chrisf

On the subject of music, I was made to learn the recorder at school, as most of us were. My attempts at producing a tuneful sound from the instrument were much less than successful so I decided to leave the making of music to the experts. I will admit to singing once in a while - strictly unacccompanied, or, as some who have heard me would say, unaccomplished. Flavio mentioned sultry redheads. Been there, tried to do it, failed miserably. Chris

Absolutely not, though I must compliment the honourable member from Basel on his vivid imagination! For the foreseeable future a VW Polo will be adequate for transporting me and possibly a modest quantity of unspecified freight. A larger vehicle would be much more difficult to park given the pressure on spaces near my house. Chris

I am still trying to make sense of yesterday's visit to the VW dealership and subsequent trips to the bank. I found that a bank transfer was much more complicated than simply writing and posting a cheque but no doubt it is the way of the future. One thing I do remember is being warned by the young man in the bank that I am likely to receive one of those wretched missives from the bank's head office inquiring how satisfactory or otherwise was the service that I had received. I can hardly wait. The good news is that there is still a branch of the bank that one can attend. For that I give thanks. Todsy I expect to watch Prime Minister's Questions on TV. Perhaps a better title would be "MPs Behaving Badly". Chris

May he rest in peace and be fondly remembered. Chris

This morning I have an appointment with the car dealership. They want to discuss the financing of the vehicle. I am more than happy to pay off the loan. I would have been equally happy to pay up front when I bought it but someone insisted and I have a loan. The car has done little more than 12,000 miles in three years because I have had nowhere to go thanks to that ruddy virus. Any attempt by the dealership to sell me a new car will be resisted. An interesting morning is in prospect. Chris

Good advice, Winslow Boy! I did exactly that and found a strawberry plant separate from the bed and bearing four ripe fruits. Thus encouraged, I ripped out some more weeds until the rain acted as a deterrent. Thee was also an alarm and an excursion yesterday. The alarm came when the TV remote control failed. The excursion was to Curry's in search of suitable batteries. They had them in stock but I had to buy many more than the two I needed. All I have to do now is put the remainder in a safe and memorable place. Chris

In previous years I would have been harvesting the first strawbs of the season about now. Once I have finished fortifying myself with a mugga I shall go out into the jungle and gaze nostalgically, perhaps through a tearful eye, at the weedy earth where the strawberry bed used to be. Chris

Getting to the appointed place at the appointed time yesterday was not without its hiccups. The payment machine at Bedford station car park was having a bit of a hissy fit and kept telling me that I was using the "wrong card". Excuse me? Fortunately one of the humans in the booking hall knew what to do. I would not have objected to withholding the £3 that it now costs to use the car park on a Saturday, even though it used to be free when I were nobbut a lad. I would have been most disgruntled to have a penalty of much more than £3 levied on me though. I am next due to use the car park in two weeks' time. At least I know that it will not be a straightforward process. When I returned home in the evening there was a minor miracle: the space outside my house was still vacant. This is an event of such rarity as to call for declaration of a public holiday and the flying of flags from public buildings. Today may be peaceful or it may not. Time alone will tell. Chris

A seasonal greetings card was delivered to me yesterday. Sadly it turned out to be one that I had sent to an old uni friend in Australia in good time for last Christmas. Where it has been since I posted it is anyone’s guess, but it is clear that the intended recipient no longer lives at the property. At least whoever wrote “return to sender” spared my feelings by not adding “deceased” but I rather suspect that my old friend is no longer with us. I could wring my hands and wish that I had looked him up when I was in Oz but it would do no good. How long ago were we last in touch? Frighteningly long, I fear. Sadly these things happen. At least I know. On a happier note, I will be off to London this morning to meet some chums. No doubt we shall put the world to rights over a pint or several. A toast to “absent friends” might not go amiss. Chris

