Torr Giffard LSWR 1951-71

Evenin' all,

Another crest on the rollercoaster today with probably the best visiting hour with Is so far. She now has a drain in the other kidney and was able to sit up and chat with the friends which I had taken to see her, for the full hour. Given how poorly she was yesterday I wouldn't like to call how she will be tomorrow.

Dave

Dave (TG) - Do keep pouring it out here. I found the support from RMweb enormously helpful when I was in a comparable situation. I also posted daily on a couple sites where Deb had been a most popular contributor, and received much warmth in return, of course. I think Smiffy may have been a member of one of them. The agony of watching a partner slipping away is indescribable, but sharing in public places like this worked for me, not least by giving me a focus, a self-imposed task, when all seemed lost and pointless.

....getting together as adults with a 22 year age gap meant that we set out to grab life with both hands from the off. We have typically averaged 5-6 holidays per year throughout, with many outings/meals out on top. I have also had a year of training for this situation, with Is's treatment. I'm aware that everyone will correctly view all of this from their own perspective but I take the stance that we haven't missed any opportunities and have few, if any, regrets....I have been fortunate to meet Is when I did and settle for the great times which we've had. Once quality of life slips away then we both look more to our faith and accept that there is a better place to go to.

Dave

Too true! While I'm pleased to be a Soft Southerner (otherwise I wouldn't have met Sherry! Hey, smooth or what?!), both my father and my first wife's father were from the North East. My father in his youth would go with his family to Beadnell - or was it Seahouses? - for a week, and the first thing they did was buy a box of Craster kippers for the dog, meaning they could spend the rest of the money on beer. The dog used to go home with a coat you could see your face in!

 

I have been a bit part-time the last few days, but Dave's news about Is is pretty unpleasant. Deb had ovarian - ironic in a woman who had no use for her reproductive bits, but it was her primary cancer - possibly triggered by the car crash, although medical science, aided and abetted by a zillion insurance company lawyers, has yet to sign up for any such connection - which may make a difference. I hope something can be sorted. 

 

According to the meteorologists, this whole week should have been a bit wet here. In fact the first rain fell at 2100 tonight, so the garden has had some treatment with mower, strimmer and hedge-trimmer. I think it was NH Neil who spoke warmly of a Stihl strimmer, and as I was bored with the cheap electric ones that never quite cut the moutarde - or the weeds - I bought one the other day. Suffice to say I today spent 90 mins using it, much longer than my body-beautiful (ha ha) has ever managed to endure the others in one session. But the weather is now here, heavy rain, and thunder has been rolling around for the last hour or so. 

 

The fuel crisis is here and thinning the already very limited traffic. I filled up locally on Monday, seem to have enough for a couple of weeks now, if I don't go too far. But next Friday is first scrutineering for Le Mans, and if Sherry feels up to it we may drop in for an hour or two, so that will use a bit - about 95km round trip. 

 

Hope your week looks good for a successful finish.

....once again many thanks for all of your support folks.

Is is weakening now and feeling constantly rough. She has undergone the recommended treatment for this condition and spent a year of her life in & out of hospital. Barring a course of non-chemo treatment as yet unknown to us, she wishes to just make the best of the little time left to her. As her husband I agreed to these terms when she embarked on the initial chemo etc and continually support her as best I can. Most of those friends/family wishing to visit have now had the opportunity. I spend half an hour or so with Is each day whilst on afternoons, before work and have arranged for our vicar to take communion to her. There isn't much dignity available in this situation but we're trying our best.

She has had over 70 happy and healthy years and is desperate to avoid this condition blighting those.

Best regards to all

Dave

....thank you all for your support.

Dave

Evenin' all,

We've just sailed into choppy seas....Is was diagnosed with ovarian cancer today.

Dave

Evenin' all,

Another wait now for a further scan on Friday. Slightly better news is that Is has been moved off the higher dependency ward onto a more general one.

She was bright & in good spirits earlier when I dropped in

Don't know any more just now.

