I've sent a rough outline to his immediate family. First reactions fall in the spectrum "you can't say that!" to "that's him all right".

I find that he has outlived all his children; I sort-of knew this. The American relative is a son-in-law who never met him. I suspect this is why I've been asked to do it. 

He was a man of deeply held convictions, which have become highly unfashionable. He regarded it as so profoundly wrong that anyone should be prosecuted for their opinions, that any related legislation was intrinsically wrong. He was married for many years (widowed in his early 80s) and held views on that front best described as "traditional"

He certainly  didn't believe that objective reality was subordinate to ideology. 

He could be quite.... challenging to deal with. The notion that something should not be said because some unspecified third party might be offended formed no part of his thinking; more along the lines of "would strip his sleeve and say, these scars I gained on St Crispins Day"

Putting this in the context of "de mortuus nil nisi bonum" isn't easy. He was estranged from most of his children and his grandchildren inherited this view. I don't wish to give offence for no useful reason to his surviving immediate family but equally, see no reason to gloss over the old monster. 

Let's see what the next couple if weeks bring

So, the funeral went well enough, all things considered. I did some research (which was just as well. I found I had conflated him with another uncle regarding his military service, for one thing). 

I was offered the suggestion that if I used the general terms outlined above, without the specifics then most likely, few if any would understand; depressingly, this proved to be true. 

- one of his grandchildren thanked me for emphasising his devout views and strength of conviction, remarking that as a humanist they had no such pillar of faith... to which I could only reply "no, I don't suppose you do". 

- the American son-in-law came up trumps with a small, but very elegant crossed-staff arrangement of Old Glory and the Union Flag (from his VFW branch, I find he was a Viet Nam veteran who married the daughter in his 50s) and a USB drive carrying a recording of his grandchildren's class singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic" which I included in the proceedings. Americans respect veterans.

Another of life's pitfalls negotiated... 

Scattering of ashes next weekend. The American son-in-law has taken it upon himself to organise this - he is rather intrigued, apparently this isn't the American way. 

He has made a 3-weeks-or-so trip to UK, I find. 

We had a convivial meeting with the minister who conducted the original service, who apparently took up the vocation after retiring in his 50s. Interesting man, currently "considering his position" as they say in the light of his experiences with the Episcopality.