I have train times to check, for there are two visits to the capital city of the UK in prospect. One is tomorrow, because I am to attend a gathering of kindred spirits. The other is a fortnight hence, when I plan to take part in Pride in London, marching from Hyde Park Corner to Trafalgar Square with up to 40,000 other people. ''London Pride" is a fine ale brewed by Fullers. Belated birthday greetings to Zarniwhoop. Chris

So how do you rate the VW Polo, says he, apprehensive of the answer? A pleasant evening yesterday near Dunstable Downs - it was an Area Group meeting at the home of a member. The host's GW-themed l*y**t was, as always, a joy to behold. O for the confidence to emulate. Chris

Today is the 17th anniversary of my father's passing. Later this morning I will drive over to Cambridge Crematorium and reflect. If I am back home in time I shall watch Prime Minister's Questions, which I like to call Hansard's Half Hour despite the probable absence of anything remotely amusing. Chris

There was a bit of a rigmarole in my local Tesco yesterday. It may have been my own fault for going in too early but I found an empty shelf where the printer ink should have been. Supplies were eventually located. This took three assistants, quite a high proportion of those on duty at the early hour. The commodity in question is kept in a locked cupboard, apparently because there has been theft in the recent past. I suspect that ink is not the only stock item regularly stolen. Surely "shrinkage" is an occupational hazard of self-service? Chris

I spent much of yesterday enjoying wildlife programmes on TV and a late lunch of toad in the hole. Today I need to buy some ink for the printer, nearly as horrendous an expense as topping up the car's petrol tank. If there is any money left after all that there are groceries and lottery tickets to procure. From the latter I expect nothing save the modest satisfaction of an equally modest donation to charity. Of late I have taken to visiting the supermarket early in the morning. It is less crowded at that hour though whether it really is may be a point to ponder. Chris

Yesterday was long but worthwhile. The drive to Bristol had the welcome punctuation of a full English served on a plate! I found it in a newish restaurant on the A420 between Oxford and Faringdon which I took by accident after stopping at Oxford services for a leak and a leg stretch. It has never been my favourite road but I now look upon it more kindly. Long, long ago there was a Little Chef on that road and there was something familiar about the site of the new eating place. The return trip was via M4, M25 and M1, only because I had a passenger for Harpenden. The M25 was constipated, as usual but the M4 was free flowing and I would be lying if I were to claim that I stuck to the speed limit. 297 miles is a lot for one day and I'm feeling the effects this morning. I shall enjoy a long hot wallow very soon. The purpose of the trip was to attend the AGM of the Scalefour Society. In addition to the outbreak of democracy there were examples of fine m*d*ll*ng, and, heaven be praised, plenty of tea. I shall spend today quietly. Chris

I'm off to Bristol today for the AGM of the Scalefour Society. Rather than clutter up the M4 I shall take a pleasant route through the Cotswolds once I have girded my loins and put petrol in the car. It is a while since I last did that and I expect to shudder when I find how much the price has risen. The car will enjoy a decent run for a change. Finding a half decent breakfast could be interesting though. Chris

I shall need to put some petrol in the car before the weekend as I will never get to Bristol on what is in the tank now. It is a while since I last filled up so no doubt I will be taken aback by the price and the oath "thieving b@st@rds" is likely to be uttered. Why Bristol? The Scalefour Society's AGM is taking place at a venue on the outskirts of the city and it will be good to meet and greet some kindred spirits. Four weeks hence I hope to be in Bristol again for quite another purpose, of which more anon. On one or other trip I really ought to visit my 98 year old aunt but since she moved into a care home this has become a less than simple matter, no longer one of merely phoning to ask her to put the kettle on ahead of my imminent arrival. Chris

What, another one? Many happy returns to Flavio Chris

Languages - oh dear. I took French A Level and German O Level at school but had no cause to use either for many, many years. When, eventually I did I was surprised by how much I could remember, though it was nowhere near enough. The country that I have visited most is Switzerland, where I find myself attempting German much more often than French. It is with some shame that I confess the too frequent use of "Sprechen Sie Englisch, bitte?" to start a conversation. My conversational French is hopeless given that I am not able to speak like a machine gun! Chris