Dave

Evenin' all,

Is is still bright and enjoyed the fresh fruit which I took for her. She chatted away with the 3 of us as well as others on the ward/the staff. We now await the results of the latest MRI scan.....if an operation is required then OK....but if chemo is required then I think that the answer will be no and that she will then be sent home.

Fingers crossed

Dave

Evenin' all,

Just 20mins with Is tonight after work....arrived just as she had brought back the strawberries that her sister had recently fed her and left as an orderly arrived with a wheeled chair to take her for an MRI scan. The kidney issue has affected her stomach lining....so she is down to melon & grapes tomorrow. She still looks bright and is interested in what is going on. The catheta and swollen leg make her awkward in manoevreing but fingers crossed for the MRI.

Dave 

Evenin' all,

If appetite is a guide to health then Is is in recovery mode....she scoffed the trifle and drank the fresh orange juice which I had taken for her and asked for the fresh pineapple to be left within reach. She has good colour and is bright in outlook. The card which I'd got for her, with its lovely view of the Southwold beachfront (we were there last week) is in pride of place where she can see it.....to try to entice her back out of that place. I've told her of the support/prayer reaching out from this thread to her bedside and she says thank you all for your good wishes.

Her MRI scan on the kidney area is now pending

Then the rollercoaster dipped again....as I walked out of her ward door it was closed by staff and an 'infected with C-Dif, enter at own risk' notice was hung on the handle.  

Dave

.....you really couldn't make it up. I'm now told that she won't be coming home today and visiting is at the normal time.

Dave

....I'm not quite sure where I am in the emotional stakes just now John but thanks for the support.

Dave

With more twists & turns than the Thunder Looper at Alton Towers I had a text from Is this morning to say that the specialists are now unsure of the cause of the blockage in her kidney and they're discharging her. Naturally I've done a wide swerve to the flower shop on the way home from work and made sure that she has a welcome home card too. I'm now waiting for the text to tell me to fetch her....there is obviously a story in this but I won't know until I get her home.

Dave

Evenin' all,

Is got through the kidney surgery...a tube has been inserted to ensure the flow again....her blood pressure is now beginning to return to normal. I spent an hour in the hospital with her tonight and she was relatively free of pain. The next issue however is what caused the blockage...this is thought to be another cancer. She has ruled out more chemo.....so I guess that the end is near.

On a slightly brighter note I spent the day helping the Barrowmore team prepare Mostyn for the Chatham exhibition in June....please come and say hello if you're attending the exhibition. Today was about adding more treescape in front of the repositioned backscenes. A further day shortly should see some of my ex ironstone hoppers fitted with sheets to replicate loaded sulphur hoppers en route Mostyn dock to Amlwch.

Dave

Aft'noon all,

A little progress with Is today. She is being admitted to hospital tonight for 3/4 days for a kidney operation...it appears that a partial blockage/restriction in one kidney is causing the back pain/nausea etc. Once the stent or bypass tube has been fitted and the area drained then the cause of the blockage/restriction will be investigated. This then leaves the lymph swelling in her leg, the cancerous lymph nodes under her arm and the secondary bone cancer.

I'm pleased that they're actually doing something anyway

Dave

Sherry, in our important chat this morning, attributed some of my problem to my relative solitude in the dreary years following Deb's accident and eventual demise. Grandadbob has identified how bottling things up didn't do him any good either. Your ability to be most useful to Is in this horrid period may be helped by being able to squeeze out all the nasty inner feelings to a friend or family member, leaving you - as I felt today - cleansed. We are not machines, and while I think you are rather younger than me, the same holds true. 

....wise words Ian and thank you. Fortunately, and admitting to the 50 years of youth to which you infer, I am continually monitored/mentored by a number of senior friends/family who ask those probing questions which shine a light on inner feelings etc. This admitting to their existence then makes it much easier to discuss their contents. I am however concerned with the level of regularity that is ok to answer questions/air them, such as here. Spreading depression certainly doesn't hold any attraction for me.

Dave

Afternoon All

 

Mal - sorry no suggestions from this quarter, but loads and loads of sympathetic vibes.

