Steve K

Something a little more down-to-Earth, but possibly even rarer than original Mini Coopers:

Could it be some kind of bonnet lock? Looks to be sitting over where the lever protrudes form the grille. The "strap" part could just be its shadow.

Those body kits are very good, but I can still see that that's no Ferrari! It is very well done, though... (not sure why the quoted photo doesn't appear without clicking the link - not to worry, to save everyone the trouble of clicking, the photo is of a Toyota MR2 with a very convincing F355-alike body kit)

Insert them in Donald Tusk's rear end? Sorry if that's getting too political... if it helps, I'd gladly insert them into pretty much any politician, of any party, these days.

Well, the argument seems to be that a stake in another club of up to 10% is OK, as long as it's just regarded as an investment. A fairly specific point of law, that, and one which is bound to arouse the cynic in many of us, I'm sure! However, if Oldham do play Salford next year, and Scholes happens to still be the manager, I bet he'd want to beat Salford, just to have the bragging rights over Giggs and the Nevilles.

I may be in the minority, but I hate it when players from "my" team - club or country - dive and cheat, probably even more so than when the opposition do it. It's embarrassing, basically, to see athletes (because that's what they are, like them or loathe them) fall around, feigning injury or otherwise cheating the other side. To take just one example - it was unpleasant to watch Diego Simeone fall over to get David Beckham sent off in the 1998 World Cup, but in the same fixture 4 years later, it was pathetic to see Michael Owen dive to get a penalty after Mauricio Pocchetino (yes, that one!) failed to touch him. That dive soured the result for me. That said, I've just re-watched some highlights from that 2002 game, just to confirm that Owen did dive, and some of the tackles flying in were fairly brutal! Proper competitive international football, not like the stop-start sub-championship rubbish* that passes for world class these days... *Disclaimer: other opinions about the relative standards of club and international football are available. Standards may go up or down. Your blood pressure may be at risk if you take anything I say too seriously.

It was entertaining, watching 2 teams not really mastering the art of defence. Honestly, a draw would have been a fair result (I say that as one of your neutrals, watching the highlights on MOTD). The offside law, though, is just one of the many things that baffles and annoys me these days - how was that 4th Wolves goal not offside? I realise that Jota wasn't strictly offside for the final pass, but he was a mile off on the previous touch - effectively, he was goal-hanging and avoiding having to run as far to get his final touch. Another bafflement/annoyance from yesterday's games: Mo Salah. Awesome player, but why was he not booked for the penalty-seeking dive when his team were 1-0 down? Mightn't have affected the result, but it would have helped fans think that top teams don't get all of the decisions their way!

On the subject of mildly obscure Scottish football, Fort William are playing Cove Rangers today. FW are bottom of the Highland League, Cove are top. FW's current goal difference of around -150 does not indicate that an upset is on the cards. I predict something in the region of a 12-nil rout. See you at 5 o'clock to review this forecast! Edited to add: the match has been called off due to a frozen pitch, but my prediction still stands, as and when this fixture is rearranged!

A bit harsh - I'd have struggled to do better in French!

BMW: Illegal number plate - check. Parked on double yellows - check. Stupidly large alloys - check. Total idiot owner - I think so.

I think you're right on both counts, Jordan. Peanuts is probably full of pathos, or bathos, or something, but definitely lacking in anything resembling humour - a bit like a Carla Lane sitcom, in many ways. Calvin and Hobbes I never read that much, but I've seen enough to get the cleverness of it. Better than that, it's funny, although the humour in that one reminds me of a darker version of Garfield. But that's a good thing!

That's nothing. I'm starting to think that I'll never win the lottery, but Sainsburys have got millionaire's shortbread in stock, just on the off-chance.

I've seen a few cars with plates like that, with UK reg and country-of-origin style plates - VWs with German-style UK plates, for example. I'm pretty sure they're illegal, but the police probably have bigger concerns. They don't seem too concerned about the current spate of illegally-spaced plates (I see dozens every day - if nothing else, they allow you to give the driver a wide berth, on the basis that they're almost certainly a selfish, egotistical prat) on cars up and down the country. On a related subject (though little to do with old cars - sorry), I've also started to notice a spate of cars in the UK with no front number plate, though if you look closely, the plate is usually on the top of the dashboard. I presume that the drivers, if caught, will say "honestly officer, it just fell off and I was on my way to Halfords", but in reality, these are simply arrogant lawbreakers who think that their car looks "cooler" with no front plates.

Whilst in the Highland League, Fort William are 10 points adrift, -7 points (yes, minus 7, they were docked 9 points early on) and goal difference of -118 after 18 games.

If you tell that joke to the presenter, and he says "I'm not happy", don't make it worse by asking "Which one are you, then?".