A quiet day yesterday, yet with plenty going on to distract me from gardening. I shall have to do some today or tomorrow because the garden waste bin is due to be emptied and the contents collected by the Council on Thursday. We shall see what happens, if anything. Because of the sad fate of my strawberry patch I have little inclination to tend its remains. Never in a million years would I describe myself as a hunter-gatherer but I do feel a modest thrill when I find that there are strawberries to be harvested. Tonight sees the monthly LCGB Bedford branch meeting. It falls to me to write a modest report of the proceedings for the Club Bulletin. The speaker is not the one originally engaged, which must have meant some scurrying around for the fixtures secretary to secure a replacement. Rather him than me. Too many of those attending have a propensity to burble to one another while the speaker is holding forth. Do they not know how rude that is? I blame senile decay. Chris

Yesterday I enjoyed watching on TV the Jubilee goings-on in the Mall. I cannot imagine holding down a job for 70 years and duly congratulate Her Maj for a terrific achievement. In particular I enjoyed greatly her brilliant sketch with Paddington Bear. On the downside, yet another day went by without my venturing into the garden. I cannot help dreading what I will find when eventually I do but other things must come first - breakfast and a fodder run for starters. Between now and the weekend some planning must be done, for I have an annual general meeting to attend in Bristol. The journey will be by car and should be relatively simple. The worst bit is likely to be finding a decent breakfast on the way. Such have been the changes of late that it has become difficult to find a meal on a plate at motorway establishments. Worse still, the chances of finding fried bread, surely a staple component of the full English, have become remote. Shame! Chris

It is wet out there. This acts as a deterrent to working in the jungle, as if an excuse were needed. There is still Jubilee stuff on TV and some of it promises to be quite interesting. Time will tell. The mail yesterday was bristling with medical appointments and related matters. I am to have a bone density scan. The questionnaire that I must complete is an irritant: the NHS ought to know what medication I have been prescribed because guess who prescribed it! Some questions are difficult to answer, such as whether my grandparents have broken any bones! How long do you think my grandparents have been dead, NHS? On the same day I am to have my diabetic eye screening. At least it all bu99ers up one day instead of two. Chris

So there I was waiting at the bus stop yesterday morning when a fellow intending passenger reminded me that a Sunday service was operating. Oh bother, or words to that effect. A far from brisk walk into town brought me to the pharmacy - which was closed. Of course it was, because the day was a bank holiday. Dummkopf! An even less brisk walk home followed. I will need to conjure up some tractive effort in time for the Pride processions which are now scarily close. The training had better begin today. Chris

After popping out for a few minutes to buy a copy of The Times containing the honours list I spent most of yesterday enjoying the TV coverage of the Jubilee celebrations. There is more today but I find church services less than interesting. This evening one of my favourite films is on TV. "Pride" is based on the true story of a bunch of gay and lesbian activists who showed solidarity for the miners during the 1984-85 strike. It is more amusing than the subject matter may suggest but I'm not sure I would describe it as a comedy. Although I have the DVD I shall probably watch the screening. 10.25 pm, BBC2. Chris

I had forgotten that there was to be an honours list this morning. Typically, the news bulletins are only disclosing a few names at a time, In fairness there are over 1,000, some better known than others. The TV presenter Clare Balding is well respected so hoorah for her CBE, but an MBE for Gregg Wallace? Seriously? I may nip out and buy a suitable newspaper later on to see what other horrors lurk in the list. I do realise that most gentle readers do not give a donald duck for the honours list and all that it contains. Many years ago it was part of my job to go through it and find out whether any of the so-called great and good with whom we dealt had been honoured - on a need to know basis, naturally. There were occasions when it was appropriate to congratulate someone on their gong and one does not wish to offend, does one? Today it seems that I have the choice of beavering away in the jungle or watching Trooping The Colour. That could be a tough one ... Chris