 

Ian - likewise - it does seem as if you have a handle on things, and that Sherry is helping you along the way.

 

Flavio - hope the celebration goes well, and that the meal is well received - I like the sound of the malt course, I must say.

 

Dave - as with everybody else here, i do offer my virtual support - keep us posted on how things are going.

 

Day went well with an attendance at the local car boot, after being up at silly o'clock this morning, and after a count up, putting the stuff away, and a meal, I promptly started to do an eyelid inspection.  I did meet Geoff's wife there, though she didn't buy him any presents off my stand - though I only had books on standard gauge with me.  Last year a few buyers asked me if I had any books on the GWR/WR, so I put a few into the mix, and what did the punters ask for - LMS/LMR - doh.

 

Car in for the annual shock to the wallet aka MOT tomorrow. 

 

Back tomorrow at some time.

Regards to All

Stewart

 

oh and here's how Lily decided to settle herself down when we took the cushioins off the sofa to brush it

 

 

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....the biggest learning curve for me Stewart is accepting the continually downward spiral started during the last year after 15yrs of continuous activity, hope & companionship. Is now sleeps/dozes a lot more, is considerably less mobile and then moves only slowly. I'm trying to view the process continuously from her point of view, so that I can work to keep her in the best possible spirits and have already accepted that any medical options undertaken will be those agreed between Is & her specialists.....I will exert no pressure on her to undergo treatments now that she has withstood the initial chemo/radiotherapy/mastectomy.....rather just offer support for her choices.

I will have another week of rest days/leave available in a months time but I'm not holding my breath as to what we'll achieve then. We previously booked holidays a year in advance without a qualm....now I wouldn't work more than a day in advance.

Yes, despair rises to the surface/starts to spread regularly but has to screwed back down again/locked back into its hole.

Dave

....awwww....go on.

Dave

....deep breath time.

Dave

Afternoon all.

 

Ian - am glad that Sherry is helping you; depression can be a terrible, lonely thing - Rick's Black Dog.

 

Flavio - your menu sounds great. I especially like the Open Malt Whisky Bar...

 

What on earth is wrong with the mother of our grand-daughter? She argues with our son  - or he upsets her, so she calls and abuses Gabe and me. It's been going on for years. She called 4 times on Friday at midnight, then another 4 times an hour later on Saturday morning at 1am. She threatened to have us raided by the police. We unplugged the phone. This morning she woke us at 7.30am and requested a taxi, "accidentally" calling us. I said that she'd got the wrong number. At 8.45am Gabe answered the phone to her and was rewarded with a diatribe "I'm going to f*** up you and your family". She's 29 so Gabe said that she should sort out her problems with our son directly instead of abusing us. Around a dozen years ago she poured a large tin of emulsion paint over our car, then did the same again around 6 months later. Police did nothing, our car insurance increased considerably. What a little sh1t she is.

 

Anyone got any sensible ideas?

 

Family meal later - no she isn't invited!

 

Have a good Sunday

 

Mal

.....you have my sympathy Mal.

If it helps, we have had similar issues with the girlfriend of our nephew. She came from a troubled background and said that all she wanted was a normal, loving family situation to settle in to.  However, what she wanted and what she was capable of were two different things. Their relationship was rocky from the off and she ended up using the 'well I'll just get pregnant card' to make sure that he didn't dump her. They have since been on/off, 'can't live together/can't live apart' too many times for any of us to remember but she then progressed to physically attacking the nephew whilst he was asleep....blacking his eye one time & gouging his cheek with her nails on another. That was enough for him and he has made it absolutely clear that he won't live with her again. The main problem is that she has to have her way at any cost and never learned to compromise in her troubled early years.

The least worst solution has been for them to live apart and share access to the little boy, however, he prefers to be with his father most of the time.

I can't see any alternative to a similar arrangement in your case but you're going to have to all act as one to make it come about....before your situation deteriorates further.

I would certainly be blocking calls from any telephone numbers which she might use.

Dave