Malcolm 0-6-0

Umm.. that is being polite, he died of something else far less polite but endemic to that period and was to remain so until the discovery of penicillin.

Sounds like an impenetrable book I once got stuck with (also a candidate for the Pulitzer) Gravity's Rainbow as my sole source of reading material, while stuck for several days in Broken Hill in far west Queensland, while waiting for my next assignment from the mining company that employed me to survey their prospects for aboriginal sites as part of the EIS requirements. After several days of that turgid prose I was positively lusting after weeks of labouring through the spinifex in searing temperatures accompanied by my own personal miasma of blow flies.

Now that's looking like becoming a splendid little beast. An enjoyable change from all this angst over the Black Death and will it mean the end of the medieval period as we know it. Our government has now decreed that any public gathering of more than two people will be an offence punishable by a hefty fine. Which leads one to the consideration that if they ban gatherings of solitary individuals will that then mean we won’t know what to do with ourselves?

But there is one wartime song I do enjoy, the reply to Lady Astor's remark about the Eighth Army, and perhaps a little closer in its sentiments to that of the soldiers rather than of those keeping the home fires burning. This apparently is the somewhat censored version.

Well as a bloke in their 70s I can say that I was raised in the cultural sense not on Vera Lynn classics but on rock and roll. As I've grown older my tastes now centre largely on what is loosely termed classics, Delta blues and the rich tapestry of what is generally known as world music. Popular music as in "pop" doesn't really figure at all, while the thought of being trapped in some retirement home listening to Vera Lynn fills me with a desire to commit suicide. I want to go out to the strains of Mick and the Stones singing Street Fighting Man or Brown Sugar.

That's about Fawcett isn't it - I read the book. It's sort of interesting but yes I agree it is a bit of a Pythonesque Ripping Yarn.

Indeed, as in the ongoing situation I mentioned, we all expect that if charges are brought against people for crimes then it shouldn't be a game of chance but instead the inevitable result of an accumulation of evidence that demonstrates without reasonable doubt that the accused is guilty. But the evidence given to the police by the barrister as they informed on their clients was by its nature inadmissible, so it needed to be laundered in such a way that the court was unaware of its source - the level of cynical corruption present in this matter created by all the parties is astounding. In those circumstances and despite the fact that these criminals actually made admissions to the police on the advice of their barrister, who in turn was using a script written by the police, doesn't in fact assuage their guilt it just puts them and us the citizen, all in the bind that the odd Scottish verdict "Not Proven" does. We know they did it, they admitted it and did deals to get lighter sentences yet, because they are all now appealing, there remains a good chance that they will go free and another round of tit for tat murders will commence. The drug scene in Melbourne is now run by a whole new generation of criminals and the killings are as regular as they were then. What will happen when these convictions are overturned and old gangs and enmities are revived. To make matters worse one of the major players who was convicted of complicity in ten murders was himself murdered in prison, while another has suffered a severe bashing which apparently has given him serious brain damage. If the unethical convictions are overturned then we citizens will pay the cost of damages if suits are brought against the police. A few years ago, in a closed court judgement, the barrister received 3 million dollars in a secret settlement awarded against the police, as compensation for having to live in hiding under an assumed name. Something they very publicly reopened on their own because they was upset with the way the police handled the matter. Corruption, hypocrisy and stupid self-interest are a diabolical mixture. I think any reasonable citizen should expect a far greater standard of behaviour by two of the three divisions of the criminal justice system. So it is important that if cases are brought before the court then they should be of such a standard that they can beat reasonable doubt but also they should be arrived at by ethical means because as sure as eggs are eggs these sorts of corrupt practices never remain secret for ever - someone will always talk.

There are many problems with our common system however, like democracy, it may be wrong at times but it is better than the alternative. In my home state of Victoria there is an ongoing inquiry into the behaviour of a defence barrister who was, at the same time as they were representing people charged with crimes was acting as a paid police informant against the same people. And they went as far as to encourage their clients into guilty pleas on the excuse of getting a better sentencing result at the behest of the police. This behaviour naturally goes against every standard of correct behaviour. And is one in which the ordinary citizen like myself can see no virtue in the behaviour of either the police or the criminals or the barrister. However, and this is the rub, this barrister was representing a number of the major players in a very nasty and vicious drug gang war which saw some 25 drug dealers and petty criminals murdered over the space of around 10 years. Her clients now have very sound grounds for appeal against the long sentences they were given yet at the time made no secret of their behaviour and associations. So what is worse, that they stay incarcerated and therefore unable to create further harm or commit further murders, or win appeals and go back to their old lifestyle basically indemnified against legal responsibility by the double jeopardy principle? Plus be able to claim substantial financial damages which the state i.e. the taxpayer will have to bear. As it stands at the moment one person who was convicted of murder has already had their sentence quashed and was released. Whether it was deserved or not is irrelevant, it was the decision of the appeal judges based on the clearly unethical behaviour of the barrister. If they find that other presently incarcerated criminals who were involved in this bloody gangland violence have unsafe convictions because of the this barrister's behaviour as an informant, then it will test our justice system to its limits. Make no bones about it these are not people of Dreyfus like innocence, they are violent career criminals and murderers whose past records alone should see them locked up.

Now as an Australian, and to be fair, it rather depends on the particular manufacturer's pie you purchase. My local baker does a splendid steak pie with superb gravy and proper chunks of quality meat which is absolutely delicious accompanied by my secret recipe mashed potato and veggies on a cold winter's night. There are also available commercial steak pies from supermarkets which also have real meat without the gristle etc. It is a case of shopping around for the best product as is everything.

