Platform 6

All this Waterloo celebratory talk almost has me worried because the French are going to have one hell of a party in 2066 - William the Millenium Conqueror etc. On the other hand, I've googled 'French Preparations for 2066' and nothing has come up - yet!

A lawyer questioning a doctor during a trial: Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?" A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

I was sufficiently swayed by the genre to purchase a couple of records in the 1980s - very popular on Pub Disco Nights later in the evening :- And the follow-up:- Strangely available on the Virgin label

Blimey - I'd have got out of my cab, punched the beggars senseless, educated the unfortunates gently, and got on my way.

Seems like there'd be a very-similarly dressed chap behind you too!

I smiled too until I re-read this bit:- "The York-based experts were challenged to prove the sarcastic phrase "as useful as a chocolate teapot" wrong." The truth is no-one challenged them. The "York-based experts" are employees of Nestlé and it's all a Publicity Stunt. They even admitted that the tea tasted of chocolate. Now .. "As welcome as a fart in a Space-suit" - discuss. Your suit or someone-else's?

Slag Lane is mostly in Lowton - I drive along it every weekday. Not had much luck though since the 80s. I had hair then Leads on to Plank Lane in Leigh. Immortalised by Ken Dodd - "I can do rough venues too - I've played Plank Lane Labour Club!".

I usually try a Viagra and a Vallium - it makes me feel very, very frisky but I'm not bothered if I don't get any.

The Tater'ash agreement of 1910 allowed for limited barter in the Upperthong-Greenfield free trade zone - stuff like Lancashire Black Puddings for Yorkshire Puddings etc. We'll be beggared if we 'af to tek whole villages like Leeds though!

Because safaris are frowned upon these days

I've always found that asking officials "Where can I buy Glow-plug fuel?" causes ructions.

Love it!

This is the first recorded example in this thread of Horny being far more appropriate than Hornby

From the title I would guess that is 'Exstra'

My mind just wonders if Michael is aware of how distressing such a picture is to some people? Like me. On the other hand - nice to know where all the bits went. Thanks Michael.