Firstly, many thanks to the very helpful team at Youchoos who spent time investigating this for me, and eventually offered the following explanation (which I hope I'm carrying forwards correctly).
It seems there is a 'convention' (as opposed to a 'standard') that Consist construct instructions are sent out three times. However, not all controllers do (it's suspected NCE Powercab and Lenz don't), and some decoders look for three instructions while others are happy receiving just one.
Apparently Zimo are sitting on the fence with this issue, with their MX decoders happy to have one instruction, while their MS series wait for three.
So for now, apart from setting CV19 manually, it seems I'm scuppered unless Zimo decide to relax the requirement for three in a future software release.
Hope this helps anyone else confounded by Consist Join issues and thank you again everyone who pitched in with suggestions. If nothing else it's been a useful learning experience!