FYI this is what two meters looks like -

Such self-aggrandisement is only to be expected if your family goes from being a cake to a geographical feature ..............

Twas on the good ship Petri Dish My God you should have seen us...

Don't ask yourself why that particular box was the only one left .....................

We're moving to that stage at present. But the strangest one was that Bondi Beach was shut down https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-21/bondi-beach-closed-over-crowds-amid-coronavirus-pandemic/12077618 On balance I'd say a beach in the open air and with a healthy breeze would be far less likely place to propagate the virus than a pub with all those customers in a confined place.

See that's why getting back on topic is a problem - everyone has forgotten what the topic was

Oh how I miss the old USSR - if the coronavirus had struck when they were around then it would have been them rushing in to claim they invented it before the US.

Our sewerage authorities issued a panic stricken warning forbidding the use of newspaper as it would result in irremediable clogging of the sewers.

No it is the Antique & Historical Arms Collectors Guild of Victoria. Which as the name suggests explains its members' interests. We have around 820 members at present. We are beset by other conditions beyond the failing economy, not least of which is that collecting valuable antiques and arms of historic interest is an expensive hobby, and these days so few young people (by that I mean people still paying of mortgages and raising children) have the disposable income for such interests. Firearms ownership in Australia is quite tightly licensed and controlled, which is as it should be, however by following the regulations as laid out in the various states' Firearms Acts there is nothing to prevent anyone from becoming either a sporting shooter or in our case a collector. In fact we collectors have the tightest restrictions of the lot but I am able to collect what I wish and have been doing so for over 50 years. That tightening of disposable income is a leading cause of membership decline in the collecting area, however at the grass roots level of ordinary sporting shooting we are experiencing growth in both longarm and pistol shooting interests. These are also tightly regulated. However now with the coronavirus the committe will have to make the decision whether or not to cancel our next club meeting which is on the 30th and also cancel the April and May meetings as well. These are not decisions I welcome however better safe than sorry. Troubled times.

Well as a firearms owner I suggest that they buy only the smallest calibre firearms available. I think a .50 S&W Magnum pistol would be considered ungentlemanly given the size of the prey. However all jokes aside it is the level of uncertainty at present that is the main issue for all of us no matter how much we put a brave face on it. The Australian federal and state governments seem to be prepared to make tough decisions which is welcome. But, and this is probably more important given the relatively low number of infections, the biggest problem emerging is the economic damage it is causing. Today our Reserve Bank dropped the official interest rate to .25 of a percent, and has begun buying government bonds following the quantitative easing practice the US introduced some years back. That isn't a good sign as people living off their investments or having invested capital are being hit very hard. The economy was trending that way anyway but this virus has devastated consumer confidence (except apparently in toilet roll investment). My day job, although I'm in my 70s is Secretary of a large club, and for years we had relied on our fixed term deposits to keep us in the black. Membership numbers are declining as clubs as a social venue seem to be going the way of the dodo due to the ease by which like minded people can access each through the internet. We had hopes that revamping both the website and our magazine would stimulate growth however along came the coronavirus - so much for considered planning.

I have this dreadful sinking feeling that the human race will survive the current unpleasantness. Pangolins may not be so pleased. So

We have another called "Home and Away" perhaps it will change to "Home and Quarantined"

And from distant Australia the news is that the long lasting blot on our arts "Neighbours" has also suspended production.

Unfortunately, and also embarrassingly, this morning I was forced through normal depletion of the essential item to purchase a pack at my local supermarket. Being sensible the proprietors have removed panic buy items like toilet rolls, sugar, rice, pasta etc. from the shelves and if one requires it you ask the cashier. So I held up a queue of people while the pack (4 rolls to a pack) I was seeking was brought from the bowels (pardon the pun) of the shop just for me. Although embarrassed I felt at one with my fellow humans

Are you suggesting that we Australians use Koalas in lieu of loo paper

Re my comment on the Hapsburgs, I was speaking of the time when the family decided to ignore the basic rules of genetics and strengthen the breed by only mating with close relatives. It was an early attempt to achieve hillbilly nirvana and it succeeded. Once the family lineage was thoroughly cleansed of the hoi polloi did they awake to the fact that they had at the same time cleansed the lineage of any healthy specimens of Hapsburg manliness and womanliness. The current lot I believe are descendents of one of the minor offshoots. No doubt very nice people and, on the plus side, able to eat properly. Speaking of strange behaviour I am watching with a certain anthropological interest the behaviour of my fellow human beings as we come to grips with this coronavirus thing. I can understand the need to be aware of one's health and to take reasonable steps to preserve that however panic buying toilet rolls is most peculiar behaviour in evolutionary terms - one could surmise that somehow the current panic has awakened the hitherto recessive gene that controls the need to buy toilet rolls. However all that is as nothing as far as I am concerned because late January through February and into March is my regular allergy season. So I started sneezing and coughing before the plague struck and continue to sneeze and cough through it. It really is not only a nuisance, but also embarrassing as any public display of my allergy immediately cause people to behave in the way our medieval ancestors used to do towards lepers. So before I venture outdoors each day I take an antihistamine and prepare to stifle any cough that may escape my person unless I am to be required to carry a bell and cry "unclean unclean !!"