Arrived at my station today to travel to London for my last ever late turn...

Station announcement 'Southwest Trains regret the late running of trains today due to engineering works at New Malden'.

Me..Turn to the one platform staff on duty - 'What engineering works?'

PS..'The notices have been up all week'.

Me.. 'Where?'

PS.. 'In the booking hall'.

Me.. 'And the booking hall is?'

PS.. 'Over there'.

Me.. 'No - the booking hall is ---- SHUT for refurbishment!'

PS.. 'But thats where we always put them'.

I know its 1st April but....