large pond in his backyard. This pond was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and apple trees. Late one evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while. He also grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he got close to the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he got a little closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. So the farmer made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” Sam frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up Sam said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.” Some old men can still think fast!!!

Distinction between Guts and Balls To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?” BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, “You're next, Chubby.” I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.

A Warning to buying on eBay Be careful what you buy on eBay. If you buy things online, check out the seller carefully. A friend has just spent £129.50 plus vat on a P##### enlarger. The baskets sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions were "Do not use in sunlight".

A guy was driving down a motorway with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up, "I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales". "Why do you think that ?" he said. "Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says "stit ruoy su wohs".

Can I add these photos found on the flickr WWW although may not be detailed enough https://www.flickr.com/photos/lickeybanker/11580395145 https://www.flickr.com/photos/blue-diesels/2304566483/in/set-72157604133250945 https://www.flickr.com/photos/trevor-plackett/7598992456 https://www.flickr.com/photos/neil_harvey_railway_photos/8636308179 https://www.flickr.com/photos/neil_harvey_railway_photos/8636308193/in/photostream/ https://www.flickr.com/photos/mrc31176/13816078245 https://www.flickr.com/photos/mrc31176/13816078485/in/photostream/ https://www.flickr.com/photos/roddymacphee/9619021739 https://www.flickr.com/photos/24736216@N07/3303044001/in/album-72157614128051127/lightbox/

APHORISM ("A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth"). 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. " 2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7 Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12 There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m - for example, it could be the right number. 13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap. 15. Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? 18. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford. 19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead. 20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter. 21. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift. And REMEMBER.... "POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON" --

Was very impressed by the design and the finished board which I saw at the Glasgow show Martin

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really *ucked up now.”

There is this on utube which may be of interest Railway Roundabout 1959 'The Skye Line (Fort William to Mallaig)

Been to Bonnybridge today and seeing Bridge of Muir in the flesh so to speak was breathtaking and for me it was the icing on the cake at this exhibition well done Peter and his team Bonnybridge exhibition although small has a lot of really good layouts well worth a visit.

Hi I am in Alexandria know( have only met one outside cyberspace) of at least 3 rmwebers who post regularly who live locally regards eddie

West Highland Line: Great Railway Journeys Through Time (Paperback) By John A. McGregor copyright John A. McGregor/Amberley Publishing The book gives a short resume of the original West Highland line; which links Glasgow and Fort William. It was opened all at once in 1894. From the north shore of the Firth of Clyde then passes the Gareloch, Loch Long and Loch Lomond, before crossing desolate Rannoch Moor. From Corrour, Britain's highest and most inaccessible railway station, it descends through Glen Spean towards Fort William. In this book, Dr John McGregor uses a collection of photographs to bring the history of the line to life. The photographs give a then and now of the various stations; some photographs I have came across before and a few new to me. My only criticisms are some of the photographs lack definition and therefore seem to lack quality; like printing your own photos in draft form on ordinary paper at home Otherwise a good read for the price of a couple of mags Price £14.99 or you may get it discounted by doing a little search on the WWW This book only covers the original West Highland line but there is another companion book called West Highland Extension: Great Railway Journeys Through Time [Paperback] John McGregor (still doing my paper round to get it ) Bibliographic data for West Highland Line Title West Highland Line Subtitle Great Railway Journeys Through Time Authors and contributors By (author) John A. McGregor Physical properties Format: Paperback Number of pages: 96 Width: 165 mm Height: 235 mm Thickness: 235 mm Weight: 301 g Language English ISBN ISBN 13: 9781445613369 ISBN 10: 1445613360 Illustrations note 170 illustrations incl 87 colours Publisher Amberley Publishing Imprint name Amberley Publishing Publication date 23 May 2013 Publication City/Country Chalford/GB Eddie

Bodgit of the Glen I thought this was a West Highland layout if so Wit's this all aboot "I have also added some blue for the Lake, although again the colour will be adjusted later in the build." The only lake I know in scotland is the lake of menteith near the aberfoyle branch line all other wee bits of water which are bigger than a puddle we call Lochs up here!! Other than that yer wee layout is lookin great Regards Eddie

I took these photos a few weeks ago at Arrochar and Tarbet which may or not help and last year at Garelochhead Following your project; which I like with interest regards Eddie

Hi PE This link may be of some help there are a few photos in Ernie's Archives of Corrour http://www.flickr.com/photos/irishswissernie/7686788376/in/set-72157630842431296/

The View of Corrour in the Argyll and the Highlands' Lost Railways is a good Old photograph of the station but it is from the north and does not give a good view of the box and cottage. eddie

Corrour was built of red bricks and at one stage was rendered found a photo here which may be of use to you http://www.flickr.com/photos/34800790@N04/8214947890 http://www.flickr.com/photos/33161579@N06/8082840912 A search on Google images will bring up photos of Corrour Eddie